marriage

From book 14, near the end.

That night, Shuurei had a feeling that something would happen.

After putting all the information she had gathered into a report, she turned it into Ki Kouki. She had finished all of the work she needed to do. That’s why she had thought it would definitely be today.

After thinking a bit, she went alone to the archives. It felt empty, without her father.

…..It was Ryuuki’s favorite place.

The place where she and Ryuuki had met for the first time, while seeing the sakura.
There had always seemed to be someone there at the archives, but today they were buried in a silent darkness.

When Shuurei put a single candle into the lamp, there was a sound.
Shuurei looked back on the last two years, which now seemed like the distant past.

When they had both pretended not to know who each other were, Ryuuki had always appeared from within these shelves.

The Ryuuki of that time, who had pretended that he knew nothing about the work of the king, no longer existed.

When she turned around, Shuurei smiled at Ryuuki, who was standing half in the darkness.

For a long, long time, Ryuuki gazed at Shuurei, while just standing there. Finally, he opened his mouth. His voice was hoarse.

“Shuurei….”
“What?”
“…Do you remember that time limit I set in the boat?”
“I remember. ‘Until the sakura bloom’”

That time wasn’t short, but it certainly was not long.
A time characteristic of them, she had thought.

In a voice smaller than the silence, in a voice as small as the sound of a butterfly’s wings, Ryuuki then said:
“Please forget that. I wish for you to enter the Inner Palace as the Kou clan princess of the direct line.”

He did not say Shuurei’s name. It was completely as ‘the Kou clan princess of the direct line.’

He was honest, she thought. That was like Ryuuki.

And so, Shuurei would also speak honestly.

“I have some conditions.”
“What are they?”
“Please forget about the monogamy system. Promise to promote Jyuusan-hime from Chief Lady-in-waiting to consort. I’ll leave when you do that to you. It doesn’t matter when exactly.”

Before Ryuuki could say something, Shuurei quickly continued, while slightly smiling.

“There is something I haven’t said to you. I….cannot have your child. That’s the way my body is, Dr. You said.”

Ryuuki swallowed.

“So, I can’t bear you an heir. You can’t have me as your only consort. So please, promise me you will promote Jyuusan-hime. Then, the ‘Kou princess of the direct line’ will quit being an official, and enter your Inner Palace.

A silence far longer than the previous one melted into the darkness.

Shuurei understood well that Ryuuki had no choice.

Ryuuki had said in the boat that he could not be king for Shuurei’s sake. At that time, it had had another meaning, but truly, those words had said it all. He could not be king for Shuurei’s sake.

At the time, Shuurei had thought that that was okay.

Therefore, it did not bother Shuurei that he was not choosing Shuurei alone. If the fact that Shuurei was an official would be a problem for Ryuuki, she would retire. As long as Ryuuki was king, that would be okay. In whatever form, she would serve him. Until the end, she would be by his side. For Shuurei, Ryuuki was the only king.
As if he had heard that voice, Ryuuki’s lips faintly opened.

“…..I see. I… promise.”

Shuurei smiled.

“I will become your consort. Don’t cry. An official is becoming a consort, that’s all.”

Ryuuki clutched Shuurei to him, and soundlessly wept.
In the end, Ryuuki could only steal important things from Shuurei.
He had made her resign, asked for the Kou princess and not Shuurei, couldn’t promise that she would be the only one…..and he had come down to even making her confess something which she had remained silent about.

Not like this.
When he made the promise to wait until the sakura blossomed, he had definitely not meant like this.

“…..I’m sorry….”
“Don’t apologize, it’s okay.”
“………..”
“Don’t cry.”

Shuurei embraced Ryuuki, who was sobbing bitterly.
She knew who was in the most difficult place now. Even so, Ryuuki was trying to remain there, not running away. In comparison, what Shuurei was throwing away did not compare.

“Ryuuki, you wrote all of the Kou officials a letter.”

Ryuuki, surprised, look down on Shuurei. Shuurei smiled, while wiping away his tears. She recalled the notes that he had send the Kou officials.

“‘I don’t want to fire you, so come back to court’, they read.”

In the letters that Ryuuki had sent to each and every one of them, he had written in detail about their history and work, and that because they were important to the court, he wished that they would return.

There the reason for that was definitely not ‘because they were Kou officials.’
How much time must that have taken?

“….I just didn’t want to fire them.”
“Why was that?”
“The Kou officials we have known were… Kouyuu and Shouka…and Shuurei. So we have always thought of “Kou officials” as passionate about their work, serious, warm-hearted, always thinking of others. Without knowing anything, how could we say that all the Kou officials were unsuitable? We didn’t want to fire every single one of them while not even knowing what kind of work they were doing. The cause of their actions was, at bottom, their mistrust of us. We can’t apologize to them, but we wanted to show my sincerity to the utmost. …….. We wanted their confidence.”

That’s why as long as time allowed, he had researched them one by one, and written a letter. He wanted them to stay.
Shuurei could say nothing. So he had seen her, her father, and Kouyuu, as that valuable.

“But in the end…it was all useless.”
“…..It wasn’t useless.”
“Eh?”
“It wasn’t a waste. There were still some who said they wanted to stay officials, for you.”

They regretted how they had made things even harder for the king. This time, they wanted to return, not for the Kou clan, but for the king, to become his strength.
So therefore, it was not at all a waste of time. Certainly, some new seeds had sprouted.

I want this person to be king, Shuurei had thought, from the bottom of her heart.
And if there was something she could do for that….

“Finally, I’m going to Kou Province. When I get there, I’ll drag something out of father and the others.”

Shuurei let go of Ryuuki, and smiled.

“That will be the last thing I can do for you as an official. I’ll return right after. —-Then, I’ll resign, and enter the Inner Palace.”