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Posted 9/1/08

leftofftheark wrote:


berry-san wrote:

lol cool I like running, I'm thinking about running track, but I have no free time... :(

I just wanted to know this but what do you have to do in track ?



Track is fun. When you start out they generally have a 'try everything week' for new members. My school also had something called 'tower hill' which was murder for anyone slightly out of shape. You either sat down half way through or threw up afterward. That was my school though, and I imagine it was used out of tradition. Never the less, it's generally pretty lax as long as you always make the meetings. Don't feel bad if you need to rest (assuming the coach isn't a jerk).

To sum up what you have to do: One type of event at least. You could be a sprinter (common for new comers), a long distance runner, distance jumping, shot-put (or whatever it's called), et cetera. There's normally a lot of events to choose from depending on your school. Mine was the poorest of the state and we had a good selection so you should have some choice.


ohh lol thanks *hugs*

WHOA! this already became soo popualr xDDDDDD
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Posted 9/1/08 , edited 9/1/08

321369001 wrote:

lol we'll thanks for helping us girls -_- i have a question too, Why are most guys like so stupid? I mean like.. They make fun and justt say stuff that girls hate,and yeah... no offense but i think some guys are jerks. And the guy knows..that he shouldnt say that and it could really hurt the girl,but they say it anyway -_-


Well a lot of guys feel the need to conform to the tough guy, jock kind of group. This group of boys/men are highly competitive, and they learn the only way to remain above the others is to make fun of them. You'll notice guys all the time making fun of each other, especially in front of girls. It's a "back to the cave" moment, in that a lot of men just crave being alpha male.

Then you take this guy who has learned from his friends the only way to be successful around people is to put them down, and you put him around girls. More likely then not it'll just be his habit to put people down. So yes, he will be a jerk. Meaning, most guys are jerks.

I always feel I was lucky to be raised around women, in that I never felt the need to belong to those groups. And though that has lead to a somewhat lonely grade school life, has worked out in the end. When I have nothing to be contrasted against except these 'jerks' I can't help but feel embarrassed for my gender.

As you get older and introduced to larger social groups (hell maybe even while you're younger if you're lucky) you'll encounter better guys. Sadly this 'jock' mentality seems to linger around well after college. Most guys are just... jerks. Good luck!


berry-san wrote:

ohh lol thanks *hugs*

WHOA! this already became soo popualr xDDDDDD


Ha, you're welcome. I hope it does at least get some attention.
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Posted 9/3/08
Well, I guess when it gets slows I can start giving out random hints and observations:

It's no secret most relationships don't work. Some people expect to be through several before the end of High School. Though it's not good, how can this be so common? There are several parts to this:

1.) Entering it with the wrong mindset: A lot of people enter a relationship expecting to break up. Though I don't like the idea, I suppose there's nothing wrong with a temporary relationship. The problem with this is most of the time it's unspoken. Where one person assumes a temporary relationship, the other might take it more seriously. Most often it seems the man assumes its a short one without telling the girl, hurting her in the end.

2.) Simply enjoying the relationship: A big problem is people get excited about their relationship based purely on the idea that they are in a relationship, and not on love. They assume it's a feeling of love, where it is actually just an ego trip. They enjoy the attention from the lover and others they get for simply being in the relationship. In other cases they simply enjoy the relationship because it helps them not feel lonely. This is a painful thing. You trick yourself into thinking this excitement is love, when it's just juvenile excitement. This is more common with girls. They get excited over the attention from a boyfriend, and even feel hurt when it suddenly ends.

3.) Comforming: A lot of people will choose to date someone because their friends will approve or even be jealous of the catch. Girls are often pressured to like the 'jock' guys, where guys are often pressure to like the 'prep' girls. Both of which often lack emotional depth, but look great in some opinions. In short, make your own choice on what you like.

4.) Dating just for looks: Not to say looks aren't important, but you'll be dreadfully unhappy dating that person because they're cute. It's better to look for good personality. This isn't 'it's only the inside that counts', because that simply isn't true. I am saying however, that kinda cute person with a great persona is a MUCH better match than the super-hottie jerk.

5.) The pity factor: Do not date anyone on the pity factor. Do not stay in a relationship because they have a dead family member, do not date anyone because their brother died, so on. Befriend them, give them comfort there. Do not be guilted into dating because the person is so sad, or something.

6.) Fear of being alone: Some people date simply because they're alone or have certain 'wants'. If you're not truely attached to the person, you can't imagine they are. Being alone is better than fooling yourself, wasting your time, so on.

Maybe more on this later...
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Posted 9/3/08
woah..it's like i'm reading a magazine here....O.o

so a Q....if a guy say he like u....how to confirm tht he really like u..n not just playing around....?
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Posted 9/3/08 , edited 9/3/08

born2bfast wrote:

woah..it's like i'm reading a magazine here....O.o

so a Q....if a guy say he like u....how to confirm tht he really like u..n not just playing around....?


Though this can be kinda tricky there are a few pointers:
-A guy who can express his love for you clearly, without quoting a song or movie or poem he didn't make is more honest than one that does. This doesn't confirm, but can help.

-If he shows signs of genuine interest. If he avoids talking about himself, tries to help you manage something that's makes you upset, if he cuts through awkward silences with words or interest in you, et cetera.

-If he sacrifices for you. A real sign of love is sacrifice. Does he cut time from relaxation, friends, and other recreational things to be with or help you? Does he willingly risk his comfort in anyway to make you happier?

-Recalls small details as if they were his own. The few times I have been genuinely interested in a girl it seemed my memory was amazing. She could mention her aunt's favorite sport once, and I would remember a month later without any reminders. If he seems to randomly recall many things you say to him if you ever repeat something, he probably has a genuine interest.

-He doesn't play for your attention. Mean, doesn't do little games like 'something made me unhappy, but it's not important' so you'll pry for more. Little things like this show his interest lies in attention and comforting himself. If there's a problem he'll just be able to share it to you as if he were reminding himself.

The sad thing about this is a smart guy may be able to fake most of these if he really wants something you can provide without him loving you. I said genuine interest because it might not be love. Though it pains me as a guy to say, there are many who simply look for fun until they're 30, even older. Keep on your toes even as you get drawn in, but don't be too skeptical.
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Posted 9/4/08


woah that is some detail info...thanks btw...^.^ it really nice to actually hear from a guy saying this kind of thing
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Posted 9/4/08
urmm just curious...what type of girl do u like? since u live with girls...i'm kind of wondering....
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Posted 9/4/08 , edited 9/4/08

born2bfast wrote:

urmm just curious...what type of girl do u like? since u live with girls...I'm kind of wondering....


Well, actually I live on my own (well with some roommates, 3 girls one guy and me) now, but anyway:

Finding the best girlfriend I can, and ultimately then my 'paramore for life', is something I take very seriously. I have had one girlfriend before by my choice, and that ending due to circumstances out of our control. My one goal in life is to be able to find a girl I can confide in and trust so much I can be alone with her and feel the same peace of mind I do when I am literally alone.

Someone intelligent enough to debate with me so we can fine tune our opinions of the world. Someone with a creative heart as big or bigger than mine. I see everything I do as some sort of creative expression, even the way I'm typing now, and I'd hope she could do the same. I want her to be strong enough to stand in life, but we can always turn to each other for comfort, I'll even be happy if she cries from time to time. I want to be able to listen to her and have her do the same for me without me even asking(actually rare for girls). It's basically that. No matter her current opinions, as long as she's willing to debate them and adjust to what we discover I'm more than happy. I do have something of a soft side for the idea of cuddling, so she would have to be very comfortable with full embraces. I want her to have the same full confidence in the relationship as I do. She needs a developed since of responsibility and commitment. I do want kids in the future (namely a daughter), but I will settle for adoption if she prefers.

If I had to mention looks (because it is important to some degree): It's odd, but shorter than me. I'm 6'1", not super tall, but generally girls are shorter anyway. I do prefer shorter hair to long hair. If I had to choose a hair color I'd say jet black or some sort of shock blond. Eye color simply doesn't matter. Though skin tone doesn't really matter, I do tend to like fair or pale skin. A thin to average girl. I myself am around 135lbs, so I'm ridiculously underweight (slowly gaining thanks to exercise).

I don't expect to find the 'perfect girl', but I can find someone close. I feel incomplete and I think a girl would fill the other half. I don't believe in soul mates as I'm in no way religious or spiritual. My best analogy would be this: Imagine each person a rock with one side showing them as a person. If they are too different they either break and pass each other, or just pass. If they are similar enough, they rub off one another until they become a perfect fit. I want to make a perfect fit.
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Posted 9/4/08

leftofftheark wrote:


born2bfast wrote:

urmm just curious...what type of girl do u like? since u live with girls...I'm kind of wondering....


Well, actually I live on my own (well with some roommates, 3 girls one guy and me) now, but anyway:

Finding the best girlfriend I can, and ultimately then my 'paramore for life', is something I take very seriously. I have had one girlfriend before by my choice, and that ending due to circumstances out of our control. My one goal in life is to be able to find a girl I can confide in and trust so much I can be alone with her and feel the same peace of mind I do when I am literally alone.

Someone intelligent enough to debate with me so we can fine tune our opinions of the world. Someone with a creative heart as big or bigger than mine. I see everything I do as some sort of creative expression, even the way I'm typing now, and I'd hope she could do the same. I want her to be strong enough to stand in life, but we can always turn to each other for comfort, I'll even be happy if she cries from time to time. I want to be able to listen to her and have her do the same for me without me even asking(actually rare for girls). It's basically that. No matter her current opinions, as long as she's willing to debate them and adjust to what we discover I'm more than happy. I do have something of a soft side for the idea of cuddling, so she would have to be very comfortable with full embraces. I want her to have the same full confidence in the relationship as I do. She needs a developed since of responsibility and commitment. I do want kids in the future (namely a daughter), but I will settle for adoption if she prefers.

If I had to mention looks (because it is important to some degree): It's odd, but shorter than me. I'm 6'1", not super tall, but generally girls are shorter anyway. I do prefer shorter hair to long hair. If I had to choose a hair color I'd say jet black or some sort of shock blond. Eye color simply doesn't matter. Though skin tone doesn't really matter, I do tend to like fair or pale skin. A thin to average girl. I myself am around 135lbs, so I'm ridiculously underweight (slowly gaining thanks to exercise).

I don't expect to find the 'perfect girl', but I can find someone close. I feel incomplete and I think a girl would fill the other half. I don't believe in soul mates as I'm in no way religious or spiritual. My best analogy would be this: Imagine each person a rock with one side showing them as a person. If they are too different they either break and pass each other, or just pass. If they are similar enough, they rub off one another until they become a perfect fit. I want to make a perfect fit.


hrmm..i like reading ur answer since u always answer it in a detail way....
and yes i agree u seems to express it in a very unique way....
since i have deep interest in interesting people..
even though i do believe that everyone is interesting in their own way...
well then thanks again for the answers...

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Posted 9/4/08

born2bfast wrote:

hrmm..i like reading ur answer since u always answer it in a detail way....
and yes i agree u seems to express it in a very unique way....
since i have deep interest in interesting people..
even though i do believe that everyone is interesting in their own way...
well then thanks again for the answers...



No problem, I love to type. I also think I can relate on the 'interesting people' thing. I'm something of a recreational sociologist (not my college major, but I study it on my own). I like to analyze people, even when I'm talking casually with them. Sometimes I think I could write a book on good conversation techniques, but then I try to humble myself a bit.
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Posted 9/4/08

leftofftheark wrote:

No problem, I love to type. I also think I can relate on the 'interesting people' thing. I'm something of a recreational sociologist (not my college major, but I study it on my own). I like to analyze people, even when I'm talking casually with them. Sometimes I think I could write a book on good conversation techniques, but then I try to humble myself a bit.


that's good to know....
i will say that i'm easily to be influence by the way people talking to me...
i'm myself wouldn't call i'm analyzing people but simply learn about others personality when i talk to them...
just to satisfy my own personal interest....
by the way....why not u write the book...i would need one of that book
i even thinking of suggesting u to be a column writer or something like that..
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Posted 9/4/08

born2bfast wrote:

that's good to know....
i will say that i'm easily to be influence by the way people talking to me...
i'm myself wouldn't call i'm analyzing people but simply learn about others personality when i talk to them...
just to satisfy my own personal interest....
by the way....why not u write the book...i would need one of that book
i even thinking of suggesting u to be a column writer or something like that..



Well, I wouldn't write a book mostly because the most it could amount is a free online book. Quick info on the publishing world: Even the biggest name publishers tend only to sign on five more people each year, so it's a hard competition. Also Right now (and for the past 10 years) memoirs are the big craze, and I personally can't stand the 'every person' memoirs.

As far as being a columnist, I'm 18 and my major's in computer science. No editorial would hire me, not without going through all the bull of doing college news papers for free, and I'm not exactly mister 'extra curricular activities'. So right now my writing skills go to this, stuff I write for myself, and script writing for freeware games.
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Posted 9/5/08
I have a Q>
So if this guy likes me n I'm keep saying NOOOOOOOOOOO and he just doesn't get it!!
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Posted 9/5/08 , edited 9/8/08

Blue335 wrote:

I have a Q>
So if this guy likes me n I'm keep saying NOOOOOOOOOOO and he just doesn't get it!!


Well, a lot of guys get the idea that persistence pays off. It might in some situations, but during these it's just harassing you. How to handle this depends on the guy.

I'm guessing most guys around your age aren't exactly the most thoughtful people, so it's not likely you can reason with him. Part of his advances could be strictly attention based. In other words; don't react strongly to him at all. If he's funny, don't laugh. If he's weird, don't get freaked out. Some people just live for attention, and will do anything to get it. It's not likely he's enamored by you, at that age I don't think I know too many who knew what they wanted in a relationship; heck, very few do at my age. This is why his advances are undoubtedly related to self satisfaction, and often that's just attention.

In short; make yourself very boring, and he'll get bored of you.

[Edit: I wasn't specific enough]
Everything I said applies only in interactions towards the boy. You can even act excited towards your friends when he can see you. This may actually be better. Though it seems a little rough, if you act like he bores you immensely then he'll eventually move on.
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Posted 9/5/08
so, i have a few questions for you:

1. maybe its just to get in our pants or to date us, but why are guys so sweet to begin with, and then after 2 weeks or whatever, they turn into douche bags?

2. Why do guys always want a 3some?

3. I'm bisexual, so when a guy hits on me and i decline, he asks why and i say im interested in a girl right now. For some reason that doesnt seem a good enough answer for him and he persists on making me like him. Why?

4. I'm one of the girls that is one of the guys, so it works perfectly when just want to be friends with them, but at the same time, because i am one of the guys they look over me when it comes to potential girls they are going to date. However, im not the type to really girly myself for a man, but obviously being myself isnt enough, and i know others would say he isnt worth it, but what if i really really really like him?
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