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Do people listen to you when you speak?
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24 / M / France
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Posted 5/15/08
huh no -.-
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25 / M / Philippines
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Posted 5/15/08

snipp wrote:


jaff07 wrote:

Everyone is listening when I start talking on the front. Not just because they only want to hear what I will say, just because I'm attaching some jokes when I speak. But sometimes, when my I am talking to my friends, it really annoys me when some of them are not listening.


people loves to listen to jokes ,,,so you really do get their attention,,,its a good thing,,,coz even if you dont make sense you still have the crowd's ears for you,,,but the only bad thing about it I think is that they would never take you seriously,,,they think that everything you say is a part of a joke,,,but I envy you,,,honestly,,,cause you can make everyone laugh,,,which I also think is an important thing in order to connect with people,,,so keep it up,,,don't worry I think there are still a lot of people behind you who would definitely gonna listen to you,,,


Yeah, I know that bad thingy. I can feel it and I can see on some other faces that they're just waiting for my jokes(thankfully, only few of them are waiting for that joke), but sometimes I'm trying my speech to look formal. But I'm a cheerful guy and I don't like things that will end up so boring.

At first only few them are not listening, but now. I've changed the way they listen to me. They're now listening.
You just need to be yourself, smile, say what you will say.
Posted 5/15/08
people listen when i speak most of the time..except when i talk randomly..but i'm just glad i have close friends who actually listens to me about all the things that has been going on...when i have a lot of energy i can become very talkative and i don't know if they find it annoying but yeh they still listen..
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Nicole 
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30 / F / Space
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Posted 5/15/08
Sometimes being soft spoken can be detrimental in trying to get the attention of others; sweet, low in tone -- it usually doesn't catch someone's ear at first over someone who possess a loud and grating voice. Sure, the logic is that we'd prefer something easy on our hearing, but the mind hones in on the thing that is irritating us the most and focuses there. In these circumstances, one can be easily overlooked and unheard against someone who overpowers you in volume.

But really, it depends on how others perceive and regard you.

Let's look at this from a perspective concerning personalities. Someone who is very loud and outspoken has the ability to grab attention of those around them. It's understandable that they would have to exude a level of confidence to voice their opinions, which to some, is attractive (in all senses of the word). If it is in your nature to be shy and invisible, more often than not, the message you are trying to convey will go by the wayside.

What you say also plays a big role in whether or not people are listening to you. You can be a person of few words, but the weight and value behind them may totally undermine that fact. On the other hand, if you are a person with a lot of things to say, the ability to convey your thoughts coherently to others is important. If no one can understand you, it's hard to say that anyone would be listening.
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26 / F / Philippines♥
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Posted 5/15/08
yes. but when they don't, i make them listen.
well, of course my friends listen to me when i tell them something. be it funny, nonsense, cheesy or serious.
we talk a lot. i also listen to them, but i'm better with talking.
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25 / M / ♦♣♠♥♦♣♠♥♦♣♠♥♦♣♠♥
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Posted 5/15/08
No.... LOL
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26 / F / Colorado
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Posted 5/15/08
I think this should be in the General Section, no?
I command people to listen to me. It's advantageous to them as well as for me. (>.<")
Posted 5/15/08
I think that by others definitions they would say they listen to me, but listening and hearing are two very different things. Hearing is the act of paying attention, of repeating key words, but not necessarily grasping the subject matter.

Listening is the actual grasping of subjects being discussed, of maintaining a sense of empathy -yet- distance, and of communicating without overadvising.

When people vent, they don't really want a bunch of "consoling" words, they don't want empty promises of "it will get better", they definitely don't want overopinionations and criticism.

Do I get listened to? Not always. I think I can say I have about 3 or 4 people who really listen, but out of those 4 or so, 2 have enough issues of their own, the other 2 are amazing and always understanding but even then I should do my part to listen to them from time to time.
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26 / F / *over here*
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Posted 5/16/08

echo_psyche wrote:

I think that by others definitions they would say they listen to me, but listening and hearing are two very different things. Hearing is the act of paying attention, of repeating key words, but not necessarily grasping the subject matter.

Listening is the actual grasping of subjects being discussed, of maintaining a sense of empathy -yet- distance, and of communicating without overadvising.

When people vent, they don't really want a bunch of "consoling" words, they don't want empty promises of "it will get better", they definitely don't want overopinionations and criticism.

Do I get listened to? Not always. I think I can say I have about 3 or 4 people who really listen, but out of those 4 or so, 2 have enough issues of their own, the other 2 are amazing and always understanding but even then I should do my part to listen to them from time to time.


people most of the times only do the hearing thing,,,they never really pay attention to what is being said (listening),,,sure a person who rants/talks about his worries don't want the other party to preach him of his own mistakes, but he would want that person to listen to all the details of his problem.

This is always my complain to my bestfriend, she always make comments even before I had finished my statement, so in my part it is like she's shielding herself to keep the topic to myself,,,in other words she doesn't want to listen at all,,,a disappointment,,,and in the end of our conversation, I would get the same line "go help yourself",,,as if I'm not helping myself at all,,,

well i do listen to people,,,but i only listen to important things,,,when I hear things that are not really important or necessary,,,I would disregard it,,,and focus on the story of the that person,,,and the time that I would make suggestions/comments etc. is the time when he's done with his statement,,,(its a sign of respect,,,and an indicator that I really listened to him),,,

Posted 5/16/08

snipp wrote:

people most of the times only do the hearing thing,,,they never really pay attention to what is being said (listening),,,sure a person who rants/talks about his worries don't want the other party to preach him of his own mistakes, but he would want that person to listen to all the details of his problem.

This is always my complain to my bestfriend, she always make comments even before I had finished my statement, so in my part it is like she's shielding herself to keep the topic to myself,,,in other words she doesn't want to listen at all,,,a disappointment,,,and in the end of our conversation, I would get the same line "go help yourself",,,as if I'm not helping myself at all,,,

well i do listen to people,,,but i only listen to important things,,,when I hear things that are not really important or necessary,,,I would disregard it,,,and focus on the story of the that person,,,and the time that I would make suggestions/comments etc. is the time when he's done with his statement,,,(its a sign of respect,,,and an indicator that I really listened to him),,,



I agree. For example: How can a person even give advice if they haven't listened to a persons entire issue or statement? If they are giving advice on a half-story then they may end up giving bad advice depending the outcome of the story (which they never finished listening to)
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21 / F / Philippines
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Posted 5/16/08
they should coz It's a way of respecting others
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28 / F / Where the clowns...
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Posted 5/16/08

snipp wrote:

I really can't count on my parents when it comes to communication,,,cause they barely talk to me,,,and current problems that teens have doesn't really make sense to them,,,


Yeah, it's like my mum's solution for all of my social problems is basically "it's your fault" "pretend/try to be interested in what they like" and "stop being dramatic and get over it."

And I do. I really have tried. There are a lot of things my friends are interested in that I could care less about but I do my best to follow along and comment anyway. They know I'm always there to listen and help them when life throws them lemons, but the minute I try to turn it around and want to talk, they're all "...yeah. So anyway.." For God's sake, at least try to pretend like you give two shits about what I'm saying, thinking, feeling. Almost more than I hate being lied to, I can not tolerate being dismissed like I'm nothing, like I'm lower than everyone. Just, the nerve! >_<

And when I stop talking to them altogether my mum just assumes it's all my fault. Who cares if my friends don't listen to me when I speak? If I just "ignore it" think "things will get better" and continue to "listen and feed their egos" everything will be okay. Hell, she never listens to me either, so why do I bother?

Eh. It's a down day for me... I might just be feeling really paranoid or something.. maybe I should be blaming myself >.>
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27 / F / 東京都
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Posted 5/16/08
Sometimes~
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30 / a tiny speck in t...
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Posted 5/16/08

snipp wrote:

maybe we do say things that are too much to handle for other people (its not their problem anyway) so they tend to kinda ignore it. We really can't just depend on their comforting talks and let it alone to solve all our worries, which is really wrong. We won't learn in this way (right?wow i'm really becoming more and more rational with my answers,heh) and we also might lose those people whom we had taken granted for.

Also there are times that I blame other people for my own fault (I get over shadowed by the thought that "because you didn't listen to me, that's why this had happened"),,,its wrong, I know, it's not really their fault, first its not their problem and second you didn't really told them the problem. (I don't know if it make sense or it relates to your statement above,,,ehhh, I just wanna share my thoughts with ya),,,

*damn its raining hard,,, might get another blackout tonight,,,

I don't know what to say write anymore,,,but i hope to hear something from you soon,,,i never thought forums could be this fun and worthy for your time [babbling],,,


^ its good that you look at things that way..., its sometimes from our own insecurities and feelings that we project this whole picture about what ppl think and do and we actually make them and situations turn into what we are feeling, which isn't necessarily true. Most of the time if we persist in thinking positively it will eventually turn out that way. (obviously its not easy, patience and encouragement is neccessary.. no harm in trying our best tho )

I think communicating with anyone including parents needs a shared point so that u can connect and communicate, for example if you start to ask and learn about your parents teenage years, then it may be possible to connect with them realising that despite the generation gap, the feelings when they where young have alot of shared points with your own (Ok so some parents don't admit it... but we just to need to remind them about it! lol)

... anyways hope its tropical rain your having and not the cloudy weather we get on my side of the world...
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26 / M / ThE DaRkNeeS WorlD
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Posted 5/16/08
me too if i was speak aboutsomething they like or they was speak in something they like even if i wasint like it but i hear it lol-they wont hear what i say about my self or about my feeling well those who do this thing is not best friend sure and not close friend even they are just friend or mate in clase or in room or in anywhere ^^
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