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Need Advice About a Girl
myMum 
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25 / M / Hougang
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Posted 1/30/07
u can juz watch over her like an angel and maybe one day u hav the chance to do smth for her n she would start to accept u..
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26 / M / im fine! thank you!
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Posted 1/30/07
is troublesome
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M
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Posted 1/30/07

myMum wrote:

u can juz watch over her like an angel and maybe one day u hav the chance to do smth for her n she would start to accept u..


yes, save her from a near-death experience and then a new love will blossom between the two
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33 / M / Cali
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Posted 1/30/07
if she doesnt like u, i think its best u move on.

and the best way to get over somebody is to find somebody else.

thats like total rebounding tho. but for some ppl it takes like years b4 they get over somebody. feelings r hard to control...
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29 / M / Beyond
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Posted 1/30/07
Love is irrational.

If you really must persist then do so, there's always time (unless she gets married but then it's open game again if she gets a divorced or becomes widowed early... but saying that, just don't do anything drastic). There may be a lesson in trying and waiting for her, just make sure you can deal with it. If I may say so, moving on is easier said than done and paradoxically, a closure could bring you closer together if ever you want to keep her as a friend. So if you must tell her about what you have for her (that irrational, abstract thing), then do so, at least you'll both know what's really going on.
And if I were you I'd keep off the 1-4-3 word... seriously.

For some "inspiration", try watching Densha Otoko
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26 / F / Mexico
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Posted 1/30/07
In my opinion... i have had this case the other way around... and my friend is really nice and hes a good listener and hes overall a great guy but I never felt anything for him and i never will sometimes it just dosent happen for the other person and believe me we feel terrible but theres nothing that can be done... but well stay close to her she will apretiate it :3 (and who knows maby she might change her mind)
Posted 1/30/07
We're still young. Your life and her life still have a whole lot of jagged, sweeping movements before they settle down. The chances of both you and her being the same people you are now when you're both 30 are pretty small.

The answer of whether or not you should wait lies within the girl. Do your post-highschool lives line up at all? Could she accept that kind of gesture? Keep in mind that a lot of young girls wouldn't be mature enough to respect someone waiting for them, they've never had to do it themselves so they can't appreciate it. Waiting for someone to grow is a really serious move with a not so hot sucess rate. Just pulling out anime as a model, think about how many times the long time friend who has kept a candle in her window for years gets hedged out by a newer model that flashes by. Most young girls are often cruel to boys because they've never known rejection, and just think it is unnatural for someone to care about them so much, a mistake.

I'd say that you've done everything you can now, and even if you move on, you'll never forget your first love, even if it was one sided. Moving on could take years, and sometimes may not completely happen till your heart settles on someone else. You'll always think kindly of her, but the intervals between when you think about her will get longer and longer as time goes by. One day you'll realize that you didn't think about her yesterday, then it grow to the one week mark. It took me about four years to get to the one month mark, but I did accomplish it.

Even if I'm lonely now, six years later, I'm at "three month" intervals with my first love, and three day intervals with my most recent love, and that is eight months into the recovery process. I'm just not the "rebound" kinda guy, I'm sure they really speed up the process, but even if I found a new gal the day I lost one, I'd still wait a couple months to cool because it's not right to be with someone and have your heart elsewhere. Plus, if you try to heal your heart with any old girl, she won't satisfy the things you miss if she doesn't have it in her, and all you'll do is make your problems her's.

But keep in mind, with advice, if you live your life like me, you'll end up just as happy, so figure it out on your own.
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27 / M / Toronto
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Posted 1/30/07

KuRRopT wrote:

I'm not one to give out opinions in this topic but.

Think of it this way.
You're lucky you can still hang around with her. I mean, it's always better than her not wanting to be your friend anymore.


yes yes that is true. lol old sad memories haha hate it
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22 / M / the darkness
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Posted 1/30/07
Its rough but sometimes a man needs to value what he does have not what he doesnt so value the friendship that is, not the romance that isn't
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34 / M / UK
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Posted 1/30/07
don't worry!u just keep on luvin' her n' finally she'll bcom urs(i'm sure, unless she loves som1 else!)
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27 / M / Toronto
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Posted 1/30/07
Steal the girl, of course under the stealing rules of bokura ga ita...lol. Either way if u cant...give up!
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34 / M / UK
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Posted 1/30/07
ha ha ! n' how do u s'pose u do dat??u can never steal a girl's heart!
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30 / M / Badda Bing Badda...
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Posted 1/30/07
true fact... unless u do it by force.... but then again.. theres several problems with using force....
Posted 1/30/07
not sure this is off topic or not, but great advice and perspective on this forum.
great advice guys, helped clear somethings up for me two
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25 / M / Usa
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Posted 1/30/07
tough luck guy,
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