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Creating a Christ-oriented anime
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Posted 7/22/08
lol i like ur corrections better ratman, mind if i use them? ya the way i spoke the first time was that the bandits had uniforms. and the felled by 2, lol it adds to the situation.
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Posted 7/25/08
the language will change to that of more of an old English tone after i get it in plain English, so for the time being my work is in proper plain English. The next installment of the series has to deal with a character I based off my brother, he is nicknamed martyr and is a mercenary, i have his back story on how he met Amos if i haven't posted that yet as well, but this scene depicts how he comes to be apart of the team.
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Posted 7/25/08
Ok Ok, sorry about the delay, the setting, the village aflame by the king, and Amos' forces struggling to fight, and save the village, the theme, how to be both protector and attack at the same time, retreat and lose the battle, and try to save the village, or fight and hopefully fend off the aggressors in an attempt to free the people from oppression in the first place anddddd scene:

Conversation while fighting:

Mikelle: "what are we going to do about the village? If we continue advancing people might die!"

Amos: "If we stop advancing we will die in our attempt to flee."

Mikelle:" How did we end up in this lose lose battle?

Amos: "I don't know, all we can do is trust in Him, somehow, everything will work out... it has to"

Mikellle: "What if we lose, the people won't believe in us if we lose."

Amos: "People won't forgive us for letting a village burn to the ground either"

Fighting lasts hours upon hours with finnally the kings forces withdrawing...

Nail: "We lost..."

Elley: "What more could they want we had to for the bigger picture, it was unavoidable"

Amos: "Not so, we could of won on both sides we could of done both"

(commotion outside main tent)

Autimus: "Who are all these people?"

Martyr:"That would be the villagers"

Autimus: "but how, we saw the village burn"

Martyr: "who said their was people in the houses?"

Autimus: "so you did all this to blackmail us?"

Martyr, side steps the question and walks up to Amos.

Martyr: "I hope you don't mind but since you let the peoples homes be destroyed i thought they could crash here with you guys"

Amos: "Not at all, not at all..."

Martyr: "When you came to me and asked me to help, what made you think I would help, or even care"

Amos: "That's the beauty of it, I didn't, so what is your price, name anything within reason"

Martyr: "How about a paying job"

Amos: "I think we can work out some arrangement"

(Martyr joins the rebel forces)
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Posted 7/25/08
Now I am questioning rather or not I will use the characters in the dialogue, but I can always change them out, I want it to flow, everyone in the scene should feel that they belong, and that they should need to talk, but that goes back to each characters personality, and I'm not sure on their names let alone their personality. I did like Nail's part however, Nail is the strong and stern type, the kind of person with one word answers and only talks when he feels like it.
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Posted 7/26/08

cryolyger wrote:

Now I am questioning rather or not I will use the characters in the dialogue, but I can always change them out, I want it to flow, everyone in the scene should feel that they belong, and that they should need to talk, but that goes back to each characters personality, and I'm not sure on their names let alone their personality. I did like Nail's part however, Nail is the strong and stern type, the kind of person with one word answers and only talks when he feels like it.


Somthing about flow of the dialogue brothers me...I dont know yet. Oh YTW, old english would not be type your looking for. Really I had a prof. in college that spoke midal english and it sound like greman or nors. What your looking for is old world type of english. Somthing I may be able to help with. I hope. Now varlet set thi self to work on more dialogue...
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Posted 7/26/08
the dialouge did seem a little... broken up. It's hard to say. But it is a good scene. Myabe it's because you're unsure of your chars. Char building is a BIG part of a book. Knowing who would do and who woudl say want. As for Nail I believe yo ushould keep him in.
Good scene though. Hmm... maybe you should have more of internal conflict with a chars thinking. Myabe they should worry about dying or about not being able to follow though with God's word. ( winning the battle and bringing the villagers to Christ) Just a few ideas.
Oh! And not chars you need to send me the lsit of girls chars their desrcipts and who's important. I can do the personalities myself.
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Posted 7/26/08

cryolyger wrote:

For example the bio's of the characters, I wish to have the characters come alive, every action taken can be accounted for, I could tell you every move every nook and cranny about how they would react why and the underlining reasons for them to join in such a cause, one such character

Character Chronicles-

Mikelle- "devotion" (this is the theme of what I wanted the character to portray)
Gender-Female (self explanatory)
Age-19 (i cant relate to people alot younger or older than I am, so my characters age limits are restrained)
height-5'6"-5'7" (not too tall but tall enough to be a threat lol)
weight-120 (shes a fighter and she eats, she is tough, she eats meat lol)
Attire- Leather vest, rags, brown (peasant gear she can't wear armor because it would slow her down and she needs to be quick and strong)
Class- Brawler (now I am skeptical on this, I put down class, so as to how they would fight how they would act in a battle)
Hair style-short, messy spiked (I have it based loosely on a girl with a similar appearance)
Hair color-orange/brown (leaning towards orange, however I wanted to stay away from fantasy colors blues pinks that sort of thing, however, if you can justify why they have that hair color we can work something out)
eye color- green (are you starting to visualize her? think origin or birth of that in germany or somewhere along those lines)
weapon-fists or daggers (going back to brawler, this is not to limit the character in having more than a set amount of usable weapons more over a guideline of what they specialize in, they could of grew up in an army base and can use a wide variety, but excell at dual swords kind of a thing)
allegiance-rebels (temporary category system pretty much allegiance is hero or villain, however I do have a character who is a merc and one who is undecided so it is based on preference as well as how they would fit)
details- likes amos, amos accepted her in, when her family was burned in their house, during a village raid to collect tribute to the king. Amos took her into his group not as a fighter but as a refugee. (little back story, didnt want too much details as I am unsure of exactly this is where they meet but I do like the idea of him saving at least one member of a village up in flames)
Accesories-cross necklace given to her by her mother (significance, shes human so she has a valuable that reminds her of her lost loved one, in this case her mom, now they were not rich folk, however the mom had this cross and it was precious to her, and now it is a momento of mikelle)



No offense but this was hard to read so I thought I would organize it a bit better. I hope you don't mind.
Name: Mikelle
Gender: Female
Age: 19
Height: 5’7’
Weight: 120lbs
Hair: spiked orange/brown
Eye: green
Job: brawler
Weapons: fists and draggers
Clothes/items: brown leather vest, ragged skirt, cross necklace,
Allegiance: Rebels
Personality: happy but down to earth, bright, morning person
Past: lived in a small village until it burned to the ground for king’s collect, lost her family in the fire then taken in by Amos and grouped the rebels as a refugee but become a fighter for them.
Likes: Amos, sunny days
Dislikes: the king, thunder


I added in some extra things you can get rid of those but I thought maybe a little more infor would be nice.




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Posted 7/26/08
haha, i really like the thunder as a fear, it gives this strong powerful girl a sensitive side and could work in my next scene. where amos teases her when she is scared of the storm.
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Posted 7/27/08
im looking for suggestions on themes or values one of the story may take on, also i am kinda tired of putting them in a folder called project no name, so if u could suggest titles that would be great 2, anything medieval, hopefully u guys will inspire more out of me.
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Posted 7/27/08
Since it is Christian, maybe the theme could be self sacrifice? Somewhat like what Jesus did (without the hero being worshiped) Like the hero in the end, giving his life for his friends.
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Posted 7/29/08
You're welcome Cry. It's a common fear in girls...for some reaosn.
Theme? Isn't the theme that God will prvillage in the end? Or that God has his own speical plan for us?
But what Dig mentioned in good considering you know who dies.
Title? I don't do medieval much but .... maybe 'The Rightous way'. idk.
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Posted 7/29/08
Well digs, funny that you mentioned that, that was my first solid storyline was the hero's death. Hmm i was thinking of just using this name i was saving in case i ever started a company, but Infinite Mercy. but its rather broad, again I want enjoyment to be seen by all for it, so it might scare away the fickle critics. Something like Sword of Revolution. Where as the real sword is hinted towards being the bible, i dont know i have a hard time with naming characters so having an absolute name is rather challenging. Last crusade?, The sword and the shield, Kingsmen (also another parody, the King's men, as Christ the King is the idea, as they will perceive it- Amos the future king) Or perhaps a name for their order, not just rebels or revolutionists, something... stuck
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Posted 7/30/08 , edited 7/30/08
wooooooooooooooow what's going on???
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Posted 7/30/08
lol well i have made some progress, i guess thats the best way to describe it rukia. i am trying to decide on the projects title.
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Posted 7/31/08

cryolyger wrote:

lol well i have made some progress, i guess thats the best way to describe it rukia. i am trying to decide on the projects title.


I want a full scrip so can tare it apart.. ..ahh exsaming it and make comments. ...ha kek. I want help with a title too but, will know better if? I have some thing to tare, I mean look over.
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