Post Reply Huge Fallout
Woman
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26 / F / Texas
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Posted 5/20/08
My frenemy and I have always stuck around eachother whether we like it or not but now she did something that I'm not sure I should forgive her for because I know she will do it again but even worse next time.

Okay, story is she's been super stressed out worrying over her own diseases or whatever. Shes a hypochondriac, which is a person who constantly believes he or she is or about to become ill. So I never listen to her and brush it off.
One of her latest is hypothermia I think and she's been going on and on about it for the past month and of course she's gotten herself stressed out over whats probably nothing at all.

My elder sister took us to Sea World the other day with her daughters to have fun since we don't get to see each other often and so while in the car I was teasing her as I normally do just to have fun, usually she'd brush it off and insult me right back but this time she threatened to hit me and so I called her on that thinking she wouldn't hit hard or anything like usual, but she went kinda nutty and made my arm bleed from her scratches.
She started screaming at my sister wanting to go home claiming she didn't want to come in the first place because she was apparently in pain which she was of course mentally causing on her own. My sister being a nurse in training already knew it was a load of crap and took her anyway but of course my frenemy was happy after she got to complain about her symptoms and didn't bother me for a few hours.

I trusted her not to lash out at me even though I knew she had a record. She's been sent to juvenile hall for pulling a girls hair out and threatening to kill her. So I know next time she's going to do way more than just leave a scratch on me.

For awhile I would avoid her even though she kept trying to get close to me and talk. Then she started yelling trying to start a fight. Next she ran away crying after she tried to make a promise not to hurt me again even though she admitted she couldn't keep it.
Later she came back yelling at my sister for money then ran off when she couldn't get any.

These fights with my sister continued and she couldn't win by trying to manipulate so she got a separate ride from a friend and when she got home she started calling every cell that was with us and even my mother.
When I returned from home I found I had a message from her.


"The other day I got in a fight with a good friend.....
I've had alot on my mind lately and i've been stressed
about lots of stuff. we've always been there for each other...
well sometimes you blew me off. grrrr. lol. but most of the time when i was was upset you were there for me...don't let our first big fight be the end of a good friendship i promise that nothing like this will ever happen again. you can even ask any of my good friends who know me well.. once i make a pact i keep it!! after all if you think about it this is the first time we've fought is'nt it Krista? Oh well.. If you don't want to be friends any more then fine but I'll miss you love,
Suki

P.S If you think I'm lying about not keeping my promises ask my bestest best friend lauren who will back me up! shes been my friend for forevers! and I've always kept my promises to her and we've always been good friends! I can give you a whole list of good friends to talk to! oh well bye bye"

Unfortunately that kinda pissed me off
So the outcome of the message I sent back is pretty harsh but the only way you can get anything through her head because as you can see in the message she posted, she tried to promise she wouldn't do it again even though earlier that day she said she knew she couldn't keep it anyway.

"Looks like you don't get it hmm? The "always been there for eachother" never happened in the first place. The "being good friends" was never there anyway and really, don't be naive! You CANNOT promise shit like that, are you an idiot? Promising you won't get pissed and hurt someone again when you've already done it, is not going to be kept at ALL.

I get pissed off when someone tries to makes promises like that, are you trying to be my ex or what?"

Sorry this post is really long But I don't have very good experience on dealing with this and need someone elses opionion just in case I really screwed up but can still mend it
I can't figure out why I'm so mad at her for this, looking back it doesn't seem like a big deal even if my entire trust in her as a frenemy is gone.
Woman
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24 / F / New England
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Posted 5/20/08
all i have to say is that this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all.
Social Hour Instructor
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24 / F / Behind you Bella >.>
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Posted 5/20/08
ya, just tell her that my pateince isn't enuf for me to hang out with u anyways and avoid her. let her make those promises and ignore it. answer when u need to, just ignore ANY relationship she wants to form. and she needs consoling for that ;_;
Woman
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26 / F / Texas
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Posted 5/20/08
Mhmm, the start of our relationship was screwed up in the first place and she herself has way too many problems to be a good friend.
At least others believe avoiding her is good
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26 / F / England
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Posted 5/22/08 , edited 5/22/08
Yeah... I don't think you should be around her. She's clearly dangerous.

Or you could always learn martial arts or something. And stay her friend.
And then be like, "Listen, bitch; I'm the daddy."
And then - hopefully - she becomes your underling and doesn't attack you again.
Woman
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26 / F / Texas
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Posted 5/24/08
Mm, she's dangerous alright. She once set her uncle on fire for laughing at her pain
She was my underling for awhile though and then she started going through other phases~ she's really weird like that
Woman
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20 / F / At my own imagina...
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Posted 5/26/08
I..don't know what to tell...you...sorry~
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35 / F / Canada
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Posted 6/5/08
Frist do you want to be her friend?
if you dont ... dont put up with it!
if you do then you need to tell her why your pissed ... if she doesnt try to change then shes not as invested in the friendship as you.
Woman
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23 / F / Rainy doom
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Posted 7/18/08
Don't hang out with her at all. she deserves to be given th cold shouldr. if she atacks u eithr call th police or knock th wind out of her in a remote location. got it?
Woman
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26 / F / Texas
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Posted 7/19/08
I do want to be her friend but I can't handle what might happen even though we've been through alot together, she knows very well why I was upset and has tried to apologize when I talked to her after my last post.
Simple fact is I know her well enough that she won't keep any kind of promise she makes and definitely will do it again for sure.

It's both of our faults that we had that fight because we had a weird relationship from the start; at first I hated her so I always insulted her and she would laugh at my insults because they're funny such as she would say "He smelled like a homo" and I would reply "Are you sure you weren't just smelling yourself?"

I just never stopped the habit of insulting her even when I became friends with her and she never stopped having fun being insulted which would obviously cause her to break down at some point from the repetitive attacks on her self esteem which is big talk for saying her feelings got hurt without realizing it herself

Currently I don't talk to her when she calls and talks to my sister/nieces, I've decided her life is bad enough without me and I know I won't stop insulting her, I don't wanna hurt her anymore even if not talking to me hurts her already, it's better for her.
Woman
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23 / F / Rainy doom
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Posted 7/19/08

KyrdasKitanishi1327 wrote:

I do want to be her friend but I can't handle what might happen even though we've been through alot together, she knows very well why I was upset and has tried to apologize when I talked to her after my last post.
Simple fact is I know her well enough that she won't keep any kind of promise she makes and definitely will do it again for sure.

It's both of our faults that we had that fight because we had a weird relationship from the start; at first I hated her so I always insulted her and she would laugh at my insults because they're funny such as she would say "He smelled like a homo" and I would reply "Are you sure you weren't just smelling yourself?"

I just never stopped the habit of insulting her even when I became friends with her and she never stopped having fun being insulted which would obviously cause her to break down at some point from the repetitive attacks on her self esteem which is big talk for saying her feelings got hurt without realizing it herself

Currently I don't talk to her when she calls and talks to my sister/nieces, I've decided her life is bad enough without me and I know I won't stop insulting her, I don't wanna hurt her anymore even if not talking to me hurts her already, it's better for her.


I was in that same position as u were. Aftr a fight with my friend i made up with her. aftr 2 weeks she betrayed me. so i figured out that we shouldnt be friends just enimies.

Woman
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Posted 7/20/08

sentimentalities wrote:

Yeah... I don't think you should be around her. She's clearly dangerous.

Or you could always learn martial arts or something. And stay her friend.
And then be like, "Listen, bitch; I'm the daddy."
And then - hopefully - she becomes your underling and doesn't attack you again.


LMAO, yup what she said....you are a smart girl sentimentalities...smart girl indeed....
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26 / F / England
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Posted 7/20/08

KyrdasKitanishi1327 wrote:

Mm, she's dangerous alright. She once set her uncle on fire for laughing at her pain
She was my underling for awhile though and then she started going through other phases~ she's really weird like that


Wow. I'm really not liking the sound of this girl.

(You shouldn't read the spoiler if you're sensitive to gross/gory stuff.)

I had a friend who's done some crazy shit like that. Actually, we've always class each other as cousin's because our dad's our close and we call eachother's dad's uncles. We're not related by blood.

And now I'm scared to use sewing machines...

But yeah, back on to the topic of your friend. Uh... I doubt it's because of the way your friendship started because most of mine started the same way. (Both giving and receiving insults)
But if you want to be friends with her so bad (which TBH I don't think is the wisest of choices) you should try being a little nicer to her, and compliment her. Actually just make the insults less frequent, because she may not like the sudden change in your behaviour and might think you're being weird or fake with her.
IDK what else to suggest, sorry.



Really? :3 Most people think I'm dumb D:
I don't think I'm dumb though... And I don't think I'm smart.
I'd just been watching a lot of old prison movies when I made that post.
Woman
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26 / F / Texas
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Posted 7/20/08

sentimentalities wrote:

But yeah, back on to the topic of your friend. Uh... I doubt it's because of the way your friendship started because most of mine started the same way. (Both giving and receiving insults)
But if you want to be friends with her so bad (which TBH I don't think is the wisest of choices) you should try being a little nicer to her, and compliment her. Actually just make the insults less frequent, because she may not like the sudden change in your behaviour and might think you're being weird or fake with her.
IDK what else to suggest, sorry.


I've gone over that possibility, however shes not a normal girl and I won't be listing why simply because it'll start to get a bit unbelievable even for me

I think what I'm doing now is just fine but it won't be for long; my sister has married someone in her family so she's technically my niece and she's also got a birthday coming up which means my sister will force me to go too.
I plan on being distant and polite..which won't go so well because last time I was distant [The day of the fight] she kept clinging onto me, actually hugging me from behind and intimate crap which was so creepy.
Maybe like you said, I should act a little like I normally did but be nicer which will be annoying..real annoying.
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