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Post Reply Ratings from members ONLY!!
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21 / F / ♥California.♥
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Posted 6/26/08
plz rate our story here...... from at least 1-10 plz.......
Posted 6/27/08
uhm..i think you did a great job sakura-chan!! you really have a great imagination and creative too!!! :DDD
i'll give you a 9..heehee..:DD

i hope i can read more!!! :DDD i'm excited already!! GOODLUCK sakura-chan!!
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F / On Earth.
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Posted 6/27/08
I'll give a 9 also ;D I can't wait to see how it's going to turn out ^-^
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20 / F / Somewhere
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Posted 6/27/08
I Agree W/ A 9. Nice Job~Desu. U Already Make Me Want More ^.^. I Wish U the Best Luck & The Members Are Always Here To Help Okay?
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28 / F / ABS0LUTE DESTRUCT...
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Posted 6/27/08 , edited 6/27/08
Since ratings are allowed, may I critique here as well? ^o^;;; (Forgive me if my critique may be harsh on you two. ^^;;)

Rating: 7/8

Thoughts on story: The plot itself is interesting ;].

Critiques for Sakura: You started off fairly well, in introducing a bit about the "day" girl and the "day/night" guy. Looking at the summary given on the group page, it's better if you didn't give out so much information about the split-personality guy. In a sense, it would be more interesting if you let us (your readers) get to know about him little by little as your story progresses.

Critiques for Ren-chanx: Like Sakura, there's a bit too much detail given. It kind of gives away the whole mystery as to why or how the main girl has her "split-personality" or her "double-mind". Would be better if the character and her situation is slowly revealed to the readers. Or you could have revealed about the "angel's" side first in chapter one and work on the "vampire" side in chapter 2 or so. Last paragraph, too long. Try to keep it short like your others. If it's too long, the reader loses his/her reading line (or that might just be me). xD Your 2nd para is a good example. If it's a bit longer, like a sentence or three more, it is OK. It's still not too long.

Crit for both: Chapter 1 ... let's see, I was looking forward to reading a few dialogues. In my opinion, chapter one feels more like a prologue (like a pre-chapter or you can call it chapter 0). It gave a good handful of summary, especially about the two girl's situation. After re-reading it over again, maybe it's better if Ren-chanx's part comes first, since it talks more about the girls. With how it is, it kinda has two separate stories to it... Be mysterious~~ ^o^ We'll die to know more! Most paragraphs are in good lengths.

Suggestions: Reveal each character one by one, or if you two decides to reveal them all together, do so in bits by bits so it'll leave the readers on their tippy toes, yearning for more ;3. Add dialogues, hopefully soon? ^^ Keep each paragraphs a bit short. Again, it's all about the suspense and mysteriousness~ ^_^

I'm looking forward to reading chapter two! Or more of chapter one. =]
Again, my apologies if I have offended you two. May I ask, is this your [Ren's and Sakura's] first story?

Ganbatte! y^_^y

-babosooly
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21 / F / ♥California.♥
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Posted 6/28/08

babosooly wrote:

Since ratings are allowed, may I critique here as well? ^o^;;; (Forgive me if my critique may be harsh on you two. ^^;;)

Rating: 7/8

Thoughts on story: The plot itself is interesting ;].

Critiques for Sakura: You started off fairly well, in introducing a bit about the "day" girl and the "day/night" guy. Looking at the summary given on the group page, it's better if you didn't give out so much information about the split-personality guy. In a sense, it would be more interesting if you let us (your readers) get to know about him little by little as your story progresses.

Critiques for Ren-chanx: Like Sakura, there's a bit too much detail given. It kind of gives away the whole mystery as to why or how the main girl has her "split-personality" or her "double-mind". Would be better if the character and her situation is slowly revealed to the readers. Or you could have revealed about the "angel's" side first in chapter one and work on the "vampire" side in chapter 2 or so. Last paragraph, too long. Try to keep it short like your others. If it's too long, the reader loses his/her reading line (or that might just be me). xD Your 2nd para is a good example. If it's a bit longer, like a sentence or three more, it is OK. It's still not too long.

Crit for both: Chapter 1 ... let's see, I was looking forward to reading a few dialogues. In my opinion, chapter one feels more like a prologue (like a pre-chapter or you can call it chapter 0). It gave a good handful of summary, especially about the two girl's situation. After re-reading it over again, maybe it's better if Ren-chanx's part comes first, since it talks more about the girls. With how it is, it kinda has two separate stories to it... Be mysterious~~ ^o^ We'll die to know more! Most paragraphs are in good lengths.

Suggestions: Reveal each character one by one, or if you two decides to reveal them all together, do so in bits by bits so it'll leave the readers on their tippy toes, yearning for more ;3. Add dialogues, hopefully soon? ^^ Keep each paragraphs a bit short. Again, it's all about the suspense and mysteriousness~ ^_^

I'm looking forward to reading chapter two! Or more of chapter one. =]
Again, my apologies if I have offended you two. May I ask, is this your [Ren's and Sakura's] first story?

Ganbatte! y^_^y

-babosooly


yea, it's our first story........ we came up w/ th story a couple days ago, wen ren-chan was wondering how a person could b an angel during th day and a vampire by night, lyk my username say Vampire_Angel_Sakura...... cuz i wrote angel by day and vampire by night, so that's how we came up w/ th story..........
Posted 7/7/08
i give a 9! ^^
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21 / F / cali
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Posted 7/8/08
15 hahahahaha (: hello. im still bored.
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21 / F / ♥California.♥
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Posted 7/8/08

richellelovesyou wrote:

15 hahahahaha (: hello. im still bored. :D


*hee hee* that's funny!!
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M / any where but her...
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Posted 7/10/08
(blue) I say a 9.
Posted 7/19/08
9/10. It's a cool plot =P
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22 / F / ♫ Jonas Brothers...
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Posted 8/2/08
10!!!!i luv it!!XD
Posted 8/7/08
9 its really good!
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F / Philippines
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Posted 8/26/08
ahmm .. i think 9.. its a great story.. >.<
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21 / F
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Posted 8/31/08
Ya-ha! 1000000000000000000000000000!!! XP Ehehe XP ^_^ 10
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