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Do people listen to you when you speak?
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29 / M / the 650
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Posted 5/17/08 , edited 5/17/08

snipp wrote:

I got your point there, and its really nice of you to say such things (say things that I NEED to hear, not things that I WANT to hear). there are a lot of people whom I listen to, and I really do listen to them intently, but its just kind of unfair when I just need a little bit of their time to listen, they don't really have to analyze the every detail my worries, so practically they just have to sit and shut up for a while and hear me speak up (it doesn't really take as much time that they take from me). Coz you know when I can't intercept my ideas, emotions, problems to other people most especially to my friends, parents etc. I feel like im detached to them, like the love and care is decreased and makes me wander away from them. It's not a good feeling, really, and I bet nobody wants to feel like this, but I said to myself if I get used to it, then maybe it would get better. Wrong. it only made me feel worse, now I' am battling with my own coldness that built up with this "communication" problem. but still i'am very much open to listen to other people even if im a little bit cold (maybe it gives me a little warmth whenever people approaches me, cause yeah, it does makes you feel important and needed) heh, there's a big gap between my parents and myself, coz they are very much old fashioned - old folks, and problems of the youth are nothing but a waste of time to them,,,so I better find more friends?ya think?


Well it can't be helped if theres a gap between you and your parents but if you're only saying that because of the whole "problems of youth are nothing but a waste to them" or parents being unable to understand the problems of today's teenagers then i think thats just wrong. Unless your parents are like neglectful drug addicts or something, which i know they're not, then they most definitely care about their own daughter's problems. and the whole misconception that parents cant understand kids is just wrong. unless you have problems dealing with an internet stalker or something of which they have no experience of dealing with, then most problems have are pretty basic. either love problems, human-relations problems such as your feeling detached to people and others that any regular person must have experienced in their lifetime. However, i must add that if your parents are really really religious then its best to avoid talking about any problems involving sexuality >.< But yes if you talk to your either one of your parents everyday about anything even dinner and you guys somehow still have fun talking about random useless crap instead of having that awkward "wtf do i say next" atmosphere, then most likely they will be willing and more than glad to talk to you about your problems.

And friends are not so easy. Like they say, quality and not quantity. Its easy to make friends but what you really need is a [i[real friend who is willing to listen and care. there might be one among your friends that maybe you might not have yet talked to or an old friend who you were close to but lost in touch with as you transitioned from middle to high school. or if you really are seeking new friends you check out clubs you're in or interested cuz i find that people in interest clubs like the anime club (lol) or photography or drama and not something general or school related have a lot of how do i say it, passionate people i guess. and those are the types that will most likely become good friends with someone they have something in common and can be at ease with. They're not usual "oh whatevers"' type of people who will just brush aside a friend's problems. But yea you dont have to take me seriously about the whole club thing, just talking from experience and i guess you could call it theory at the same time haha.

goodness this is seriously long =_=

edit: oh and the whole "tried to get used it" idea is the worse thing to do in situations like this because it ends up backfiring. like you said, you tried to get used and you yourself became colder than you were before. its like trying to get used to getting hit/abused/bullied. although those are more drastic, the end result is the same which is a BIG negative. definitely doesnt help trying to get used to having yourself act like you are second to everyone else.
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28 / M / Not in your closet
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Posted 5/17/08
my best friends do
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30 / M / Peliphines
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Posted 5/17/08
i dont talk alot or get attention... and i dont bother anyone listening to me...
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27 / F / *over here*
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Posted 5/17/08

nipponboy911 wrote:


snipp wrote:

I got your point there, and its really nice of you to say such things (say things that I NEED to hear, not things that I WANT to hear). there are a lot of people whom I listen to, and I really do listen to them intently, but its just kind of unfair when I just need a little bit of their time to listen, they don't really have to analyze the every detail my worries, so practically they just have to sit and shut up for a while and hear me speak up (it doesn't really take as much time that they take from me). Coz you know when I can't intercept my ideas, emotions, problems to other people most especially to my friends, parents etc. I feel like im detached to them, like the love and care is decreased and makes me wander away from them. It's not a good feeling, really, and I bet nobody wants to feel like this, but I said to myself if I get used to it, then maybe it would get better. Wrong. it only made me feel worse, now I' am battling with my own coldness that built up with this "communication" problem. but still i'am very much open to listen to other people even if im a little bit cold (maybe it gives me a little warmth whenever people approaches me, cause yeah, it does makes you feel important and needed) heh, there's a big gap between my parents and myself, coz they are very much old fashioned - old folks, and problems of the youth are nothing but a waste of time to them,,,so I better find more friends?ya think?


Well it can't be helped if theres a gap between you and your parents but if you're only saying that because of the whole "problems of youth are nothing but a waste to them" or parents being unable to understand the problems of today's teenagers then i think thats just wrong. Unless your parents are like neglectful drug addicts or something, which i know they're not, then they most definitely care about their own daughter's problems. and the whole misconception that parents cant understand kids is just wrong. unless you have problems dealing with an internet stalker or something of which they have no experience of dealing with, then most problems have are pretty basic. either love problems, human-relations problems such as your feeling detached to people and others that any regular person must have experienced in their lifetime. However, i must add that if your parents are really really religious then its best to avoid talking about any problems involving sexuality >.< But yes if you talk to your either one of your parents everyday about anything even dinner and you guys somehow still have fun talking about random useless crap instead of having that awkward "wtf do i say next" atmosphere, then most likely they will be willing and more than glad to talk to you about your problems.

And friends are not so easy. Like they say, quality and not quantity. Its easy to make friends but what you really need is a [i[real
friend who is willing to listen and care. there might be one among your friends that maybe you might not have yet talked to or an old friend who you were close to but lost in touch with as you transitioned from middle to high school. or if you really are seeking new friends you check out clubs you're in or interested cuz i find that people in interest clubs like the anime club (lol) or photography or drama and not something general or school related have a lot of how do i say it, passionate people i guess. and those are the types that will most likely become good friends with someone they have something in common and can be at ease with. They're not usual "oh whatevers"' type of people who will just brush aside a friend's problems. But yea you dont have to take me seriously about the whole club thing, just talking from experience and i guess you could call it theory at the same time haha.

goodness this is seriously long =_=

edit: oh and the whole "tried to get used it" idea is the worse thing to do in situations like this because it ends up backfiring. like you said, you tried to get used and you yourself became colder than you were before. its like trying to get used to getting hit/abused/bullied. although those are more drastic, the end result is the same which is a BIG negative. definitely doesnt help trying to get used to having yourself act like you are second to everyone else.

that's really long,,,

well i do have "a not so good relationship with my parents" because they're just obsessed in earning money (its for our own good I know,,,and we're in a bit of crisis right now so,,,)
,,, I really can't talk crap or useless thing to them,,,they wont pay attention at all,,,and they are very religious(goes to church almost everyday[?]),,,but its just disappointing that they are most of the time "one-sided",,,and very much hot headed,,,so how can their daughter approach them about her school problem if they're always like that,,,the atmosphere's so scary that it makes me wanna hide in the bathroom forever,,,
so i think that,,,parents should also be the one checking their child out,,,not just waiting for their child to go to them,,,because honestly I really find it hard to even get close to them,,,or to even start a simple conversation to them,,,

I don't have much friends,,,and among those people,,,I can only console to one person,,,
clubs? ehhh,,,we don't have such a thing here (well most public school in my place does not have any clubs and such),,,people say that i'm weird, odd,,,and even mysterious,,,so even if im not picky when it comes to people,,,I only make a few friends and aquintances,,,(its really hard being different huh???,,,people see you with different eyes o_O),,,

and I'm tired of trying to "get used to it",,,so instead of getting used to it,,,i'll just try to change my ways a bit,,,ehehhe,,,since the animes that I saw really boosted me up,,,its a good start to become a new person,,,!!!

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Posted 5/17/08

echo_psyche wrote:


snipp wrote:

people most of the times only do the hearing thing,,,they never really pay attention to what is being said (listening),,,sure a person who rants/talks about his worries don't want the other party to preach him of his own mistakes, but he would want that person to listen to all the details of his problem.

This is always my complain to my bestfriend, she always make comments even before I had finished my statement, so in my part it is like she's shielding herself to keep the topic to myself,,,in other words she doesn't want to listen at all,,,a disappointment,,,and in the end of our conversation, I would get the same line "go help yourself",,,as if I'm not helping myself at all,,,

well i do listen to people,,,but i only listen to important things,,,when I hear things that are not really important or necessary,,,I would disregard it,,,and focus on the story of the that person,,,and the time that I would make suggestions/comments etc. is the time when he's done with his statement,,,(its a sign of respect,,,and an indicator that I really listened to him),,,



I agree. For example: How can a person even give advice if they haven't listened to a persons entire issue or statement? If they are giving advice on a half-story then they may end up giving bad advice depending the outcome of the story (which they never finished listening to)


people who are like that,,,are just irritating,,,(they really just love listening to themselves/they only hear themselves),,,
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28 / F / it's all in your...
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Posted 5/17/08
People listen to me intently when I speak. I don't know if its because of my audible and loud volume or as my clinical instructor would say, my "enigmatic presence". Some of my peers even told me that my voice commands an aura of respect. I guess this is a great gift. =)
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Posted 5/17/08

LG135 wrote:


snipp wrote:

I really can't count on my parents when it comes to communication,,,cause they barely talk to me,,,and current problems that teens have doesn't really make sense to them,,,


Yeah, it's like my mum's solution for all of my social problems is basically "it's your fault" "pretend/try to be interested in what they like" and "stop being dramatic and get over it."

And I do. I really have tried. There are a lot of things my friends are interested in that I could care less about but I do my best to follow along and comment anyway. They know I'm always there to listen and help them when life throws them lemons, but the minute I try to turn it around and want to talk, they're all "...yeah. So anyway.." For God's sake, at least try to pretend like you give two shits about what I'm saying, thinking, feeling. Almost more than I hate being lied to, I can not tolerate being dismissed like I'm nothing, like I'm lower than everyone. Just, the nerve! >_<

And when I stop talking to them altogether my mum just assumes it's all my fault. Who cares if my friends don't listen to me when I speak? If I just "ignore it" think "things will get better" and continue to "listen and feed their egos" everything will be okay. Hell, she never listens to me either, so why do I bother?

Eh. It's a down day for me... I might just be feeling really paranoid or something.. maybe I should be blaming myself >.>


blaming yourself is not healthy,,,specially when you blame yourself for nothing,,yeah those kind of people are piece of shit,,,but why in hell are you still friends with them???,,,(maybe you can give a decent answer to this so,,,whatever),,,

maybe you should try to get the "right mood",,,before trying to speak to them,,,cause the atmosphere it self would lead the other party to eventually listen to you,,,but really it sucks when you have to wait for such moments that doesn't really come,,,

I talk to myself,,,and its really creepy,,,I know,,,but I'm the only one (maybe) who can listen to myself sincerely,,,
but I still long for that warm conversation that I think I never had in 17 years of my life,,,i know what you're feeling,,,

Posted 5/17/08
yes and if they dont i make sure that they damn well do pay attetion i absaloutelty detest being ignored
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29 / M / the 650
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Posted 5/17/08 , edited 5/17/08

snipp wrote:

that's really long,,,

well i do have "a not so good relationship with my parents" because they're just obsessed in earning money (its for our own good I know,,,and we're in a bit of crisis right now so,,,)
,,, I really can't talk crap or useless thing to them,,,they wont pay attention at all,,,and they are very religious(goes to church almost everyday[?]),,,but its just disappointing that they are most of the time "one-sided",,,and very much hot headed,,,so how can their daughter approach them about her school problem if they're always like that,,,the atmosphere's so scary that it makes me wanna hide in the bathroom forever,,,
so i think that,,,parents should also be the one checking their child out,,,not just waiting for their child to go to them,,,because honestly I really find it hard to even get close to them,,,or to even start a simple conversation to them,,,

I don't have much friends,,,and among those people,,,I can only console to one person,,,
clubs? ehhh,,,we don't have such a thing here (well most public school in my place does not have any clubs and such),,,people say that i'm weird, odd,,,and even mysterious,,,so even if im not picky when it comes to people,,,I only make a few friends and aquintances,,,(its really hard being different huh???,,,people see you with different eyes o_O),,,

and I'm tired of trying to "get used to it",,,so instead of getting used to it,,,i'll just try to change my ways a bit,,,ehehhe,,,since the animes that I saw really boosted me up,,,its a good start to become a new person,,,!!!


oh ok yes even i can see now that talking to your parents must not be an option haha. and im gonna take a wild guess and say that you are white. no reason for guessing just felt like it xP

well if you're giving off the mysterious vibe then either you dont talk that much hence making people even think you're weird or you just dont seem to talk about yourself too much. no matter how "different" you may be, as a long as you continually give an effort and talk to people all around you rather than be pushed back then they will talk to you. When i first moved to the States, i had a really bad accent and just totally different morals/cultural background. i was made fun of and teased on a daily basis but i still tried and eventually it payed off. you cant let being "different" drive you into a corner. Trying to "get used to it" is basically the corner you've been driven into. you definitely need to be more aggressive although not to the point that people might find you freakishly annoying >.< i guess assertive is the right wod rather than aggressive.

its good that anime has motivated you but i doubt that will last long haha. i've been motivated by anime as well but its not one of those events in your life that completely changes your point of view on life and completely motivates you. im not trying to de-motivate you or anything but while youre still fired up, you should try to do as much as you can. and plus, people cant change so easily so even if after you've tried to change and still you dont have someone you can truly rely on, dont give up and think its not working. im not gonna say its gonna be ok for sure but giving up definitely doesnt help

oh time to sleep now. its already 5:30 in the morning haha. i know you're still online so i shall reply to you tomorrow ^___^
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24 / M / Somewhere In My Mind
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Posted 5/17/08
I'm usually the crowd's attention but there are instances where I'm interrupt by some OMG DID YOU HEAR BLAH BLAH and well... i'm ignored.
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28 / F
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Posted 5/17/08
Most of the time. Yes. Haha. If not I will hit them and ask the same question.
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22 / M / 大迷宮
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Posted 5/17/08
They do.
I'm an actual Vocalist in some bands. of course they would.
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32 / M / East Coastin'
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Posted 5/17/08
It depends on the person and what I am trying to get them to do. But I can proudly say I've gotten a few people to change their outlook on certain things or do things differently because of what I've said.

and when i confide in others, i can see that most times, they sincerely do listen. and help out too. o: but really, it all depends on the person you're talking to. and how you say it matters a lot too.
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25 / F / lalala land
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Posted 5/17/08
They have to or else I'll hit them really hard. Hahaha!
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29 / M / Malaysia
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Posted 5/17/08
I think they do.... although not always xD
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