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Can you write something.
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Posted 8/15/08
Yup. Lots of people can't keep it short like me-- we have the insatiable urge to add detail, so we can't rush or we think it looks like crap. Yup. Writers like us lean more towards full-blown stories, which I think is where this one is headed.

Goes to show that I've been writing for 3 years and not once have I written a one-shot. .... damn. Except for that one in the Romance section. But that was crud. >_>
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Posted 8/15/08
I completely agree.
And usually, when I finish a story part, I look it over and wonder if it's any good or not. Of course, I doubt my own abilities constantly saying to myself: "COME ON!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! DO IT RIGHT?! NO ONE'S GONNA LIKE THIS!!!!"
.....
The Gensaku-sha in me is....very...very cruel...

And than when I post a story, people end up liking it. So I guess that means I have talent? But I still see my own faults.
Kinda like one of those moments when something is created, you know it's good, but still you wonder if it's good enough, and than you show it to the public and it's well liked.
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Posted 8/15/08
Hmm. That just means you want to be better. That's good, I guess. You don't need someone to push you to be better, you're already pushing yourself. Of course, the constant self-bashing is sometimes annoying.... but you get used to it eventually, right?

Meh. I should stop babbling and start writing. Plot bunnies are eating my brain again.... I must post something worthy of this forum soon. xD
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Posted 8/16/08 , edited 8/16/08
Here's a summary+plot of a story. Please tell me if I should make it into an official story:

Things are becoming weird around the world. Or frightening. Depends on how you see it. Several weeks ago, black fogs began appearing all over the world and taking over the living things in towns and cities. They're each about the size of 2 football fields and where ever they touch, all living things would just drop dead. Well, not quiet dead....more like paralyzed. They're still breathing and their heart is beating but it's like they all turned into vegetables. Even the bugs, pets, and animals.

After the fog moves on, people would always go to see if they can find survivors. There were always survivors. But they're all creatures that are in water from when the fog happened till the fog passed. So scientists began experimenting with the brave souls that aren't afraid to turn into veggies. People in submarines aren't affected by the fog. People who are in sealed places with oxygen tanks aren't affected either. So came the conclusion that as long as you're not breathing in the fog, you're fine.

People stuck with that theory till they discovered that they'll turn into veggies if they even TOUCH the fog. That's when more air tight spaces and buildings plus subs were made.

I laughed at their feeble attempts to survive. Are they stupid? It's been weeks with over a billion so called casualties and they still haven't figured it out? Do they really want to live? What happened to starting to look into the "superstitious" crap to figure things out? I mean, if they read some fairy tales over, it'll be easy to figure out. After all I took the idea of putting people to a timeless sleep from Sleeping Beauty.

~~~~~

Okay, that was more like a very short prolouge then a summary or a plot line. It just came out that way. Please tell me if I should continue ^_^.
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Posted 8/22/08
Weird..
But, okay continue pal! I guess you love horror( so am I)
I love what happen to the people who aren't yet veggietize.
I'll be waiting SilveenFox!
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Posted 8/22/08
godime! godime!
I hereby call you to be worthy in this forum...You keep on putting incomplete stories with kouta.
As a king of the forum. My servants are not allowed to let me wait! muahahahahahahahahaha!
(just joking dude)
I'll wait for your story.
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Posted 8/22/08
My right hand kouta.....Do you have murderous intend to your king? Huh!
Do you! Do you! If so please continue.





*Corner part of my room*(for short I'm being Emo)
I can't believe This.. my kingdom is so large yet why My people are so few?
Am I not fitted To be the king! No! yet many has to come. When the time that I am content.
I will let you see my own skill as a king! That is a promise. I'm Emo!
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Posted 9/2/08
Okay, I'll start up the next part than.
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Posted 9/2/08 , edited 9/2/08
-Devil Killer: Second Phase : Part 1 -

Flashback sequence - Takuma current age => 7 years old.

It was a quiet, snowy day.
The snow had fallen heavily upon the city, blanketing it in a white veil. What a perfect time to go...
A young Takuma stood at the foot of his stairs, as he watched an older looking Takuma (his father) stand in the doorway. Facing the outside world.
Cloak wrapped tightly around his figure, sword hanging over his back. He looked over his shoulder to his son. He smiled and started walking...

Takuma sprinted forward, grabbing onto the ends of his father's cloak with both hands.
"Dad, I don't want you to go...like mom did..." He pulled gently.

But his father pulled the cloak out of his hands.
"Forgive me Takuma, but this is something I have to do."

"But Dad." Takuma ran in front of his father, holding out his arms. "Can't I go with you?" He said with a frown on his face.
"I don't want you to vanish like mom."

His father smirked widly.
"Wipe that frown off your face...! In the face of an enemy, how will you bring morale to your soldiers if you show fear and sadness?!" He spoke in his gar tone.

Takuma looked down, shoulders shaking in sorrow. Even if his father ordered him to, he couldn't just tell his emotions to go away.
He felt a large hand on his head.
His father was patting his head...

"Do you still have that charm your mother left behind you?" He was referring to the last present his mom gave him before she vanished.

"Yah." Takuma reached inside his shirt, pulling out a hand-made charm and showing it to his father. "See."

"Good. Listen very closely Takuma, a man never makes a promise he won't intend to keep; And that is my philosophy as well." His father was very manly like that. In the tradition of every Gar character, he even had the spiky hair and Gar-shades. Plus an added goatee and cool scar for the older ones.
"So I'll make a promise right now, as long as you have that charm, me, your mother, and everyone who cares for you will stand by your side even when Death has taken us."
With that said, he walked past Takuma.
As his parting words, he said with his cloak blowing in the wind: "When you get older, join me on the battlefield...until than...farewell, Takuma...!"

"Those were the last words my father ever said to me...and...like my mom, he vanished too."
--------------------------------------------------------------
-Dream sequence-

Watching the clouds, Takuma and Suzuna against the grassy hill. Hands locked together. The two looked like a couple.
"Hey, Takuma, do you think...I mean...as a Devil and Human...can we really stay together?" Suzuna asked with sadness in her voice.

"If anyone objects, I'll hit them." Takuma raised his fist into the air to prove it.

Takuma's response made Suzuna laugh.
Than she spoke seriously again, "Do you think we'll ever be like this again...?"

"What do you mean?" Takuma turned his head to Suzuna. But found that she had vanished...
Takuma had a startled look on his face at first, but than it turned expressionless. No, he didn't stand up and start shouting for Suzuna. Nor did he run frantically searching for her.
He merely sat up, staring at the sky which was starting to turn a deep red color, the clouds turning black and the grass dying.
"Oh, that's right...she's no longer here...so, where am I now?" He said with a monotone and emotionless voice.
-------------------------------
-Back to reality-

-Present day: 2 years prior to the end of the last story-
(So...Takuma would be about...19 or 20.)

Takuma stood in a field of tall grass, overlooking a hill and a bridge leading out of the city.
"Heh...to have your mind wander before battle...how foolish." Takuma criticized himself.
Closing his eyes and smirking, a sigh escaping his lips.
He opened his eyes slowly...
A couple of his Devil Slayer allies were standing beside him. Weapons drawn, and waiting for Takuma's signal...

A very dangerous Devil had been patrolling around the high grass areas lately. So it was their task to destroy it, Takuma had the most experience here, so he was taking charge.
Takuma could see it from where he was.
It was a giant of a Devil, triple the size of a normal man. It's legs were small and torso mid-sized, but it walked on it's overly huge arms.
It almost looked human. It's skin color matched, but it had three faces on it's body. Two on it's torso, and the last where it was supposed to be.

"Everyone standby." Takuma said quietly. Crouching down in sprinting position. "Stick to the plan, and we'll bring it down without a problem-huh?" Takuma's eyes were caught by something running away from the Devil.
"What's that?" A small, child sized figure was running away from it.
"That's a change of plans."

"What should we do, Takuma-sama?" A young male by Takuma's side asked him.

"....." Takuma was silent for a little while...thinking to himself.
"Proceed as planned, leave the thing the Devil is chasing to me." Takuma gave at thumbs up, and than returned his gaze to the primary target.
"Alright...ready....GO!!!" Takuma leaped out of the tall grass, onto the hill below and started charging the Devil. Sword held in low guard...
It hadn't noticed him yet. That was good.
He ran by it's side, turning his blade to it's arm and than jumping out in front of it, striking the arm with his blade mid-move.

It shrieked in pain from the blade's cut, which cut in deeply past the outer armor and into the skin.

The child-like figure stopped in it's tracks, turning to see Takuma there. It wasn't sure to be scared or relieved, it just took steps back before falling on it's bottom.

Takuma didn't acknowledge the other one's existence. Turning his blade's tip to the Devil in front of him.

"Argh! Who the hell are you?!" It shouted out in 3 voices.

"I'm..." Takuma paused for dramatic effect, "The man whose going to slice open your head." Takuma said with a cocky attitude.
It seems he's changed over the years. Into a much cooler character...
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Posted 9/4/08
. . .
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Posted 9/5/08
What?
It's no good.
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Posted 9/5/08
no no.....I'm just waiting for the next...part

uhmmm can I ask something?

What genre do you usually make?
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Posted 9/5/08 , edited 9/5/08

That is...a very good question...

I try to do a little of everything.
Slice of life, action, horror, romance, comedy, shojou-ai. Somewhere between Shonen and Shojou. Like a type of middle between them.
But...one thing that ALWAYS remains the same is that at least one character has a f***ed up past.
The worst character history I ever created...well...I can't say here because it like...completely...decimates the PG-13 rule.

Anyways. I'll get the next part up really soon.
In fact I'll start on it right now!!!
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Posted 9/5/08 , edited 9/5/08
it's nice to do something like that together...but I would mind if you could practice focusing on both or one genre. I only said focus.
Not to eradicate all types you want. try to write simple.It's a great advantage.^-^hehehehe....it's only a suggestion.

Besides flashbacks are essential and really needed..
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Posted 9/5/08 , edited 9/5/08
( I guess...But it's so hard to lean towards just one! T_T
Though if I had to choose......I think my stories lean more towards Shonen.

Flashbacks are a great dramatic tool!
And it's a good way to start something when you can't think of a better way to start it off.

On a side note, I've been writing something else lately, it's kinda like the whole: "Destroy monsters" set up. You know, like this one....and the last one...
Damn I do a lot of "Destroy monsters" set ups. X__x;;
The difference between this one though...most of the chapters are basically one-shots involving the lives of side characters, some reappear and some don't.
Basically, the two characters are like thankless super heroes.
Also, I got sad about the way I ended every chapter.
Amakumi's catch phrase is always full of sorrow... ...One of my friends said: "...I JUST WANNA GIVE HER A HUG!!!" D> )

-Part 2-

"Big threat for such a little human." He was roughly 5 times Takuma's current size.

"I don't make threats...I make promises." Takuma commented, placing the sword over his shoulder. "So, you gonna stand there and talk...or fight? Either way you die, but one is quicker than the other."

The Devil became very angry with Takuma's cocky attitude. "You stupid human, who do you think you're talking to?!" Raising his fist, he slammed it on Takuma.
A loud smashing sound from the point of impact.

But Takuma was still standing.
At the last second he moved out of the fist's range. "You're so slow it looked like you were moving in slow motion." Takuma mocked it once more.
Flipping the blade to backhand mode, he jumped over the fist and thrust his blade into the wrist. Twisting and turning the blade into the skin, blood splurting out and coating Takuma's midnight black coat a dark red.

The devil shrieked in agony, no matter how much he flailed his arm, Takuma's blade was in too deep.

"How do you like that, Devil? Painful enough for ya?!" Takuma's blade pierced through the other side and than he moved the blade in an arc, instead of cutting off the whole arm. He jumped off leaving the arm hanging by a small patch of skin.
Takuma paced around the Devil as it held it's half-severed arm while it's screamed increased in volume.
"If you're already ready to give up." Takuma stood about 2 ft. away from it. "Than I'll send you back to the pit that spawned you." Takuma held his blade in a thrusting position.

A smirk grew on one of the Devil's faces.
Tentacles pierced out of the Devil's body, grabbing onto Takuma's arms (No tentacle play here!!!) It tossed Takuma against the ground.
Than whipping back around, they came down from above and the sides.

Takuma backhand flipped out of their range as they crashed down. He landed on his knees, blade held in backhand position.
He wiped the blood from his lip. The smirk gone from his face.

The Devil's hand fixed itself, a black aura coming from the wound.
It started to stand again, advancing on Takuma.
"Oh, no cocky attitude anymore?" It mocked. "And here I thought you were going to split my head open, or send me back to the 'pit that spawned me?' What happened to all that, huh?! Little Devil Slayer?!"

"Tch." Takuma took off towards the bridge.

"Where are you going?! I'm not done playing yet." He followed after Takuma like a mouse to cheese.

A dark smile grew on Takuma's face.
'It took the bait.'
Takuma skidded to a halt, turning to face the Devil. Showing that dark, cocky smile on his face.

The Devil noticed too late. Because at that moment, 4 other Devil Slayers brandishing blades larger than themselves appeared from under the bridge.
They all pierced their weapons into the Devil's arms, keeping it pinned. They than leaped backwards...out of harms range.
And than, the 4 other devil slayers clapped their hands together.Closing their hands together, with the thumbs, middle and index fingers touching. (Yes, it resembles a ninja hand sign. -__- )
They all started chanting silently.

"You...ALL OF YOU, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN KILL ME?!" The tentacles lashed out again. But the Devil Slayers were unwavering, having no fear.
Because they trusted Takuma's plan. And as expected, they were safely out of range...not only that...
The weapons started glowing. A white flame ran along the Devil's body, encircling it. It couldn't use it's powers anymore.

Takuma placed one hand in his pocket. "That's a sealing spell, one that restricts your powers to a bare minimum...including your healing abilities." Takuma said the last part slowly, as to add salt into the wound.

The Devil was becoming absolutely Livid.
"You...YOU STUPID HUMAN!!!" He realized that he could move his hands. So as he tried to release his hands.
A Black Cross appeared beneath the Devil.

"Wow, you must be one stupid Devil." Takuma felt he had to explain. He shrugged and laughed.
"You see, I didn't kill you than and there because I wanted to see if you could heal yourself. So, I allowed you to stay alive for this long. Than, I acted as bait while my allies lied in wait beneath the bridge, after that, they pierced your arms and restricted your powers." Takuma flipped his hair in a cool way.
"But, I didn't want to take the chances that you might free yourself...so...I distracted you long enough so you wouldn't notice the remaining presence of the rest of my allies." Takuma smiled a wide, evil smile. "Even now...I'm distracting you..."
He pointed to the sky. A giant hole was opening up in the sky, clouds circling around the point of splitting.
"But it's too late now...This next spell will weaken you to such an extent, even a rookie can kill you with a regular stick...I almost feel like I'm committing a crime."

"You...You...Stupid human...!" It reached out to Takuma as fast as it could, regardless of the weapons cutting it's arm open as it moved. "I...will not...die by your hand!!!"

The hand had almost reached Takuma, before it was too late. Takuma stared with apathetic eyes... "Die quietly now."

The voices of the Devil slayers nearby shouted out in unison:
"Pluvia , telum of levitas."

(Translation: Rain, spears of lightning...Once again, my translations may be off. X__x;; )

Multiple lightning strikes crashed down onto the Devil. Causing one hell of a light show...
Though the spell was mostly a restriction spell, the attacking power was still devastating to a group of low-level and mid-level Devils but hardly high ranking Devils.
This one was still alive though, as Takuma predicted...

He aimed the blade at it's head. "Like I said before...I don't make threats, I make promises. And a man doesn't make a promise he doesn't intend to keep." After his sentence was over he sprinted off, to the untrained eye it looked like he teleported behind the Devil.
Takuma's blade was covered in the Devil's blood. He placed his sword in the scabbard.......

The Devil's head split open due to the delayed cut. Blood spraying out as the Devil started shrinking into a shriveled husk...and than it's remains spontaneously combusted into a black flame.

Takuma was about to order the Devil Slayers to move out. But than, he remembered the small girl the Devil had been chasing...
"What should we do with her?" The safest option could've sent her to a local shelter near the Devil Slayer HQ. However, there was also no guarantee that she wasn't a Devil or infected by one either, so leaving her there might've been good too.
However...
Infected or not, Takuma couldn't abandon anyone...It's what Suzuna would've done.
"We're taking her with us, I wanna know who exactly she is."
Takuma kneeled down to the little girl's level. "What's your name?" He asked...

She looked down at her feet, placing her hands over her chest...she opened her mouth but had no voice, she tried again and spoke this time: "I...I...." She stuttered, trying to find the right words. "I have no name..." She took a step forward and stumbled forward.
But Takuma caught her just in time.
"Why...Why can't I remember my name?" Tears flowing down her eyes.

"Ikukuru." Takuma suddenly said.

"???" She looked to Takuma.

"Think of it as a temporary name for now."
(I'm probably gonna end up forgetting the name later! )
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