(Yeah it lost miserably, but I wrote it on the spot as I do everything I write >.< so go easy on me)
What ever happened to the days of lazy summer? Watching the clouds whisp by and wondering why they all are so strange and different, and yet still seemed so familiar.
I can vaguely remember times when the most important things in my life could all be held in ones hand, things that had more meaning than value.
Now all of my possessions have a dollar amount, and tend to be held in importance accordingly.
If I struggle hard enough to remember I can still see the face of my favorite teddy bear; the tear on his left cheek puffing with cotton, from when my dog got a hold of him.
I don't even know what happened to that bear, lost in the constant moving or given away to goodwill, It's of not much importance anymore. What do I need a child's toy for?
At night I would clench to him to drown out the sounds of everyone else around me. I could live in my own world with him, a world I created on my own.
My parents often fought, and I suppose this was my way of escaping reality.
I remember the yard that seemed so large, I would lay for hours and stare into the sky. My mother wouldn't let me take my bear out to play, but he would hear of it during our time alone.
Looking back, the 'yard' was barely large enough to fit the word's meaning. And the bear would probably get even more dirty if he was taken outside
The trees seemed so green, and yet changed so quickly to different colors when the winds seemed to get colder.
Simple biology, leaves change colors during the fall, and eventually...
They seemed as mountains. Huge piles of leaves all over my lawn, I see the other children jumping into them and laughing, when I try this father got angry.
Who in their right mind wants to rake leaves a second time, children can be annoying at times.
That night I held as tightly as I could, the thought that if I held tightly enough he would take me away to my perfect world.
Children have such illusions from time to time, I suppose.
The days are getting shorter, so dark so early, and it gets colder and colder... Mom and Dad seem to argue more and more...
My mother never seemed quite happy with the 'family' life.
I don't like the cold, why can't it go back to being warm? I miss laying on grass... snow angels aren't as fun as they are made out to be.
I never liked the cold... still don't. But I suppose some things never change.
The snow just keeps getting taler and taller, eve taller than I am at some times... I wish mom would come back soon.
Winter always seems to be when I am most disappointed with life.
The snow is going away and yet I still haven't seen Mom. Dad says everything is alright, his crying keeps me up all night.
My father was still hopelessly in love with my mother, even after the affair.
Dad explains to me of how mom moved away, and how we'd be moving into an apartment. I miss mom.
Plain and simple, my mother chose him over us.
What ever happened to the seasons? All of a sudden life seems more important than them anymore. I miss my teddy bear...
As with everyone the initial wonder wears off, we become numbed by the pains of life setting in.
Dad tries to smile and make me happy all the time, I haven't seen mom now for a year. What happened to that year? Where did time go? Apartment walls are thinner...
I can remember my dad's tears for over 2 years from when my mom left... even if they were less frequent they were no less disheartening.
Mom came back! 2 years gone and she shows up out of the blue... 2 years? what have I done for 2 years?
Even thinking back it's like time stood still... I can't remember a single moment, only the tears.
I read a poem of how all things gold cannot stay... Why would I think this didn't apply to me? It's all I could do to try and drown out my Dad's cries with my own.
less than one month she had been back, and she moved back to him.
What ever happened to wonderment? This life seems so droll and boring anymore, time passing by without my noticing. Happy 16th birthday.
8 years a blur... and it only seems to go faster and faster as I age more.
Mom shows up in the area again, wants to be a part of my life again. She is a stranger.
8 years... just to show back up and want everything to be alright? I still don't get it.
I'm forced to go spend time with her, see her face, remember what I can... I hate it more than anything else.
I spent most of my time those days drowning myself in studies at school, Chemistry had a way of making me forget just about everything else.
3 years... I'm starting to see her as my mother now... barely. What do I care if she goes off again? people come people go.
I hadn't cried so hard in almost 9 years. Why did I take it so hard?
I feel kinda stupid, having cried over something like that. I now barely see my father anymore. It is such a hassle to get the time of day.
I hate being someone who distances myself... Dad was the only one who was there for me...
Services are this friday. The first time I've seen his face for 6 months... I hate myself for not being there for him, like he was for me.
And why was SHE there... It made it that much worse. I hope I never see her again.
I still cry at nights... It feels like just yesterday, these last 2 months have vanished within it.
It's still cold outside... Sometimes it feels like it pierces into my heart.
So here I am alone again. Possessions fill my heart, and emptiness fills my mind.
What ever happened to the lazy days of summer...
What ever happened to that young boy who loved life so much?
Again guys, like I said something I wrote on the spot, so be nice (or not, if you really didn't care for it at all)
Nothing gold can stay.
Wow, I just re-read this, it really was crap wasn't it?
maybe I should have at least done some reading/editing >.<
Nothing gold can stay.