Comments on A Dozen Of Roses

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Member manga4ever05 1955 cr points Send Message: 16 / F / in the anime worl... Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 8/14/08, edited 8/14/08 Do you like it? It's my first story, so I'm kinda new to it. Can you help me with some advice?
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	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 8/20/08 Its a good start.. I think it needs to start off with more description of your main person. Her traits clothes and why she is the way she is. more on that line More description I would say it needs some more description of everything .. u got the speaking part down good it just needs more of a push more depth. Remember it can't be all speaking ... (Which u mostly have) B/c all i know from the story is a boy likes a girl alot and she dislikes the idea, and she is sick. ?
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Member manga4ever05 1955 cr points Send Message: 16 / F / in the anime worl... Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 8/21/08 FlamieFlames wrote: Its a good start.. I think it needs to start off with more description of your main person. Her traits clothes and why she is the way she is. more on that line More description I would say it needs some more description of everything .. u got the speaking part down good it just needs more of a push more depth. Remember it can't be all speaking ... (Which u mostly have) B/c all i know from the story is a boy likes a girl alot and she dislikes the idea, and she is sick. ? thanks a lot! Since it's my first story, I have to practice a lot.
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	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 8/21/08 Your welcome i know how u feel .. I'm writing one now 2.. u always need advice .. ^_^
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	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 11/10/08 I liked it... men I would hate a stalker-guy like Hiroshi ^^ But it was easy to read, even though I don't understand were it's supposed to go =D
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Member manga4ever05 1955 cr points Send Message: 16 / F / in the anime worl... Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 12/13/08 i've started uploading the chapters more often. I'll try to do it at least twice a week now ^^
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Member hikarinozomi 3147 cr points Send Message: 17 / F / Where dreams can... Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 12/13/08 manga4ever05 wrote: Do you like it? It's my first story, so I'm kinda new to it. Can you help me with some advice? i ,like it.... but the way you wrote it made it easy for people to feel like they know how's it's gonna end..... u should give some suspense bout her sickness really.... make people look forward to the ending..... not like when people read the ending...they go : " i knew it! " well...... overall.... i really like it ^^ it's sweet~ :D
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Member manga4ever05 1955 cr points Send Message: 16 / F / in the anime worl... Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 12/13/08 hikarinozomi wrote: manga4ever05 wrote: Do you like it? It's my first story, so I'm kinda new to it. Can you help me with some advice? i ,like it.... but the way you wrote it made it easy for people to feel like they know how's it's gonna end..... u should give some suspense bout her sickness really.... make people look forward to the ending..... not like when people read the ending...they go : " i knew it! " well...... overall.... i really like it ^^ it's sweet~ :D i'm not that good of a writer XD i'm gonna put more suspense in about 5 or 6 chapters later. i kinda have it planned out.
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Member hikarinozomi 3147 cr points Send Message: 17 / F / Where dreams can... Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 12/13/08 manga4ever05 wrote: hikarinozomi wrote: manga4ever05 wrote: Do you like it? It's my first story, so I'm kinda new to it. Can you help me with some advice? i ,like it.... but the way you wrote it made it easy for people to feel like they know how's it's gonna end..... u should give some suspense bout her sickness really.... make people look forward to the ending..... not like when people read the ending...they go : " i knew it! " well...... overall.... i really like it ^^ it's sweet~ :D i'm not that good of a writer XD i'm gonna put more suspense in about 5 or 6 chapters later. i kinda have it planned out. i see.... well... maybe your story is better then mine ^^ i don't plan mine.... i just write whatever my mind brings out of my world of imagination.... from mine to yours..... your's is not that sloppy as my story ^^ eh hehehe........ =="
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Member manga4ever05 1955 cr points Send Message: 16 / F / in the anime worl... Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 12/13/08 hikarinozomi wrote: manga4ever05 wrote: hikarinozomi wrote: manga4ever05 wrote: Do you like it? It's my first story, so I'm kinda new to it. Can you help me with some advice? i ,like it.... but the way you wrote it made it easy for people to feel like they know how's it's gonna end..... u should give some suspense bout her sickness really.... make people look forward to the ending..... not like when people read the ending...they go : " i knew it! " well...... overall.... i really like it ^^ it's sweet~ :D i'm not that good of a writer XD i'm gonna put more suspense in about 5 or 6 chapters later. i kinda have it planned out. i see.... well... maybe your story is better then mine ^^ i don't plan mine.... i just write whatever my mind brings out of my world of imagination.... from mine to yours..... your's is not that sloppy as my story ^^ eh hehehe........ ==" i tried to draw haruka >.> but it didn't really look like what I planned to make her look like
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	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 12/15/08 Your drawing of Haruka looked beautiful Whenever try to draw one of my characters, they end up entirely different from what I wanted them to be >.< (That say a lot about my drawing skills xD)
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Member Shifter-Chronicals 3052 cr points Send Message: 16 / F / some where Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 1/7/09 OMG i have read tons of books and this is SOOOOOOO good. wahh whats gonna happen in the end?
	Report to Moderator If you like vampires read a book called Marked looks like this Look at 1st pic
Member manga4ever05 1955 cr points Send Message: 16 / F / in the anime worl... Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 1/9/09, edited 1/9/09 Shifter-Chronicals wrote: OMG i have read tons of books and this is SOOOOOOO good. wahh whats gonna happen in the end? you'll find out soon enough. I don't wanna spoil anything. But if u REALLY wanna know, you can send me a PM
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Member Shifter-Chronicals 3052 cr points Send Message: 16 / F / some where Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 1/9/09 manga4ever05 wrote: Shifter-Chronicals wrote: OMG i have read tons of books and this is SOOOOOOO good. wahh whats gonna happen in the end? you'll find out soon enough. I don't wanna spoil anything. But if u REALLY wanna know, you can send me a PM Yaay you wrote more!!!!! So happy!!!!!!
	Report to Moderator If you like vampires read a book called Marked looks like this Look at 1st pic
Member pinkzz 2694 cr points Send Message: 16 / F Offline	Permalink Reply Quote Posted 10/11/09 I really love your story! The story was so sweet! Please update more! I wana know what will happen next XD
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