Post Reply Friend of Mine ~
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33 / F / Fairview, QC, PHI
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Posted 5/13/08
"Friend of Mine"

A fictional work inspired by the song of the same title; click on this link to listen to it through esnips.com (courtesy of Joan)


[center]I've known you for so long
You are a friend of mine
But is this all we'd ever be?[/center]



I still remember that day like it was just yesterday. I think I still have those bruises in me. It happened really fast, one minute I was trying to go over the swing like every other kid in the playground; the next minute I was flying and then the sound that still haunt me to this day – thud! Somebody came rushing to me while I hunched over, feeling my knees where it hurt the most, and then I heard the sweetest of words: “Are you okay?” you said. I cried then at that moment, something I hadn’t done for a very long time, even when my grandma died. “I better get some help,” you promised, handing out your handkerchief in which I knew you blew your nose in during recess, but I still held it close like it is the most precious thing in the world. You called our teacher Miss Meneses, who alert the school nurse, and then came to my rescue with gummy bears in hand. Miss Meneses was telling me things that it will be okay but my mind is not taking it in. Instead, I looked at you, like an angel, with a beam of the high sun shining around your head. Then I felt it – warmth and fuzziness; and I still feel that way, every time you looked at me intently. I then fell unconscious and later was told that you went with Miss Meneses to the clinic and was telling them what exactly happened.


The next few days I fell on an endless dream state and as soon as I woke up, I saw your get-well-soon card and a bag of gummy bears my mother told me that you brought the day before. How happy I felt then and thought of you as my angel. After a week, I went back to school, and you were there with such relief and happiness to see me. We never part ways since then. When one is in trouble the other jumps as well whatever the consequences. And you were such a troublemaker then. I still remember the pats on my butt every time you think of some wacky way to pass time. But we still held on: “partners in crime,” you said, with our pinkies crossing.


[center]I've loved you ever since
You are a friend of mine
And babe is this all we ever could be?
[/center]


Marnie told me that it will change soon and we entered middle school I thought it would be. You loved sports but I just love to watch you. I love books and you always fell asleep when we were in the library. We had different lunch periods and you started to hang out with those guys you play tennis or baseball with. And I hooked up with Marnie and Lois whenever we’re not together. But we still hang out after school; you even tried to make me feel that I belong with some of your friends, but like you said: “you’re too shy, Leigh.” So to make you feel your efforts are not in vain, I tried to socialize. Your friend Vince even asked me out for the Winter Dance but he can’t seem to stop his hands from touching me everywhere. He then ended up with a shiner when you walked over to us and punched him in the face. I was so grateful that you rescued me once again; same as before. But how I wished those were your hand clasping mine while somebody croons a sweet song. I wished that I was resting my head on your broad chest while we dance the night away. But you were going out with Sarah then and there were different girls at every dance afterwards.


Lois and Marnie knew all about how I feel and advised me to withdraw as soon as possible but I can’t seem to shy away from your smile whenever you walk towards my locker in the morning. And I also found myself missing your laugh and incredulous comments whenever I watch Adam Sandler movies with Lois and Marnie. They told me that I’ll hurt myself more and more when we keep being friends. But how could I when we still crossed our pinkies as a tradition.

[center]You tell me things I've never known
I shown you love you've never shown
But then again, when you cry
I'm always at your side
[/center]


Then our high school days came and along with it hormones. Ever body wonders whether we are a couple, and you always say that “we are special friends.” And I really thought it would always be that way. You bloomed into a handsome guy and I feel proud when I heard the cheerleaders exclaim you have a great you-know-what. In my way, I bloomed as well. Trying to make myself be more confident, I tried out for the drama club and got in. You get into any sport you want to play and I busied myself with rehearsals and even running for student body. But we still held on together amidst all of this. I remember mostly our nighttime chats via AiM or our midnight phone chats talking about our dreams and fears. I knew all about you than your girlfriends really know. Sometimes, they even come to me for advice since you became moody sometimes. I wonder why, since you never act that way when you’re with me.


One night in April, when the daffodils were at their sweetest scent, I heard stones knocking on my window and there you were a little inebriated from someone’s party I wasn’t invited to and asking if I wanted to go the cove. It was always our favorite spot. Then I learned it was time for the turtle eggs to hatch. I can’t believe I forgot! So went, I drove your truck over the beach cove, while listening to you mumble about you stupid friends but keeping my comments to myself. It was, I think, past six in the morning when I woke up. We missed the turtles since we slept as soon as we arrived. My head rests on your shoulders and my hand was on your chest feeling the beat of your heart and your breathing. I wanted to stay like this forever but I have to go back to reality since we still have school for the day. I nudged you awake, and you gave me that smile again, sheepishly this time. Then we went on our separate ways for the rest of the days: me, busy with the spring production I was directing and you with the upcoming tennis meets for the All-State Championships.


[center]You tell me 'bout the love you've had
I listen very eagerly
But deep inside you'll never see
This feeling of emptiness
It makes me feel sad
But then again I'm glad
[/center]


Then came our senior year and it felt like the end was very near. We still go on being friends: I came to watch your tennis matches and you watch me play Juliet for the fall production. But there is something different about you, you seem to be happy all the time, and have been spending most of your time with Breanne. Could it be different this time? My fears became a reality when you introduced me to her when your brother had his tenth birthday. As much as I want to hate her, I can’t, since she was perfect and was really nice. And I saw your face light up when you were with her and saw something I will never obtain. But in a way, I was happy to see you that way.


I had my interview from Yale the day before our prom night so I didn’t plan on attending even though my sister designed a dress for me. I then slept that night – a night one should never miss they say. I was so tired from the drive from the main city that I didn’t hear you knocking on my bedroom door. When I finally woke up, you were standing on my doorway dressed in your tuxedos and chiding me for not going to the prom. I had no energy to argue so I told you that I was tired and wanted to go back to sleep. You didn’t let on though; you promised my mother that you’ll persuade me to go to the prom instead. Luckily, you said, because Breanne is in Boston for her college interviews as well, you’ll be more than happy to escort me for the night. I have thirty minutes to get ready, you added, and I should be quick about it. But you stopped on your way out because you saw a picture of us, eating popsicles under the boardwalk when our parents took us in the Hamptons. “How could I be ready if you’re still here,” I said. And then you answered, I don’t have anything to hide from you so it is okay, but I threw my pillow to get you out. The first thing I thought was: do I really want to go with you just as friends and risk getting hurt again in the end? But you were there already, how can I refuse? Not with my mother downstairs spoiling you with doughy chocolate chip cookies you love. I kept my make-up simple because of the time. By the time I finished, you wolfed down a dozen of cookies already. When I entered the kitchen doorway I saw you stare at me like you never did before. My mother wanted to take a picture of us so we let her have her sentimental moment. After that you exclaimed to my mother that you felt like the luckiest guy on earth. So we took off and then came thirty minutes late but I was glad to arrive since there was an air of embarrassment inside you father’s Audi.


I had the most wonderful time that night and was happy not to miss it. You were crowned Prom King, something that I wasn’t surprised about. You managed to take hold of me most of the dances, not letting most guys to have a chance to dance with me. I so want to feel like we are a couple but at the back of my head I know it cannot be. This was proven later on in the ladies room when I knew I had too much tea. “I can’t believe Nathan brought that drama geek for the prom. What will Breanne say if she knew? I think she’s just a charity case ‘coz you know their parents are good friends. I bet Leigh’s mom begged Nathan’s mom to have her son take her daughter so she could feel normal. As if…” somebody said while I was inside a cubicle. I was oblivious to the fact that it was almost fifteen minutes since I left you by the punch table. I was battling tears for almost a minute but lost it totally and can’t seem to stop. That’s how I was when Lois found me. You asked her to look for me because it’s been a while. I then cried over her shoulder and pour my heart out. Lois was great about these things because she’ll just listen to you unlike Marnie who will let you know what’s on her mind definitely. And then you came, suddenly, not even minding you’re in the girl’s room. “Are you okay?” you asked, the same thing you said the first time we bonded. I told you I was just tired and wanted to go home. You were so apologetic about persuading me to go but I assured you it was okay. Lois explained that I just passed out in excuse to my absence. And whether you noticed I was crying or not, you didn’t mention anything about it on our way home.


The moment you stopped in front of our house, I wanted to run away from you but your hand held mine tightly and did not let go. You asked what’s wrong; is it the prom ? Did some guy accost me again on my way to the powder room? I kept shaking my head and was afraid to speak. “Look at me,” you said. At first I didn’t but you raise my face to yours and I was crying again. You told me you hate to see me cry and I should tell you at once what’s wrong. I was halfway on telling you what but I kept my ground. I just pulled my hand away and got off the car. You got off as well and then came rushing to me before I could get to the door. And then it happened. Your arms closed on me and embraced me dearly. You turned me around and raise my chin up so I could look at your chicory-colored eyes blearily. And then I felt your soft lips touched mine and I was in heaven. Feelings deep inside came rushing out at once as we kissed. Fireworks. Puccini. Everything they talked about a great kiss I felt it flowing through my veins. But something told me to stop. It is futile, it said. You’ll get hurt more, it echoed. So, I did. And then before he could say anything I hurried into the house. And then rest my back on the door. Excitement and guilt going through my mind; my heart beating rapidly and tears began to flow once again. What I have done?

[center]I've known you all my life
You are a friend of mine
I know this is how it's gonna be
I've loved you then and I love you still
You're a friend of mine
Now, I know friends are all we ever could be
[/center]


As much as possible I avoided you the rest of the term, it was not that hard, since you made all-state and I was busy with the yearbook. Then our graduation came, I delivered a speech about friendship we all shared during our high school days. I talked about our hopes for our futures and dreams we’ll weave. It was meant to be for our classmates but each and every thing I said, I always had you in my mind. It’s my way of explaining things ever since that prom night. You have your way of explaining too. You caught me by the arm after the ceremony and embraced and hugged me in front of everybody else, adding “I love you, Leigh, my girl,” in a whisper. I whispered “I love you, too, with all my heart.” And I felt how true it was since after all we are still friends, no matter what. When our moms prodded us to have our picture taken, we crossed our pinkies, for old time’s sake.


After that, farewells had been said and done. You went to Stanford for your tennis scholarships and then I went to Yale, excited to see Toni Morrison teach my fiction writing class. Some things may not be said nor explained between the two of us but I was glad we ended that way. I always wonder what ever happened to you and if you ever wondered about me. Will we see each other soon and pick up the friendship we left off? Or should our memories be as they were?


[center]I shown you love you've never shown
But then again, when you cry
I'm always at your side
You tell me 'bout the love you've had
I listen very eagerly
But deep inside you'll never see
This feeling of emptiness
It makes me feel sad
But then again
Then again
Then again I'm glad
[/center] http://www.esnips.com/doc/5c28ea96-6270-44d1-8918-9fae8f71e2ff/LEA-SALONGA-Joey-Albert---Friend-Of-Mine http://www.esnips.com/doc/5c28ea96-6270-44d1-8918-9fae8f71e2ff/LEA-SALONGA-Joey-Albert---Friend-Of-Mine www.esnips.com/doc/5c28ea96-6270-44d1-8918-9fae8f71e2ff/LEA-SALONGA-Joey-Albert---Friend-Of-Mine
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