First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  Next  Last
Do people listen to you when you speak?
775 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / F / *over here*
Offline
Posted 5/12/08 , edited 5/12/08
people DO listen to me when I speak of things that are academically related [but ironically], when I speak of personal things, I feel like NOBODY'S listening at all, even if I'am speaking with my own friends.

For me it is like being detached to everybody when such a thing happens, and unfortunately it happens to most of the time.

So people, share me some of your thoughts or experiences about this topic.

6072 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / the 650
Offline
Posted 5/13/08 , edited 5/13/08
1. i feel that this doesnt belong in the extended discussion section but whatevers..

2. Unfortunately, or maybe i should say fortunately, i dont share your "pain" I have many close friends to whom i can easily talk to about personal problems and receive help and such.

If your age is correct, then i assume you're in college and these friends of yours might only see you as a study buddy since they only listen to "academically related" topics. However, your friends from before entering college might just need a little push so to speak. I know a lot of people that loooove to rant about their own problems to their friends but hate it when others do the same to them and tries to avoid the situation as much as possible. I sometimes feel like this because a lot of people tell me about their problems seeking advice or just wanting to rant and it sometimes depresses me or angers me, but not at my friends bui at the people causing them these problems. So even though im willing to help, i'd still rather not have so many people come complaining to me haha.

your friends could easily be feeling like this or maybe just dont feel so "open" towards as you as you might to them. You should just try saying something like "I really wanna speak to you about something..." just to get their curiuosity up first instead of just saying right your worries right away like its just another topic. besides when you say stuff like that or something like "i really need your help with etc etc" it makes the people youre talking to feel more needed rather than a receptor of your worries / ranting

gahh that was long. i dont know if all that made sense since im writing this at 3 in the morning but yea. i hope they start listening to you soon. o yea you could always try the old school way of actually talking to your parents about problems hahaha.
2711 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / F / Philippines
Offline
Posted 5/13/08
Felt the same thing... i used to get frustrated when people doesn't listen to me... but i got used to it eventually... i just kept in mind that people have their own problems to worry about mine... i'm an introvert so i'm used to keeping things with myself but there are times when things just get out of hand that i need people to turn to... and out of the many friends i have there's only one or two who's willing to listen... sometimes people are just not what they want or expect them to be...
77 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
30 / a tiny speck in t...
Offline
Posted 5/13/08

Communication is a delicate thing the most important thing is that we are able to put ourselves in the others shoe and understand the words that we pass on. Words u say can imply things u don't mean, the tone u use can radically change the way it is received. Timing and placement also effect how it will be recieved. Many times we don't realise when ppl have approached us for comfort and we may have taken it completely the wrong way. I used to be really bad at this with study and experience you learn how to approach friends, even then no-one is willing to take all our burdens dumped on them, The most important thing to realise is the rich realm in which you have yourself. Sometimes if we rationalise all the emotional aspects of our problems and organise it we realise that we have made a mountain out of a molehill, if we present the mountain to our friends there likely to run (because we all have our share of burdens), but if youve mastered finding the molehill (essence of the problem) then your more likely to get a response from a friend to help or comfort u, as its enough to handle. (Same goes with the way in which we normally respond to our friends). First things first is that you are your own best friend and your own greatest listener (lol not in a selfish way but that we are firstly responsible to our own thoughts and problems), before approaching friends approach yourself, battle out the emotional with the rational and figure as much as u can, and what you really can't fix yourself then share that part of the burden with friends and regain the strength to sort it out. Once you master listening to urself and depending on yourself first then you will realize how many ppl will start to approach u to lean on and then u will be the one to run away lol (...so Im exaggerating a little but its got a point)

You've got to be positive, and notice the good things... no matter how many times you notice the bad things it won't change anything. Anyways I ranted on and hopefully u read lol (I mean we are just random ppl on the net yet we listened (read) < who says nobody listens ay) ... anywayz best of luck
775 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / F / *over here*
Offline
Posted 5/15/08

nipponboy911 wrote:

1. i feel that this doesnt belong in the extended discussion section but whatevers..

2. Unfortunately, or maybe i should say fortunately, i dont share your "pain" I have many close friends to whom i can easily talk to about personal problems and receive help and such.

If your age is correct, then i assume you're in college and these friends of yours might only see you as a study buddy since they only listen to "academically related" topics. However, your friends from before entering college might just need a little push so to speak. I know a lot of people that loooove to rant about their own problems to their friends but hate it when others do the same to them and tries to avoid the situation as much as possible. I sometimes feel like this because a lot of people tell me about their problems seeking advice or just wanting to rant and it sometimes depresses me or angers me, but not at my friends bui at the people causing them these problems. So even though im willing to help, i'd still rather not have so many people come complaining to me haha.

your friends could easily be feeling like this or maybe just dont feel so "open" towards as you as you might to them. You should just try saying something like "I really wanna speak to you about something..." just to get their curiuosity up first instead of just saying right your worries right away like its just another topic. besides when you say stuff like that or something like "i really need your help with etc etc" it makes the people youre talking to feel more needed rather than a receptor of your worries / ranting

gahh that was long. i dont know if all that made sense since im writing this at 3 in the morning but yea. i hope they start listening to you soon. o yea you could always try the old school way of actually talking to your parents about problems hahaha.


I got your point there, and its really nice of you to say such things (say things that I NEED to hear, not things that I WANT to hear). there are a lot of people whom I listen to, and I really do listen to them intently, but its just kind of unfair when I just need a little bit of their time to listen, they don't really have to analyze the every detail my worries, so practically they just have to sit and shut up for a while and hear me speak up (it doesn't really take as much time that they take from me). Coz you know when can't intercept my ideas, emotions, problems to other people most especially to my friends, parents etc. I feel like im detached to them, like the love and care is decreased and makes me wander away from them. It's not a good feeling, really, and I bet nobody wants to feel like this, but I said to myself if I get used to it, then maybe it would get better. Wrong. it only made me feel worse, now I' am battling with my own coldness that built up with this "communication" problem. but still i'am very much open to listen to other people even if im a little bit cold (maybe it gives me a little warmth whenever people approaches me, cause yeah, it does makes you feel important and needed) heh, there's a big gap between my parents and myself, coz they are very much old fashioned - old folks, and problems of the youth are nothing but a waste of time to them,,,so I better find more friends?ya think?
2401 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / Sasori's house ma...
Offline
Posted 5/15/08
No. not really i think its because i either speak too soft or the stuff im talking about is all crap that the other party does not want to listen to it. After this 4 years, i still do not see a difference on how people communicate with me... am i unfriendly? am i too offensive when i talk? and after that i come to realise people did not want to listen to me. Knowing this, I seek help from my relatives as mainly my parents and I cannot really communicate with each other. I get angry easily...
775 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / F / *over here*
Offline
Posted 5/15/08

Milia_ wrote:

Felt the same thing... i used to get frustrated when people doesn't listen to me... but i got used to it eventually... i just kept in mind that people have their own problems to worry about mine... i'm an introvert so i'm used to keeping things with myself but there are times when things just get out of hand that i need people to turn to... and out of the many friends i have there's only one or two who's willing to listen... sometimes people are just not what they want or expect them to be...


yeah people do have their own share of problem, but in order to conquer them all we need to release it or share it to other people (not sharing in a way that both of you would have the same problem, heh). sharing it to other people makes the problem lighter and bearable. i'am an introvert myself, and I don't speak up that much, I'm the listener type. most people share their frustrations to me, and I listen to them with all my heart and most of the time I try to solve the problem with that person, but there are things that you can' t interfere with, so I'm just there to support them. I'm always behind their back no matter what, even if they had left me for no apparent reason.

since I listen a lot to other people, there are times that I forget to listen to myself, and I just kept on ignoring it, and then came a time that i need someone to listen to me. I kept on looking, but the first person I came contact with would just change the topic, while the last just won't shut up. Its unfair, unfair!. So I just end up on keeping it to myself, and having a bitter heart against those people whom I trusted to be my real companions. yeah, there are people that are not what we expect them to be, and sometimes we are one of these people.
12079 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / location location...
Offline
Posted 5/15/08
Ditch your friends....there's no point in having people around you that would listen to things that interest them.

Listening to other's is a major role in a friendship.


DragonflyIllusion wrote:

No. not really i think its because i either speak too soft or the stuff im talking about is all crap that the other party does not want to listen to it. After this 4 years, i still do not see a difference on how people communicate with me... am i unfriendly? am i too offensive when i talk? and after that i come to realise people did not want to listen to me. Knowing this, I seek help from my relatives as mainly my parents and I cannot really communicate with each other. I get angry easily...


I speak lots of crap to my friends too, and I'm known for that. Well if you find people getting bored with you talking, then stop talking.
Why don't people want to listen to you?Maybe you caught them at a bad time? If you are too offensive, then don't be. Starting a sentence by scolding someone will make people hate you(I'm not saying that you do) Heck start by controlling your anger. I'm not much of a advice giver but this is what I would do.
775 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / F / *over here*
Offline
Posted 5/15/08

0000mi0000 wrote:


Communication is a delicate thing the most important thing is that we are able to put ourselves in the others shoe and understand the words that we pass on. Words u say can imply things u don't mean, the tone u use can radically change the way it is received. Timing and placement also effect how it will be recieved. Many times we don't realise when ppl have approached us for comfort and we may have taken it completely the wrong way. I used to be really bad at this with study and experience you learn how to approach friends, even then no-one is willing to take all our burdens dumped on them, The most important thing to realise is the rich realm in which you have yourself. Sometimes if we rationalise all the emotional aspects of our problems and organise it we realise that we have made a mountain out of a molehill, if we present the mountain to our friends there likely to run (because we all have our share of burdens), but if youve mastered finding the molehill (essence of the problem) then your more likely to get a response from a friend to help or comfort u, as its enough to handle. (Same goes with the way in which we normally respond to our friends). First things first is that you are your own best friend and your own greatest listener (lol not in a selfish way but that we are firstly responsible to our own thoughts and problems), before approaching friends approach yourself, battle out the emotional with the rational and figure as much as u can, and what you really can't fix yourself then share that part of the burden with friends and regain the strength to sort it out. Once you master listening to urself and depending on yourself first then you will realize how many ppl will start to approach u to lean on and then u will be the one to run away lol (...so Im exaggerating a little but its got a point)

You've got to be positive, and notice the good things... no matter how many times you notice the bad things it won't change anything. Anyways I ranted on and hopefully u read lol (I mean we are just random ppl on the net yet we listened (read) < who says nobody listens ay) ... anywayz best of luck


maybe we do say things that are too much to handle for other people (its not their problem anyway) so they tend to kinda ignore it. We really can't just depend on their comforting talks and let it alone to solve all our worries, which is really wrong. We won't learn in this way (right?wow i'm really becoming more and more rational with my answers,heh) and we also might lose those people whom we had taken granted for.

Also there are times that I blame other people for my own fault (I get over shadowed by the thought that "because you didn't listen to me, that's why this had happened"),,,its wrong, I know, it's not really their fault, first its not their problem and second you didn't really told them the problem. (I don't know if it make sense or it relates to your statement above,,,ehhh, I just wanna share my thoughts with ya),,,

*damn its raining hard,,, might get another blackout tonight,,,

I don't know what to say write anymore,,,but i hope to hear something from you soon,,,i never thought forums could be this fun and worthy for your time [babbling],,,
775 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / F / *over here*
Offline
Posted 5/15/08

DragonflyIllusion wrote:

No. not really i think its because i either speak too soft or the stuff im talking about is all crap that the other party does not want to listen to it. After this 4 years, i still do not see a difference on how people communicate with me... am i unfriendly? am i too offensive when i talk? and after that i come to realise people did not want to listen to me. Knowing this, I seek help from my relatives as mainly my parents and I cannot really communicate with each other. I get angry easily...


honestly I don't want to listen to crappy things (maybe I do listen,,,or maybe I just pretend?) because its a waste of a time you know,,,really, nobody wants to listen to thrash, unless they are thinking they same way as you are,,,

I hate people who yells when they don't really have to,,,not that its annoying but it is also like they are mad at you,,,as if scolding you of something you didn't do,,,so be calm,,,you don't have to yell or scream just to heard (coz you said you speak too soft?),,,I stutter (but not that bad of a case) you know, and it's really embarrassing, but I still try to pick my words carefully so that people would listen to me,,,(though there are not much who does)
2401 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / Sasori's house ma...
Offline
Posted 5/15/08

snipp wrote:

honestly I don't want to listen to crappy things (maybe I do listen,,,or maybe I just pretend?) because its a waste of a time you know,,,really, nobody wants to listen to thrash, unless they are thinking they same way as you are,,,

I hate people who yells when they don't really have to,,,not that its annoying but it is also like they are mad at you,,,as if scolding you of something you didn't do,,,so be calm,,,you don't have to yell or scream just to heard (coz you said you speak too soft?),,,I stutter (but not that bad of a case) you know, and it's really embarrassing, but I still try to pick my words carefully so that people would listen to me,,,(though there are not much who does)


Thx for the advice I'll try my besty
2203 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / F / New York
Offline
Posted 5/15/08
I only get paid attention to when I ask for it. My close friends listen to me and hear what I have to say, but not my parents. They just go off talking about business and everything when I start speaking.
5261 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / M / Philippines
Offline
Posted 5/15/08
Everyone is listening when I start talking on the front. Not just because they only want to hear what I will say, just because I'm attaching some jokes when I speak. But sometimes, when my I am talking to my friends, it really annoys me when some of them are not listening.
775 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / F / *over here*
Offline
Posted 5/15/08

jaff07 wrote:

Everyone is listening when I start talking on the front. Not just because they only want to hear what I will say, just because I'm attaching some jokes when I speak. But sometimes, when my I am talking to my friends, it really annoys me when some of them are not listening.


people loves to listen to jokes ,,,so you really do get their attention,,,its a good thing,,,coz even if you dont make sense you still have the crowd's ears for you,,,but the only bad thing about it I think is that they would never take you seriously,,,they think that everything you say is a part of a joke,,,but I envy you,,,honestly,,,cause you can make everyone laugh,,,which I also think is an important thing in order to connect with people,,,so keep it up,,,don't worry I think there are still a lot of people behind you who would definitely gonna listen to you,,,
775 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / F / *over here*
Offline
Posted 5/15/08

bigcheese96 wrote:

I only get paid attention to when I ask for it. My close friends listen to me and hear what I have to say, but not my parents. They just go off talking about business and everything when I start speaking.


I really can't count on my parents when it comes to communication,,,cause they barely talk to me,,,and current problems that teens have doesn't really make sense to them,,,
First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.