Post Reply "Miadra High" by dominicannena1
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Posted 9/14/08 , edited 11/17/08


Preface

Ugh!! Just when i thought my life can't get more pathetic, i fall in love with him. Out of no where I just save him from a monster, exposing my family! Sure i'm the best, yeah right! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why does he have to be so nice and cute.

I never thought this would happen. For him to get targeted. Also, as if things couldn't get any worse, I have to explain. I think he's scared of me. Now he'll never even look at my face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1: The Haruno Family

"Whoo-hoo! Get up sleeping beauty. We have to go to scho-ol", Kita, my not-so-inspiring older sister, rang.

"Don't you have some soap to shove in your mouth? Ugh, Get out of here, let me sleep you idiotic baffoon", I responded, half emotionless, half yawning.

"Fine then, we'll do it the hard way." She started to pull at my feet.

"No! Stop! Nii-chan! No! Let go! Let me sleep! Nooo! Nii-chan! Help me!", I yelled, as if she was trying to rip my legs off.

"What is going on?", A slightly deep voice said,"Geez Kita, give her a break, she is the youngest after all."

"Sister complex. Always taking her side. She called me an idiotic baffoon, whatever that is."

"You are one. Oh and by the way it means your a stupid monkey. Also, Kimiko your going to be late.", Mila, Kita's much more responsible twin, remarked.

"Well you could have just told me that."

I quickly rushed out of bed to get prepared. I brushed my hair and teeth, prepared toast while i took a bath, got dressed, grabbed my toast, suitcase and stood at the door beside everyone.

"Weady", I said, my mouth full of toast.

"Alright. Let's go",my older brother said.

We started to walk to school.

We just moved into Tokyo, Japan, so this is our first day at Miadra High. Miadra High School is one the most populated high schools here. They say it has the advantages of a private school in a public school. That means no uniforms, but the same education as a private school, plus a bit more.

I live with my older brother, Kai, he has jet black, slightly spiked hair, emerald blue eyes, and pale skin. My older twin sisters, Mila and Kita, they have dark blue hair, light blue eyes, and pale skin. The only diffence between them is they're sense of style. Kita has a punk theme, always wearing the latest styles, highlighting her hair and almost never tieing it. Mila has a school girl influence, her hair is either in a ponytail or bun, and she wears glasses.

I'm the odd one out of the bunch. I have a 13th century gothic theme to my outfits, wearing dresses inspired by the time era, sometime even gothic lolita. My hair is shaved in the back, so i have almost no hair there, and two strands of hair in the front, one shorter than the other. I have snow white pale skin. I am a heterochromiac, I have different color eyes, one ruby red and the other saphire blue. Oh and I forgot, Kimiko, Kimiko Haruno.

All together we're the Haruno Family. We live on 666 Angel Ave., about six block down the school

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~....~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As we arrived at the school, a cheery girl is hopping over to us as she said...
"Welcome to Miadra High!"




Chapter 2: Welcome to Miadra

"Welcome to Miadra High School! You must be new here. Nice to meet you, I'm Maris Aizawa, the school prefect. Hope you enjoy your stay!"

"Pleased to be your acquaintance.", I responded emotionless.

"Always with the politeness. Sure but you never use it in the house, do ya.",Kita smirked.

"As far as I know you in no position or rank to even speak to me. Prehistoric bum.", I said ingenuously.

"Stop that. calling me names like your a critic.",She said annoyed.

"Never. And I am a critic which is why I have the authority to name your rank."'I said, though i sounded like my grandma when i said that.

"I hate you.", She said, glaring at me.

"I despise you with a loathing.", I said rapidly.

She gasped. "You evil child."

I ingnored her and turned to Maris. "May you give us a tour of the school?"

"Sure!", She said cheerfully

We started to walk in throught the main door.

The lobby was beatiful, granite floors, gold railings on granite grand staircase, perfectly proportioned chandeliers, all together it was a work of art.

"Sugoi.", I whispered to myself in amazement.

"The room itself is priceles and one of a kind. Almost everything in here is made out od granite and gold..", She said, as if she was proud of herself.

"This is very interesting.", Mila said, in a critic-like fashion.

Kita seemed uninterested and Nii-chan was not paying full attention either.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We couldn't see the whole school. Most areas were restricted, and we didn't have time, we had to go to class. All I could say right now is the best part was the lobb, and ....... well.... i really wanted to to see the rose garden, but it was restricted too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As we walked outside, many wondering faces turned to us. as i looked around, I also saw some girls whispering in each other's ears, as if they know somthing about us we don't know.
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Posted 9/16/08
This is good! I really like the preface. It's kinda funny how she says the stuff, like "Why did he have to be so nice and cute?
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Posted 9/16/08
Hmm, this looks like it will b an interesting one to read! The chapters are a little short, but pretty cool story line, can't wait for what will happen next. I'm also a Goth Lolita lover myself, dress as one every Sunday! lols, keep up the good work!
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Posted 9/17/08
This story is nice and calm right now. Take whatever pace you want and I will happily read it at that pace.
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Posted 9/25/08
Chapter 3: Friends, Foes, & The Mystery

One of the whispering girls starts walking towards us.

"Hello there, you must be the new transfers. I'm Janie Sa-", she was cut of short.

"I'm Shayndel Niwa. Don't mind Janie, she's the 'Queen Bee'. Instead come hang with me.", she said.

Janie is a blondie with light green eyes. She dresses in a prep-school manner. Her voice kind of tells me she's gonna be a pain.

The other girl, Shayndel, black almost midnight blue hair with matching eye color. Her sense of style mimics that of Kita. There's something about her that gives me the feeling she's gonna be of some use.

Janie clears her throat. "Like i was saying, I'm Janie Sato, and I can garantee that if you 'hang' with me, you'll be popular. So, what do you say?"

"No.", I responded bluntly.

"How da-"

I cut her off. "No." I started to walk away with everyone else.

"You'll regret dening me.", Janie shrieked.

We all ignored her.

"Say, Shayndel, let's say we hang out some time. I like you already.", kita said.

"Alright. When I get free time I'll take you to one of the best places in Tokyo, 'kay?"

"Alright"

"I'm surprised you even made a friend", I said teasingly.

"Ha ha very funny.", she said sarcastically.

I ignored her like always. I spotted a nearby tree and perched up on one of it's branches. I could see almost everyone in the front of the school, particularly a boy who resemble my brother except he had white hair and was much more muscular. I couldn't see his eyes, his hair was covering then. As I kept looking around I saw two boys approaching us. One had one brown hair with matching eye color. The other one had dark blue hair and clear gray eyes.

The brown hair kid approached us first. "Hey! You ladies new here?", he said referring to Mila, Kita, and myself, ignoring my brother's presence.

"Hey! Are you some kind of serial killer?", said in a sarcastic sort of way.

"Ehh! Come on, do I really look like that?"

"No. I just don't like you."

His friend reached us.

"Not having a good time introducing your self?", he said to his friend in a teasing manner.

"Hi Killer's friend.", I said in a childish way.

"Wow even the new girl doesn't like you already. Nice to meet you, I'm Kei.", He said putting out his hand so i can shake it.

I jumped down and shook his hand. "I'm Kimiko, this is my brother Kai, and these are the twins Mila & Kita.", I said pointing to each person as I said their name.

"Well nice to meet you, too.", He said kindly referring to my siblings.

"Oh I forgot. I'm Yosuke Mina, nice to meet ya.", He said with a grin.

I ignored him and looked behind him. The white hair guy wasn't there anymore. "I'm going to look around", said absent minded.

"Ok. just don't get in trouble.", Mila said.

I left.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For some reason I decided to ignore Mila. My yearning & constant inner pleading to go to the forbidden rose garden had been heard. I managed to get over the gate,and get in.

It was the most beatiful i'd ever seen. Brightly colored, full bloomed roses and flowers of all kinds. In the middle was a gazebo with a piano placed inside it.

As I looked more closely I saw him, the guy with the white hair. He was playing a melody on the piano. It was so beautiful. It just made me want to sing so badly.


♪Like a shadow foreseen
Through a grayish white screen
Like an angel walking through a winter scene.

Oh how I wish that you could you see...
As beautiful as porcelain...
As fragil as can be..
Me.♪


When I finished, the guy looked up. I was about to introduce myself to him, but he left too quickly. I guess he'll just remain a mystery for now.

As I left, I felt as if someone had been watching me.
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Posted 10/6/08
There is a strange separation I must point out, between the somewhat sloppy grammer of the execution, and the power of the intended meaning. In other words, your dialogue is riddled with errors, but if it wasn't, it would seem quite natural. It avoids some of the boring norms of dialogue that get on my nerves.

How many episodes will you spend introducing characters like this?

Also, your little poem is nice.
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Posted 10/7/08

The_8th_Sin wrote:

There is a strange separation I must point out, between the somewhat sloppy grammer of the execution, and the power of the intended meaning. In other words, your dialogue is riddled with errors, but if it wasn't, it would seem quite natural. It avoids some of the boring norms of dialogue that get on my nerves.

How many episodes will you spend introducing characters like this?

Also, your little poem is nice.


well i already introduced the last character in the 4th chapter which i still need to post up. it's just that school n everything is getting in the way. i will let you know when i post more chapters up. and if you have any ideas let me know and i will think about. thank you.
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Posted 11/15/08
Chapter 4: Mystery Uncovered

Up until lunch, the day has passed in a blur. I didn't even notice if the white haired kid was in my class. Heck, I don't even know if they mentioned his name. All I thought about was him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's lunch now. I usually eat with my brother but, since I happened to catch a glipse of that guy, i'm eating on the roof. So, I quickly got my obento & eagerly walked to the top.

As I got there I only saw him there, sitting behind the tower so no one could see him.

"Um...c-can I eat here...uh with...you?", I say said emotionlessly shy, as always.

"...Go ahead...I don't care...". He seemed to be mad.

I went over without a word. I sat about two feet away from him. I finally managed to see his face.

He had the most beatiful clear white eyes. His face looked so solitary though. I noticed he seemed have a baby face. The thought of it made me smile.

"What's wrong with you?", he said, looking at my sudden smile.

"N-nothing." The grin quickly turned to a frown.

"Aren't you the new girl from Osaka or something?"

"It's Hokkaido, and yea i'm new."

"So, I see"

"..." I stayed quiet. "W-what's your name?"

"Yuuki Taeda. your?"

"Kimiko Haruno." So his name is Yuuki. Yuuki means Snow. I think it suits him.

"Have you seen the school yet?"

"Yea, it's pretty nice", I said, at that moment realizing I haven't touched my lunch. I started to eat it, not wanting to go to waste.

"What's your favorite place?"

I shuddered at the question, for I worried if he'd get mad. I reversed the question."What's yours?"

He chuckled for the first time. "Tell me yours first, or what, are you scared i'll laugh"

"You shouldn't be talking. You skipped the question first!", with enthusiasm for the first time today.

"It's stupid, and you won't believe me."

"Hit me. Come on, I won't laugh."

"The rose garden."

"Oh." So it was him playing the piano. "Do you an instrument?", I asked, determined to get to know him more.

"The piano...", he stated in a daze, "Even though it's closed to students, I still find a way in there. I don't have a piano at home or take lessons, so I go to the gazebo in the garden..." He trailed off as if he said to much.

I closed my eyes and tied to remember. I immediately started to sing the melody from this morning.

His eyes grew wide. "Where you there this morning?"

"Y-yes"

"You were the one singing, weren't you?"

"I-I was"

I was done with my lunch. Lunchtime wasn't ever yet though. I stood up and leaned over the edge. He stood up next to me.

"Well is that a definite answer?"

"Were you the one playing the piano?"

"Yea"

"The melody was beatiful"

"It was a melody my father used to play."

"Oh" To think he lost someone too.

"I only live with my sister mother now", he continued.

"I...I lost both my parents. I live with my siblings now", I said, head down, back to my emotionless self.

"Sorry 'bout that."

'No need for that."

The bell rang. It was true to go in.

"Well see you some other time." He left.

I didn't listen. I was to much in a daze to.

(yes i know it's mostly dialogue. With school and every thing it's kinda hard to add more. so if you have any ideas feel free to PM me)
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Posted 11/15/08

The_8th_Sin wrote:

There is a strange separation I must point out, between the somewhat sloppy grammer of the execution, and the power of the intended meaning. In other words, your dialogue is riddled with errors, but if it wasn't, it would seem quite natural. It avoids some of the boring norms of dialogue that get on my nerves.

How many episodes will you spend introducing characters like this?

Also, your little poem is nice.


I posted the 4th chapter.
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