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Friends that choose their bf/gf over their best friends.
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23 / M / Canada :)
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Posted 6/1/08 , edited 6/1/08
Title says all.. is it ok for that? I have a friend that has been my best friend for 2 years.. and recently she got a boyfriend, before I was able to tell her everything and was completely comfortable around her. Now that she got a boyfriend she chooses him over all her friends now, even ditches her friends to hang out with him.. and at lunch she would ask you to sit with her and her boyfriend and then her back would be towards you the whole time.. and the other weird thing is.. i'm best friends with her boyfriend too.. but it's funny, i like how you could be best friends with someone and talk to them everyday, and now you could walk by them like complete strangers. What do you guys think? Is it really right for your best friend to choose their boyfriend or girlfriend over you?
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34 / F
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Posted 6/1/08
you have to take your friends feelings into consideration and be understanding of the fact that she is trying to focus all of her attention into making a new relationship work . most relationships dont work, so how bout wait a few months and then when they break up you can still be there, still be her friend, and she will be very grateful .

*shrugs* it is very possible that if you had a girlfriend your new found infatuation would cause you to inadvertently ignore your friends as well . its called puppy love .
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25 / M / ♦♣♠♥♦♣♠♥♦♣♠♥♦♣♠♥
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Posted 6/1/08
Yes.. a buddy of mine fell head over heels to this girl... they're getting married this year...
at the age of 18...

i was telling him it was a VERY bad idea..i mean THE girls father is a colonel in the u.s army
he said the it's ok because her father is based outside the country...
(i said to myself this guy's crazy it's not my fault anyway xD)

bottom line is just always try to be a good friend... if he/she begged to differ then screw your friend hahhaa
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31 / M / U.S. illinois
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Posted 6/1/08
um... ur 19... this isnt 7th grade... imagine having a girlfriend that talks to her best GUY FRIEND more than you... especially THAT guy being YOUR best friend... what do you thinke would go thru his head... OBVIOUSLY this girl isnt a retard and actually acts like an adult and puts the person she loves over her friends like and human being would do... she puts her boyfriend beforw you simply because HE is her boyfriend and YOU arent....

yes its tough being in the "friends zone" but lets face the facts... if she is that important to you than you should have took the initiative...... HE beat YOU to it... simple as that......... this situation reminds me of MANY MANY MANY animes where a guys friend beats him to the girl he likes...... LOL

this isnt a game... its LIFE.....the reason she is doing that to you is because she now has a boyfriend and he has become the most importasnt person to her.... sad to say but now you are only second best... DEAL WITH IT......

if you wanted to be #1 in her book than you should have dated her 1st

and to your question "is it really right for friends to choose their boyfriend or girlfriend over their best friends?"

yes i believe it is... because a loved one should always come 1st... ur best friends are ur best friends for a reason.. because they support you no matter what as a friend....

i for one would put the woman i love before anyone no matter what....
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23 / M / Canada :)
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Posted 6/1/08

supermanw3 wrote:

um... ur 19... this isnt 7th grade... imagine having a girlfriend that talks to her best GUY FRIEND more than you... especially THAT guy being YOUR best friend... what do you thinke would go thru his head... OBVIOUSLY this girl isnt a retard and actually acts like an adult and puts the person she loves over her friends like and human being would do... she puts her boyfriend beforw you simply because HE is her boyfriend and YOU arent....

yes its tough being in the "friends zone" but lets face the facts... if she is that important to you than you should have took the initiative...... HE beat YOU to it... simple as that......... this situation reminds me of MANY MANY MANY animes where a guys friend beats him to the girl he likes...... LOL

this isnt a game... its LIFE.....the reason she is doing that to you is because she now has a boyfriend and he has become the most importasnt person to her.... sad to say but now you are only second best... DEAL WITH IT......

if you wanted to be #1 in her book than you should have dated her 1st

and to your question "is it really right for friends to choose their boyfriend or girlfriend over their best friends?"

yes i believe it is... because a loved one should always come 1st... ur best friends are ur best friends for a reason.. because they support you no matter what as a friend....

i for one would put the woman i love before anyone no matter what....


i'm 19? i'm 14 =S .. we're only in 9th grade. Relationships shouldn't even be that important in this grade. She acts like it's going to last forever.

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26 / M / in a parallel uni...
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Posted 6/1/08
I guess not but it's very rude to toss you aside like an old toy that was being replaced that's just mean
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31 / M / U.S. illinois
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Posted 6/1/08

viet2fly wrote:


supermanw3 wrote:

um... ur 19... this isnt 7th grade... imagine having a girlfriend that talks to her best GUY FRIEND more than you... especially THAT guy being YOUR best friend... what do you thinke would go thru his head... OBVIOUSLY this girl isnt a retard and actually acts like an adult and puts the person she loves over her friends like and human being would do... she puts her boyfriend beforw you simply because HE is her boyfriend and YOU arent....

yes its tough being in the "friends zone" but lets face the facts... if she is that important to you than you should have took the initiative...... HE beat YOU to it... simple as that......... this situation reminds me of MANY MANY MANY animes where a guys friend beats him to the girl he likes...... LOL

this isnt a game... its LIFE.....the reason she is doing that to you is because she now has a boyfriend and he has become the most importasnt person to her.... sad to say but now you are only second best... DEAL WITH IT......

if you wanted to be #1 in her book than you should have dated her 1st

and to your question "is it really right for friends to choose their boyfriend or girlfriend over their best friends?"

yes i believe it is... because a loved one should always come 1st... ur best friends are ur best friends for a reason.. because they support you no matter what as a friend....

i for one would put the woman i love before anyone no matter what....


i'm 19? i'm 14 =S .. we're only in 9th grade. Relationships shouldn't even be that important in this grade. She acts like it's going to last forever.



lol sry about that.. im a lil intoxicated and saw 19 instead of 15....... no hard feelings man.... but still what i say is true..... if she is that important to you that say something to her... tell her how u feel or something...... or talk to ur guy friend.... just do something.. insteqad of asking 4 advice,,,,
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23 / M / Canada :)
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Posted 6/1/08

supermanw3 wrote:


viet2fly wrote:


supermanw3 wrote:

um... ur 19... this isnt 7th grade... imagine having a girlfriend that talks to her best GUY FRIEND more than you... especially THAT guy being YOUR best friend... what do you thinke would go thru his head... OBVIOUSLY this girl isnt a retard and actually acts like an adult and puts the person she loves over her friends like and human being would do... she puts her boyfriend beforw you simply because HE is her boyfriend and YOU arent....

yes its tough being in the "friends zone" but lets face the facts... if she is that important to you than you should have took the initiative...... HE beat YOU to it... simple as that......... this situation reminds me of MANY MANY MANY animes where a guys friend beats him to the girl he likes...... LOL

this isnt a game... its LIFE.....the reason she is doing that to you is because she now has a boyfriend and he has become the most importasnt person to her.... sad to say but now you are only second best... DEAL WITH IT......

if you wanted to be #1 in her book than you should have dated her 1st

and to your question "is it really right for friends to choose their boyfriend or girlfriend over their best friends?"

yes i believe it is... because a loved one should always come 1st... ur best friends are ur best friends for a reason.. because they support you no matter what as a friend....

i for one would put the woman i love before anyone no matter what....


i'm 19? i'm 14 =S .. we're only in 9th grade. Relationships shouldn't even be that important in this grade. She acts like it's going to last forever.



lol sry about that.. im a lil intoxicated and saw 19 instead of 15....... no hard feelings man.... but still what i say is true..... if she is that important to you that say something to her... tell her how u feel or something...... or talk to ur guy friend.... just do something.. insteqad of asking 4 advice,,,,


do you think i haven't tried that? i've talked to her about 4 times. every single time she starts crying and says "I'm sorry, i won't ever do it again" and guess what? she does it even worse. and on new years, she used me as a place to "Crash" for her and her boyfriend to have some make out session. Because they had no other house to go to, and if they didn't go to mine they wouldn't be allowed to hang out on new years. And, last time we hung out, she brought her boyfriend obviously, and then they were making out in my basement for 3 hours while I was upstairs on the computer. Yeah, ditched right? Should I still stay by her side? even though she does all this to me.
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31 / M / U.S. illinois
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Posted 6/1/08

viet2fly wrote:
do you think i haven't tried that? i've talked to her about 4 times. every single time she starts crying and says "I'm sorry, i won't ever do it again" and guess what? she does it even worse. and on new years, she used me as a place to "Crash" for her and her boyfriend to have some make out session. Because they had no other house to go to, and if they didn't go to mine they wouldn't be allowed to hang out on new years. And, last time we hung out, she brought her boyfriend obviously, and then they were making out in my basement for 3 hours while I was upstairs on the computer. Yeah, ditched right? Should I still stay by her side? even though she does all this to me.


sounds like a one sided love/friendship... obviously she is more important to you than you are to her.... i would say give up on her... yea thats hard to do trust me i know...girls like that arent worth it... they just go with whit the best guy in front of their eyes... and bounce between guys like that 4ever..... but theres always a bigger fish.....

she obviously isnt that great a friend if she is even ignoring you... is that what you really call a friend??!

ur 15... you have ur whole lif ahead of you.... look for a girl that puts you before her random selection of guys that gives her attention 1st......
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23 / M / Canada :)
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Posted 6/1/08

supermanw3 wrote:


viet2fly wrote:
do you think i haven't tried that? i've talked to her about 4 times. every single time she starts crying and says "I'm sorry, i won't ever do it again" and guess what? she does it even worse. and on new years, she used me as a place to "Crash" for her and her boyfriend to have some make out session. Because they had no other house to go to, and if they didn't go to mine they wouldn't be allowed to hang out on new years. And, last time we hung out, she brought her boyfriend obviously, and then they were making out in my basement for 3 hours while I was upstairs on the computer. Yeah, ditched right? Should I still stay by her side? even though she does all this to me.


sounds like a one sided love/friendship... obviously she is more important to you than you are to her.... i would say give up on her... yea thats hard to do trust me i know...girls like that arent worth it... they just go with whit the best guy in front of their eyes... and bounce between guys like that 4ever..... but theres always a bigger fish.....

she obviously isnt that great a friend if she is even ignoring you... is that what you really call a friend??!

ur 15... you have ur whole lif ahead of you.... look for a girl that puts you before her random selection of guys that gives her attention 1st......


Yeah .. i'll take your advice, she isn't worth it at all. Until she decides to act like a true friend, i'm not wasting anymore time with her. thanks xD

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21 / F
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Posted 6/1/08
i've had a a problem similar to my nest friend choosing her bf over me and her other friends. We can't really do anything about it cuz they'll be like I'm sorry I promise i'll never do tht again or something and if they do do tht again they'll be saying I'm sorry even more and we'll forgive them and say it's okay don't worry about it. It's too hard for them to let their bf/gf go. It's extremely hard having a best friend tht has a bf especially one tht changes ur best friend completely. I've never seen any of my best friends change to an extreme personally but I know there r people like tht out there. Its like ur best friend is in a gang and he/she's bf/gf is the rest of the gang. One way in no way out(Meaning: U either stay with them or they'll break up with u)
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26 / F / Colorado
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Posted 6/1/08
Honestly, even if you deny it, you're experiencing jealousy. And that's completely normal.
Don't say that she's not worth it, or whatever, the fact that she's your best friend for two years.... and vice versa (-__-")
It will pass. I mean they have a newly formed relationship, put yourself in her place, of course you'll be all giddy with your new beau that you sometimes forget to hang out with your friends. If it really bothers you that much, talk to your friend about her dividing her time with her boyfriend and her friends. If she doens't do anything after you talking to her, then put your distance in between your friendship then. Don't just stop talking to her. We all know how that would go. WAR!

You're young. She's young. That's teenage life. Don't take things too seriously.(^__^)
Posted 6/1/08
Ugh, I hate when people forget about their friends and only care about their boyfriend or girlfriend or people they have a crush on that they aren't even dating. I've had a good friend do that to me before, but never a best friend because, well, we're better friends than that. It'll pass and, if she has any brain cells whatsoever, she'll see that she was wrong for neglecting you. Forget about her for now and have fun with other friends but you do need to straighten her out if she goes too far and starts getting way too obsessive about her relationship because that's creepy.
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22 / F / london/kent, Engl...
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Posted 6/1/08 , edited 6/1/08
something similair happened to me one of my best friends suddenly ditched me cos she wanted to hang out with the guy she fancied she told me and my friends we were too boring for her then when the boy had enough of her she came crying to us and my friends welcomed her with open arms but i couldnt be bothered to waste my breath talking to her. Then last week she ditched us again cos she found another guy she liked.
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27 / M / Bangalore,India
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Posted 6/1/08
if any of my friendz gets a girl,they have to be prepared for a barrage of nicknames and how we reveal embarassing secrets :P
all my friendz now keep their g/fs secret from the rest of us
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