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10 commandments of anime
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Posted 9/7/08
1. Thou shalt only move if lines are behind thee

Surely the first stone tablet must have said that unless random coloured lines that bare no resemblance to the background at all appear behind every character when they move - and make them appear to be moving at 70mph – then your animé is going straight to hell. Speed-lines have become more sophisticated and the animators do not tend to use the same speed-lines backgrounds over and over, the lines also now tend to blend better with their surroundings. But the fact remains they must be in all animé no matter what.

2. Thou shalt have a face that defies all convention

Have you ever seen anyone with eyes the size of frying pans and a mouth the size of ant? Unless you’ve been doing experiments you shouldn’t have, then it’s unlikely. But the second tablet states that this is how all animé characters must look, no exception. Those who deviate from this rule cannot imply the other commandments as easily. If you are wondering how someone came up with this style of human representation, then look at early American animation from the 20’s & 30’s. This is the style that originally inspired animé artists, who eventually evolved the style into their own.

3. Thou shalt look hard when there is a breeze

The only time wind will blow in animé when someone is trying to look hard. How they manage to do it every time the wind happens to blowing is something other characters never question because they know that wind means business. Emotions of the characters caught up in the wind can be measured by the Beaufort scale: a breeze will mean uncertainty in a stand-off, a medium wind that only effects the character’s cape will mean they are plotting something and a force ten gale that effects all their surroundings (but not them) will mean sheer determination. If they are stood on a cliff and the camera is panning around them as well, then you know someone is in trouble.

4. Thou shalt make reference to sex

Whether it is the demon fantasies of Go Nagai, the light-hearted romance of Sailor Moon or the pervy old bloke, all animé contains a sexual reference of some sort no matter how small. Obsession with schoolgirl uniforms, impossible nosebleeds and gender bending are all examples of sex in animé. The sexual tension of such mainstream shows as Neon Genesis Evangelion and Brock’s attempts at getting girls in Pokémon serve as less obvious examples. Homoeroticism is also common in many animé in shows such as Trigun and Dragonball Z. One thing all of the animé mentioned here have in common is that they are far from being sexual reference free and there are very few animé that are.

5. Thou shalt settle differences only through fighting

If there isn’t a fight in an animé, Satan has interfered somehow. Animé aimed at all ages have fights in them at some point and very often it is just between a small group of individuals, not large armies. All kinds of emotions will be represented by moves used in the fights, fireballs often representing sheer frustration. Despite this display of violence many animé usually result in a good ending or a strong message that violence is very very wrong, but is highly entertaining nevertheless.

6. Thou shalt sweat when not hot

Did someone turn the heating up? Nope, it’s just someone who can’t express their true feelings. Although this emotion is often just represented by a small drop of sweat running down the character’s forehead, sweating has gone further with gigantic drops on people’s hair portraying failure and even people attacking others with the almighty sweat drop. Sweating is legendary in animé but it is not quite certain why this is essential in animé as in real life it is doubtful you would stay near someone who sweated so profusely.

7. Thou shalt contain huge robots

Having mechs the size of the Tower Of Babel isn’t true of all animé but it has become such a symbol of animé culture, they couldn’t have possibly not been on one of the stone tablets. Whether they are piloted weapons or fighting of their accord, mechs always make their presence known and will continue to do so in the future. If mechs aren’t present in an animé then it is likely that a huge Godzilla-like creature, cyborg or a human who needs help from machine will fill in for them keeping the size/technology in order. Recent shows like Dai-Guard have also proved that mech shows can be funny and don’t always have to be piloted by school kids.

8. Thou shalt have a theme tune

An animé without a theme tune is nothing. A well-thought out theme tune can be pivotal to an animé’s success as the best are often catchy, quirky but never too off-the-wall. It is hard to think of an animé that doesn’t have a theme preceding it and it is hard to forget the themes of those that do. Themes to Love Hina and Sakura Wars are examples of many that will not be forgotten. No animé director seems to have the idea of not having a theme tune yet, maybe they will be lynched if they did.

9. Thou shalt shamelessly promote thy show with cheap merchandise

Merchandise for a show is often important to recuperate the show’s budget, but don’t DVD and soundtrack sales generate enough? What’s with the sweets, cereals, pens, capsule toys, toasters and bad figure range? For serious animé such as Akira, Serial Experiments Lain and of course Neon Genesis Evangelion to have merchandise such as fluffy chibi dolls and lunchboxes there must be a higher power saying ‘you must sell out…you MUST sell out!’.

10. Thou shalt confuse thy viewer

An animé just isn’t the same unless you can’t work out what the hell is going on. The final commandment doesn’t just apply to strange sci-fi either, it applies to all genres. You must having been watching Pokémon at least once and thought ‘why don’t they never go to school?’ or ‘why has Ghastly just turned into a fire extinguisher?’. In many comedy animé objects will appear from nowhere to hit a character and in sci-fi the meaning of life will be questioned, answered and then asked again. Most animé will also end without any real goals being achieved. True, this is more a commandment of Japanese story-telling rather then animé, but the plot of animé is what wins the acclaim at the end of the day.

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Posted 9/7/08
Condensed Version:
1.Thou shalt waste time
2.Thou shalt waste time
3.Thou shalt waste time
4.Thou shalt waste time
5.Thou shalt waste time
6.Thou shalt waste time
7.Thou shalt waste time
8.Thou shalt waste time
9.Thou shalt waste time
10.Thou shalt waste time
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28 / M / Parking lot...
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Posted 9/7/08

voidlugiron wrote:

Condensed Version:
1.Thou shalt waste time
2.Thou shalt waste time
3.Thou shalt waste time
4.Thou shalt waste time
5.Thou shalt waste time
6.Thou shalt waste time
7.Thou shalt waste time
8.Thou shalt waste time
9.Thou shalt waste time
10.Thou shalt waste time


AMEN..!!
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22 / M / ...........
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Posted 9/7/08
if there's a commandment whos the god............... ?
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Posted 9/7/08

zendude wrote:


h4rd2 wrote:


voidlugiron wrote:

Condensed Version:
1.Thou shalt waste time
2.Thou shalt waste time
3.Thou shalt waste time
4.Thou shalt waste time
5.Thou shalt waste time
6.Thou shalt waste time
7.Thou shalt waste time
8.Thou shalt waste time
9.Thou shalt waste time
10.Thou shalt waste time


AMEN..!!


The Pope Approves



second that
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27 / F / * Your Nightmare *
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Posted 9/7/08
Hahaha funny thread!
This brightens my day up before I have to go back to school....
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32 / M / Little Red Dot ne...
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Posted 9/7/08
== Its a copy paste...If he really type it he really has alot of time, coz to actually remember to put "é" in every sentence that has the word animé is amazing..

Look at this site... http://www.animetion.co.uk/features/feature1.htm for his copy paste

Heres another commandment made by a guy from absolute anime forum topic "The 12 Commandment of anime".

The 12 commandments of Anime
1. Thou shall know what mainstreamers are
2. Thou shall not think thou knows all
3. Thou is not a anime fanatic/otaku because one focuses on a single anime
4. Thou shall realise what is anime and what is a cartoon
5. Thou will never blame anime for growing to have mentall illnesses/become a psychopath
6. Thou will never turn thy back on anime
7. Thou will honour/respect other animes even when thou does no favor a certain one
8. Thou shall be friends and make friends with other anime lovers
9. Thou shall try and watch different animes, even with subtitles (aka broaden your horizons)
10. Thou shall read manga
11. Thou shall not destroy any anime material(s)
12. Anime is thy friend, not thy enemy

And heres a 10 Commandment of Teenagers from a blog at myanimelist site..

1. Thou shall not sneak out when their parents are sleeping (why wait?)
2. Thou shall not do drugs (alcohol lasts longer)
3. Thou shall not steal from K-mart (Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4. Thou shall not get arrested for vandalism (destruction has a bigger effect)
5. Thou shall not steal from their parents (everyone knows Grandma has more money)
6. Thou shall not get into fights (start them)
7. Thou shall not skip class (take the whole day off)
8. Thou shall not go to strip clubs (Hooters has better food)
9. Thou shall not think about having sex (like Nike says... just do it)
10. Thou shall not help old ladies cross the street (leave them in the middle)
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Posted 9/7/08

zendude wrote:


roby55 wrote:

if there's a commandment whos the god............... ?




umm lol no ones there O.o
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32 / M / Little Red Dot ne...
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Posted 9/7/08

roby55 wrote:


zendude wrote:


roby55 wrote:

if there's a commandment whos the god............... ?




umm lol no ones there O.o


That means no one or anyone can be god...including us.
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25 / M / This Dying World
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Posted 9/7/08
I do not remember giving my prophet, any commandments yet -_-
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Posted 9/7/08

Tempura-sama wrote:


roby55 wrote:


zendude wrote:


roby55 wrote:

if there's a commandment whos the god............... ?




umm lol no ones there O.o


That means no one or anyone can be god...including us.





XD
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23 / F / Into the fires of...
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Posted 9/7/08
haha wow..you must have alot of free time to think all that up....
nice thread! haha made me laugh even though i was in a bad mood (homework..ugh)
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Posted 9/7/08

roby55 wrote:


Tempura-sama wrote:


roby55 wrote:


zendude wrote:


roby55 wrote:

if there's a commandment whos the god............... ?




umm lol no ones there O.o


That means no one or anyone can be god...including us.


XD


Yup...its God's Uno Wild Card...
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25 / M / Where I hope bori...
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Posted 9/7/08 , edited 9/7/08

xXxSW33TH34RTxXx wrote:

Hahaha funny thread!
This brightens my day up before I have to go back to school....


Don't mention that!! either way i have to go on Wednesday
This thread is hilarious, specially the Pope thing, I overly agree with the commandment
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30 / F / ♥♥♥PaRaDiSe PiNk♥♥♥
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Posted 9/7/08
Funny threads...........
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