Post Reply Emotional abuse
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Posted 8/6/08
Definition of Emotional Abuse:
The National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect defines emotional abuse as: "acts or omissions by the parents or other caregivers that have caused, or could cause, serious behavioral, cognitive, emotional, or mental disorders. In some cases of emotional abuse, the acts of parents or other caregivers alone, without any harm evident in the child's behavior or condition, are sufficient to warrant child protective services (CPS) intervention. For example, the parents/caregivers may use extreme or bizarre forms of punishment, such as confinement of a child in a dark closet. Less severe acts, such as habitual scapegoating, belittling, or rejecting treatment, are often difficult to prove and, therefore, CPS may not be able to intervene without evidence of harm to the child."23

The American Medical Association AMA describes Emotional Abuse as: "when a child is regularly threatened, yelled at, humiliated, ignored, blamed or otherwise emotionally mistreated. For example, making fun of a child, calling a child names, and always finding fault are forms of emotional abuse."2

Emotional abuse is more than just verbal abuse. It is an attack on a child's emotional and social development, and is a basic threat to healthy human development. Emotional abuse can take many forms:


Belittling
Belittling a child causes the child to see him or herself in the way consistent with the caregivers words. This limits the child's potential by limiting the child's own sense of his or her potential.


Coldness
Children learn to interact with the world through their early interactions with their parents. If parents are warm and loving, children grow to see the world as a secure place for exploration and learning. When parents are cold to their children, they deprive the child of necessary ingredients for intellectual and social development. Children who are subjected to consistent coldness grow to see the world as a cold, uninviting place, and will likely have seriously impaired relationships in the future. They may also never feel confident to explore and learn.


Corrupting
When parents teach children to engage in antisocial behavior, the children grow up unfit for normal social experience.


Cruelty
Cruelty is more severe than coldness, but the results can be the same. Children need to feel safe and loved in order to explore the world around them and in order to learn to form healthy relationships. When children experience cruelty from their caretakers, the world ceases to "make sense" for them, and all areas of learning are affected - social, emotional, and intellectual development are hindered.


Extreme Inconsistency
The foundations of learning are laid in the first interactions between child and caretaker. Through consistent interactions, the child and parent shape each other and the child learns that his or her actions have consistent consequences - this is the foundation for learning. The child also learn to trust that his or her needs will be met from others. When the caretaker is inconsistent in his or her response to the child, the child cannot learn what is expected from the start, and all areas of learning can be effected throughout the child's lifespan.


Harassment
Harassment has similar effects to those of belittling, but also involves a stress response. Harassment scares the child, and repeated exposure to fear can alter the child physically, lowering their ability to deal with other stressful situations.


Ignoring
Ignoring a child deprives the child of all the essential stimulation and interaction necessary for emotional, intellectual and social development.


Inappropriate Control
Inappropriate control takes three forms - lack of control, over control, and inconsistent control. Lack of control puts children at risk for danger or harm to themselves and robs children of the knowledge handed down through human history. Over control robs children of opportunities for self-assertion and self-development by preventing them from exploring the world around them. Inconsistent control can cause anxiety and confusion in children and can lead to a variety of problematic behaviors as well as impair intellectual development.


Isolating
Isolating a child, or cutting them off from normal social experiences, prevents the child from forming friendships and can lead to depression. Isolating a child seriously impairs their intellectual, emotional and social development. Isolating is often accompanied by other forms of emotional abuse and often physical abuse.


Rejecting
When a caretaker rejects a child, the caretaker is negating the child's self-image, showing the child that he or she has no value. Children who are rejected from the start by their caretakers develop a range of disturbed self-soothing behaviors. An infant who is rejected has almost no chance of developing into a healthy adult.


Terrorizing
Terrorizing, like harrassment, evokes a stress response in children. Repeated evocation of the stress response alters the child physically, lowering their ability to fight off disease, increasing their risk for many stress-related ailments. Aside from the physical affects, a child living in terror has no opportunities to develop anything other than unhealthy and anti-social survival skills.

Emotional abuse is the core of all forms of abuse, and the long-term effects of child abuse and neglect in general stem mainly from the emotional aspects of abuse. Actually, it is the psychological aspect of most abusive behaviors that defines them as abusive. Think of a child breaking his or her arm. If the arm was broken while riding a bicycle and trying to jump a ramp, the child will heal and recover psychologically, perhaps strengthening his or her character and learning valuable life-lessons in the process by overcoming obstacles with the support of his or her caregivers and friends. If the same injury occurs because a parent twists the child's arm behind his or her back in a rage or throws the child down the stairs, the child will heal physically, but may never heal psychologically. In thinking of sexual abuse, think of a child being examined by a doctor - doctors touch children's genitals routinely in physical examinations without damaging children in any way. But think of the same contact from a sexualized older acquaintance. It is clear that the damage from fondling the child is psychological and emotional. Now think of a child who lives with a parent who terrifies the child but who has just enough control (IT'S ALL ABOUT CONTROL) over him- or herself to refrain from injuring the child physically in a way that will draw questions. That child is suffering the same devastating abuse as the children in the examples above, but often nothing can be done about it.

Despite the fact that the long-term harm from abuse is most often caused by the emotional aspects of the abuse, emotional abuse is the most difficult of the forms of abuse to substantiate and prosecute. Actual physical injury is often required before the authorities can step in and assist a child. Also, the effects of abuse are very similar to symptoms of many childhood mental and physical disorders, which makes identifying emotionally abused children difficult.
Posted 8/13/08
I, myself suffered and still a little suffering from emotional abuse from my step mom.... I always cry at night when I remember all her harsh words... My grades also dropped because of it and I hate it because I am good and I like school... I also became a loner whereas I am not.... It's all terrible....
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Posted 8/13/08

beli-jhubz wrote:

I, myself suffered and still a little suffering from emotional abuse from my step mom.... I always cry at night when I remember all her harsh words... My grades also dropped because of it and I hate it because I am good and I like school... I also became a loner whereas I am not.... It's all terrible....


I know...I go through emotional abuse from my mom too. And a lil bit of neglect. Its a realy sad and lonelly thing to go through. And it literally makes the people feel inferior for a long time. Useless and burdenful. I dont cry that often but my social phobia and my low self esteem came from my mother.
Posted 8/13/08

kotetsu683 wrote:


beli-jhubz wrote:

I, myself suffered and still a little suffering from emotional abuse from my step mom.... I always cry at night when I remember all her harsh words... My grades also dropped because of it and I hate it because I am good and I like school... I also became a loner whereas I am not.... It's all terrible....


I know...I go through emotional abuse from my mom too. And a lil bit of neglect. Its a realy sad and lonelly thing to go through. And it literally makes the people feel inferior for a long time. Useless and burdenful. I dont cry that often but my social phobia and my low self esteem came from my mother.


Yah, I know... It's as if I don't exist at my own home. That's why I prefer to live in my grandma's house than to live with my dad and her wife..
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Posted 8/13/08

beli-jhubz wrote:


kotetsu683 wrote:


beli-jhubz wrote:

I, myself suffered and still a little suffering from emotional abuse from my step mom.... I always cry at night when I remember all her harsh words... My grades also dropped because of it and I hate it because I am good and I like school... I also became a loner whereas I am not.... It's all terrible....


I know...I go through emotional abuse from my mom too. And a lil bit of neglect. Its a realy sad and lonelly thing to go through. And it literally makes the people feel inferior for a long time. Useless and burdenful. I dont cry that often but my social phobia and my low self esteem came from my mother.


Yah, I know... It's as if I don't exist at my own home. That's why I prefer to live in my grandma's house than to live with my dad and her wife..


Yeah...I just dislike my parents now...Now I'm just waiting or the chance to leave. Never want to see them again. Sometimes I wish that I didnt lie to the social workers when they were called...
Posted 8/13/08

kotetsu683 wrote:


beli-jhubz wrote:


kotetsu683 wrote:


beli-jhubz wrote:

I, myself suffered and still a little suffering from emotional abuse from my step mom.... I always cry at night when I remember all her harsh words... My grades also dropped because of it and I hate it because I am good and I like school... I also became a loner whereas I am not.... It's all terrible....


I know...I go through emotional abuse from my mom too. And a lil bit of neglect. Its a realy sad and lonelly thing to go through. And it literally makes the people feel inferior for a long time. Useless and burdenful. I dont cry that often but my social phobia and my low self esteem came from my mother.


Yah, I know... It's as if I don't exist at my own home. That's why I prefer to live in my grandma's house than to live with my dad and her wife..


Yeah...I just dislike my parents now...Now I'm just waiting or the chance to leave. Never want to see them again. Sometimes I wish that I didnt lie to the social workers when they were called...


Well, as for me... Even if I wanted to hate my dad, I can't because he's a really good guy and I love him very much... I just hate her wife becasue she's the one who ruined everything in my life... I don't want to be away with my dad but if his wife is with him, I'd rather not go with him.. It's so complicated that just thinking of it makes my head hurts.
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Posted 8/13/08

beli-jhubz wrote:


kotetsu683 wrote:


beli-jhubz wrote:


kotetsu683 wrote:


beli-jhubz wrote:

I, myself suffered and still a little suffering from emotional abuse from my step mom.... I always cry at night when I remember all her harsh words... My grades also dropped because of it and I hate it because I am good and I like school... I also became a loner whereas I am not.... It's all terrible....


I know...I go through emotional abuse from my mom too. And a lil bit of neglect. Its a realy sad and lonelly thing to go through. And it literally makes the people feel inferior for a long time. Useless and burdenful. I dont cry that often but my social phobia and my low self esteem came from my mother.


Yah, I know... It's as if I don't exist at my own home. That's why I prefer to live in my grandma's house than to live with my dad and her wife..


Yeah...I just dislike my parents now...Now I'm just waiting or the chance to leave. Never want to see them again. Sometimes I wish that I didnt lie to the social workers when they were called...


Well, as for me... Even if I wanted to hate my dad, I can't because he's a really good guy and I love him very much... I just hate her wife becasue she's the one who ruined everything in my life... I don't want to be away with my dad but if his wife is with him, I'd rather not go with him.. It's so complicated that just thinking of it makes my head hurts.


Well it was both of my parents..My dads a drunk and my mom didnt want a kid in the first place....Wonderful...
Posted 8/13/08

kotetsu683 wrote:


beli-jhubz wrote:


kotetsu683 wrote:


beli-jhubz wrote:


kotetsu683 wrote:


beli-jhubz wrote:

I, myself suffered and still a little suffering from emotional abuse from my step mom.... I always cry at night when I remember all her harsh words... My grades also dropped because of it and I hate it because I am good and I like school... I also became a loner whereas I am not.... It's all terrible....


I know...I go through emotional abuse from my mom too. And a lil bit of neglect. Its a realy sad and lonelly thing to go through. And it literally makes the people feel inferior for a long time. Useless and burdenful. I dont cry that often but my social phobia and my low self esteem came from my mother.


Yah, I know... It's as if I don't exist at my own home. That's why I prefer to live in my grandma's house than to live with my dad and her wife..


Yeah...I just dislike my parents now...Now I'm just waiting or the chance to leave. Never want to see them again. Sometimes I wish that I didnt lie to the social workers when they were called...


Well, as for me... Even if I wanted to hate my dad, I can't because he's a really good guy and I love him very much... I just hate her wife becasue she's the one who ruined everything in my life... I don't want to be away with my dad but if his wife is with him, I'd rather not go with him.. It's so complicated that just thinking of it makes my head hurts.


Well it was both of my parents..My dads a drunk and my mom didnt want a kid in the first place....Wonderful...



Aww... So I can still consider myself lucky because my true mom is still alive and both of my tru parents still love me... It's just that woman whose making my life unbearable......
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Posted 8/13/08

beli-jhubz wrote:


kotetsu683 wrote:


beli-jhubz wrote:


kotetsu683 wrote:


beli-jhubz wrote:


kotetsu683 wrote:


beli-jhubz wrote:

I, myself suffered and still a little suffering from emotional abuse from my step mom.... I always cry at night when I remember all her harsh words... My grades also dropped because of it and I hate it because I am good and I like school... I also became a loner whereas I am not.... It's all terrible....


I know...I go through emotional abuse from my mom too. And a lil bit of neglect. Its a realy sad and lonelly thing to go through. And it literally makes the people feel inferior for a long time. Useless and burdenful. I dont cry that often but my social phobia and my low self esteem came from my mother.


Yah, I know... It's as if I don't exist at my own home. That's why I prefer to live in my grandma's house than to live with my dad and her wife..


Yeah...I just dislike my parents now...Now I'm just waiting or the chance to leave. Never want to see them again. Sometimes I wish that I didnt lie to the social workers when they were called...


Well, as for me... Even if I wanted to hate my dad, I can't because he's a really good guy and I love him very much... I just hate her wife becasue she's the one who ruined everything in my life... I don't want to be away with my dad but if his wife is with him, I'd rather not go with him.. It's so complicated that just thinking of it makes my head hurts.


Well it was both of my parents..My dads a drunk and my mom didnt want a kid in the first place....Wonderful...



Aww... So I can still consider myself lucky because my true mom is still alive and both of my tru parents still love me... It's just that woman whose making my life unbearable......


I think my parents love me..Its just that I'm not their ideal child. And they dont like it. I think my oms boyfriend fiance husband treats me better..Kinda
Posted 8/13/08
Well... Life is complicated.... I think I'm kinda okay now but I still don't want to go home... My dad's urging me to go home before school starts but I don't like.... His wife said sorry to my grandma and dad's relatives but not to me... imagine that???... She didn't do anything them but to me and she didn't even say sorry to me?? What a show!!!.... I really don't like to go home.... If they force me, I'm thinking of reporting it but I am not sure because I really love my dad.... i don't know what to do....
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Posted 8/13/08
I dont think the services can really do anything about emotional abuse...The only reason they could when they were called for me was because it was the neighbors that called and they heard all the yelling and such but thats life im just trying to make it easier for other people like us.
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Posted 8/29/08
that happened to my cousins..my aunt and uncle r "re-searchers" and teachers at a university so they're very busy
for like 1~2 years nobody knew that the MAID was emotionally abusing them calling them idiots and stuff like that..it was very painful 4 them cuz they're young [now they r 9 and 4]. i think the maid is in jail now or had to pay a huge amount of money
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