Grand List of Console RPG Cliches
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21 / F / SDF-1
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Posted 4/1/07 , edited 4/1/07
http://www.public.iastate.edu/~dstarks/rpg.html


Love those.

Law of NPC Relativity (Magus Rule)
Characters can accomplish superhuman physical feats, defeat enemies with one hand tied behind their back and use incredible abilities -- until they join your party and you can control them. Then these wonderful powers all vanish, along with most of their hit points.

Gender Equality, Part 1
Your average female RPG character carries a variety of deadly weapons and can effortlessly hack or magic her way through armies of monsters, killer cyborgs, and mutated boss creatures without breaking a sweat. She may be an accomplished ninja, a superpowered secret agent, or the world's greatest adventurer. However, if one of the game's villains manages to sneak up and grab her by the Standard Female Character Grab Area (her upper arm) she will be rendered utterly helpless until rescued by the hero.
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34 / M / 中国
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Posted 4/2/07
Logan's Run Rule
RPG characters are young. Very young. The average age seems to be 15, unless the character is a decorated and battle-hardened soldier, in which case he might even be as old as 18. Such teenagers often have skills with multiple weapons and magic, years of experience, and never ever worry about their parents telling them to come home from adventuring before bedtime. By contrast, characters more than twenty-two years old will cheerfully refer to themselves as washed-up old fogies and be eager to make room for the younger generation.

God that has always pissed me off. I also hate it when I see elite 17 year old Colonels - particularly when they have some 40-year old lower ranked and gleefully serving them. Being ex-military, that's like pouring salt in an open wound.
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26 / M / porter,tx/us
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Posted 4/2/07
item rule something will always heal your charecter 40% life and then you find a full heal
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29 / M / San Francisco, CA
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Posted 4/2/07
I liked the "mommy, why didn't they use a Phoenix Down on Aeris?" rule. I was sitting there like...are you serious? Some games say that if one of your dudes get killed in battle it's actually called getting "KO'd" so I guess they aren't dead. But let's face it, getting smacked by a humongous spell that the bad guys throws at you will make you only black out?? Come on!
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31 / M / New York
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Posted 4/2/07
Second Law of Travel
There will be only one of any non-trivial type of vehicle in the entire world. Thus, only one ocean-capable steamboat, only one airship, and so forth. Massive facilities will have been constructed all over the world to service this one vehicle.

I lol'd.
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29 / M / San Francisco, CA
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Posted 4/2/07
The Compulsories
There's always a fire dungeon, an ice dungeon, a sewer maze, a misty forest, a derelict ghost ship, a mine, a glowing crystal maze, an ancient temple full of traps, a magic floating castle, and a technological dungeon.

That just about sums up Chrono Trigger and Secret of Mana
Posted 4/4/07
just about everyone of these i realised besides
Sleepyhead Rule
Typically, the teenaged male lead will begin the first day of the game by oversleeping, being woken up by his mother, and being reminded that he's slept in so late he missed meeting his girlfriend.
now that i think about it a lot of old rpgs start this way
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26 / M / I'd tell ya but t...
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Posted 1/30/08
the hero must always be an orphan, and they must be able to enter random peoples' houses and loot their stuff in front of the owner of the fore said house
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30 / M / New Jersey
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Posted 1/31/08
Sephiroth Memorial Escape Clause
Any misdeed up to and including multiple genocide is forgiveable if you're cool enough

The Moral Of The Story (Ghaleon Rule)
Every problem in the universe can be solved by finding the right long-haired prettyboy and beating the crap out of him.

and my fav
Last Rule of Politics
Kingdoms are good. Empires are evil.
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30 / M / Inside a Tauntaun...
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Posted 2/7/08
mc hammer style treasures. you can't touch them until the final dungeon and when you do it's either useless items or the best items in the game but the game ends soon so you don't have alot of time with it
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32 / M / The land below th...
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Posted 2/9/08
*mesmerized*

I can't believe there actually got people observing this. It's fun to read though ~
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24 / M / Amurka
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Posted 2/9/08
the TBC rpgs suck
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21 / F / England
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Posted 3/5/08

dragonkid wrote:

the hero must always be an orphan, and they must be able to enter random peoples' houses and loot their stuff in front of the owner of the fore said house


good one...that about sums up the Atelier Iris games...
[here we go-
Lita's mother died. as far as we know, Klein don't have a family.
Viese, Felt, Noin, Fee, and Iris Blanchimont are orphans
Edge lost his family, Iris is living away from her family with Edge]
and yes...there are always random bags, barrels, and chests inside people's houses with items and the person in the house just stands there. XD
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27 / M / bacoor, cavite
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Posted 3/5/08
rule of immortality on rpg

characters never have to eat, drink, sleep, take a bath or take a shit for a month unless you make them do it....
they can survive with potions or any other revitalizing fluids without professional medical help.(i wonder how they make potions...)

rule of "im friends with everyone"

your character can engage a conversation with anyone and do not feel shy even if its the first time
they saw them..(as long as you push the talk button)
they also have a very thick face(makapal ang mukha) to enter a house without knocking and get whatever item they want
without the owners consent.
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