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Writer
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20 / F / Philippines
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Posted 5/10/08
Let's share some jokes and Laugh with everyone!!!

here some

Feel better now
Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying.

She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!"

Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Mary. Some people don't even know you."


Passing an exam
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"


Third Opinion

Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients they prefer.

Doctor Watson says, ''I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.''

Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ''I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.''

Doctor Ahn says, ''I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.''



share some jokes or even your own jokes!!!
Editor
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24 / F / ~*heaven*~
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Posted 5/11/08
lolz!! me lyked da 2nd nd 3rd joke!!^-^
First Creator
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Posted 5/12/08
there was a blond, a brunette, and a red-head driving in a car on the 6-freeway. the blond was driving. a policeman pulls up, and says,"Missy, you're going to slow. Please speed up a bit." He drives away. Later, the same cop notices that the blond's car had a broken taillight, and he pulls up again to tell her. He happens to look in the back, and sees the brunette and the redhead with their hair strewn out and their lips flapping out. "What happened to them?," he asked.

Cheerily, the blond responded. "We just got off the 172-freeway."
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Posted 5/16/08

misterywaters wrote:

there was a blond, a brunette, and a red-head driving in a car on the 6-freeway. the blond was driving. a policeman pulls up, and says,"Missy, you're going to slow. Please speed up a bit." He drives away. Later, the same cop notices that the blond's car had a broken taillight, and he pulls up again to tell her. He happens to look in the back, and sees the brunette and the redhead with their hair strewn out and their lips flapping out. "What happened to them?," he asked.

Cheerily, the blond responded. "We just got off the 172-freeway."


lolz!! XD

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23 / F / -snerk- Like I'm...
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Posted 5/22/08
Ah, blonde jokes. Racist, but entertaining.

The Genie

One day when a brunette was out walking, she stumbled upon an old lamp. Curious, she picked it up and rubbed at it. Lo and behold a magical genie popped out of the lamp and in a booming voice spoke to the brunette, "For freeing me (Yes, I made that part up) you will receive 3 wishes. However, for each wish you make, every blonde in the world will receive double of what you wished for."

Nodding to show she understood, the brunette took a deep breath and announced her first wish, "Genie, I wish for a big mansion!"

The Genie replied, "Your wish is granted, and now every blonde in the world has two big mansions."

"My second wish, I wish for a gorgeous man."

"Your wish is granted, and now every blonde in the world has two gorgeous men."

"Alright Genie. For my last wish. You see that stick over there? I want to beat me half to death with it."

And...

How to Treat a Rude Customer*
An award should go to the gate attendant at Luqa airport. A crowded
Malta-London flight was cancelled. She was the lone attendant in charge of
re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry
passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the
counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST
CLASS".
The attendant replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but
I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work
something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the
passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"
Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address
microphone: May I have your attention please? May I have your attention
please?" she began. With her voice being heard clearly throughout the
terminal, she said, "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW
WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate
14."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at
the attendant, gritted his teeth and said, "F*** You!" Without flinching,
she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for
that too."
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Posted 5/25/08




Writer
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20 / F / Philippines
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Posted 5/27/08

FallenAngel159 wrote:







LOLZ i lke the the second the 3rd joke
First Creator
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21 / California
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Posted 5/31/08
haha i love the first and the second joke!

well, here goes!
there's a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette trapped on an island 100 miles away from the coast. The redhead decides to try to swim to the shore. She swam for 45 miles, then drowned. The brunette decided she wanted to try, and at 74 miles, she drowned. The blonde decides to try to swim to the coast. She swam 99 mile, decided she was tired,

and swam back.
Writer
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23 / F
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Posted 6/3/08
LOL!!! All the jokes were so funny!! But I knew the joke about the blonde swimming 99 metres and then back again.

Here's one:
A blonde studied for a blood test.
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24 / M / Antartic
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Posted 6/5/08
Wow, all those jokes are sooo hilarious! But it's all referring to Blonds.....why?
Writer
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23 / F
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Posted 6/5/08
i hav one
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... "
Writer
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F / somewhere down th...
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Posted 6/5/08
A joke you would already know.......

There was two men a filipino and a american.
The american asked the filipino if he could use his name 3 times
in one sentence. THe filipino said " Hi! paul you might paul in the swimming paul.

Hehehe I kinda like this joke.^_^
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Posted 6/8/08
Oi lolz.
Writer
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20 / F / Philippines
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Posted 6/8/08

sazoe wrote:

A joke you would already know.......

There was two men a filipino and a american.
The american asked the filipino if he could use his name 3 times
in one sentence. THe filipino said " Hi! paul you might paul in the swimming paul.

Hehehe I kinda like this joke.^_^


as i know its five

Paul be carepaul you might paul in the swimming paul and make a paul of yourself

Writer
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21 / F / what ever you DO...
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Posted 6/8/08
haha^^ love all the jokes! here goes one^^
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