Post Reply Poem Alas one cold winter.
1940 cr points
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39 / F / Scotland
Posted 5/29/08
Alas One Cold Winter.

My lives call out to you.
The love that i have felt,
has long since dwindled away.
My time has come upon this new day.
My blood flows freely through my veins.
For my heart is broken.
Like a sword in two.
The hilt and the blade.
For you need both for it to function.
Alas i write upon these walls.
My heart desires,
my life long failures.
The dreams i have never become.
I believe,
for i have seen,
with my own eyes.
The footprints of a giant.
The path that i have lead.
Following in the footprints of the giants.
With me walked another.
And with him a her.
As always one followed each other.
We all win.
Though the light is dimming.
The pain subsiding enough to feel the air,
blowing just so gently upon my face.
My naked body,
my once and only fragile mind,
now in pieces,
upon this grave.
This last testament of my faith.
The barrier between my freedom and my fame.

hope you like it.
3640 cr points
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F / Canada
Posted 6/1/08
An awesome poem, lovely imagery and specific details...something all poems should have but not all do. My criticism is the flow...your breaks aren't really in the best places, but besides that, i think you did a lovely job~ ^^
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