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I'm So Over You
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26 / F / Behind You!!! BOO!!
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Posted 3/14/07
I'm happy for you. We girls need to be strong and boot the asses of the boys that don't deserve to be with us.
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35 / F / East Bay California
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Posted 3/14/07

Dularc wrote:

Now on a less serious note.
I don´t get people in relationships, why do you always go back to the insignificant other that betrayed your trust after invading the innermost depths of your being, or sumthin like that, i dunno. Would it not be more healthy to just sever all contact with said person?
And just maybe move on with your everyday life? And just maybe refrain from new relationships for lessay the next month or so? let it settle in and just perhaps be witness to some inner growth?
( :


It's not as easy as all that. How do you completly write someone off that you spent years and years with? I've tried cutting off contact with some of my other exes, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But when your boyfriend (or girlfriend) is also your best friend...that loss can be crippling. For the longest time after we broke up, whenever something important would happen in my life, he would be the first person I would want to tell, and then I'd remember that he wasn't a part of my life anymore and it would be like experiencing our break up all over again. He was part of my "everyday life" for the better part of four years (which is a very long time for me...before him I wouldn't keep a guy around longer than six months...I have the attention span of a goldfish). So moving on with my everyday life wasn't really an option, since I was a completly different person than who I was before him. I didn't remember who I used to be, because I had grown as a person while I was with him.

And as for you idea of not looking for relationships until about a month has passed. Well, it's taken me about two years to finally realize that I'm over him...TWO YEARS. In these past two years, the only people I've been attracted to are people who are either emotionally unavailable or actually unavailable (I had this major crush on one of my married friends), but now I'm in a place where I think I could actually have a chance at maybe finding a "normal" relationship.

I don't know, this is just my story...and everyone is different. We all have different ways of coping with loss. Anyway, there's that.
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29 / M / North Carolina
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Posted 3/14/07

cheng26 wrote:

Well, I might be older than all of you but let me share with you my story of realizing when I was over my ex. My ex and I had been dating secretly for a year because he was a "bad" boy and I was a goodie two shoe. My family are the tradition asian family with the family values, family lineage etc. etc. so from the gecko, we kind of knew our relationship was heading toward trouble but we were too in love and or sprung on each other to care. The relationship was known to the public after two years of being together and we were caught by my cousin who saw my ex and I together. The whole thing got blown out of proportion, and my parents called his parents and they argued and we were told to break up or we would be disowned. Well, to make the long story short....I broke up with him and he cried but I didn't want to be disowned from my family. So, two years later I saw him again and we politely said hi to eachother and went our separate ways.


Omg... they broke you up, cause he was a bad boy?? No offence, but if I were you and I loved him, I probably would stop dating him, and when I'm 18 and go to college, move without a word to them and never see them again, cruel, but oh well. They'd deserve it in my thoughts, they seemed way to controlling. Also ummm... right now if I were you, (If you haven't done this yet) I'd walk up to my cousin and slap that b*tch hard. He/She deserve it sooo much man.
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30 / M / SD
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Posted 3/14/07
congrats
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76 / F / in the club
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Posted 3/14/07

reikiaddict wrote:

My English teacher told me this: Girls will always have a hard time finding a good person because men are more aware of what they want than them. Hmmmm talk about getting a sermon from an old lady...but it is true.

^ i couldn't say a word. damn!
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29 / M / Washington DC
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Posted 3/14/07

HokiePokie wrote:


cheng26 wrote:

Well, I might be older than all of you but let me share with you my story of realizing when I was over my ex. My ex and I had been dating secretly for a year because he was a "bad" boy and I was a goodie two shoe. My family are the tradition asian family with the family values, family lineage etc. etc. so from the gecko, we kind of knew our relationship was heading toward trouble but we were too in love and or sprung on each other to care. The relationship was known to the public after two years of being together and we were caught by my cousin who saw my ex and I together. The whole thing got blown out of proportion, and my parents called his parents and they argued and we were told to break up or we would be disowned. Well, to make the long story short....I broke up with him and he cried but I didn't want to be disowned from my family. So, two years later I saw him again and we politely said hi to eachother and went our separate ways.


Omg... they broke you up, cause he was a bad boy?? No offence, but if I were you and I loved him, I probably would stop dating him, and when I'm 18 and go to college, move without a word to them and never see them again, cruel, but oh well. They'd deserve it in my thoughts, they seemed way to controlling. Also ummm... right now if I were you, (If you haven't done this yet) I'd walk up to my cousin and slap that b*tch hard. He/She deserve it sooo much man.



HELL YEAH! That's what I said! I don't quite understand why, but cheng was a lot more forgiving toward her folks in her reply to my previous post. More so than I could ever be.
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F / USA
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Posted 3/14/07

HokiePokie wrote:



cheng26 wrote:

Well, I might be older than all of you but let me share with you my story of realizing when I was over my ex. My ex and I had been dating secretly for a year because he was a "bad" boy and I was a goodie two shoe. My family are the tradition asian family with the family values, family lineage etc. etc. so from the gecko, we kind of knew our relationship was heading toward trouble but we were too in love and or sprung on each other to care. The relationship was known to the public after two years of being together and we were caught by my cousin who saw my ex and I together. The whole thing got blown out of proportion, and my parents called his parents and they argued and we were told to break up or we would be disowned. Well, to make the long story short....I broke up with him and he cried but I didn't want to be disowned from my family. So, two years later I saw him again and we politely said hi to eachother and went our separate ways.



Omg... they broke you up, cause he was a bad boy?? No offence, but if I were you and I loved him, I probably would stop dating him, and when I'm 18 and go to college, move without a word to them and never see them again, cruel, but oh well. They'd deserve it in my thoughts, they seemed way to controlling. Also ummm... right now if I were you, (If you haven't done this yet) I'd walk up to my cousin and slap that b*tch hard. He/She deserve it sooo much man.




HELL YEAH! That's what I said! I don't quite understand why, but cheng was a lot more forgiving toward her folks in her reply to my previous post. More so than I could ever be.

You guys are a lot more westernized...lol, if I had known what I know now, maybe I could have been stronger back then and challenged my folks. But it's no use crying over spilt milk or something like that (And to answer HokiePoxie....I was pissed at my cousin because she was the one that made everything worse etc. but now looking back, I think things happened for a reason and it was meant to be). I don't know if he was "the one" for me, I only know that at the time of the break up we were still very much inlove with eachother. However, I'm in my late 20s now and so is he, and I have someone I love and he also has another person in his life. So I think maybe we weren't meant to be anyway, and something keeping the family peace is more important than our individual needs and want. Hope it makes sense to you guys.
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27 / M / Toronto
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Posted 3/14/07

simpleyesa wrote:


reikiaddict wrote:

My English teacher told me this: Girls will always have a hard time finding a good person because men are more aware of what they want than them. Hmmmm talk about getting a sermon from an old lady...but it is true.

^ i couldn't say a word. damn!


Lol....but women are definitely stronger...since they got it hard. Shame on men...for not making it easier and not b a jackass.
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35 / F / East Bay California
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Posted 3/22/07
Okay so I know it's kind of lame to post on your own thread and all...but I have a bit of an update.

So you know how I told you all how I called my ex on his birthday...yeah well, so here I am trying to distract myself from working on a paper for my english class (I have the worst case of writer's block right now) and my phone starts ringing. It's like 1a.m. and I'm all "who the hell is calling this late?!?" And lo and behold it's D. He's a little tipsy...yeah yeah he's aparently a drunk dialer. So he's talking to me about his recent ex...and I'm listening patiently because at least it's keeping me from working on my paper. And he starts trying to talk about the past...so finally he's all..."Andrea...I say we make a promise to each other...if you aren't married by the time your forty...let's get married!" He was f'ing serious...my response <drum roll> "you're drunk" "No I'm not that bad" "please you think that by the time I'm forty I won't be married? what I'm gonna be some weird cat lady or something"...and it goes on like this for a while.
<sigh> sometimes I wish I wasn't so damn polite.
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26 / M / driftin in cybers...
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Posted 3/22/07
ok so i met this girl about a year ago
she was the most gorgeous girl on the face of the earth imo and still is
well i asked her out of course and she said there was someone else but asked me to call her
so i didnt call her assuming there in fact was someone else
so about 6 months pass and we havent spoken to each other
alot of awkward glances in class and in the hall
then i call her to settle the uneasiness and we were on good times i started thinking about how gorgeous she was and fell in love with her again
and my best friend had been trying to hook me and her up for 3 months
but i didnt really take initiative well anyways right before my bestfriend moves away he starts hanging out with her more and more
the weekend before he moves he tells me that hes going out with her
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29 / F / DC, philippines
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Posted 3/22/07
The moment I realized that I was over my ex was when I realized that I really didn't care much about him anymore..
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31 / M / Walnut/Berkeley, CA
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Posted 3/22/07
i dotn think i can ever get over someone completely... i still care for all of them.. just not as much...
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28 / F / In your dreams!
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Posted 3/22/07
I was dating someone for 2 and a half years, and they were the worst two and a half years of my life. He abused me, was seriously over posessive and didn't want me to speak to any of my friends. So, like an idiot I listened because he put the fear of God in me and I was stuck under his thumb for most of this time. I used to think he was brilliant and charming but then once I stepped back a little I saw him for what he really was, a scared pathetic excus for a human being. I broke up with him later June of 2006. I started dating my now boyfriend on my birthday ( Aug, 11 2006 ) and we've been happily together ever since. Now that I know what a real relationship was like I realized what a mistake he was. I tried talking to him and he said he was still in love with me but with someone else and only using her for sex ( nice guy, right? ) thankfully I forced the point I wanted to remain a virgin until married. He's completely shocked at how much I don't care about him like that (I still care about him, he's self harming so I like to make sure he's alright) but I continue to send him e-mails and get one line bitter replies.
Posted 3/22/07
My most rewarding moment was when I walked in on a girl getting quite friendly with my roommate. If you happen upon that and don't feel a thing, you are like "Yep, don't have to worry about that one anymore!"
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29 / M / US
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Posted 3/22/07
Yea really, its no biggie. Your just the innocent by standard. They are the ones that typically feel uncomfortable. Personally I find it most hilarious when you simply walk in whip a char around, stradle it, stare intently, and say "proceed"!

I tend to find those "how to make your roommate insane" jokes hilarious however...

This is one of my favorites:
Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "It's more than meets the eye."
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