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Sometimes Things Burdon Us
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Posted 7/26/08
As Kyuhyun fell asleep, exhausted from his crying, Eeteuk and Kibum gently eased Kyuhyun onto the bed just like they did yesterday. But the difference was that Kyuhyun did not look peaceful at all. There were tear streaks on his face, where a scared expression remained visible even in his sleep. Once placed on the bed, Kyuhyun immediately turned towards Eeteuk, hugging Kibum’s jacket close to him. It was as if he was afraid that Eeteuk would disappear despite Eeteuk’s reassurance.

Eeteuk stared at Kyuhyun sadly, wondering what exactly Kyuhyun had dreamt about to make him so scared and insecure. Kyuhyun had always evoked a strong sense of protection from Eeteuk, for some reason that Eeteuk had yet to figure out. Perhaps it was due to the fact that Kyuhyun had joined them later and was faced with all the criticism and people who did not want his presence in Super Junior. Kyuhyun never cried in front of Eeteuk during all these events, but Eeteuk caught the flashes of hurt that appeared when Kyuhyun thought no one was paying attention. Eeteuk’s attempts to comfort Kyuhyun were always rejected by Kyuhyun saying he was fine. Eeteuk was shocked when Kyuhyun called out for him just now and voluntarily thrown himself into Eeteuk. I knew I shouldn’t have left him alone. Subconsciously, Eeteuk was patting Kyuhyun’s head. Kyuhyun leaned in, savouring the care shown to him.

Kibum was frightened by the sight he saw when he entered the room. Never in his mind would he have expected Kyuhyun to trash about in bed and scream. It just was not Kyuhyun to do so. Kyuhyun was a quiet person. Everyone in the dorm could attest to that. Sometimes so quiet that one would forget his presence. Kibum had never seen Kyuhyun scream even when they were playing games. It was hard to tell what Kyuhyun was feeling as Kyuhyun kept his emotions on a tight leash, even more so when he was upset. The only time Kyuhyun came close to letting go that leash – Not counting this time – was the day everyone was in a bad mood. That day was horrible. But this is even worse. I don’t even know why!

Hankyung was upset to see Kyuhyun crying. Kyuhyun was one who kept his emotions close to him, never wanting to show too much to anyone, even Super Junior. Although he began to smile a little more and speak a little more after that incident, Kyuhyun still kept most of his emotions hidden behind a barrier. They had only managed to chip away one part of it. It’s almost like the Great Wall of China. Hankyung had a vague idea of what might have triggered the panic in Kyuhyun. There was one day when Hankyung noticed that Kyuhyun was smiling too often that it looked forced. That night Hankyung saw Kyuhyun looking out at the sky as if he was reminiscing. Kyuhyun looked so lonely that Hankyung had approached him to find out what was wrong. It was then that Hankyung knew that Kyuhyun’s best friend had died in a car accident few years back. To have a car accident happening to you and your teammates must had brought back the memories for Kyuhyun.

Donghae wanted to comfort Kyuhyun, but Eeteuk and Kibum had claimed Kyuhyun as theirs for the moment. Donghae still valued his life and would not come between Eeteuk and Kyuhyun when Eeteuk was in Umma mode. He wondered briefly what had made Kyuhyun hysterical. The way Kyuhyun leaned in to Eeteuk’s hand made Donghae mad. It showed the years of neglect that Kyuhyun had grown up with. Why would anyone do that? Donghae was almost of the mind of bringing Kyuhyun to his mother so that Kyuhyun could experience a mother’s love, even if it was not his own. His mother would surely not mind.

Heechul was shocked like the rest when he heard Kyuhyun plead to Eeteuk to promise him that he would not leave him alone. What exactly had happened to him that made him do that? Kyuhyun looked so vulnerable and small then that it triggered Heechul’s protective feelings. Kyuhyun wanted so much to be reassured that Heechul believed that someone close had left him before. The fact that Kyuhyun still turned towards Eeteuk even when he was asleep showed that Kyuhyun didn’t trust the answer. He must have had so many promises broken that he doesn’t trust them anymore. Heechul wanted to hunt down Kyuhyun’s parents and interrogate them for all the details. He couldn’t understand why any parent would do such things. Heechul vowed at that moment that Kyuhyun would never experience that again and that he would always take care of Kyuhyun.

Heechul was about to speak when the doctor came in.
“We need to check on him. Would you all like to leave and wait outside the room?”
Eeteuk made to stand, but halted when Kyuhyun whimpered. Unconsciously, Eeteuk’s hand went back to patting and playing with Kyuhyun’s hair. The whimpers stopped. Heechul glared at the doctor, daring him to send them out.
“Erm, you all could stay in the room, but please don’t disturb us.” The doctor immediately corrected.
Hankyung, Donghae and Heechul stood up to give space for the doctor to do his check-up.

“It looks like Kyuhyun-sshi is recovering fine. The screaming had not aggravated his injuries like I thought it would. The fact that he was able to scream that loud meant that he would probably recover fully. He should be able to sing like before. He would continue to experience some chest pain for a while and he is still not to strain himself with any singing practices.” The doctor said, unknowing that he had just brought the best news they had heard for the whole day. “I’ll leave him to you.” And the doctor left.

The doctor’s words had a double meaning. One was that they were allowed to stay and the other was asking them to take care of Kyuhyun with regards to the incident that just occurred. All five faces lit up as their minds registered what the doctor said. He will still be able to sing.

Just then, Kyuhyun groaned, waking up from his slight slumber. He froze when he felt someone’s hand on his hand. Eeteuk paused in his motions when he felt Kyuhyun tensed up.
“Hyung? What are you doing here?” Kyuhyun asked confused. He blushed a little when he realised that Eeteuk was patting him on the head and that he was caught hugging Kibum’s jacket. Kibum smiled a little as Kyuhyun offered Kibum’s jacket back to him still red in the face.
“Why. We’re visiting you of course. Why else would I be here at such an ungodly time.” Heechul answered, emphasizing the fact that it was still early by his standards.
“Really?” Kyuhyun’s hopeful voice told them that he didn’t expect anyone to visit him. Hankyung really wanted to punch something again.
“Yes, Kyu. We’re here to see you.”
Kyuhyun smiled a timid smile. “Thank you.”

They lapsed into silence, none of them knowing how to breach the topic. Kyuhyun was just enjoying the presence of his hyungs, happy that he was not alone. Finally Eeteuk spoke.
“Kyu, did you have a nightmare?”
Kyuhyun tensed. How did they know?
“Kyu, you were screaming for me just now and asking me to promise not to leave you. Why?” Eeteuk questioned, wanting to know.
“It was just a nightmare.” Kyuhyun looked away, refusing to say anymore.
“Kyu. It’s not just a nightmare.” Kibum spoke up.
“It was.”
“Please, we just want to help.” Donghae couldn’t stand seeing Kyuhyun upset.
Kyuhyun looked at Donghae, remembering his promise to Donghae. “Hankyung-hyung knows. Ask him.”
Everyone’s head swerved to Hankyung, who had a ‘huh’ look on his face. Heechul glared at Hankyung, demanding to know.
Kyuhyun, taking pity for throwing Hankyung to the wolves, took the attention back to himself with his next question.

“Did anyone call my mother? Is she coming?”
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Posted 7/26/08
Donghae, Heechul, Eeteuk and Kibum shifted their attention from Hankyung to Kyuhyun. They didn’t think that Kyuhyun would ask that question and so suddenly as well. None was prepared to give the answer. Kyuhyun had enough problems already. They didn’t want to upset him even more, especially when Kyuhyun stared at them, waiting patiently for an answer. None of them had the courage to tell Kyuhyun the truth.

“Kyu, we called your parents a few days ago.” Hankyung said, walking close to Kyuhyun. He felt that he had the duty to tell Kyuhyun something at least.
Kyuhyun nodded, acknowledging that he was listening. Hankyung was sure that he was not going to repeat the conversations he had word for word to Kyuhyun. No child needed to hear that coming from its parents.
“Your father is overseas right now…”
“You managed to reach him?” Kyuhyun interrupted, shocked. Hankyung only nodded, thinking that Kyuhyun must have not met his father for a long time, judging by the shock look on Kyuhyun’s face and the tone Mr Cho spoke in. Kyuhyun was amazed that they managed to reach his father. His father had never picked up his calls, even when he was still in Korea. Not that I called him often. Hankyung continued, not wanting Kyuhyun to dwell on his father. Not that his mother is any better.
“We called your mother as well. She said …” Hankyung trailed off, not knowing how to break the news to Kyuhyun.
From Hankyung’s silence, Kyuhyun guessed the answer. It was the same everytime.
“She’s too busy right?” And must have said that it’s my own fault that I’m in the hospital and blamed me for wasting her money.
Hankyung looked away, not wanting to be the one to confirm it. However, it was this action that confirmed it for Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun nodded to himself and proceeded to stare at the ceiling.
What am I hoping for? She has always been too busy for anything related to me. Why haven’t you learned your lesson, Cho Kyuhyun? But it still hurts. Even more so now. She, they don’t even care that I’m in the hospital. Am I that insignificant?

Eeteuk wanted to say something to Kyuhyun, anything would do, to comfort him, but for the first time, Eeteuk was at a loss of words. Kibum looked away, unable to stand seeing the sadness in Kyuhyun’s eyes, as well as the pain. Though it might be better than his expressionless expressions that leave us guessing how he is feeling. Hankyung didn’t know what to do. Being an only child, he had been showered with lots of love and concerns his entire life from his parents. Never had he experienced this before. Donghae reached out to hold Kyuhyun’s hand.
“Kyu, I’m sure they’ll want to see you.” Donghae lied, wanting to get rid of the sad expression that seemed to make itself a home on Kyuhyun’s face. Kyuhyun shook his head. He knew what Donghae was trying to do. He had heard that many times from his teachers in school. But they never came.
“Hyung, can I be alone?” Kyuhyun asked, not wanting his hyungs to catch him so weak.

Donghae was at a loss. He really didn’t know what to do.

Heechul walked over to the bed, ignoring everyone else. He took off his shoes and slid onto the bed. Kibum was wondering what Heechul was doing. But right now, he didn’t care. As long as one of them could comfort Kyuhyun, Kibum didn’t care what they did.

Heechul placed Kyuhyun in between his legs, with Kyuhyun’s back to his chest in a sitting position with their legs stretched out. Kyuhyun tried to struggle but Heechul’s grip was too strong.
“Hyung. Let me go.”
“No, Kyu. I’m not letting you go.”
“Please Hyung.” It was silence around them as the rest watched on.
“Kyuhyun. Let it go. It’s okay to want your parents. I did too when I was in the hospital. But they couldn’t come. It hurts to know that. But it’s okay. Just let it go.”
Heechul whispered into Kyuhyun’s ears words meant only for Kyuhyun. However, in the room where one could almost hear a pin drop, everyone heard it. What Heechul said was true, but he understood that his parents couldn’t make it was not because they could not be bothered. It was different with Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun shook his head, refusing to cry. No, you’re not weak. You’re not going to cry. But Kyuhyun was glad that Heechul was not trying to bluff him. Heechul was the first person to tell him that it was okay to feel hurt. Kyuhyun wanted so badly to believe it, but in some part of his heart, he doubted Heechul’s words. Then Kyuhyun felt Kibum grabbed his hand.
“Kibum-hyung, why are you crying?” Kyuhyun tried to raise his hands to wipe off the tears, but Kibum held them tight in front of him. Kibum had tears rolling down his face.
“Because you won’t. I’ll cry for you. For as many times as you need me to.”
Kyuhyun was taken aback. Nobody had cried for him before and nobody had done that for him, ever.
“Hyung. Please don’t cry. It’s okay. I’m not upset. It’s normal that she’s busy. Please. Don’t cry because of me.” Kyuhyun didn’t think he was worthy of Kibum’s tears. Kyuhyun held on tightly to Kibum’s hands, almost begging for Kibum to stop.
“Hyunnie, you are upset. There’s no need to hold it in. We’re all one family here.” Donghae spoke up by Kibum’s side, his hands holding onto Kibum’s shoulders. Hankyung and Eeteuk nodded on the other side, holding each other’s hands for comfort. Kyuhyun could almost feel his resolve crumbling as he looked at his hyungs. Heechul’s warmth was also very soothing. It was the first time in his memories that someone had hugged him like that.
“Hyung…”

“Stop crying. You’re a boy. Boys don’t cry easily. If you’re my son, you’ll stop crying this instant!”
His mother’s voice rang through his head.

Eeteuk was relieved that Kyuhyun was finally going to confide in them. He was not keen to see any of his dongsaengs cry, but Eeteuk understood in his heart that for Kyuhyun to heal emotionally from the hurt and neglect was for him to cry and let it all out. Eeteuk was about to be disappointed.

When Kyuhyun looked as though his dam was going to break, it miraculously restored itself.

“Hankyung-hyung! What happened to your hand?”

All their hearts fell as they heard Kyuhyun’s exclamation. Kibum felt like crying more if not for the hug Donghae gave him. Hankyung was berating himself. Why didn’t I hide it?
Heechul knew that they had just missed the opportunity, Eeteuk knew that as well. They were so close, yet at the last minute Kyuhyun decided to close the door on them. Heechul sighed, that was as far as they could go for the day. Heechul hoped that they had at least broken down a wall surrounding Kyuhyun’s heart. Or at least cracked it. The rest settled around Kyuhyun, preparing to answer Kyuhyun’s question but withholding the real reason behind the injury. They didn’t want Kyuhyun to hear the conversation between Hankyung and his parents.

Almost too soon, visiting hours were over. The doctor did not allow all of them to stay, compromising that only one of them could stay. Heechul volunteered to stay. His decision to stay shocked everyone, though his reasoning amazed everyone that he thought so far.
“Teukie is still recovering, Kyungie has an injured hand that needs rest, Kibummie needs to sleep more – he’s been worrying to much and Hae is to drive them home seeing that none of you want me to drive.”
Hankyung and Donghae shuddered. They still remembered Heechul’s driving. Heechul smirked, sending the rest out of the room.
“Go home and rest. I want my time with alone with Kyuhyunnie.”
Hankyung shook his head at Heechul’s words before pushing Eeteuk gently out of the room. Donghae waved goodbye to Kyuhyun, who smiled back, before grabbing Kibum and leaving the room. Heechul closed the door and walked back to Kyuhyun.
“Hyung, you didn’t have to stay.”
“Hyahh. Stop saying that! You could at least say thank you to your hyung for staying!” Heechul protested.
Kyuhyun laughed slightly at Heechul’s antics.
“Thank you Hyung for staying.” Kyuhyun repeated obediently, though he was truly grateful that someone was there to stay with him.
“That’s more like it.” Heechul messed up Kyuhyun’s hair. With that action, Heechul removed almost all the sadness that bathed in the room for the whole day.
“Hyung! Don’t mess up my hair!” Kyuhyun tried to dodge to no avail.
“Kyuhyun. Want to hear a piece of good news?” Heechul said and stopped in his tickling of Kyuhyun. He suddenly remembered that Kyuhyun still didn’t know what the doctor told them.
Kyuhyun looked at Heechul eagerly, like a little puppy. Heechul could almost see a tail wagging behind.
“You can sing. The doctor said you could sing!”
“What?” Kyuhyun couldn’t believe his ears. “I can sing? Really? He really said so?”
Heechul bobbed his head up and down rapidly.
“I can sing! Hyung, I really can!” Kyuhyun reached out his arms. Heechul gathered him into a hug.
“Yes you can. We will hear it in a few days time. The doctor said to rest for a few more days.”
Kyuhyun wasn’t listening to him. “I can sing Hyung. I can!”

That night, they ordered take-out as Eeteuk refused to let Hankyung cook.
“The doctor said to rest. You’re not to cook for tonight and tomorrow. I’m sure we’ll be able to survive for one day without your cooking.”
Hankyung gave in, not having the energy to argue with Eeteuk after the stressful day. Besides the only people who can out-argue Eeteuk-hyung are Kangin and Heechul-hyung.

The rest were surprised that they were eating take-out.
“How come we’re having take-out today?” Eunhyuk asked, curious.
“It’s my thank you present for the party yesterday.” Eeteuk answered, not exactly lying, but he didn’t want the rest to notice that Hankyung was injured. It would raise too many questions which none of them have the effort to answer right now.
Everyone digged in happily. “Thanks hyung!”
Eeteuk could almost see the big hole that was slowly appearing in his wallet. Though Eeteuk was happy to see that the rest of his dongsaengs were so carefree. If only Kyuhyun was here to enjoy it.

Eeteuk didn’t expect Ryeowook and Yesung to walk quietly to Hankyung who was next to Eeteuk after dinner.
“Hankyung-hyung how’s your hand?” Ryeowook asked quietly. Eeteuk had almost forgotten that Ryeowook and Yesung were the first people to know about Kyuhyun’s parents.
“It’s fine. The doctor just told me to rest for a while. Eeteuk-hyung has forbidden me from cooking tomorrow.”
Ryeowook nodded, happy that Hankyung was fine. Yesung spoke up. “How’s Kyuhyun today?”
They didn’t get a chance to visit Kyuhyun due to their work schedule. “Does he know about them?” Yesung whispered to Hankyung, checking if Eeteuk-hyung knew. Hankyung nodded, his eyes darkening at the thought of Kyuhyun’s parents.
“Kyuhyun’s … fine. The doctor says he’s recovering well. He should be able to sing like before.” Hankyung decided not to tell them about Kyuhyun’s episode, not wanting to scare Ryeowook. Yesung noted the pause, but decided not to pursue it in favour of the good news.
“Really? Did you hear that, Yesung-hyung? Kyuhyun will be fine!” Ryeowook turned to Yesung, exclaiming his happiness. Yesung bobbed his head, also ecstatic about the news. He couldn’t wait till the time the three of them could sing together as a group and for Super Junior to be whole again.
“Let’s go see him tomorrow!”
“Wookie, we got a talk show to go on tomorrow.” Ryeowook pouted as Hankyung reminded him of their schedule.
“I’ll tell Kyuhyun that you all miss him when I go there tomorrow.” Eeteuk assured Ryeowook. Ryeowook nodded, pacified for the time being.

Heechul sat on the chair next to the bed. Kyuhyun had fallen asleep a while ago, still hugging Kibum’s jacket as a safety blanket. I think Kibum needs to get a new jacket. Heechul smiled at Kyuhyun. It was only then that Heechul noticed how young Kyuhyun looked. Kyuhyun was not small in size, and thus was easily mistaken by many people to be older than he was supposed to be. A part of the reason was also because Kyuhyun always acted mature and beyond his age, going around with a serious expression. But right now, lying on the hospital bed and hugging Kibum’s jacket like a stuff toy – Maybe we should get him one for when we can’t be around – Kyuhyun looked engulfed by the bed like a little child. Heechul wanted to gather Kyuhyun in his arms to provide the love that Kyuhyun should have taken for granted.
“I will be here like you were there for me.”
Heechul settled for holding Kyuhyun’s hand and staring at him for the night as his thoughts returned to the past.

Heechul was sleeping in the hospital a few days after his accident. But he didn’t sleep well on the bed. He was just not used to it. Then he heard someone open the door. Heechul decided to pretend to sleep, as he didn’t feel like talking to anyone, although he did wonder who would visit at such a late hour.
“Hyung, are you asleep?” No answer.
Kyuhyun? Heechul was almost tempted to open his eyes to confirm. He wouldn’t have expected Kyuhyun of all Super Junior to be the one to sneak in and visit him at night.
“I’m glad you’re okay. I really am. Not that you’re okay okay, but you’re okay.” Kyuhyun spoke softly next to Heechul, both hands grasping Heechul’s right hand.
Heechul wanted to smile. It was funny to hear Kyuhyun sound confused.
“I’m glad you’re here with us. That you didn’t leave us didn’t leave Donghae-hyung at such a time. That you didn’t leave me.” Kyuhyun’s voice became softer and softer. Heechul thought that he had imagined the last line. Listening to Kyuhyun made Heechul sleepy and he slowly fell asleep. When he woke up, Kyuhyun had already left, not leaving any evidence that he was there the previous night.

Heechul noticed that Kyuhyun came almost every night unless Super Junior had an event on that night. Heechul wondered briefly why no one noticed that Kyuhyun wasn’t at the dorm. But Heechul was glad for Kyuhyun’s company. He fell asleep more easily and slept better with Kyuhyun’s presence. Apart from the first night, Kyuhyun didn’t talk when he came. Kyuhyun simply sat there, holding on to Heechul’s hand. The next time Kyuhyun spoke was when Heechul was getting frustrated with his long stay at the hospital and his broken leg. Heechul was beginning to doubt if he would ever return back to stage.

“Hyung, we all missed you. Practice isn’t as fun without you around. The fans missed you too. It’s nice to have people miss you. At least they’ve noticed your presence. Hyung, I know you’re getting frustrated but you must be patient. Super Junior cannot exist without Kim Heechul. But can you exist without Super Junior? If you can, then I’ve got nothing to say. If you can’t, then Hyung. Don’t give up. We’ll all be there to catch you if you fall. We’ll all be there waiting to welcome you back.” Pause.
“Hyung. I know you’re awake and I know you heard me. Please just think about it.”

Kyuhyun had surprised Heechul with his words. Heechul never suspected Kyuhyun to be that direct. By the time Heechul opened his eyes, he was alone in the room. Kyuhyun’s words made Heechul ponder the whole night before finally reaching an answer.
“I can’t do without Super Junior. I will be back. Wait for me.”

What Heechul didn’t know was that Kyuhyun broke down outside his room that night, only to be found by Kibum and Hankyung.

Heechul smiled at that memory.
“It’s because of you that I’m still here Kyu. It’s because of you that I’m able to recover that fast and not lose motivation. I’ll be here when you need me. That I swear.”

Kyuhyun showed no indication that he heard Heechul’s promise. Heechul continued to stare at Kyuhyun with the slight moonlight shining through. He looks like an angel. An angel in need of healing. And we will be his guardian angel by his side for every step he’ll take.
Heechul fell asleep with his head on Kyuhyun’s arm.

The nurse, who came in wanting to ask if Heechul required another bed, giggle at the sight and left the room quietly.
I wish I had a camera.
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Posted 7/26/08
For the next few days, Super Junior started to pick up their work pace. One week’s break was all the management managed to give Super Junior. Even Eeteuk couldn’t spend much time with Kyuhyun as well as they were easing Eeteuk back to the full scale of Super Junior activities. Kyuhyun didn’t mind as that meant that Eeteuk-hyung was recovering fine, though Kyuhyun did get lonely at times, especially during the long nights. Kyuhyun had given Kibum’s jacket to Eeteuk to pass to Kibum.
“I think Kibum-hyung needs his jacket.” was the reason Kyuhyun gave.
Losing his safety ‘blanket’, Kyuhyun had trouble falling asleep at night, but he didn’t want to appear like a child in front of his hyungs. Kyuhyun had started to take naps in the day to make up for his lost sleep at night. He had also tried to sing softly to himself when he was alone, after learning that he could still sing. Although he wasn’t at his best yet, he could sing a whole verse without any chest pain. Kyuhyun was ecstatic but there was no one to share the joy with. He didn’t have his phone, so Kyuhyun had no way of contacting Super Junior. Not that I should disturb them at work.

As Kyuhyun was engrossed in his thoughts, he didn’t hear the commotion that was coming closer to his room.
“Kyuhyun!” Eunhyuk’s exclamation shocked Kyuhyun. He immediately looked up from his sitting position on the bed to the door.
“Guess who’s here!” Eunhyuk moved aside dramatically, letting the rest in.
One by one, Eeteuk, Heechul, Hankyung, Yesung, Kangin, Shindong, Sungmin, Donghae, Siwon, Ryeowook and Kibum entered. Kyuhyun was dumbfounded. He didn’t expect all his hyungs to come at the same time. Each of them gave Kyuhyun their own greeting. Eeteuk kissed his forehead before fussing over him. Kangin came to mess his hair, earning an indignant “Hyung!” from Kyuhyun, before stopping Eeteuk in his fussing. Heechul simply stood at one side, pretending that Kyuhyun should be the one to initiate the greeting instead. Hankyung and Siwon smiled and nodded their head at Kyuhyun. Donghae waved wildly from his position by Eunhyuk. Sungmin did the same from where he stood next to Shindong. Shindong said “Hey!” to Kyuhyun while Yesung tried to mess up Kyuhyun’s hair as well. The other two manages each gave Kyuhyun a hug.

“Hyung! How come you’re all here?”
“Kyuhyunnie! Didn’t I tell you before? Just say ‘Thank you Hyung for being here!’” That was of course from Heechul who elbowed his way to Kyuhyun’s side. Kyuhyun laughed and nodded.
“Thank you Hyung for coming to visit me!”
Kyuhyun’s eyes had lit up, which everyone noticed. They were glad. Donghae and Kibum were especially so since it was a change from the sombre atmosphere they were engulfed in when they saw Kyuhyun previously. However, both knew that that matter was not settled yet. It was just nice to take a break from all the worrying.

“Kyuhyunnie! I’ve brought something for you!” Sungmin bounced excitedly to Kyuhyun, pulling Shindong behind him.
“Come Shindong-hyung! Don’t be slow. I wanna show Kyuhyun his present!”
Present? Don’t tell me it’s a pink blanket. Kyuhyun wished his memory was not that good.
Kyuhyun had an apprehensive look on his face, not knowing what Sungmin would give him.
“Guess what it is!” Sungmin grabbed the paper bag from Shindong, shoving it in Kyuhyun’s face.
“Er…”
“It’s a blanket! Open it!”
I hope it’s not pink. Kyuhyun prayed before opening the paper bag. He peered in to sneak a peek and mentally sighed in relief. He reached in and slowly pulled the blanket out. Anticipation was in the air. Everyone was curious about Sungmin’s present. Sungmin had managed to keep it a secret from the rest besides Shindong whom Sungmin enlisted for help.

Slowly a light blue cloth emerged from the bag. As Kyuhyun pulled it out, he was genuinely surprised that there wasn’t a single bit of pink that is largely visible on the blanket. It was a light blue blanket with little dark blue strips scattered across the blanket. It was simple yet beautiful. It emitted a calm feeling. Kyuhyun began to examine the whole blanket when he spotted some stitches at the corner of the blanket. He raised it up close to him to take a better look. Is that?

The corner of the blanket was stitched with the words, “Super Junior forever!” followed by all thirteen names: Jungsu-Umma, Youngwoon-Appa, Heechul, Hankyung, Yesung, Shindong, Sungmin, Eunhyuk, Donghae, Siwon, Ryeowook, Kibum, Kyuhyun.

“Hyung, did you do this?” Kyuhyun lifted the blanket up showing everyone the stitches.
Sungmin nodded, turning slightly red. “Shindong helped me as well.”
Everyone leaned forward to see what caught Kyuhyun’s attention. They all noticed the words and their names. Eeteuk clapped happily. “I’m Umma and Kangin’s Appa!”
Kangin protested weakly. “I’m not Appa.”
Heechul nodded contently. “Good job Sungmin. You’ve placed just enough stars around my name.”
Hankyung mumbled curiously. “I’m the cook?” pointing at the spatula next to his name.
“What’s with the musical notes by my name?” Yesung asked.
Siwon merely nodded at the cross-sewn near his name.
Sungmin stared happily at the pink bunnies surrounding his name. He didn’t think that Kyuhyun would appreciate a pink blanket, but he was glad that he managed to put some pinkness onto the blanket.
Shindong’s name was surrounded by food, which made Shindong very hungry whenever he was sewing it.
“Video games? Why? I’m lousy at them.” Eunhyuk whined, not understanding why it was video games.
“Aliens! Fishy! How did you sew this?” Donghae exclaimed gleefully, seeing his fascinations on the blanket.
“Hyung! I don’t need a milk bottle.” Ryeowook pouted at the implication that he was a baby, though everyone knows that he was the eternal magnae.
Kibum didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the books surrounding his name.
As for Kyuhyun, hearts surrounded his name. “It’s our love for you.” Sungmin clarified at Kyuhyun’s questioning glance.
Everyone was touched by Sungmin’s gift.
“Thank you Hyung. Thank you so much.” Kyuhyun’s heartfelt thanks, although whispered as he brought the blanket to his chest, was the best thing Eeteuk, Heechul, Hankyung, Donghae and Kibum had heard from Kyuhyun for the past few days.

As everyone settled around the room, although they would be leaving soon, Kibum suddenly jumped up from his seat.
“Ah! I almost forgot!” Kibum started to search his bag with everyone staring curiously at him. “Ahha! Found it!” Kibum pulled out a wrapped present from his bag.
“Here, Kyu. This is for you. We know that we may not be here with you all the time. So we bought a substitute. Treat this as us and you will always feel the love that we have for you.”
Kyuhyun reached over to take the present from Kibum. Kibum stared as Kyuhyun opened the present.

Super Junior was heading back to their dorms after practice. They didn’t end practice that late that day, but they were still tired. Kibum, Heechul, Ryeowook, Sungmin and Siwon were in one van while the rest were in the other. Most of them were just nodding off when Kibum suddenly shouted for the van to stop. The other four jerked awake.
“Huh? What happened?” Siwon asked, being the one that was not fully asleep besides Kibum.
“Nothing! I just want to go to the toy store!” With that, Kibum jumped out of the van, which had just come to a complete stop by the roadside.
“Wait Kibum!” Siwon jumped out to follow, but not before telling their driver to wait for them. Heechul, Ryeowook and Sungmin rubbed their eyes tiredly, trying to figure out what had happened.
“Did Kibummie just jumped out of the van to the store and Siwonnie followed?” Sungmin asked, confused.
Ryeowook nodded, still unsure of why Kibum did it. Heechul stared at the open door and then it clicked. Oh. He must be buying a stuff animal for Kyuhyun. I almost forgot about it.
And indeed when Kibum came back with Siwon, he was holding a plastic bag. Their van began to head towards the dorm again. Kibum looked very pleased with himself.
“Kim Kibum. What did you think you were doing?’” Siwon questioned, a little angry at Kibum’s reckless actions.
Kibum looked up at Siwon and saw the slightly angry look. The pleased look faded a little. “I’m sorry Hyung. I didn’t think. I just wanted to get something for Kyuhyun.” Kibum showed his puppy eyes at Siwon, hoping to convince Siwon that he really purely wanted to get a present for Kyuhyun. Siwon sighed. Why are my dongsaengs all so good at giving puppy eyes?
“Alright. Just don’t do that again.” Kibum nodded. “So what did you get Kyuhyun?”
“Oh, I got him this!” Kibum showed them what he got. It was a grey elephant that was about fifty centimetres tall and looked positively huggable. Ryeowook and Sungmin immediately gushed over it, hugging it to themselves to feel the softness of the stuffed toy.
“I wanted Kyuhyun to have something that reminded him of us, that could be a substitute of us when we can’t be there for him.” The rest nodded, understanding the reason for the present.

Kyuhyun stared at the grey elephant for so long that everyone was afraid that he didn’t like it.
“Kyuhyun, you don’t like it?”
Kyuhyun shook his head slowly. “Then what’s wrong?”
Kyuhyun took the elephant and hugged it to himself. “It feels just like you all.” Soft and cuddly and full of love.
“Thank you Hyung. I will hug it to sleep every night.”
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It was a happy evening for Super Junior. Kyuhyun was basking in the love and concern of the rest while everyone else was in high spirits because Kyuhyun was jovial. Eeteuk was content to sit by Kyuhyun’s side as the rest told stories about their days away from Kyuhyun. Kibum was quietly observing Kyuhyun. He was pleased that Kyuhyun looked genuinely happy and interested in his hyungs’ activities. All too soon, it was time for them to leave. One by one they said farewell, each promising to visit whenever they can. As Yesung was about to leave, Kyuhyun reached out to grab his hand. Yesung halted in his steps.
“Yesung-hyung.”

Yesung turned back to Kyuhyun, cocking his head to the side, puzzled. Kyuhyun signalled to Yesung with his hand that was not holding on to the elephant to bend down. The blanket that Sungmin and Shindong had given him was already lying over his lap, replacing the dull white hospital blanket. Yesung bent down, now really curious why Kyuhyun was being so secretive.

Ryeowook had noticed that Yesung was not behind him as they were walking towards the door. He turned his head to call out. Then he saw Yesung crouched down beside Kyuhyun’s bed with Kyuhyun whispering something to Yesung’s ear. Yesung’s expression went from puzzled to shock – where Kyuhyun leaned in to whisper again – and finally, a wide smile dawned on Yesung’s face.

“Yesung-hyung, I can sing.” Kyuhyun whispered, cupping his hands to Yesung’s ear. Yesung was shocked. What? Kyuhyun felt like laughing. Yesung looked like he was imitating a goldfish with his mouth open.
“I can sing.” Kyuhyun whispered again.

Kyuhyun had decided to tell Yesung because he knew that Yesung-hyung was the most worried about his singing. Although he wasn’t sure if Yesung-hyung knew what the doctor had said previously, he guessed that Yesung might have found out from Eeteuk.

Yesung did know about what the doctor had said and also Kyuhyun’s episode, but not from Eeteuk. Yesung had cornered Donghae one day after their practice. Yesung knew that Donghae had gone to visit Kyuhyun. He had already suspected that Eeteuk and Hankyung were holding something back that day, but he chose not to pursue it in front of Ryeowook. Yesung was shaken when he learned that Kyuhyun was screaming for Eeteuk. And he called him Jungsu-hyung. Kyuhyun had never called us by our real name before. Yesung promised that he would join Heechul-hyung in his revenge plan on Kyuhyun’s parents. What made him so insecure about confiding in others? Even people he lives 24/7 with for quite a while. Yesung was taken aback when Donghae said that there was a possibility that Kyuhyun may not be able to sing like before. Donghae hastened to correct his words when he saw Yesung’s crestfallen face.
“However, the doctor said that Kyuhyun should be able to sing wonderfully again since Kyuhyun was able to scream so loud.”
Donghae and Yesung smiled thinly at each other. At least something good came out of that episode.

Thus when Kyuhyun whispered that he could sing to Yesung, Yesung froze temporarily. Yesung’s mind knew that the doctor had given the thumbs-up sign, but his heart still held on to some irrational fear that Kyuhyun may not be able to sing again. Not that we will abandon him no matter what happens.
So when Kyuhyun whispered again, Yesung could almost feel his heart jump out. He was on cloud nine. Yesung pulled Kyuhyun into a tight hug and shouted, “Kyuhyun can sing!”
Kyuhyun merely giggled and hugged Yesung back. He too was terribly happy about this fact.

Ryeowook couldn’t believe his ears. “Kyuhyun can sing?” He mumbled out to himself. As the words made sense in his brain, he was already walking towards the two to make it a three-way hug.

Siwon’s hand froze on the door. He had just opened the door slightly when he heard Yesung’s shout. Eunhyuk banged into Siwon, causing Siwon to knock his head against the door. Eunhyuk was walking close behind Siwon, talking animatedly to Sungmin about why it was video games around his name. He had caught Yesung’s shout but couldn’t stop in time, hence crashing into Siwon.

“Ouch!”
“Ahh. I’m sorry Siwonnie. So sorry. I couldn’t control and stop in time.”

Eunhyuk immediately apologised and turned Siwon around to face him. He leaned in, his face coming very close to Siwon, checking if there was any visible damage or a nosebleed. Sungmin giggled by his side, before Yesung’s words registered in his mind. He whipped around, accidentally losing his footing and crashed into Eunhyuk and Siwon. They all fell on the floor with Siwon banging the back of his head against the door. The door closed upon the impact.

“Oww!” Eunhyuk shouted. “Sungminnie!”
“Oops. I’m sorry!” Sungmin hurriedly got off Eunhyuk. Eunhyuk pushed himself off the floor and looked at Siwon.
“Siwon, are you okay? You look kind of dazed.” Eunhyuk stared at Siwon.

Siwon shook his head, trying to get rid of the stars flying around his head. “I’m fine Hyung.” His hand coming up to rub the bump at the back of his head. I’m not walking in front next time.

Donghae and Heechul were openly laughing at the three of them, hanging on to each other for support. They did hear what Yesung shouted, but their reactions to that were override by the situation Eunhyuk, Sungmin and Siwon found themselves in.

Kibum was walking behind Sungmin when they heard Yesung. Lucky for him, Kibum had fast reactions and was able to avoid being the fourth person in the heap. He managed to stop before tripping over Sungmin’s legs, though he wasn’t exactly sure how he did it since his mind was preoccupied with the news he just learned. Kibum reached out a hand to give Sungmin a pull off the floor.

Shindong had stopped when he noticed that Ryeowook was staring at Kyuhyun. He was about to tell Ryeowook that they would visit Kyuhyun soon again when they both heard Yesung. Before Shindong could react, Ryeowook was already in a hug with the other two and the three were on the floor.

Eeteuk had freeze when he heard “Kyuhyun can sing!” His mind couldn’t wrap itself behind that news, even though he knew that it would happen. He could almost feel the excitement bubbling in his stomach when he heard the crash. He turned instantaneously towards the sound and saw Sungmin, Eunhyuk and Siwon on the floor. He hurried towards them, afraid that they were injured.

“Minnie, Hyukie, Siwonnie, are you all alright? What happened?” Eeteuk began fussing over Siwon who was still on the floor with a dazed look. Eunhyuk was still staring at Siwon apologetically.

“I’m fine. Eunhyuk-hyung and Sungmin-hyung accidentally bumped into me. I just have a small bump on my head.” Siwon tried to reassure Eeteuk, but as soon as the words left his mouth, Siwon regretted.

“What? A bump? Where is it? Let me see. Do you need a doctor? Are you dizzy? Maybe we should call a doctor. Kangin-ah…”

Kangin heard Yesung’s words and his mind registered them instantly. Kangin was glad. They won’t be missing any voices anymore. Then he heard the crash. He saw the three on the floor and briefly wondered how they got there, when he saw Eeteuk in Umma mode heading towards them. Kangin sighed, resigning himself to stop Eeteuk in his fussing.

Hankyung was still near the bed when Yesung shouted. He turned towards the bed, trying to determine if nothing was wrong with his hearing. As he saw Yesung hug Kyuhyun and then Ryeowook joining in, he knew that he heard correctly. He beamed at the sight of K.R.Y hugging each other, Ryeowook with tears of happiness rolling down. Kyuhyun was barely visible in the hug. He turned towards the crash when he heard it. He shook his head in exasperation at the two laughing hyenas as well as the three on the floor. He could almost picture what happened.

Kyuhyun, Ryeowook and Yesung had turned their attention to the crash, still not letting go of each other. They giggled slightly at the sight.

When everything calmed down, they turned their attention back to what led to the crash in the first place.
“Kyu, was what Yesung-hyung said true?” Kibum asked.
“More like shouted and scared me to hell.” Eunhyuk mumbled, still unhappy that he got a scolding from Eeteuk about being faster next time in his reactions. No one listened to him as they focus their attention on Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun, still unused to have everyone’s attention on him, nodded shyly. Sungmin squealed happily. He had missed Kyuhyun’s voice.

“Sing for us Kyuhyunnie!” Sungmin requested.
“Yah. Sing for us!” Eunhyuk and Donghae soon joined in.
“Sing. Sing. Sing. Sing. Sing.”

“Alright! We’ll sing for you.” Yesung interrupted the almost tribal chant. Kyuhyun was slowly hiding behind Yesung, blushing from the request. Yesung nodded at Ryeowook as the three quickly conversed about what they want to sing. The rest quickly placed themselves at comfortable positions around the room.

Eeteuk sat on the chair next to Kyuhyun’s bed, with Kangin behind him. Hankyung occupied the sofa chair and Heechul pounced to sit on him, refusing to move. Hankyung sighed, resigned to his fate. Siwon sat on the armrest with Shindong on the other armrest. Eunhyuk, Donghae and Sungmin kneeled down by the bed, propping their heads up with their arms, looking like little puppies wagging their tails, eagerly waiting for their owner. Or is it a monkey, a puppy and a rabbit? Kibum hid his smile behind his hand as he chose to lean against the wall facing Kyuhyun.

The three took a deep breath and sang.

The nurse opened the door to reprimand them for making so much noise in the hospital. She stopped when she heard the beautiful melody.

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder
Of a fairytale
You can take the future
Even if you fail

The nurse swallowed the words back as she listened. The voices worked so well together with each other, behaving almost like one. She stood by the door, which was still slightly open, allowing herself to be immersed in the song.

I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I’ll cross the stream
I have a dream

Hankyung closed his eyes, enjoying the music. The three weren’t K.R.Y for nothing. He never realised how much he had missed his dongsaengs singing. And listening to the song made him remember his dream and knowing that his dream was fulfilling itself right here right now with the people in the room.

Siwon could almost feel the pain on his head soothed by the singing. It was positively brilliant. Kyuhyun’s baritone fitted just nice with Yesung’s bass and Ryeowook’s slightly higher voice. Siwon smiled.

Kangin rested his hands on Eeteuk’s shoulders. He felt as if the world was just them – Super Junior – and no one else. This moment belonged to them alone.

Oh yeah
I have a dream (have a dream)
A fantasy (fantasy)
To help me through (help me through)
Reality (reality)
And my destination (destination)
Makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness (pushing through the darkness baby)
Still another mile

Donghae could feel the slight pricks of tears coming to his eyes. Kyuhyun’s solo proved that he was back. It was still as powerful as before and filled with emotions. It was the best song he ever heard in his entire life and he committed this memory to his heart. Kyuhyun, you’re wonderful.

Sungmin held onto Donghae while immersing himself in the music. Their voices worked well together. Sungmin used to be slightly jealous that they had such good voices. But now Sungmin was contented to listen to them sing. I could listen forever.

Eunhyuk’s tears were flowing down his face. Kyuhyun’s really fine. It was there and then that Eunhyuk let go of all his fears and guilt about the accident. It was then that Eunhyuk was able to replace the memory of Kyuhyun lying still on the ground with this memory of the finest singing Eunhyuk had ever heard.

Shindong, like Eunhyuk, was just able to let go of his residue fear from his heart. To him, this was the proof he was waiting for – that Kyuhyun was fine. We’re going to be Super Junior forever!

I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see (everything I see yeah)
I believe in angels (I believe in angels)
When I know the time is right for me (time is right for me)
I’ll cross the stream
I have a dream

Heechul leaned against Hankyung, letting his body absorb the music. He never took his eyes off Kyuhyun. He made sure to commit every one of Kyuhyun’s expressions to memory. Kyuhyun looked so innocent and child like when he let himself be engrossed in the music. Heechul wanted to remember every single detail so that he could let Kyuhyun’s parents know exactly what they had given up.

Kibum looked on from his position by the wall. Tears flowed slowly down his face as he listened with his heart to every word and tone the three were singing. It told him of the simple love Kyuhyun carried for singing. It told him of the care and love he had for Super Junior, something that Kyuhyun never directly said out before. It also told Kibum that they all had the same dream, a dream to sing and dance as Super Junior for as long as possible.

Eeteuk smiled even as tears rolled down. He had understood the pain and fear that Kyuhyun felt when he first heard that he might not be able to sing again. Kyuhyun wasn’t one to show his emotions but the sharp pain in Kyuhyun’s eyes that Eeteuk caught told everything. Seeing Kyuhyun sing with Ryeowook and Yesung, Eeteuk could only imagine the joy Kyuhyun felt. Eeteuk couldn’t help but smile and cry at the same time at the scene. It was picturesque, in addition to the heavenly music flowing in harmony.

I have a dream (oh yeah)
A song to sing (song to sing)
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder (if you see the wonder)
Of a fairy tale (of a fairy tale)
You can take the future
Even if you fail

Ryeowook sang to his fullest, dedicating this song to Kyuhyun and the rest of Super Junior. Ryeowook could hear the happiness in Kyuhyun’s voice and marvelled at Kyuhyun. He didn’t lose touch at all. Ryeowook smiled. K.R.Y was back.

Yesung too gave his best to the song. They chose this song because it spoke of their dream and of the hope for the future. Yesung closed his eyes and looked up to the ceiling as he sang. No, you’re not going to cry. You’re going to make sure that you finish this song perfectly.

It’s a dream come true. Kyuhyun was totally absorbed in his singing. He gave his everything; all his feelings came tumbling out. His love for singing regardless of what his mother said – though a small part of doubt still remained – his love for his hyungs, which he had never said to them, his dream of being a singer, and his latest hope of being a family with his hyungs. This was the first time that Kyuhyun let go of his worries that he might not be good enough. It was a performance worth a lifetime.

I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see (everything)
I believe in angels (yeah)
When I know the time is right for me (right for me)
I’ll cross the stream (cross the stream)
I have a dream (have a dream)

People all stopped near the room as they were walking along the corridor. Everything seemed to have paused in time. People walked on after stopping with a smile on their faces. Everything will be okay. That was the thought that went through most people’s mind. The song was soothing and removed all the worries they had, be it for a family member staying in the hospital, or worries about work and studies. The music made them realise that there was much more to life and they should not dwell on the past. Dreams were for the future, and they would only come through if one took a step towards it.

I’ll cross the stream (cross the stream)
I have a dream
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Posted 7/26/08
There was a flash of bright light. And then there was darkness. Kyuhyun hated the darkness when he was alone. It brought back too many memories. Memories better left forgotten.

“Hey pretty boy! No bodyguard today?” The leader spoke. “Oh I forgot. He died last week. So sorry.”
The boys around Kyuhyun laughed.
“Let me guess. He died because you did something stupid? Like what your mother always say?”
The laughter got louder.

Kyuhyun could feel his mask breaking. He had spent the weekend trying hard to rebuild his mask of aloofness. Losing his only friend made Kyuhyun feel even more alone than ever. Would it be better if I have never been friends with him? Losing something that Kyuhyun experienced truly only once in his fifteen years of life was horrible. Losing what one didn’t know, one couldn’t feel bad. Losing what one had gotten a taste of after years of craving, it was almost as if the world had ended. Worst of all, the leader had hit the crux of Kyuhyun’s guilt and sadness. The reason of the death of his only friend.

“So pretty boy. Not so great now without your bodyguard? You know what happens to people like you?”
Kyuhyun tried to move away but was grabbed from the back by another boy
“Let’s let him have a taste of it boys.”
Kyuhyun struggled as he was dragged away.

“Hyung? Eeteuk-hyung? Kibum-hyung? Hankyung-hyung? Hyung? Where are you? Don’t leave me alone. Please! I promise I’ll be careful. Please! Hyung!”

Kyuhyun woke up on the hospital bed with sweat dripping from his head. He looked up at the ceiling. It was only a dream. It had been two month since the accident and one month plus since Eeteuk-hyung had been discharged from hospital. And he was still having nightmares about the accident. Perhaps it isn’t about the accident. Kyuhyun knew in his heart that the accident only brought to surface wounds that were left unhealed from his years before Super Junior.

Kyuhyun was shivering despite being wrapped up in a thick blanket provided by Sungmin, who said that he was not going to let his younger brother feel cold in the hospital. He was getting used to waking up alone from his nightmares again. The thing about living in a dorm was that he could always find someone to distract him. Staring at the blanket, which was surprisingly not pink but a pale blue, Kyuhyun felt tears forming in his eyes. He missed his hyungs. He knew that they would be busy since Super Junior started work again after about a week’s break given by the management for them to recover from the accident. During the week after their break, his hyungs visit him often, always telling him about their days. His hyungs chased away his nightmares and made him feel safe. Kyuhyun disliked the hospital. It reminded him too much about who died there. Hyung…

Maybe it was the excitement of knowing that he could sing again, or perhaps it was the physiotherapy he was going through, Kyuhyun fell sick. Perhaps he had contracted the flu from another patient in the physiotherapy room. Kyuhyun ran a high fever about two weeks after receiving the elephant. All were worried about him, especially since the flu wasn’t doing anything good for his recovering lungs and was slowing his physiotherapy sessions. They visited him whenever they could, but it was not as often as they wished they could.

Although he was always drifting in and out of his sleep, with his body weak from the accident and susceptible to common disease easily, Kyuhyun often felt their presence, especially Kibum-hyung and Hankyung-hyung. Kyuhyun hated having a fever. It always trapped him in his sleep, unable to wake up from those frightening hallucinations. Or are they my buried memories? His hyungs’ presence made his hallucinations from the high fevers he got due to the flu less real and less frightening.

Now, he was on his way to recovery, though according to the doctor, there was still a long way to go. He was glad when he heard from the doctor that he would still be able to sing as the collapsed lung recovered well. He just had to be careful not to get pneumonia or any lung related sickness, then he would be able to continue to be a singer. It made Kyuhyun very happy when he heard that.

After being woken by the nightmare, Kyuhyun was afraid to go to sleep. He was scared that if he slept, he would not be able to see his hyungs again, that he would be trapped forever in that eternal darkness with the taunts of those school mates. His guilt over the death also prevented him from sleeping. I should have been more careful. Mother’s right about me. His hand reached out to the table and grabbed the little grey elephant that was sitting on it. He hugged it to him. It was a present from all of them, saying that although they could not always be there, the elephant will always be there to accompany him. Kyuhyun hugged the elephant closed to him, and curled up against it. Silent tears rolled down his face as he wished for the umpteenth time that one of his hyungs were there to comfort him.

Kyuhyun sat on his hospital bed, watching the TV. It has been two weeks since any of his hyungs had come to visit him. Though he reasoned to himself that they were busy promoting and they need their rest, that he was not a baby anymore, that he did not need anyone to look after him, there was a small part of his heart that wished for someone – anyone – to come and visit him, to tell him about their days and the things they did. He wanted to be included in the group. As he watched Super Junior perform on stage on the television, he can’t help but wished to be there with them to share their joy and sadness. He hoped that they had not forgotten about him, especially since it seemed as if he was not needed. The twelve members looked so perfect as a group performing that it felt as if there was no space for a thirteenth member.

Kyuhyun sighed. He really felt happy that Super Junior was achieving such success in the world, but also felt sad about being left behind. Everyone is progressing but me.

Kyuhyun was progressing well during his physiotherapy session, but there was still a long way to go before he could even think about dancing. He gave his all during each physiotherapy session, always pushing himself to the limit, leaving exhausted and pale after the sessions, though he was happy with his progress. Kyuhyun felt comforted by the fact that none of his hyungs drop by when he was doing physiotherapy. He didn’t want them to see his struggles. In some part of his mind, Kyuhyun felt that it would make him appear weak in front of his hyungs, something he didn’t want them to think that he was. Kyuhyun knew what appearing weak could do to you. No, they wouldn’t. They are not them. Kyuhyun tried to reason with himself, but there was always this doubt about whether they were them.

Kyuhyun knew he was contradictory – wanting his hyungs to be there and yet not wanting them to be there. But deep down, Kyuhyun craved for the love of his hyungs.


Kyuhyun woke up one day after his lesson to see Kibum sleeping on the sofa. Kibum-hyung? What is he doing here?
Kibum had gone to the hospital after ending his filming. They actually all planned to visit Kyuhyun that day. As Kibum didn’t know when he would end, he told Eeteuk that he would head straight down after his filming. It turned out that today was a good day for filming. They ended earlier than expected. Kibum went to the hospital, but realised that Kyuhyun was sleeping. He settled down on the sofa chair, deciding to catch up on some sleep.

Kyuhyun stared at Kibum. Kyuhyun was glad that one of his hyungs had come to visit him. But he looks tired. Kyuhyun would rather his hyungs stayed at home and had enough rest instead of visiting him. After all, they need their energy more. Kyuhyun continued to stare at Kibum, unable to hide his happiness at seeing Kibum after so long. He looks cold.

Kyuhyun had been going for various physiotherapy lessons to help him regain his motion due to the hip fracture. He had managed to stand and walk a little but always with the help of the physiotherapist. Part of the reason why he wanted to see his hyungs so much was to share with them his joy at being able to walk again. He had finally progressed, in his own eyes, in his physiotherapy lessons. Kyuhyun wanted to recover faster to rejoin the group, so that his family will not leave him behind. Are they really my family?

Kyuhyun moved his legs slowly to the edge of the bed and then towards the floor, until he was sitting at the edge of the bed. Very slowly and carefully, he placed his feet on the floor and gently eased his weight onto his legs. Holding on to the bed and the wall, using them as his support, Kyuhyun managed to stand on. Carefully letting go of his support, he stretched out his hands to maintain his balance. He grabbed the blue blanket on his bed before tentatively taking a step.

Kyuhyun managed to hold on to the table as he walked slowly towards Kibum. He reached an area where there was nothing for him to hold. He slowly let go of the wall to make sure that he still had his balance. Then he took a step forward. And another. And another. And another. Until he was about five steps away from Kibum. It was already an accomplishment.

Kyuhyun’s legs wobbled beneath him. He was glad that he managed it that far as it meant to him that he was a step closer to rejoining the group. Since knowing that he would still be able to sing, this was the reassurance that he was one step closer to being able to dance again. It did not occur to him that falling to the floor might hinder his progress. Kyuhyun was just glad that he managed it to walk that far on his own though he didn’t manage to reach Kibum. He was concentrating so hard that he didn’t notice Kibum waking up. Thus as he was falling, he did not expect anyone to shout for him.

“Kyuhyun!”

Kibum had always been a light sleeper. Thus he was woken up when he heard rustling from the bed. He opened his eyes and was shocked. He didn’t expect to see Kyuhyun standing up on his own. He wanted to rush over but didn’t as he could see the concentration on Kyuhyun’s face. He watched as Kyuhyun slowly made his way towards him. Kibum could feel the happiness in his heart. It was great to see Kyuhyun walking, albeit very, very slowly, but it was a step towards a full recovery for Kyuhyun. Kibum watched, never taking his eyes off Kyuhyun. Kibum wanted to catch Kyuhyun in the case that Kyuhyun fell. He noticed Kyuhyun stopping about five steps from him, as if he couldn’t continue anymore. Kibum got up and prepared to catch Kyuhyun when Kyuhyun started to fall.

“Kyuhyun!” The shout came from the door.

The eleven members were creating a ruckus as they headed towards Kyuhyun’s ward after a day of singing practice. Donghae and Eunhyuk were disturbing Shindong and Sungmin with Siwon trying to get them to be quiet as they were in the hospital. Ryeowook and Yesung were walking in front of them, ignoring the noise behind them. They were discussing about the new singing techniques they had learned that day. Hankyung was walking beside them, nodding while paying attention to where they were walking. Sometimes the two younger ones can be so absorbed that they didn’t pay attention to anything else. Eeteuk, as the eternal Umma, was trying to prevent a fight between Kangin and Heechul at the back of the group.

Hankyung sighed, noticing the stares from the rest of the people in the hospital. He smiled at them, hoping to distract them, and it worked. Hankyung then turned his attention to opening the door to Kyuhyun’s ward. The door opened slightly and he was about to say Kyuhyun’s name when he noticed. Yesung and Ryeowook came to a stop behind him and stared. Slowly, one by one the members quietened down as they all noticed what Kyuhyun was attempting. It was a surprise to see Kyuhyun attempt to stand on his own after only a short period of time as the doctors had said that the road to recovery was a long one. But here, two months plus after the accident, Kyuhyun was trying to walk on his own.

They all held their breaths and stared.

Kyuhyun managed to get within five steps of Kibum before his legs gave in, causing him to fall towards the ground. This triggered an immediate reaction from all watching at the door.

“Kyuhyun!”

They all rushed towards their youngest, hoping to break his fall.

Kibum, being the closest and the only one who was already heading towards Kyuhyun, managed to catch Kyuhyun before he hit the ground. Kibum pulled Kyuhyun up and carried him bridal style, though Kyuhyun was taller than him, he wasn’t much heavier. The rest gave a sigh of relief. Hankyung picked up the blanket from the floor as Kibum placed Kyuhyun back on the bed. Hankyung laid the blanket over Kyuhyun.

Getting over the shock, each member voiced their opinion to Kyuhyun’s action.

“It’s wonderful! You’re getting better now.” – Donghae.
“Wow.” – Eunhyuk.
“That’s a surprise.” – Siwon.
“Good job.” – Heechul who shocked everyone by patting Kyuhyun on the head.
“Ohh. I should make you something to celebrate.” – Sungmin.
“Food?” – Shindong, which received a whack on the head by Heechul.
Ryeowook just smiled at Kyuhyun.
“That’s great. But don’t try it alone again ok? What if you fell and no one is here to catch you? You’ll injure yourself even more and…” – Eeteuk, whose mouth was covered by Donghae, preventing him from going on and on and causing himself to hyperventilate.
“What do you think you were doing?” – Kangin, who tried to look angry but was unable to keep the worry from his face.
Kibum and Hankyung both just held on to Kyuhyun’s hands.

Kibum frowned. “Kyu, why are you trembling? You know Kangin-appa is not really angry with you right?” Kyuhyun was shaking a little by his shoulders. Part of the trembling was due to his exhaustion from the short walk. The question from Kibum stopped the antics of the rest of the members.

“Kyuhyunnie, are you crying? What’s wrong?” Hankyung asked, panicking a little. Eeteuk stepped closer to hug Kyuhyun, his motherly instincts surfacing as he noticed the youngest crying.

“Kyuhyun, we are not upset with you. Kangin didn’t mean to scare you.” Eeteuk shot a glare at Kangin as though he made Kyuhyun cry. Kangin felt guilty and apologised. “Kyuhyun, I wasn’t angry. I was just worried. Please don’t cry k? You don’t want Umma to be upset at Appa right?” Yesung and Donghae smiled. Kangin admitting that he was Appa? It was good black mail material.

Kyuhyun shook his head. “It… sniff… wasn’t hyung. Sniff. I’m just happy … sniff… that hyung came to see me…sniff…that I can… sniff…still be part of …Super…Junior.” Kyuhyun was really happy. Although he didn’t say it, he was glad that his hyungs came and that since he could stand and walk, the chances of being back with Super Junior were better.

Eeteuk’s reply to that was to hug Kyuhyun tighter. “No matter what happens, you will always be part of Super Junior. And Super Junior will always be thirteen people.”

“Really?” Kyuhyun asked in a soft voice, muffled even more by him heading his face in Eeteuk’s chest. Kyuhyun looked as vulnerable then, so unlike his usual aloof and independent attitude that he gave. Sungmin couldn’t take it anymore and ran to hug Kyuhyun as well, turning it into a threesome hug.

“Of course. Nothing can separate us. We are a family.” Kibum said, joining the hug as well. Coming from Kibum, the words meant a lot, as Kibum was a naturally quiet person, not prone to expressing his feelings a lot. Hearing that, the rest of the members joined in the group hug, although it was hard to have a thirteen people hug.

Kyuhyun smiled slightly, despite being buried in the middle of the hug. He really had wonderful hyungs. Kyuhyun relaxed completely for the first time since he last saw his hyungs two weeks ago, allowing him to be lured to sleep with the heartbeat of his Eeteuk-hyung.
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Posted 7/29/08
can i ask if it's true, coz if it is...
oh i really liked it.. especially heechul and kyuhyun's part...
so caring both of them

and d blue blanket part.. so funny and sad

wah.. thnkz 4 sharing
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Posted 7/29/08

heechul_love04 wrote:

can i ask if it's true, coz if it is...
oh i really liked it.. especially heechul and kyuhyun's part...
so caring both of them

and d blue blanket part.. so funny and sad

wah.. thnkz 4 sharing


actually, i dont think it is true...
the accident is true but not the story i think... kitty wrote it to make the story more interesting i think
only my opinions...
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Posted 7/29/08

musefeera wrote:


heechul_love04 wrote:

can i ask if it's true, coz if it is...
oh i really liked it.. especially heechul and kyuhyun's part...
so caring both of them

and d blue blanket part.. so funny and sad

wah.. thnkz 4 sharing


actually, i dont think it is true...
the accident is true but not the story i think... kitty wrote it to make the story more interesting i think
only my opinions...


Yes Just like musefeera said the accident is true but the story is not.
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Posted 7/31/08

KittyKatwithfluff wrote:


musefeera wrote:


heechul_love04 wrote:

can i ask if it's true, coz if it is...
oh i really liked it.. especially heechul and kyuhyun's part...
so caring both of them

and d blue blanket part.. so funny and sad

wah.. thnkz 4 sharing


actually, i dont think it is true...
the accident is true but not the story i think... kitty wrote it to make the story more interesting i think
only my opinions...


Yes Just like musefeera said the accident is true but the story is not.


oh, ok.. thnkz.. i really lyk d story, how can she ryt such long stories lyk this..
i'm impress
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1455 cr points
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Posted 7/31/08

heechul_love04 wrote:


KittyKatwithfluff wrote:


musefeera wrote:


heechul_love04 wrote:

can i ask if it's true, coz if it is...
oh i really liked it.. especially heechul and kyuhyun's part...
so caring both of them

and d blue blanket part.. so funny and sad

wah.. thnkz 4 sharing


actually, i dont think it is true...
the accident is true but not the story i think... kitty wrote it to make the story more interesting i think
only my opinions...


Yes Just like musefeera said the accident is true but the story is not.


oh, ok.. thnkz.. i really lyk d story, how can she ryt such long stories lyk this..
i'm impress


I don't know how I type such long stories. But when I got my sister to read them to see if they were okay she was complaning it was to long. As soon as she finished one part I world give her another part and all she could do was sigh.
Member
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Posted 7/31/08

KittyKatwithfluff wrote:


heechul_love04 wrote:


KittyKatwithfluff wrote:


musefeera wrote:


heechul_love04 wrote:

can i ask if it's true, coz if it is...
oh i really liked it.. especially heechul and kyuhyun's part...
so caring both of them

and d blue blanket part.. so funny and sad

wah.. thnkz 4 sharing


actually, i dont think it is true...
the accident is true but not the story i think... kitty wrote it to make the story more interesting i think
only my opinions...


Yes Just like musefeera said the accident is true but the story is not.


oh, ok.. thnkz.. i really lyk d story, how can she ryt such long stories lyk this..
i'm impress


I don't know how I type such long stories. But when I got my sister to read them to see if they were okay she was complaning it was to long. As soon as she finished one part I world give her another part and all she could do was sigh.


i didnt really read it all, just some part, where i see heechul, sungmin's name, or where it's d sad or fun part.. but wow.. u really ryt stories so well
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Posted 7/31/08

heechul_love04 wrote:


KittyKatwithfluff wrote:


heechul_love04 wrote:


KittyKatwithfluff wrote:


musefeera wrote:


heechul_love04 wrote:

can i ask if it's true, coz if it is...
oh i really liked it.. especially heechul and kyuhyun's part...
so caring both of them

and d blue blanket part.. so funny and sad

wah.. thnkz 4 sharing


actually, i dont think it is true...
the accident is true but not the story i think... kitty wrote it to make the story more interesting i think
only my opinions...


Yes Just like musefeera said the accident is true but the story is not.


oh, ok.. thnkz.. i really lyk d story, how can she ryt such long stories lyk this..
i'm impress


I don't know how I type such long stories. But when I got my sister to read them to see if they were okay she was complaning it was to long. As soon as she finished one part I world give her another part and all she could do was sigh.


i didnt really read it all, just some part, where i see heechul, sungmin's name, or where it's d sad or fun part.. but wow.. u really ryt stories so well


eventually she did it very very very well....
i wish she could wrote more n more story bout them....
ekekekekeke....
Creator
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Posted 7/31/08

musefeera wrote:


heechul_love04 wrote:


KittyKatwithfluff wrote:


heechul_love04 wrote:


KittyKatwithfluff wrote:


musefeera wrote:


heechul_love04 wrote:

can i ask if it's true, coz if it is...
oh i really liked it.. especially heechul and kyuhyun's part...
so caring both of them

and d blue blanket part.. so funny and sad

wah.. thnkz 4 sharing


actually, i dont think it is true...
the accident is true but not the story i think... kitty wrote it to make the story more interesting i think
only my opinions...


Yes Just like musefeera said the accident is true but the story is not.


oh, ok.. thnkz.. i really lyk d story, how can she ryt such long stories lyk this..
i'm impress


I don't know how I type such long stories. But when I got my sister to read them to see if they were okay she was complaning it was to long. As soon as she finished one part I world give her another part and all she could do was sigh.


i didnt really read it all, just some part, where i see heechul, sungmin's name, or where it's d sad or fun part.. but wow.. u really ryt stories so well


eventually she did it very very very well....
i wish she could wrote more n more story bout them....
ekekekekeke....


Musefeera: do you want me to write a follow up story to the 21 part story?
Moderator
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Posted 8/1/08

KittyKatwithfluff wrote:


musefeera wrote:


heechul_love04 wrote:


KittyKatwithfluff wrote:


heechul_love04 wrote:


KittyKatwithfluff wrote:


musefeera wrote:


heechul_love04 wrote:

can i ask if it's true, coz if it is...
oh i really liked it.. especially heechul and kyuhyun's part...
so caring both of them

and d blue blanket part.. so funny and sad

wah.. thnkz 4 sharing


actually, i dont think it is true...
the accident is true but not the story i think... kitty wrote it to make the story more interesting i think
only my opinions...


Yes Just like musefeera said the accident is true but the story is not.


oh, ok.. thnkz.. i really lyk d story, how can she ryt such long stories lyk this..
i'm impress


I don't know how I type such long stories. But when I got my sister to read them to see if they were okay she was complaning it was to long. As soon as she finished one part I world give her another part and all she could do was sigh.


i didnt really read it all, just some part, where i see heechul, sungmin's name, or where it's d sad or fun part.. but wow.. u really ryt stories so well


eventually she did it very very very well....
i wish she could wrote more n more story bout them....
ekekekekeke....


Musefeera: do you want me to write a follow up story to the 21 part story?


if you want to...
i'll be glad...
but i dont have any idea rite now....
owh ya!!!
mybe you can wrote bout the follow up of suju mystery...
have you watch that show???
the one that donghae was possessed by the ghost in their dorm....
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Posted 8/4/08

musefeera wrote:


KittyKatwithfluff wrote:


musefeera wrote:


heechul_love04 wrote:


KittyKatwithfluff wrote:


heechul_love04 wrote:


KittyKatwithfluff wrote:


musefeera wrote:


heechul_love04 wrote:

can i ask if it's true, coz if it is...
oh i really liked it.. especially heechul and kyuhyun's part...
so caring both of them

and d blue blanket part.. so funny and sad

wah.. thnkz 4 sharing


actually, i dont think it is true...
the accident is true but not the story i think... kitty wrote it to make the story more interesting i think
only my opinions...


Yes Just like musefeera said the accident is true but the story is not.


oh, ok.. thnkz.. i really lyk d story, how can she ryt such long stories lyk this..
i'm impress


I don't know how I type such long stories. But when I got my sister to read them to see if they were okay she was complaning it was to long. As soon as she finished one part I world give her another part and all she could do was sigh.


i didnt really read it all, just some part, where i see heechul, sungmin's name, or where it's d sad or fun part.. but wow.. u really ryt stories so well


eventually she did it very very very well....
i wish she could wrote more n more story bout them....
ekekekekeke....


Musefeera: do you want me to write a follow up story to the 21 part story?


if you want to...
i'll be glad...
but i dont have any idea rite now....
owh ya!!!
mybe you can wrote bout the follow up of suju mystery...
have you watch that show???
the one that donghae was possessed by the ghost in their dorm....


Sorry I'm late to post I have not been on since Thursday. Anyway yeah I'll start the follow up story for mystery 6 right now. And yes I have watched the show. It may be done by the end of the week but I have another story to post that I have been working on a continue to the 21 part story so I will also be posting that. Please enjoy!
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