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Being in a Long Distance Relationship
32215 cr points
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32 / F / Denver
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Posted 11/19/08
A guy I work with is dating a woman in California... He only sees her once a year, but they talk on the phone every day... They've been together for years... Neither of them have a plan of moving to where the other is. I just don't get it............
Posted 11/19/08
My questions to you are:
- Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?

I actually have. I was in a long distance relationship for a several months. Though my relationship was much different then yours. I have a child with my guy and we were together three years before moving apart. He wanted us all to move to a different state and he had to go ahead to get everything ready for us. It sucked but we got threw it.

- How far away were you?

A state apart. I don't know in miles wise what that would be. I do know it was a nine and a half hour nonstop drive away from each other.

- What major problems did you face with it?

I am not a paranoid person but trust was one. And I got afraid the distance would push us apart, but it did the opposite.

- Any upsides?

It gave me alittle bit a space, which I didn't realize at the time but it was much needed. And it made me really think about our relationship as a whole. In a good way.

- How did you go about making things work?

We talked almost every night(not always), if we missed each other or had issues about the time apart we talked about it. Communication is always key in any relationship. And he would come to see me every two weeks.

- Did the relationship work?

Yup

- Why or why not?

Because we stayed open minded, honest and communication stayed open and good. It bought us closer together.

40772 cr points
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23 / M
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Posted 11/19/08
i have.
im from malaysia n my gf is new york,
idk how many miles though.
we just happy living the life.
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39 / F / NC, United States
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Posted 11/19/08
i never been in a long distance relationship...but my sisters have.....and it works out pretty good for them
20321 cr points
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25 / F / Las Vegas, NV
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Posted 11/19/08
My questions to you are:
- Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?
Yup. I am.
- How far away were you?
7373 miles away.
- What major problems did you face with it?
Sometimes we have trouble communicating but that's it.
- How did you go about making things work?
Trusting each other.
- Did the relationship work?
It's working.
- Why or why not?
Because our feelings are true.


Actually my close friends and I are, coincidentally, all in long distance relationships. at first we thought it was stupid but when we actually got into one, we changed our minds. although it is hard for a long distance relationship to work, if you really have the will to make it work, then it will.
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Malaysia the land...
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Posted 11/19/08
- Do you think you'd ever get in one? No way..I prefer some1 who is closer to me
7134 cr points
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F
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Posted 11/19/08
Total bullshit. What's the point in dating if you can't physically be there for each other? Oh cool, you see each other once in awhile -- like that's ever satisfying! Better yet, you can't emotionally be there for your mate either. How can you have a relationship through a damn phone?!
Btw, why stick with one person who lives so far away when you can hook up with the other thousands of singles in your own area?
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26 / F / Colorado
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Posted 11/19/08
- Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?
Yes. HE had to move and HE refused to break up saying that WE can make it work.
- How far away were you?
I don't know. SE Asia to N. America... How far is that?
- What major problems did you face with it?
I didn't really have problems with it, he visited me as much as he could. But HE was the one with problems. He became all annoying, paranoid and insecure. He's suddenly so clingy, calls and texts almost every possible god damn hour. And then he goes off and accuses me of flirting with girls and boys. WOW.
- Any upsides?
Yeah. I'll never be in a long distance relationship again! haha
- How did you go about making things work?
I didn't. He tried to. I got sick of it.
- Did the relationship work?
Eh, no.
- Why or why not?
I think physical proximity is really important. That's all.
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28 / F
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Posted 11/19/08
My questions to you are:

- Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?

My boyfriend lives in a different state, but he's still within the tri-state area, and approximately 30 miles away (which is about 1-2.5 hours drive depending on traffic). Does that count?


- How far away were you?

Like I said, we're about 30 miles apart... which is peanuts compared to the distance there would be between you and your boyfriend once you move...


- What major problems did you face with it?

As you probably could have guessed, the relationship gets strained because we don't have as much time or at times, lack the ability to nurture the relationship. I don't know what the statistics are in terms of how successful long-distance relationships are, but I can imagine how difficult it would be for you. 30 miles is enough to cause problems...

- Any upsides?

Yes, of course. With hard work, faith, strong commitment, love, and will power it's not impossible. The trouble really starts when the lack of communication becomes a problem. I've learned to take things in stide, and to be more understanding of the given situation. I have a life, he has a life...and once you're at peace with a lot of the things that seem to be problematic, it becomes a lot easier to deal with. Who knows, if this relationship survives regardless of the distance apart, he may be the one...

- How did you go about making things work?

Stay in touch as much as possible, have common ground and really talk things through before the move and once you've moved away....but most importantly the latter. Don't leave things unsaid... make the transition easier for the both of you by really having a heart-to-heart discussions about how you feel, and how you should both approach the situation. AND once you're established in your new home, be more attentive. Really put in the effort to keep in touch, and let him know that you care to know what's going on in his life. Schedule special days where you can see each other again...

- Did the relationship work?

Yes, we're still together... :-)


- Why or why not?

Because we've formed an understanding. We know where we stand, what we want out of the relationship, our fears (as in what would be the worst case scenario in the long run?)...we're very in tune with each other and really commit to meet each others needs. When it works, it works...when it doesn't, well... that's life..


GOOD LUCK!
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22 / F / Lee Min Ho's mansion
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Posted 1/30/09
its not really a relationship..
we are not committed........
but i like this guy...

we are chatting..
but as time goes by...
as if he is not interested on me...

i felt cold..
i think i dont love him anymore...

for me...
its really difficult to have
long distance affairs...
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