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Posted 9/5/08

ginasaur wrote:

so, i have a few questions for you:

1. maybe its just to get in our pants or to date us, but why are guys so sweet to begin with, and then after 2 weeks or whatever, they turn into douche bags?

2. Why do guys always want a 3some?

3. I'm bisexual, so when a guy hits on me and i decline, he asks why and i say im interested in a girl right now. For some reason that doesnt seem a good enough answer for him and he persists on making me like him. Why?

4. I'm one of the girls that is one of the guys, so it works perfectly when just want to be friends with them, but at the same time, because i am one of the guys they look over me when it comes to potential girls they are going to date. However, im not the type to really girly myself for a man, but obviously being myself isnt enough, and i know others would say he isnt worth it, but what if i really really really like him?


1. Though it may not necessarily be sex. If a guy was nice at the start then started to change, he is more than likely showing his true colors. This means you have something he wants. It could be love, it could be sex, it could be attention, so on. Whatever it is, he knew he couldn't get it as himself and tried to change to better attract you.

2. Well, this is kind of tricky to call, but I would tie it to pornography. Our culture had made it seem so normal that nearly all men look at it. Since a straight man wont want to see naked men too much, but still want to see intercourse; they opt for lesbian material. Based on this, I think men have some sort of society forced lesbian fetish. So with sex you often want to incorporate fetishes into sex. If you have one of lesbians then that only means a threesome. Also could be a domination thing, imagining themselves the center of two women. If they want one with a man, it could still be a domination thing, by putting you in a spot of very oppressed.

3. Well many men see bisexuals as straight girls who are just open minded. I would agree many bisexual girls do so out of rebellion, and generally stop as they get older. This creates a bad environment for a genuine bisexual, as simple-minded men can't see a lesbian relationship as anything serious. A the same time the man could have his reasons, he could doubt the relationship or see that as simply an excuse to avoid him. For slow guys who just want gratification, they wont be halted by rejection; overcoming it is something of dominating you.

4. Though it can be kind of hard, I've found my life a lot easier as soon as I was more direct. If you like a guy, try to address him about it. The quicker you address any situation, the faster it's resolved and that's one stress gone. I would assume a straight guy can always see a girl in a relationship. Just when you're friends, he might want to protect that. I've seen many men avoid a relationship, even lie saying they only kind of like them just to make sure you stay friends. If he could like you, and he's smart enough, he'll see it; so again, talking to him directly about it is a good method. A friend can be a friend past rejection.
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Posted 9/6/08
Well, what do you mean just make myself boring!
I have friends and what would they think if I act boring and guess what I have alot of after school stuff and club that I'm in that being boring just doesn'e fit in!!
I don't have time to be boring!!
But thanks for all your help!!
For real...
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Posted 9/6/08 , edited 9/8/08

Blue335 wrote:

Well, what do you mean just make myself boring!
I have friends and what would they think if I act boring and guess what I have alot of after school stuff and club that I'm in that being boring just doesn'e fit in!!
I don't have time to be boring!!
But thanks for all your help!!
For real...


[Edited]
-Made previous answer more specific-
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Posted 9/8/08
K thx for the help if I need I'll ask you another Q. when it's needed thx......
Oh yah how old r u again? just asking!!
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Posted 9/8/08

Blue335 wrote:

K thx for the help if I need I'll ask you another Q. when it's needed thx......
Oh yah how old r u again? just asking!!


No problem, I should have been more specific. Also, I'm 18 years old, in my first year of college now. Older then most of you, younger than a few.
Posted 9/10/08 , edited 9/10/08
i have this question in my mind and i duno the answer..
Why the boys can't understand the girls at all...??
there's only few of guys that understand..girls !!
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Posted 9/10/08

pinkyoo wrote:

i have this question in my mind and i duno the answer..
Why the boys can't understand the girls at all...??
there's only few of guys that understand..girls !!


Well, there's two ways of looking at this and I frankly agree with both:

1.) There are several influences that would lead a guy to more strength/courage over intelligence. Most guys are raised to physically overcome any obstacles, not to think. Though I was also raised to be the tough one among all my siblings (I was the only boy) I would have to try to understand or face alienation. Many guys aren't put into such a spot. Also the world somewhat objectifies women; using ads on the street with the backside of a naked woman, tv glamorizing strong protective jerks, so on. There's something of a societal mold for men to follow and it doesn't involve emotions.

In short: Most boys are raised to not care how a girl works.

2.) Most people don't understand how other people work. A guy might assume taking control of a situation involving a girl would make her idolize him, but actually come off as a controlling jerk. In the same way a girl could try to catch a mans eye with appealing outfits or light flirting, and end up coming off as a loose or silly girl. It's hard to tell what people want you to do and that's why so many just try to look as good as they can, because what else can they do to get a lover?

In short: Most people don't understand their gender or the other.
Posted 9/11/08 , edited 9/11/08


ooh i see well it's kinda complicated but i understand anyway the whole life is complicated !
but thx -^ ^-
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Posted 9/11/08

pinkyoo wrote:
ooh i see well it's kinda complicated but i understand anyway the whole life is complicated !
but thx -^ ^-


Basically boys are usually raised to not care about others most of the time.
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Posted 9/11/08
i ur advice
I have a ? if u can answer it thanx
So if girls say that this one guy likes u but ur not sure urself and they say that he keeps staring at you and tries to get close to u in any possible way how can u tell if that guy really likes u or is just being himself?
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Posted 9/11/08
i mean i like ur advice
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Posted 9/11/08 , edited 9/11/08

mimi12marire wrote:

i [like] ur advice
I have a ? if u can answer it thanx
So if girls say that this one guy likes u but ur not sure urself and they say that he keeps staring at you and tries to get close to u in any possible way how can u tell if that guy really likes u or is just being himself?


Well you can refer to my answer for how to tell if a guy really likes you here:
http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-312855/Ask-A-Guy.html?fpid=15903147

But this isn't the exact same situation. If you're at all curious in the boy then I would try to provide opportunities for him to be around you. If you're too shy to outright say hi, then at least ask you friends to somehow involve him in a discussion with you and your friends.

More than likely, he's enamored with you right now. Since he probably doesn't know you too well, this is as close as it gets right now. That's why it's good to provide a situation where he can see more of you, so he can get a better idea if he likes you or not. At the same time, him being around so much will help you decide if you share his sentiment. Once you're close enough to where you're interacting with him at all, refer to the answer I linked to above.

And thanks, I'm kinda hoping some people get something from this. I enjoy writing it, but it would be a shame if I was doing it for nothing.
Posted 9/12/08 , edited 9/12/08
i have a question..what if "you" like a guy who was once your best friend's boyfriend?? i mean..should "you" continue liking him or what?

p/s:the ''you'' refers to general people..
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Posted 9/12/08
your advice is really good, I'm sure you're helping a lot of us out there. thanks so much
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Posted 9/12/08 , edited 9/12/08
Sorry about the late response, I had work today.


allanimelover wrote:

i have a question..what if "you" like a guy who was once your best friend's boyfriend?? i mean..should "you" continue liking him or what?

p/s:the ''you'' refers to general people..


[assume by you or your I refer to this public]
This is kind of tricky. Really the best thing to do is reason it out. First consider why your friend broke up with them. Who was dissatisfied with who and is that important to you? On what terms did it end? A key thing to think of is if your friend still has some feelings for the boy; if they do, be a good friend and hold off. If they don't consider why they broke up, why would it work better with you? Will he be happier with you? So on.

It can be hard if you reason the relationship wouldn't work. Even recently I gave up on someone because inside I knew we wouldn't be happy enough with each other. It's hard, maybe impossible to stop liking someone. It's just something you'll have to live through.

In short; if it wont bother your friend, and you can see you and the boy happier together it's fine. Otherwise, be a good friend, and be reasonable.

[Edit]
After talking to a few of my friends (who are girls) it seems surprisingly unanimous how much they stand against it. Because of this I would be very careful, unless you're sure your friend wouldn't care, don't date the boy. A best friend is far more important than a possible relationship.



micko113

your advice is really good, I'm sure you're helping a lot of us out there. thanks so much



Really this topic is no problem to me. I'm happy to see enough people don't see me as pretentious or something. I'm also a very bored person since I recently moved somewhere where I don't have any friends.
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