Post Reply Arranged Marriage
Member
10452 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / M
Offline
Posted 6/22/08
I recently watched a documentary that discussed arranged marriage in some Sikh communities. Well, for them it’s a part of their religious culture and heritage. So, what are your opinions on this? Do you think that they should be allowed to force marriage on two people who’ve never met before?
661 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
39
Offline
Posted 7/7/08
Though I am not advocating it for everyone, it is a good practice if done right. It allows a marriage to be organized by someone who is actually thinking about it and has some experience on the subject. It's more than just one small group making a decision for two people with no consideration. It is a decision to tie families together into a community. If you consider how many broken families are out there, having a community backing for a marriage is practical.

That being said, I don't think I would have liked the sort of person my extended family would have picked for me.
Member
10452 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / M
Offline
Posted 7/8/08

LordShangYang wrote:

Though I am not advocating it for everyone, it is a good practice if done right. It allows a marriage to be organized by someone who is actually thinking about it and has some experience on the subject. It's more than just one small group making a decision for two people with no consideration. It is a decision to tie families together into a community. If you consider how many broken families are out there, having a community backing for a marriage is practical.

That being said, I don't think I would have liked the sort of person my extended family would have picked for me.


I think our opinions are largely similar. Statistically I could argue that arranged marriages last longer and more often. However, there’s an error to that statistic. While it’s technically true it doesn’t actually suggest that arranged marriage is the better system-just that it’s taking place in countries where it’s harder to attain a divorce, largely because one partner (typically the woman) has fewer rights than the other.

The next problem with this is that people still have freedom of choice. In short, I support arranged marriage given that the bride and groom to be are also allowed to have some input-as in most Sikh communities. These do tie parents together and simultaneously allow somebody with more life experience to get an opinion in.

I do not, however, support the system of forcing somebody to marry another person against their will.
Member
16324 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / M / Bangalore,India
Offline
Posted 10/3/08
In my family, it's a choice. if you can't get a girl, they'll arrange one for you (only after consulting you and getting your go ahead of course) :P
I'd stick with a regular marriage though.

Member
10452 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / M
Offline
Posted 10/5/08

h4x0rz wrote:

In my family, it's a choice. if you can't get a girl, they'll arrange one for you (only after consulting you and getting your go ahead of course) :P
I'd stick with a regular marriage though.



That’s really interesting. Where do you live?
Member
16324 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / M / Bangalore,India
Offline
Posted 10/6/08

SeraphAlford wrote:


h4x0rz wrote:

In my family, it's a choice. if you can't get a girl, they'll arrange one for you (only after consulting you and getting your go ahead of course) :P
I'd stick with a regular marriage though.



That’s really interesting. Where do you live?


Bangalore, though I was in Dubai till recently (I'm here alone for college now, my parents are still in Dubai)
Member
269 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M / Chicago land area
Offline
Posted 1/4/09
in Natism arranged marrige is not accepted. how ever the practice of polygamy is.
99577 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / F / Charlotte
Offline
Posted 1/4/09
I don't take any kind of religious intake on this, from my myself I believe it's a definite no. Marraige is a sacred relationship, they don't even know eachother. It's almost like sending two individuals who are nothing alike, who don't like eachother, to fight war together, forever.
Creator
57774 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / canada
Offline
Posted 1/4/09

LamiaZlogonje wrote:

I don't take any kind of religious intake on this, from my myself I believe it's a definite no. Marraige is a sacred relationship, they don't even know eachother. It's almost like sending two individuals who are nothing alike, who don't like eachother, to fight war together, forever.


Trust me...love isn't the magic ingredient for a good marriage. A lot of love matches fail, because the members think that it will always be this state of euphoria, and when the hard times hit, and marriage isn't "fun" anymore, then they begin to realize just how much work ... real work... marriage is. Men and women in arranged marriages know from the outset that marriage is work, and they learn right off that communication, patience, acceptance and work are more vital to a successful marriage than love.
99577 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / F / Charlotte
Offline
Posted 1/5/09

kimmm6 wrote:


LamiaZlogonje wrote:

I don't take any kind of religious intake on this, from my myself I believe it's a definite no. Marraige is a sacred relationship, they don't even know eachother. It's almost like sending two individuals who are nothing alike, who don't like eachother, to fight war together, forever.


Trust me...love isn't the magic ingredient for a good marriage. A lot of love matches fail, because the members think that it will always be this state of euphoria, and when the hard times hit, and marriage isn't "fun" anymore, then they begin to realize just how much work ... real work... marriage is. Men and women in arranged marriages know from the outset that marriage is work, and they learn right off that communication, patience, acceptance and work are more vital to a successful marriage than love.


what about the arrange marraiges that pair a young little girl with an old man?
Creator
57774 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / canada
Offline
Posted 1/5/09

LamiaZlogonje wrote:


kimmm6 wrote:


LamiaZlogonje wrote:

I don't take any kind of religious intake on this, from my myself I believe it's a definite no. Marraige is a sacred relationship, they don't even know eachother. It's almost like sending two individuals who are nothing alike, who don't like eachother, to fight war together, forever.


Trust me...love isn't the magic ingredient for a good marriage. A lot of love matches fail, because the members think that it will always be this state of euphoria, and when the hard times hit, and marriage isn't "fun" anymore, then they begin to realize just how much work ... real work... marriage is. Men and women in arranged marriages know from the outset that marriage is work, and they learn right off that communication, patience, acceptance and work are more vital to a successful marriage than love.


what about the arrange marraiges that pair a young little girl with an old man?



That depends...if the old man is abusive, then at least she doesn't have 40 or 50 years of that to look forward to. It's not our place to judge another culture or religion as "right or wrong". Canada (and the US) are still babies in the world. Our way is not the only way of doing things, and looking at the state of North America, I have to wonder if it's the best way.
99577 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / F / Charlotte
Offline
Posted 1/5/09

kimmm6 wrote:


LamiaZlogonje wrote:


kimmm6 wrote:


LamiaZlogonje wrote:

I don't take any kind of religious intake on this, from my myself I believe it's a definite no. Marraige is a sacred relationship, they don't even know eachother. It's almost like sending two individuals who are nothing alike, who don't like eachother, to fight war together, forever.


Trust me...love isn't the magic ingredient for a good marriage. A lot of love matches fail, because the members think that it will always be this state of euphoria, and when the hard times hit, and marriage isn't "fun" anymore, then they begin to realize just how much work ... real work... marriage is. Men and women in arranged marriages know from the outset that marriage is work, and they learn right off that communication, patience, acceptance and work are more vital to a successful marriage than love.


what about the arrange marraiges that pair a young little girl with an old man?



That depends...if the old man is abusive, then at least she doesn't have 40 or 50 years of that to look forward to. It's not our place to judge another culture or religion as "right or wrong". Canada (and the US) are still babies in the world. Our way is not the only way of doing things, and looking at the state of North America, I have to wonder if it's the best way.


*sigh*
Every individual in the entire world has the right to judge and be a critic. My position stands. Arranged marraiges lack the experience that the person(s) that are forced into it could gain. Our way may not be the only way, but at least when we finally find out our loved one. We have the ability to defend ourselves from others words and etc. It also gives people a chance to know the outside world and not beleive its some kind of fantasy place. I still believe Arranged Marraiges shouldn't me allowed no matter what. *nod*
You must be logged in to post.