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11202 cr points
Send Message:   21 / M / Ringgold, Georgia
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My friend's friend did this in the mall. ._.
Him: Hey girl can I have your number?
Her: I have a boyfriend.
Him: Oh I have a goldfish.
Her: What's that got to do with anything?
Him: Oh I thought we were talking bout shit that didn't matter.
Her: - gives him her number-
-_- dear god
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7316 cr points
Send Message: 19 / F
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Are you a snot?
Cause I can't breathe when you are present.
You're stuck in my nose all day  |
698 cr points
Send Message: 27 / F / Lost
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I was in an interview with a musician for my thesis when a man knocked at the door, the musician said "come in", and all the man had to say, once he saw me in there, was: "Who is this person of unspeakable beauty you have here, Aslan?"
(Yes, the musician I was interviewing is called Aslan)
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2163 cr points
Send Message: 19 / F / Wherever the wind...
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I watched The Runaways yesterday and I remember a line this one guy said.
Joan: Woah. That guy over there... that's Kim Fowley.
Guy: lolwho?
Joan: Kim Fowley. He's a producer.
The guy then puts her hand on his crotch and says "This is Dick Johnson he'd like to produce you."
I was like lolwhut? |
29221 cr points
Send Message: 17 / F / Your Deathbed
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desh92 wrote:
My friend's friend did this in the mall. ._.
Him: Hey girl can I have your number?
Her: I have a boyfriend.
Him: Oh I have a goldfish.
Her: What's that got to do with anything?
Him: Oh I thought we were talking bout shit that didn't matter.
Her: - gives him her number-
-_- dear god
What a badass.
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11202 cr points
Send Message: 21 / M / Ringgold, Georgia
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xD yeah he crazy
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13158 cr points
Send Message: 21 / M
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nice rack lol
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54583 cr points
Send Message: 65 / M / Columbia, MO
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She married me for my looks and I married her for her money. As you can plainly see we both lost out on that deal.
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899 cr points
Send Message: 22 / F / Central Europe
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"Hey girl, do you know how much polar bear weights? No? Well i don't know either but it should be enough to break the ice, no?"
My roommate uses that one. But since he's so sexy I'd forgive him. |
7650 cr points
Send Message: 31 / M / Texas
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Me (DRUNK and just out of basic training): Hey nice boots, want me to teach you how to shine them to a glass finish?
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Future Wife: Get away from or I'll cut your balls off.
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Me: I love you!
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2951 cr points
Send Message: 99 / FACEBOOK STALKING
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Is your middle name poop? Cause your body's the sh*t!!
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371 cr points
Send Message: 19 / M / Earth
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Hey duh angel u just like the rice, ill never get tired of u |
4204 cr points
Send Message: 20 / F / Upside down
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If you were a potato, you'd be a good potato.
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Banned
31428 cr points
Send Message: 32 / M / The Universal Con...
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That is the funniest! LOL!
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