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30 / M / Michigan, USA
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Posted 8/26/08
Waves:

Wave ripple softly across the water, reflections of the moonlight dance in my eyes; if only to see her face once more.
Winds whisper along softly, the sound of it sweeping across the mountains and over the lake; taking the sound of her laughter with them.
The water feels cold against my feet, slowly rising to my ankles and falling back down; carrying the feel of her touch away.
My heart feels heavy, with so much pain in every thought; it pumps away my joy with every beat.
My eyes gaze up to the same skies we used to sit and stare up at every night; the echoing song she used to sing, fading away.
The moon is so large, it fills my plane of view as the tears fill my eyes; the same moon I first kissed her under.

My eyes once again look to the lake, so beautiful and serene, the sights and sounds so beautiful; the same as it has always been.
The lake had always been our place to meet, and spend our time wasting it away; Away... the lake took it all from me.
The bastard took her, took her to his depths when all I could do is watch and scream; try to dive after her, failing miserably.
The same lake I cried by and cursed at in despair. the same one I sit by remember how I care.
I never want to lose her, the feelings that we had I will never lose them; I sit down in the water, feeling it wash over my knees.
Crying softly to myself, blaming myself; I curse the lake once more as I sit and hold to myself.
Why can't I hold her in my arms once more...

All I can do, is wait.
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Posted 8/29/08
Your poetic license is combined into a very nice piece of writing. It is sad and fulfilling, although i would watch out for conventions if it were to be read by or to a lot of people. Anyways keep writing ^^
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30 / M / Michigan, USA
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Posted 8/31/08
always so supportive of my sub-par writing :)

these are just things i sit and write as i think em up.

cause my book is coming along slow as molasses
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22 / F / On chair, decidin...
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Posted 10/16/08
I lyk how most of ur writing has been about a girl of the sorts, but every single thing still original; always keeping its individuality. ^_^ I also lyk how u used the waves of the lake to 'wash away her touch'. It fits perfectly. I hope 2 read another one of ur storie soon
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