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Should cousins be lovers?
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26 / M / Behind you
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Posted 3/16/07
Many of you may have watched anime that involves the main characters being cousins or close childhood friends....wat is ur opinion on this?
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35 / M / Whitebase
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Posted 3/16/07
Socially it's unacceptable behavior in most country's. Despite the fact it used to be commonplace in the same places. On a level of genetics it's a hit-or-miss affair on offspring. Because technically you both share 50% of the same genetic material. Sometimes that extra 50% isn't enough to compensate and thusly causes... undesired effects.

Personally, not for me. But that's due to my code of ethics. Had I been raised in 17th century Europe, I might have a different world perspective. I won't dismiss anyone that does partake in that however. Love is love regardless of the affiliation of the two members.
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25 / M / Moving around or...
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Posted 3/16/07
Well actually, i could care less...cousins can be lovers if they want
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28 / F / UK
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Posted 3/16/07
^^ hehe basically what marato said!

Personally i don't see a problem with cousins or close childhood friends being lovers. However i do think that the debate between the morality of the two is different. I'll just go for cousins ^-^.
The initial biological reason why cousins shouldn't be lovers is that if they have children they are more likely to recieve reccesive genes. Marrying a relative means less genetic veriety and also produces offspring with a more limited immunity.
It was acceptable in the olden days as the population was smaller and people were in contact with less people. This meant alot of 'inbreeding' happened. It was also done to keep the wealth of families; in the families. ^-^
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27 / M
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Posted 3/16/07
I wouldn't have given a damn if someone would be in love with his cousin. But those sure have to deal with concequences like...you know...

Anyway...i really doubt this COULD be possible. I mean, cousins are cousins and i doubt there are many chance of falling in love (like being lovers and stuff) for both of them...unless they're both really desperate or somethin... And all those mangas are just fiction and all this "taboo love" romans are just happen to be most loved. Just because it's dramatic and etc.


Close childhood friends is whole different story. I've had a crush on my childhood friend myself. Even though it didn't work out lol.
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27 / M / Jersey
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Posted 3/16/07 , edited 5/20/15
Personally I'm against this. There are many instances of genetics taking a turn for the worse. The Amish in Pennsylvania are an example of this where inbreeding occurred which promotes six fingers, and other unique traits. I think it's socially acceptable in Japan but for me right now it's a no no. After all that's how hemophilia became prevalent in the European royalty line.

Close childhood friends on the other hand are fine for me. In fact I used to date a girl I knew from way back for years.
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30 / M / San Francisco, CA
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Posted 3/16/07 , edited 5/20/15
ew gross! even if it is trough marriage you are still technically FAMILY!
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29 / M / soul society
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Posted 3/16/07
i think in japan they can be lovers
Posted 3/16/07
i suppose its ok but realistically in our society it'd be weird. some people might say that its ok if theyre genuinely in love etc etc but are they ever going to be accepted? theyll get outcasted as freaks or something.
i agree with marato. its not really for me 1) my cousins annoy the hell out of me [i know thats not the issue here] and 2) i would find it really REALLY awkward and uncomfortable.

i actually read a case the other day of a boy who was given up for adoption when he was little. he tracked down his family years later and when he was reunited he and his sister somehow feel in love. like they were genuinely brothers and sisters, same blood, same parents and everything and they were hugely outcasted and people were all disgusted with them and everything. they had two children who were both mentally disabled cos of the brother/sister genes and were taken away from them. theyre now campaigning to make incest legal in germany or something.
i know it's not related to the cousins topic but just thought id add it in. fair enough they were in love and everything but does that make it any more acceptable?

not trying to be at all prejudiced or narrow minded here. anyone get what im trying to say? haha dont seem to be able to find the right words
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30 / M / Los Angeles, CA
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Posted 3/16/07 , edited 5/20/15
No. Never. EVER. Why would something think of such a thing?
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35 / M / Whitebase
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Posted 3/16/07
Here's a question. What about far removed cousins? Those that share no genetic material whatsoever and are barely considered family, but family nonetheless?

For example, you and your mothers, sisters, husbands children from a prior marriage? You don't even share the same last name, let alone the same genes.
Posted 3/16/07

Marato wrote:

Here's a question. What about far removed cousins? Those that share no genetic material whatsoever and are barely considered family, but family nonetheless?

For example, you and your mothers, sisters, husbands children from a prior marriage? You don't even share the same last name, let alone the same genes.


well thats socially acceptable in reality but again public opinion might dictate otherwise...but for me after the initial awkwardness if he was worth it then no it wouldnt bother me
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35 / M / Whitebase
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Posted 3/16/07
It's not so much a question of me trying to validate the action. Rather, see where the level of tolerance lay.

I think those of us who have a universal mindset have come to understand that when 'it' happens, it happens. I just don't see myself in a position to persecute simply because it's not my way. Especially when it isn't doing me any harm.
Posted 3/16/07
thats true yea. but should something like that happen to people you know it'll be damn hard to not form an opinion about it whether negative or positive...and i know what sort of opinion id be forming even if i try to be neutral or whatever. not because i want to have that opinion but because its hard to think otherwise
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35 / M / Whitebase
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Posted 3/16/07
Well, I agree that if two of my cousins became the preverbial 'item' that it wouldn't be the central theme of dinner-table discussion or something I would proudly boast to my friends. If the subject did come up, I would likely avoid it like the plauge. I would remain perfectly neutral through avoidance.

On an inner level, I'll try to understand the who, what, where, when, and why of the whole affair as that's how I operate. On an external level, I will probably reference it as an instance of disgust when questioned about it. But that's to protect myself.

If I openly condone the act, then I myself must partake (or have a high probability of partaking) in said action. At least, that is what is socially formed based off such comments. I think I am no more or less vulnerable than anyone else. However, I have to do what I have to do to protect what little social status I have.

Back on the personal level, I'd be fine with it. I'd even go to their wedding and wish them well. But the entire thing would be a walking-on-eggshells instance.
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