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Post Reply More than fellow Christains
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26 / F / Mare Serenitatis...
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Posted 5/23/08
Alright I need soem advice from fellow chriastians because the ones I come in contract with daily. I have my faults and it seems my faults keep getting the way mroe the an usually espeicalyl with my fellow youth group member.s Espeically the guys.
Here's the basics. there's 9 guys and 6 girls in high school youth group. 4 of the girls to school A and all the boys but 1 boy go to school B. And our school are revials. We got over that for the most part.But one guy in particular won't let it go and to top it off I think he's a player and he jsut rubs me the wrong way. If he wasn't a christian he seems like he would be the worst of the worst kind of guys. But he's not. He's a good guy. But he keeps playing games with one of my best friends. He teases her by bringing another attractive girls from hsi school to chruch and he'll just mess with her. So since he's made her cry I;m not too happy with hi mand he knows that but he doesn't know why. So we don't get a logn and we don't like each other. (He doesn't like me because I'm smart allick and opinioned.)
But the latest problem is I lost my temper and blew up at the PASTOR'S SON! And he blew back up at me.So I haven't been to chruch in aweek and it's killing me. So now I'm afriad to go back to chruch because I don't tihnk I could handle 2 guys mad at me. (these guys are friends too.) And I'm afraid of showing the worse of me to the whole youth group. (I hate looking bad in front of adults and crowds.) So what should I do? I need to go to chruch but I have this feeling I'll be kicked out of the chruch for picking fights.


Please help! SOS! I need some advice.
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24 / F / earth....soon, i'...
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Posted 5/23/08
hm, so the guy u don't like (the one who's messing w/ ur frnd) is the pastor's son?

hehe, just making it clear^^
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26 / F / Mare Serenitatis...
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Posted 5/23/08
no he's bf's with the pastors son. Sorry I don't want to use names. The heartbreakers as the girls refer to him has the nickname monkey. I don't the pastor's so nand he was teasing me and I've never been good with that so I lost my temper. Which I try not to do anymore but it's a losing battle.
But Monkey will bother me. I know he will he always does when I do something stupid. And I know the pastor's son (son) won't this go. So I don't want to team up on me. So basically I'm beign a chicken and not wanting to deal with it. But I ;m afriad they'll tell the youth pastor (yp) and he'll tell me to leave or ask me to take a break from the youth group.
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Posted 5/23/08
I think you should go back. If the boys team up on ya, go to the youth pastor or someone and tell them what's goin' on. Maybe ya could apologize to the pastor's son for blowin up at him? Even if it's not your fault. And if they keep botherin ya, ignore them or tell someone. Ya shouldn't feel like this at Church, of all places! Remember, God wants us to forgive everyone, no matter how much they hurt us. Try to move one. Don't let these boys ruin your time. I hope this helps!
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26 / F / Mare Serenitatis...
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Posted 5/23/08
thanks, I know I need to go back. I hate swallowing my pride, it's so thick. I hate telling adults. I perfer to handle it myself. Apologizing can't be that bad right. I'm sure he'll get yelled at for blowing up back. Besides more is except of him since he is the pastor's son. And they know I have a bad temper. Yeha I gues forgive and forgot is the best way. But it's not easy.
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F / The road less tra...
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Posted 5/23/08
Trust me, I know! I hate goin to people for help and stuff, and I rarely do it at all. I'd rather handle it myself, too. But still, once it'd done and over with things should be fine. It usually is.
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26 / F / Mare Serenitatis...
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Posted 5/23/08
yeah you're right.
Thanks, maybe it won't be that bad. But I still nervous about it. I know how these guys are. They hold grudges even if I don't. i mena Monkey hates me because I thoguht was he a snopb nearly 2 years ago. I hope Son isn't like that. His little brother isn't liek that. Why aren't the cute/sweet ones always younger? Sorry I had to put smething nice about one of the guys in my chruch
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Posted 5/23/08
The younger ones are always sweeter/cuter! They learn from the older ones mistakes!

Just pray about it. God can take your nervousness away and give ya the courage to do this. Through God all things are possible.
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Posted 5/23/08
WOW this true life drama. Well BloodlyRoses I know what it is like to have a bad temper. It has caused me more problems in my life than I want tell. It can rulen your life (trust me it almost cause a divors with me and my wife). I know I am tec. consered to be an adult but, I dont think like one. If you really getting stress by any thing, pray and Pray and if you feel you need to vent to some one. Vent to me I have a tread in the forum called Vent to Ratman.... I will lisen (I just dont spelle well)
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26 / F / Mare Serenitatis...
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Posted 5/23/08
Yes you're right. Thanks, I'll do that. Actually I think I was avoiding god on this subject. My temper is a BIG problem. It always has been. But he has been helpign me with me. I feel ashamed I lost control. I let myself down and him. What hurts most is EITHER of my bbfs (I have 2) backed me up. One said I was acting liek a 2 year old and ignored me the rest of the day (and week) and the other said she wasn't putting up with this and walked away. (smart thing) but it still hurt. So it didn't help the situtation. So I've barely talked to either of them since that afternoon. (I still feel so mad but I forgave them.)
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Posted 5/23/08

BloodlyRoses wrote:

Yes you're right. Thanks, I'll do that. Actually I think I was avoiding god on this subject. My temper is a BIG problem. It always has been. But he has been helpign me with me. I feel ashamed I lost control. I let myself down and him. What hurts most is EITHER of my bbfs (I have 2) backed me up. One said I was acting liek a 2 year old and ignored me the rest of the day (and week) and the other said she wasn't putting up with this and walked away. (smart thing) but it still hurt. So it didn't help the situtation. So I've barely talked to either of them since that afternoon. (I still feel so mad but I forgave them.)


Well as to you bbfs. I would pray and then talk to both. And NEVER leave God out of any thing. Now as to your temper. I got so tired of blowing up and saying sorry (In Japanese it is gomenasai) over and over. After praying about it. I went to my doctor. It seems I had a condision that made me on edge all the time (I mean 24/7). So I am on a med that controls this. Thank you Lord for leading me to a Doctor that under stood. Dont let your anger control your life. Pray about it and ask for help with it from God and others.


Ratman21 Your Oniisan in the Lord
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26 / F / Mare Serenitatis...
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Posted 5/23/08

Ratman21 wrote:

WOW this true life drama. Well BloodlyRoses I know what it is like to have a bad temper. It has caused me more problems in my life than I want tell. It can rulen your life (trust me it almost cause a divors with me and my wife). I know I am tec. consered to be an adult but, I dont think like one. If you really getting stress by any thing, pray and Pray and if you feel you need to vent to some one. Vent to me I have a tread in the forum called Vent to Ratman.... I will lisen (I just dont spelle well)


Thanks Ratman. I usually ask one of my friends if I can vent to them for a minute and thye say yes. But sometimes I wonder if thhey really wonder if they're listening. My temper does tend to affect my relationships. my last bf called itoff for good because he would getmad when I snapepd at him. I vented so much a bout that play. It stressed me so much. Graduration is comign up and wel... I;m more frasrated about that then anything. (long story) And being teased repeatly didn't help. I use to get picked on so teasing me is a quick and easy way for me to lose it. I've been praying, Maybe i should add in more pray time. I usually pray for others. I've improven a lot in the 2 years I've been with christ,....but I;m not where I want to be.


So even christian adults lose their temper? Wow.
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26 / F / Mare Serenitatis...
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Posted 5/23/08

Ratman21 wrote:


BloodlyRoses wrote:

Yes you're right. Thanks, I'll do that. Actually I think I was avoiding god on this subject. My temper is a BIG problem. It always has been. But he has been helpign me with me. I feel ashamed I lost control. I let myself down and him. What hurts most is EITHER of my bbfs (I have 2) backed me up. One said I was acting liek a 2 year old and ignored me the rest of the day (and week) and the other said she wasn't putting up with this and walked away. (smart thing) but it still hurt. So it didn't help the situtation. So I've barely talked to either of them since that afternoon. (I still feel so mad but I forgave them.)


Well as to you bbfs. I would pray and then talk to both. And NEVER leave God out of any thing. Now as to your temper. I got so tired of blowing up and saying sorry (In Japanese it is gomenasai) over and over. After praying about it. I went to my doctor. It seems I had a condision that made me on edge all the time (I mean 24/7). So I am on a med that controls this. Thank you Lord for leading me to a Doctor that under stood. Dont let your anger control your life. Pray about it and ask for help with it from God and others.


Ratman21 Your Oniisan in the Lord


I've talked to them....but not about how they hurt me. My friends are the touchy feely kind. I kow I'm always wanted at my chruch by the girls and old folks at least. ^.^; I hate dissapointing people, god and myself espeically. Talkign to you guys makes me feel like I'm talking to god....sorta it seems to connect better if i talk to others first or while talking to god. He's is most important but I liek otheres thoughts and opinions. Beside I like knowing I;m nto the only one out there with this problem. I took japanese for three years actually. But I say sorry sooo many things even for things that aren't my fualt so when it is my fault on soemthing big like this. I hate saying sorry. I hate feleing lower than others. I like doiminace. And with some the people I knwo they will brag if you apologize for fightign and they didn't have to. *sigh* I hate this soemtimes. All my stupid fualts and complexs make it so hard to be a christian sometimes. I know Christ wants whats best for me but it's sooo complex.
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64 / M / FL. But, I (May...
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Posted 5/23/08
No not that complex.. Well life is complex, so take every thing to God. Oh BTW boys of your age group are not as medaly maure as girls. Girls grow up in minde and body before the boys. Just treat them as if they were well 4 or 5 years younger and above all pray.
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64 / M / FL. But, I (May...
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Posted 5/23/08
Oh and the heart breaker is going to end up alone. I know you girls the word will spread on him and after high school most person boy or girl. Will be looking for some one that they can rely on. Not a menal kid.
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