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Thread for Parents.
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36 / F / piggieland - the...
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Posted 5/18/08
I have a son who doesn't listen to what I say, he's always late at school, he's messy, and he only has average grades at school. He used to do really well in school, but now he never studies at home. He's always on his computer. What should I do? I try talking to him but he always talks back to me. I always need to tell him things over and over because he still repeats the problem and he keeps screaming back at me to stop telling him things like that. It's frustating me a lot. Any parents have tips on dealing with this kind of kid?
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27 / M / Newfoundland , c...
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Posted 5/18/08

klaw2 wrote:

I have a son who doesn't listen to what I say, he's always late at school, he's messy, and he only has average grades at school. He used to do really well in school, but now he never studies at home. He's always on his computer. What should I do? I try talking to him but he always talks back to me. I always need to tell him things over and over because he still repeats the problem and he keeps screaming back at me to stop telling him things like that. It's frustating me a lot. Any parents have tips on dealing with this kind of kid?


what is the point of this thread? to ask for parenting advice? he is a kid so what if he doesnt listen to you? it happens so deal with it...
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36 / F / piggieland - the...
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Posted 5/18/08
I'm looking for parents opinion.
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27 / M / Newfoundland , c...
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Posted 5/18/08

klaw2 wrote:

I'm looking for parents opinion.


okay and i gave you one
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24 / M / Mammago Garage, Y...
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Posted 5/18/08
I don't think you're going to find many parents on CR, but there's probably tons of websites out there with parenting advice if you really need it.

If my mom ever wanted me to do something and I protested she would just beat my ass. She started doing it when I was really young, and it didn't take long for me to learn not to defy her. It might not work on your kid if he's too old though, but if he's under 10 then just slap him around any time he gets rebellious and after a few times he'll wise up.
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M / Sad and Beatiful...
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Posted 5/19/08
hm how old is ur son? maybe just teenager years ! i used to be like that from the age of 13-16 i was terrible i admit it ! but i totaly changed them i get serious d disziplined
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28 / F / Where the clowns...
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Posted 5/19/08 , edited 5/19/08
Yeah, age could help. I don't have any kids so I dunno how worthwhile any advice from me would be, but first thought that came to mind was to take away something he likes and tell him he needs to shape up and start listening and respecting you. Or maybe just sit down and talking to see how thing's are going. Who knows, maybe he just wants to sit down and talk without initiating it.


amafiahitman wrote:

what is the point of this thread? to ask for parenting advice? he is a kid so what if he doesnt listen to you? it happens so deal with it...


That's what she's trying to do - deal with it, with maybe some help from others. If you've got nothing helpful to add stop trolling and go somewhere else where you have use for.
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Posted 5/19/08 , edited 5/19/08

amafiahitman wrote:


klaw2 wrote:

I'm looking for parents opinion.


okay and i gave you one


That was rude...

I'm not a parent but...

It really depends how old he is ... talking in a soft, slow voice. You should try to stay away from anything that might sound negative. You should talk to him like he's your friend, and tell him you care about him. It might seem like hes not listening, but he is. Try to break the issues you want to speak to him with in small pieces. Try to keep it slow, but progressing. Stop the conversation if he starts to get irritated; you can just pick up on it later. Maybe he has some issues he doesn't want to talk about. I wouldn't know as I don't know you or your son personally, but it's a guess. It might also help to keep the internet off as much as possible. I always found fresh air helped me calm down.

Ice Cream might help too! XD

I'm not very good at this, but I hoped it helped. This is just what worked on me ...

-Kirby
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24 / M / TN
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Posted 5/20/08

klaw2 wrote:

I have a son who doesn't listen to what I say, he's always late at school, he's messy, and he only has average grades at school. He used to do really well in school, but now he never studies at home. He's always on his computer. What should I do? I try talking to him but he always talks back to me. I always need to tell him things over and over because he still repeats the problem and he keeps screaming back at me to stop telling him things like that. It's frustating me a lot. Any parents have tips on dealing with this kind of kid?


how old his he? im a parent of a 3 week year old baby (it was an accident but im happy about it) well if hez like over 10 i'd whoop his ass with a belt, tell him if he ever does it again you'll do that. ground him alot. you cant let him keep doing that. my sister was liek that and my parents ignored it and now shez worse than satan. and yes i do mean that
Posted 5/20/08 , edited 5/20/08
I am a parent of four teenagers who drive me up the wall and I know that teen boys certainly can be difficult to get close to with the hormone changes creating a new mood every 5 minutes. I don't repeat myself as I am wasting my energy and time as boys need their space and sometimes it helps to get a man's opinion when a teen boy gets moody. Guys regardless of age never open up to their mom's about issues that are bothering them as there really are some things moms don't understand so I will ask for help from friends of mine who are dads themselves.

I have 3 teen sons who get moody and shut me out and as a single mom I try to parent in a style similiar to how dads parent their sons which is by being available but not asking too many questions. I play video games my sons like,try to share some of the same interests as my sons,watch sports games on tv without complaining how dumb the game is (I keep those opinions to myself), I don't hug them or ask how they feel, I try to buddy them as a father would and I find that if they need to talk the questions will bubble to the surface without any nagging on my part. It is harder to parent boys as they are not comfortable with emotions so they need to talk to a adult friend who is not judgemental or emotional, someone who is openminded, and will be quiet as they are talking as they don't always want answers to their questions. It is hard on me to stifle the nagging but I can't wear my heart on my sleeve or cry around my sons if I am to continue building on the trust they have in me and they need me more as a parental authority/adult friend than a mom who puts bandaids on their knees. I have asked lots of young men in their twenties if they remember being teens and then ask for advice from them on how to best communicate with my sons so we can have open lines of communication.

Try playing basket ball or other sports with your son or try taking him and his friends to a hockey game-your treat of course ,ask him "hey, what's up?" instead of are you okay honey which only works with daughters, never cry in front of them, be relaxed and calm, watch anime and action movies with your son, listen as he talks about cars, work on developing a friendship with him, get advice from dads who have close bonds with their sons, and just hang in there as it will get better in time.


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27 / M / Bangalore,India
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Posted 5/20/08
i heard in the west u go to jail for beating your kids is that true?
beating to discipline is the one thing that will correct any problem or rebellion
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26 / F / Singapore Tanglin...
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Posted 5/20/08
not only kids do that ...
me and a friend that is 19 this year ....
is always late for school ...
but not messy ..

just don know why ... cant wake up .. no matter how many alarm clock i put ...
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24 / M / Mammago Garage, Y...
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Posted 5/20/08

h4x0rz wrote:

i heard in the west u go to jail for beating your kids is that true?
beating to discipline is the one thing that will correct any problem or rebellion


It depends on if your kid is smart enough to call the cops, or if some nosy fat/old lady who doesn't have any kids of her own sees you doing it in public and decides to be "responsible."
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29 / M / New York
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Posted 5/20/08 , edited 5/20/08

h4x0rz wrote:

beating to discipline is the one thing that will correct any problem or rebellion


That's... one perspective, though I guarantee that it doesn't "correct any problem or rebellion." There is no single answer to every problem here. Furthermore, that kind of behavioral punishment can be bad in a few ways, as it 1.) encourages violent behavior as a proper response to unfulfilled desires, 2.) can, when not implemented properly, teach submissiveness to authority when the ability to understand and question authority is equally/more important, and 3.) develops a parent-child relationship based on pleasure/pain. Does it always cause these things? No. But the alternatives do not always cause problems, either.

To the topic starter: for anyone to be of help to you, you need to supply more information, such as his age, your areas of conflict with him, what your goal is, and some of the circumstances surrounding his life. As I said before, there's no cure-all; every situation should be handled differently, so knowledge of your scenario is key.
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21 / F / UNITED KINGDOM!!....
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Posted 5/20/08
im not a parent so i have no absolutely no idea why did i go here!!

but dont you think as a parent most of teenagers do these now??i mean there's this point in our teenager's life where we find everything is boring at school and being outside just chilling!!

i mean it's not supposed to habit but dont we reserved a lil bit of that???


coz seeing as what you've put its like a cycle...it's gonna repeat all over again!!so i think its better if u leave him to do those kinda things then if he's still acts like that talk to him and calm him down when he started shouting!!
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