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Being in a Long Distance Relationship
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24 / F / NYC
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Posted 10/7/08
- Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?
yes
- How far away were you?
eh like an hour or so by train :{
- What major problems did you face with it?
we only saw each other once a week
- Any upsides?
when we did see each other, i would sleep over and we would sleep on the bed cuddling :}
- How did you go about making things work?
i just visited him alot :}
- Did the relationship work?
no..:{
- Why or why not?
i dont really know. i came home after me sleeping over and somehow it was silently ended :T
Posted 10/7/08
I think I'd be really paranoid to get involved in one.. I'm a very paranoid person, so I'm always afraid of what other people say/do behind my back... But I guess if I'm that in love with the person, it'll be worth it and I'll try to live through it.


To touchzanaflexpens: good luck with your relationship. (Even though this was posted a while back; it's still the thought that counts.. )
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26 / F / Canada
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Posted 10/7/08
1: I have been in alot of long distance relationships...actually i am in one right now.
2:Well i'm in Canada and he is all the way in Egypt thats like half way around the world.
3:Deciding if we should date people in our own countries and time zone.
4:They were alot of that...Trusting eachother, More love, etc..
5:We had a very long talk about everything that would happened from day to day, no matter the situations. We would basically let everything go even thou we hurted eachother's feelings.
6:It's worked for like 5 years already and it's still working out for the both of us.
7:I guess is cause we have faith/ hope in our relationship and we love eachother like crazy ^_^.
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25 / F / Philippines
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Posted 11/19/08


For those who haven't been:
- Do you think you'd ever get in one?


Yepz..
I'm getting there..ahaha
just hopefully...
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24 / F / Somewhere in Spain
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Posted 11/19/08
I am in one.
My bf is at 300kms (not really very far) and we try to see at leas three or four times a year.
The best things are that this way we can keep little distance and it's not annoying, but there are a lot of bad things, I'm REALLY sure he doesn't cheat on me, but he lives just to far...
we've been together for six months now, and I think we'll live together in one year and half
Posted 11/19/08
Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? Yes, I'm currently in one.
How far away were you? Asia-Europe
What major problems did you face with it? Time difference, communication means and most regretful, physical contact.
Any upsides? The feeling of being loved.
How did you go about making things work? Just trying to hold on to your love for each other.
Did the relationship work? We'll see.
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29 / M / you wouldn't wann...
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Posted 11/19/08
Long distance relationships, I've had a couple. Never really worked out for me though. It's really hard to catch up with your partner. You need to be committed to it. In my case I was too busy with my own life that's why it never worked out for me. It seems like I am in a different world when I am away, and bridging the gap between both parties seem so difficult.
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26 / F / Wisconsin
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Posted 11/19/08
- Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? Yup currently
- How far away were you? hour and a half
- What major problems did you face with it? not knowing whats going on at times
- Any upsides? reunion :D
- How did you go about making things work? He calls whenever he is walking to a class and we talk online alot. Also I go and visit him on free weekends and he comes home too.
- Did the relationship work? yup it is
- Why or why not? I had to learn to really really trust him. And not to let him not calling sometimes or having to leave bug me.

Posted 11/19/08 , edited 11/19/08
1. Yes currently (first relationship because i searched the right person for me very long )
2. em.. about half earth ( 25000km or 18. ours by plane)
But it's so romantic if u tell the girl u love " i have travelled around the half earth just to see you" :)
3. So far away
4. Talking by phone or internet or classic with letters
5. Yes it works cause its real love
Posted 11/19/08

My questions to you are:
- Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?

Nope.


For those who haven't been:
- Do you think you'd ever get in one?

I'm not sure; not likely.
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28 / F
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Posted 11/19/08
- Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?
yes, currently in one, we've been together for 2 and 1/2 years now, 3 months after we met i had to go off to UNI in UK

- How far away were you?
Hong Kong and UK don't know a figure.. but thats basically a 12 hour flight away

- What major problems did you face with it?
the biggest problem, is not being able to be physically together, which makes it harder, because you're seeing each other on webcam and hearing each other voices on the phone, and you just want to run up and hug them or hold them but you can't.

- Any upsides?
I got to spend a lot more time with him, than i think we would have spent if i was living back home? because we would plan things so that we can be together as much as possible. to be honest, it's kind of like i'm living with him but not really.

- How did you go about making things work?
well, this is going to sound crazy to some people, but i believe you need to make certain sacrifices and compromises, in all relationships, especially a long distance one. My bf and I litterally live with each other, we keep webcams on even when we're sleeping? it's a psychological comfort that the other person's right there. also, you should make dates whenever possible, like if it's a special occasion, like an anniversary or something, we both make something nice and spend the entire day together, we co-ordinate our meals, so lets say he's going to eat his dinner and i'll eat my lunch the same time as him infront of the cam, so it's like we're in a restaurant somewhere?

Also for this, the best option is to stear clear from the opposit gender as much as possible. people may think it sounds stupid, but this is the main reason why it works for my bf and i. Eventhough that person may really just be a friend and theres nothing much to it, stearing clear and not interacting with another person from the opposite sex will make your partner more comfortable? I know trust is an important thing, but think about it, if there was another girl/guy who always spends time, which you could spend and do things which you could be doing with your loved one you wouldn't really like it right?

Also, i limit going out if possible at all. I'm determined to make this relationship work. The most important thing is to really think carefully if this person is someone you're ready to give up a lot of things for. I only really see my friends at lectures or if it's their birthday, i have a lunch with them. I devote the other times to my relationship. i love my bf and he loves me and we're honestly very serious and planning a future together. People will say i'm choosing 'hoes over bros' but the truth is, as long as you are a honest and loyal and good person, your true friends will understand and support you. I have still managed to keep all my best friends and we're close as ever even though we don't see each other much. Just a message to you guy out there, if a person abandons you and says you're a not their friend because you don't hand out, shows that this person doesn't care for you truely and that they're not really your friend, they just want to kill time.

Also, it's expensive but you need to make the effort of travelling to see each other, my bf visited me during one of his holidays in england, it was only a week but it was honestly worth it. the best time i had in UK till now. and i regularly travel back home during my breaks and holidays to spend time with him.

long distance takes a lot of effort, love, trust, support and perserverance. if you're not ready to fully commit then it won't ever work.

- Did the relationship work?
yes and we're still going strong. it's tiring and monotonous, but if you really love the person, the it's all worth it
.
- Why or why not?
it works because we love and support each other, and we're willing to fight through all kinds of difficulties. if possible, try to travel and visit each other, even if it's a weekend, it makes a big difference. feels sooooo great to be with each other, and gives you a goal to look forward to.
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25 / F / in myy room.
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Posted 11/19/08
Yes ive been in a long distance relatonship.
I dont know, i pefer those over a relatonship where i see the guy practically every single day.
He lived in California and I lived in Utah.
I guess thee major problem we had was trust first and then communication.
It was hard enough being far away from him but then he didnt have a phone
so he could hardly talk to me and then it got to the point, where i needed more..comfort from him i guess you can say. I needed him to SHOW me that he cared but it was sort of hard to do that over a damn computer screen.
I guess some of thee upsides was in someway, it made us stronger you know. It made us stronger then we would have ever been if we were togther 24/7.

Unfortunately, it didnt work out because i got sick of him not being able to SHOW me his feelings. [my fault for going into thee relationship in thee first place].



BUT, i do believe that long distance relationships can work out and that they are possible. In my opinion, it depends on thee couple and how strong your guy's love is.
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Posted 11/19/08

touchzanaflexpens wrote:

Well...in exactly a week, I will be moving 1300 miles from Florida to Wisconsin. As you might guess, I'm not too happy about it. I am leaving behind a boyfriend in Florida, and we do plan to stay together. I've never been in a real long distance relationship before (only in one where the guy lived 45 minutes away) and I'm trying to figure out the best way to go about doing it, so I was just thinking about the topic in general.

My questions to you are:
- Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?
- How far away were you?
- What major problems did you face with it?
- Any upsides?
- How did you go about making things work?
- Did the relationship work?
- Why or why not?

For those who haven't been:
- Do you think you'd ever get in one?


Yes I have, while I was in university. We met while I was in college in Msia and he was from New York. One of his friends was a good friend of mine. We were together for 4 years but the last 2 years was long distance when he was transferred back to New York and I moved to the UK. I have to say communication is very crucial and trust. We were both too busy but we tried to find the time due to the time difference as well. The upside to it is that he'll visit me every few weeks and it was nice.

When you're in an adult relationship, everything have to be balance. With long distance, you need to have faith in each other. If not, it would just disintegrate very very quickly. It helps when you care about that person very very much. Something had to give and he decided to reconnect with his ex and we quit. It was too painful for me and that was my last long distance. Sadly, we don't even talk to each other anymore and I don't think my husband would appreciate that we keep in touch.

Knowing what I know now, I don't think I would want to be in a long distance relationship. If you would want this, just have faith or be prepare to have your heart broken.

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28 / F / Austin, Texas
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Posted 11/19/08 , edited 11/19/08
Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? I am in a quasi long distant relationship. well, a quasi long distant marriage
- How far away were you? he's in Illinois (actually, he's stationed there 'cause of his duty), while I'm in the tropics (Puerto Rico)
- What major problems did you face with it? the distance. it was really sad not being with him since he's not only my hubby (now), but my best friend too
- Any upsides?yes!!! everytime we see each other (every two or three months for 10-15 days), we have lots of fun
- How did you go about making things work?calls and/or emails EVERY SINGLE DAY.

- Did the relationship work? yes, is working really good.
- Why or why not?we have a tremendous emotional connection. is so weird, that's scary.
I mean come on, don't you think is a bit freaky that when you call your significant other and he's far away, he tells you he's doing the exact same thing you're doing? say, if I'm doing the laundry, he's doing the same thing (without even tell him). it's scary, but cute.


but this LD marriage will end by the end of February 2009!!!!

He'll be in San Diego, and I'll move there too.
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F
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Posted 11/19/08
I used to have long distance relationship,to tell u its not so great...
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