Chapter 4 "The Princess of Flames/Ocean Joins"
Posted 6/16/08 , edited 6/16/08
Chapter 4 Part 1
"The Princess of Flames Joins"


Miyu ,Sya, and Shea then jump on a cheap train they can ride with paying no money. They then find a room to sit in and watch the beautiful setting of the blue sky, the green grass full of blue, red, yellow, and all the other colors you can think of . While they were watching the beautiful scenery the girl named “Tear” came in. “Yo!” Tear says coldly just coming in and sitting down by Shea “My name is Mysterica ''Tear'' Grants but you can call me “Tear”, and I am here to join you on your journey!” She says seriously but still coldly. “How did you know we were here?” Shea asks suspicious. “I followed you guys from the town” Tear says coldly. “Ehh!? How sneaky” Miyu says surprised. “Well? What is your power?” Shea asks giving Tear a side glance. “Mine? It is magic..” Tear says proudly in a cold voice. “Oh!?” Shea smiles in a sure you do way “Welcome to the team Tear!” Shea says teasingly. “Your going to let me join just like that?” Tear says surprised. “Why not? We need as much help as we can get” Shea says looking out the window not looking at Tear. “Strange” Tear says lowly while looking away in the opposite direction. “She seems really weird” Sya whispers in Miyu’s ear. “I must agree” Miyu whispers back in Sya’s ear. Shea’s pet wolf goes and sits by Shea between Tear and Shea. “Huh? Shea ,Miyu ? don’t you hear something?” Sya says looking around for the noise. Shea and Tear look up at the roof of the train “Something up there” Shea and Tear say at the same time. Suddenly a foot goes through the roof from the top with fire that melted it and the girl jumped in and fell right between Miyu and Sya. Miyu and Sya are so surprised they yell out loudly backing away “E-ERI!!!!!”

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pringles07/Eri
Soulnirvana/Shea
xX-InocentDeath-Xx/''Tear''
michellewjy/Miyu
GaaraILWsya/Sya
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(Sorry if my writing is still bad but im still learning. Anyway PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS! (Part 2 will come on the 20th)

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Posted 6/17/08
>w< this is getting better~ i can't wait!
Posted 6/18/08
Break up the dialogue into small paragraphs because it gets really confusing who is talking and where the talking starts and ends.
Posted 6/18/08

hongyinyu wrote:

Break up the dialogue into small paragraphs because it gets really confusing who is talking and where the talking starts and ends.


Alright.............
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Posted 6/21/08

kodieloiler wrote:


hongyinyu wrote:

Break up the dialogue into small paragraphs because it gets really confusing who is talking and where the talking starts and ends.


Alright.............


i think its fine da way it iz dun listen to her she thinks n talks like she knos everyythin but shes not like 88 yrs old
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Posted 6/22/08

vaneli wrote:


kodieloiler wrote:


hongyinyu wrote:

Break up the dialogue into small paragraphs because it gets really confusing who is talking and where the talking starts and ends.


Alright.............


i think its fine da way it iz dun listen to her she thinks n talks like she knos everyythin but shes not like 88 yrs old


I'm gonna have to agree with yinyu on this one. It's grammatically correct and it's a heckuv a lot less hassle for the dialog to be in separate paragraph. Of course, this only counts when it's done right, but I have little doubt that kodie can pull it off
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Posted 6/25/08
lalala ima so bored..........
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