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Should cousins be lovers?
Posted 3/16/07
haha i love your explanations..takes me like half an hour to read and understand each one.

back to topic though i agree with what you've just said. i would support them to the best of my abilities and i would stand up for them if anyone said anything bad. i would admire their bravery and the fact that they're werent deterred by society's narrow-mindedness but like you said it'd be walking on eggshells.
i'd watch what i was saying..i probably wouldnt feel 100 percent comfortable around them..if people asked me my opinions about the relationship then [shamefully] i'd probably support the opinion that the majority have. it doesnt make me any better a person but i dont think it makes me any less a person either.
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30 / F / Surrey, BC
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Posted 3/16/07
besides the inbreeding and lack of genetic variety stuff, there's nothing really "wrong" w/ it. but the chances of it happening are rare. though u may be close w/ a cousin, it's unusual for u to be "in love" w/ them. u just won't normally think that way when knowing that ur cousins and even if u do, it's not often mutual and/or love. it's in no ways wrong just as being w/ a younger man/older woman or a much older man/woman as long as they really love eachother.

there's a diff to people thinking they're in love (infactuation) and actually being in love. not knowing what love is is a problem. love should be based on a deep understanding of the person not just sexual attraction, loneliness, the idea of being in love and ignorance. if ur old enough to tell the difference and it's not merely sexual attraction than it really is love, otherwise it's not.

incest w/ immediate family members is however just perverted especially when it's a dad/daughther, mother/son, grandparent/grandchild relationship where I blame the adult as being a pedophile for leading it on, not using discretion and being manipulative. this means that they're either ignorant of what love is and that there's anything wrong w/ it, in a society where it's accepted, having it implanted into them that they're in love, being secluded from everyone else and forming some sort of -complex or just sick. loving someone doesn't mean u'd want to have sex w/ them, if u get the urge to in those relationships, there's something wrong w/ the way u think...

as w/ childhood lovers, it's not even a question of morality or whatever. no problem at all. in fact, I think it's romantic. having all that time to know eachother... just as long as they're old enough to know what love is.
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22 / F
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Posted 3/16/07
if they are far related cousins.. then it doesn't matter to me.. there would be less chance of having genetic defects to their offspring.
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31 / F / Seoul
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Posted 3/16/07
I personally could never love a cousin... even a far removed cousin~
My family is very close, and we are close with far removed family mems.

For example...

My moms 3rd cousin has two sons, which makes them my 5th cousins... which makes them not related at all~ lol but knowing they are, i could never love them like that (maybe if we fell in love and then found out, but i still think it would be hard for me)

but i dont mind others that do~~~ ^^
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30 / M / Foxwoods
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Posted 3/16/07
Incest gross
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30 / F / Surrey, BC
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Posted 3/16/07
if they're in love, truly (not b/c of some weird psycological reason) then there's no problem. if I knew people who were in that type of relationship and I was in a position to, I'd ask them to rethink whether they really are in love and try to point it out if I think they're not. if they insist or there's nothing obviously wrong with it, I'd just tell them that they should be aware of the effects of having kids and the societal pressure they get. I think that they can have sex, just not kids, take measures to prevent conception and adopt or something.

it's a brave thing to fight against societal pressure for things u believe in but not everyone is so accepting... my rule is that if it does not affect other people negatively and it's not valididly (impersonally) wrong then it's alright w/ me. the assignment of right and wrong should not be personal. it's not how it makes U feel. those r diff matters.

I think it's right but feel differently can be somewhat hyprocritical but it's often hard to control how u feel 100%. u should however be aware of what's "right", the "right" way to think and try to accept it as much as u can. we should try not to judge people based on one aspect of them but them as a person. consider race, sexual preference and diff of age in a relationship, these say nothing about who they are. try to not think of perverted/sexual thoughts before u go "eww..." people are not bugs. it's not about the sex but the feelings they have for eachother.

though I cannot see myself in any of these relationships, I'll try and keep an open mind, try to understand and accept. that is what I've decided to do.
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31 / M / SD
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Posted 3/16/07

animoo_x wrote:

i suppose its ok but realistically in our society it'd be weird. some people might say that its ok if theyre genuinely in love etc etc but are they ever going to be accepted? theyll get outcasted as freaks or something.
i agree with marato. its not really for me 1) my cousins annoy the hell out of me [i know thats not the issue here] and 2) i would find it really REALLY awkward and uncomfortable.

i actually read a case the other day of a boy who was given up for adoption when he was little. he tracked down his family years later and when he was reunited he and his sister somehow feel in love. like they were genuinely brothers and sisters, same blood, same parents and everything and they were hugely outcasted and people were all disgusted with them and everything. they had two children who were both mentally disabled cos of the brother/sister genes and were taken away from them. theyre now campaigning to make incest legal in germany or something.
i know it's not related to the cousins topic but just thought id add it in. fair enough they were in love and everything but does that make it any more acceptable?

not trying to be at all prejudiced or narrow minded here. anyone get what im trying to say? haha dont seem to be able to find the right words


what she said... agreed lol i'm lazy
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28 / F / Hinamizawa.
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Posted 3/16/07
Well if you love someone you should be with them regardless
Posted 3/16/07
Slightly off topic, this just reminded me of this creepy story i saw on a documentary once. There was this doctor in this small town who helped with artificial insemination, but instead of using the other male donor, he used his own. So this town had like 300 kids from the same dad... The courts allowed parents to check the medical files just to see if their kids were dating potential siblings.

and on topic, dating a relative just has an ick-factor for me.
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F / Hogwarts
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Posted 3/16/07
^ wwwooooaaaah... 300? that means his the father of 300 children? is he trying to beat abraham or something?


this is a sicky topic
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27 / Martian / Estonia
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Posted 3/16/07
Well if your blood related, definitely not.
If your not blood related, i would say that technically its alright, but in reality you would go through hell outside the home such as work and such.
unless ur a hillbilly, in that case even your own sister if a-okay! yer-hear, damn big-city folk!?
( :
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27 / M / Kauai, Hawaii, USA
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Posted 3/16/07
Well there seems to be no wrong about it, however i wouldnt want to be in love with my cousin either.
Posted 3/16/07
if they want to chance fugly babies then they can
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22 / F / nyc
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Posted 3/16/07
eww . i'm againist it!! that's just nasty. i'm okay with a student loving a teacher(as long as they're both over 18 years old.)
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F / ಌNYC, the BIG APPLEಌ
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Posted 3/16/07
^Yup Yup..
basically, asian's believe that marrying ur own cousin is kind of weird.. if they make a baby, it is going to be weird baby.. its ok if they are like hanging out with each other, but im against marrying ur cousins or something. *yuck*
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