One Day Dead
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23 / F / South Korea
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Posted 6/10/08 , edited 6/10/08
Sorry it took so long but here it is
One Day Dead
“Am I dead?” thought Sungmin to himself. He was lying on his side, on a hard surface that he realized to be concrete. He could hear people gasping and screaming from all around him. His whole body was hurting especially his neck, ribs, arm and head. Whenever he took a breath it felt like someone was stabbing him over and over again. His mind was here and there and was not able to focus on anything. He felt a warm, thick, sticky liquid start to form a pool around him.
“Man” he thought, “Im bleeding”
By now Sungmin was beginning to feel light headed, from the blood loss. He was slipping in and out of conciseness.
“Don’t worry” Sungmin thought, trying to calm himself and at the same time keep his mind focused, “just try to remember what happened.”

***FLASH BACK***

“Hyung? Can you goto the store and get milk, eggs, and bread? We’re all out.” Kangin said coming from the kitchen.
“Kangin, why can’t you go your self?” Sungmin replied, “Eeteuk, why can’t he go?”
“Sungmin don’t complain, I’ll even go with you.” His hyung replied.
“Fine then lets go before Mr. High-and-Mighty over there starves.” Said Sungmin as he went over to the closet and got a jacket.

As Sungmin and Eeteuk are walking to the store, Sungmin couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen.

While walking back to the apartment it starts to rain causing the road to become slippery. All of a sudden everything happened so fast. Sungmin‘s right foot slips out from under him like he stepped on a bar of wet soap in the shower. His body fell inwards towards the street and at the same time a van was coming the other way. Everything happened so fast for Sungmin but for Eeteuk every thing seemed to be moving in slow motion. As quickly as Sungmin fell he felt the force of the van fling him into the air like a pebble but he felt gravity bring him back down to earth like a bolder. He felt the hard impact of the ground and he heard a small snapping sound come from his neck and chest. He felt his arm break in two also. He felt himself bounce and roll for a while them everything was still. He heard car screeching to a stop, voices crying out in horror. He heard Eeteuk screaming out to him franticly.

***END FLASH***

“So that’s what happened.” Sungmin thought remembering what happened”
He heard sirens, faintly at first, but gradually they grew louder until it seemed that they were right over top of him. He had the feeling that people were starting to gather around him staring at him in horror. He heard two men telling people to move aside. One of the men moved Sungmin’s arm slightly and Sungmin’s face twisted with pain. He felt one of them place a brace around his neck, while the other man but a mask over his nose and mouth to help him breathe. Suddenly he felt a cool blast of air hitting his face and was forced into his lungs. He was sort of startled but the blast of air but for some reason his body did not flinch in shock. He felt himself being lifted off of the ground and put onto a straight board, them he felt himself being lifted again but this time he felt himself being placed into a vehicle. He heard two doors slam behind him and he felt the vehicle lurch forward.
“DON’T DIE ON ME SUNGMIN!” Eeteuk screamed at Sungmin as they started off towards the hospital.
The paramedics cut off Sungmin’s shirt to reveal his chest. His chest had about 15 small cuts on it from glass shards penetration his skin and there was also other debris in his wounds. There was also a very large gash from his left shoulder to his right side. Suddenly the ambulance was filled with a loud rapid beeping sound.
“What’s going on?” Eeteuk asked the paramedic.
“Please stay back sir” was the only answer he got back.
As the paramedics tried to get Sungmin’s heart working again the paramedic instructed Eeteuk to squeeze the bad that was attached to the breathing mask every second like a normal breath.
“Just don’t die on me Sungmin” Eeteuk thought to him self as he began to do what the paramedic instructed. As the ambulance pulls up to the hospital Eeteuk can see a team of doctors and nurses waiting at the door with a stretcher ready to help Sungmin.
“22 year old male, broken right arm, large contusion on his chest. Also his heart stopped on the way here. We got it working again but it is very weak.” The paramedic next to Eeteuk said.
“Alright” said, what Eeteuk guessed to be, the head doctor. “Get me a chest tube kit and prep him for surgery”
Eeteuk watched helplessly as Sungmin was wheeled farther away from him to another part of the hospital. He hated how his friend was dying and all he could do was watch helplessly.
“Nurse, please insert the chest tube in the operating room”
“Yes sir.” Replied the nurse
When Sungmin reached the operation room his mind was so out of it he had a hard time even remembering his own name. He felt cold metal touch the skin under his arm. He felt it being pressed down and dragged across his skin, but compared to the pain on the rest of his body this was nothing. He could hear the sound of metal clinking together. The room was then filled with a loud rapid beeping sound just like in the ambulance. Sungmin gave up. His chest hurt to much and he could only take in a little bit of air. He felt his mind straining to stay awake and he felt his body starting to go numb.
“Sorry hyung” Sungmin managed to think to himself remembering Eeteuk’ s smiling face.
Then Sungmin let darkness take over his body. His mind went completely blank and a cool feeling came all over his body like a ocean wave at the beach. Sungmin felt completely relaxed and the pain that he had been feeling since the accident, felt as though it has all magically disappeared. Sungmin’s body went limp and he went in to very deep peaceful sleep.

“Where am I” thought Sungmin. He could only see darkness but he did not feel any pain. “That’s right, I was in an accident,” he thought as he remembered what had happened. “So am I dead?” as he thought this he sat up quickly on the bed. Sungmin was expecting the feel extreme pain but he didn’t feel anything. He let his eyes adjust to the darkness and when his eyes adjusted he say 12 people sitting in the room asleep.
“Guys he said trying to get them to wake up, “Guys?” Sungmin heard a door open and he saw a man flick on the lights. Sungmin let his eyes adjust to the light again. After about 10 seconds he was able to see clearly. He expected everyone to be happy when they saw him, but instead it seemed that they didn’t even notice he was there.
“Come on all of you, we have to get home.”
Sungmin recognized the person. It was Super Juniors manager, but what was he doing here?
“Manager hyu-“ Sungmin started to say, but he was interrupted by the Super Junior members.
“Coming” they all, said as they all started to get up to leave.
“Sungmin, get better soon” Hankyung said in a sad, quiet voice.
Sungmin looked at the person that Hankyung had spoken to.
“THAT’S ME!” screamed Sungmin. “What am I doing here and there!? Better question what’s going-“
Sungmin fell silent. He stared at the floor with his arms hanging down by his sides like a limp doll.
“Hyung” said the youngest member Kyuhyun. His eyes were about to look like a waterfall. “ I didn’t die after my accident so you can’t die either.”
“Just focus on getting better” said Kangin.
“Hyung don’t say stuff just to make the situation better than it is. I’m dead.” As Sungmin finished his sentence he fell to his knees and began to cry. “What’s the use?” he thought “no one will be able to comfort me.” Sungmin cried and cried, sobbing that no one could hear, tears that on one could see, and trembling that no one could calm.

One month had gone by since the day of the accident. All of the Super Junior members had visited him every day hoping for a change but every day when they asked “Any change” the doctor only shook his head no. Everyday when the members came by, all Sungmin could do was stand in a corner hopelessly thinking to himself. By the end of the 1st month Sungmin couldn’t take it anymore. He was tired of the members coming everyday when they all knew he would not be coming back.
“I’m DEAD!” Sungmin screamed out in anger. “Don’t you get it? I’m dead! D-E-A-D! Not coming back, not breathing, no pulse, lifeless, DEAD!” Sungmin had begun to cry. Tears were streaming down his face creating rivers of salt and emotion. “Just see it, I’m dead! Gone forever! said Sungmin as he knocked some books off of a table in the room. As soon as he knocked the books off of the table he saw all of the members jump a little in surprise.
“Kangin, how did those fall?” asked a surprised Eunhyuk.
“I don’t know” Kangin replied.
“Maybe it was a breeze?” Eeteuk said “a really strong breeze” he added quickly.
“Hyung, I don’t think that it was a breeze. They flew half way across the room! No breeze could do that,” Kyuhyun said.
“Maybe it was a ghost,” Heechul said trying to give a reasonable explanation.
“Yeah right hyung. Ghosts don’t really exist.” Said Shindong.
At this point Sungmin was so happy he got all of the member’s attention, but he, at the same time, was mad at Shindong for saying that he did not exist. Sungmin picked up a magazine from the table and promptly hit Shindong over the head.
“O W W W” screamed Shindong “who was that?”
“Like I said, maybe it was a ghost?” Heechul said again.
Just then the manager walked into the room
“Come on all of you. Time to go.” He said.
“Yes” They all replied.
As all of the members were leaving Sungmin followed them. He wanted to go home that time instead of staying at the hospital with his body. He wanted to let the rest of the members know he was there. He wanted to let them know he was still with them.

Sungmin let out a long relived sigh “I’m so glad to be home” he sighed flopping down onto his bed “well half home” He laughed.
It had been about a month since the accident and everyday the Super Junior members would come and stay with him at the hospital for a while. Each time the members came they would be happy. They would laugh until their sides hurt and they tell jokes until they could no longer talk clearly and Sungmin felt as though they didn’t care about him. He was just about to leave the room when Kangin walked in.
“Sorry” Kangin said out loud, “I’m so sorry. It’s my fault it’s my entire fault. If I didn’t ask you to go to the store you never would have ended up like this.”
Just then Eeteuk walked in. He had a straight face on and Sungmin could tell that he had been crying.
“Kangin” Eeteuk said quietly, “You know just as well as the rest of us it was not your fault. Everyday when we come home you’re like this. It’s not your fault; it could have been me for all we know. Don’t blame yourself.
For the first time in a month, Sungmin understood his fellow members. They did not want to seem like they were upset. They wanted to show Sungmin that they were happy and were not suffering and as to not worry Sungmin.
“Eeteuk! Kangin! Yesung passed out!” Ryeowook screamed from the bathroom.
“Kangin help me carry him to the couch” Eeteuk said as he wiped tears from Kangin’s eyes. “This is like the 7th time already. He’s been so upset he hasn’t been eating and he stays up all night crying.”
Sungmin felt himself begin to shake. He felt tears begin to flow down his cheeks.
“Yesung” he cried out. He was so sad to see one of the members, one of his friends, hurting himself like that. He began to cry like a baby now. He couldn’t stop himself from crying. Sungmin leapt onto his bed and cried. He cried until he could cry no longer then he cried some more. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Sungmin jerked awake. He felt his pillow. It was wet.
“Did I cry all night long?” he wondered
Just then Kibum came into the room.
“Has Yesung woken up yet?” he asked Shindong and Heechul.
“Yeah” replied Heechul “he just got up like 10 or 15 minutes ago. He’s in the kitchen with Siwon. Siwon is trying to get him to eat something before he passes out again.”
“What’s he trying to get him to eat?” asked Kibum.
“Oatmeal” Heechul responded, “Siwon doesn’t want him to eat anything that requires alot of effort to eat.
“I see. Well I’m going to the hospital to visit Sungmin. Tell Yesung to eat my breakfast for me. I’ll get a bagel at the store.”
“Yeah, I’ll tell him.” Shindong replied, “When you get back tell us if the doctor has any news of him.”
“I’ll do that,” Kibum said as he walked to the door.

After an hour-and-a-half, Kibum came bursting into the Super Junior apartment. He had a extremely happy look on his face like he had just won the lottery.
“Everyone get over here now!” he screamed. He apparently had some news to tell everyone. “Well as you, I went to the hospital to see how Sungmin was doing and I got some really good news!”
“What good news?” asked Yesung. He had appeared from the kitchen with a bowl of oatmeal in his hands. He was excited to hear how Sungmin was doing.
“The doctor said he’s breathing on his own now?” Kibum exclaimed. All of the members began falling to their knees, crying. Kibum walked over to Yesung who was standing there motion less, eyes wide and mouth open.
“Yesung for Sungmin’s sake please eat something.” Kibum pleaded. He was still trying to get Yesung to eat something. Just then Yesung shoved about half of the oatmeal into his mouth.
“Since it’s for Sungmin” he said with a full mouth.
“Swallow your food before you talk.” Kibum replied.
Sungmin was standing in the corner of the room. He was so surprised he was about to do back flips all over the place.
“So I’m NOT dead?” Sungmin said eyes still wide from surprise. “I’m not dead” he screamed realizing what he just heard.
Siwon walked over to Sungmin’s bed and sat down. He sighed and lied down. When his head hit the pillow he sat up quickly.
“What is it?” asked Shindong, “did you get a shock?”
“No. Sungmin’s pillow is wet.”
“Did someone spill water on it or is the ceiling leaking?” Eeteuk asked.
“No it’s the like cool damp wet you feel when someone has been crying.” Siwon replied.
“So who was lying here crying?” Donghae asked.
“No one was here,” Siwon, replied “no one was here on his bed until now.”
“If it’s a ghost then can one of us leave our cell phone here, close the door and lock it and then come back and see if the ghost left us a message?” Heechul suggested.
“Good idea hyung” Ryeowook said, “I’ll leave my phone.”
As all of the members were leaving the room Ryeowook went over to the bed and left his phone on it. He set it up so it was on the texting setting. Once Ryeowook left the room Sungmin ran over to the phone.
“What should I write?” Sungmin wondered. “Should I tell them I’m here? No I should write something that only I would say. What would only I say? As Sungmin thought about what only he would say he suddenly thought of something.
“That’s it!” he cried as he started to write the text. “That should be it” Sungmin said as he finished the text. “Now all I have to do is wait.

After 15 minutes. The members unlocked the door and came in. Ryeowook ran over to the bed and picked up his phone. Ryeowook just stood there staring at the phone.
“What does it say?” asked Donghae. “What does it say?”
“It says” Ryeowook began “Heechul hyung, want to share a cookie?”
“That’s not right” Eunhyuk said, “How could it be Sungmin?” he grabbed the phone and read the message. He stood there and handed the phone to Eeteuk who showed it to the rest of the members. All of them just stood there in awww.
“So the ghost is Sungmin?” Hankyung asked.
“Wait! So does that mean he’s dead? The doctor said he was breathing on his own. Why would he be here and did he hit me over the head at the hospital? Aish my brain hurts.” Shindong said.
Just then the phone rang and Yesung went to answer it. It was the hospital. Yesung stood there with his eyes wide; he dropped the bowl of oatmeal and slumped to the floor on his knees.
“What’s wrong Yesung?” Siwon asked.
“Sun. . . Sun. . Sungmin is not breathing on his own anymore. The doctor said he probably has 1 more night to li . . li . . live.” Yesung began to cry.
“WHAT!?” Donghae exclaimed “I thought you just said he was breathing on his own.” He said turning towards Kibum.
“That’s what they told me” he responded.
“Come one. Let’s go to the hospital and find out what’s going on” Kyuhyun said.
“Right” they all responded.

Once the members all got to the hospital all of them ran towards Sungmin’s room. They didn’t bother to tell anyone where they were going but the hospital staff already knew where they were going. When they reached the room, Sungmin was lying on the bed. His hospital robe was open to revel his chest and there were all sorts of wires and other various things.
“Doctor” Kibum said “I thought you told me he was breathing on his own.”
“I did but for whatever reason his body just quit on him” the doctor explained.
Again a loud rapid beeping sound filled the room. Eeteuk recognized the sound. Sungmin felt his mind blank out and he began to fall forward. He hit the floor.
“Why?” Sungmin thought “Why? I just want to be alive”
“I’m going to have to ask you all to wait outside” the nurse told the members.

After 15 minuets the doctor and nurse came out of the room.
“He might not make it through the night. I am going to be straightforward. He is still in a coma and he has about a 7% chance of regaining consciousness before he dies.” The doctor said.
“Why? Why is he going to die?” Eunhyuk asked.
“When the car struck him at the accident it caused a blood vessel to rupture in his head that caused massive bleeding in his brain. His mind shut down and he was deprived of oxygen for a period of time. Even though we stopped the bleeding during the surgery it was only temporary.” The doctor told them.
“So is there any chance that he could get better with another operation?” Eeteuk asked.
”I’m afraid not,” the doctor told them “What ever happened in now permanent and has little chance for change.”
“Well say he does make it” Heechul asked, “What would he be like?”
“Slow motor skills, vocal problems, poor reaction time, cardiac and repertory problems, and those are only to name a few.”
“So what’s going to happen to him?” asked Eunhyuk.
“I’m sorry but it already has. He is just not going to be the person you knew before” the doctor told the Super Junior members.

The whole night the members stayed by Sungmin’s side waiting for the news he was gone. Sungmin couldn’t take it anymore. I was sick of not being able to do anything
“I DON’T WANT TO DIE!” he screamed “I WANT TO LIVE!”
Suddenly Hankyung saw Sungmin’s hand moving in odd motions. Then he got an idea.
“Does anyone have any paper and a pen?” he asked.
“Yeah right here. Why?” Ryeowook asked.
“Just watch” Hankyung replied.
Hankyung put the pen in Sungmin’s hand and put the paper under his hand. Slowly letters began to form.
“A-L-I-V-E” Heechul read aloud. “Alive”
“Doctor” Siwon yelled, “Please come here!”
The doctor rushed into the room believing that he would find a life less Sungmin but what he found was a miracle.
“Sungmin. He’s . . .” Siwon began to say.
“One lucky boy.” The doctor cut in “He should be dead by now, but he mush not be the type to give up.
“So he’ll make it?” Shindong asked.
“I believe so” the doctor said, “he shows all signs of it, but even though he will make it, he is still not out of the woods. Remember all of the complications I told you about? Well he will have to go through rehabilitation and physical therapy for a while and all of you will have to help him out as will. Understand?”

Two months had past since that time. Sungmin had done extremely well with his rehabilitation and physical therapy and the members saw it. He was back to normal with his speech and he still would be able to sing with the Super Junior members. His motor skills and his reaction time were almost back to normal as well. He didn’t have any respiratory and cardiac problems either. The only other thing that he really needed to work on was his walking. He could only walk if some one was holding him up or if he was supporting himself on something. He also could only stand for about 10 seconds on his own before falling.
“Aish” Sungmin moaned” I want to go home!”
“We all know but you know what the doctor said ‘not until you can stand and walk on you own’ right.” Kyuhyun said.
“Yeah but I really want to sleep in my own bed.” Sungmin wined.
“Well then hurry up and walk on your own.” Heechul told him.
“But that takes time hyung.” Sungmin said.
“Than don’t complain” Heechul responded.
“Fine, but hyung do you know what I really want?” Sungmin asked.
“No. What?” Heechul asked curiously.
“I want a cookie” Sungmin exclaimed.

Two weeks later Sungmin was discharged form the hospital. He still had to go to the hospital once a week for the next 6 weeks far a check up and physical therapy. He had to wear a brace on his ankle to support it so he could walk and he had to use crutches also. Sungmin was so happy that he was home and Yesung began to act like his old self again. When Sungmin wrote about what had happened in his diary he titled it at the top “One Day Dead”
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