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A Joke Or Some Prank
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28 / Philippines
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Posted 8/28/06 , edited 8/28/06
new topic name:JOKES AND PRANKS SECTION :))
well post jokes or two or some pranks, pictures are accepted lols
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35 / M / Probably on the p...
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Posted 8/28/06
Alright.....hmm.....

There are two blondes following some tracks and arguing about what they came from. the first blonde looks at them and says, "These are definitely deer tracks." The second blonde looks at them and says, "These are definitely bear tracks." About that time, the train hits them.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Interupting Cow.
The Interup-MOOOOO!!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.
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31 / F / Florida
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Posted 8/28/06
Pranks! I love pranks!
I wanted to pour powdered milk in the sheets of my evil roommie's bed but I wasn't allowed (because you sweat when you sleep and makes you horribly smelly!). Otherwise I do harmless stuff. Like tag people's cars with shoe polish with mean, but funny stuff. I wanted to pour bird seed on some girls parked car because birds would crap on it. There's telephone pranks and stuff but nothing too bad...yet.
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26 / M / Minnesota
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Posted 8/28/06
Kill a childs parents, that's a pretty good prank right there
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28 / Philippines
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Posted 8/28/06
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they
were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into
the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna
promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom, pulled Jim out
and brought him to his room.

When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she
immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital because
she now considered Edna to be mentally stable.
She went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some bad news.

The good news is that you're being discharged because you responded so
rationally to a crisis. By jumping in the pool to save the life of
another patient, you displayed sound mindedness. The bad news is that
Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in his bathroom with his
bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. When can
I go home??
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35 / M / Probably on the p...
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Posted 8/28/06
Put saran wrap on a toilet. If people do not pay attention, then they will hit to plastic wrap and make a mess.
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28 / Philippines
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Posted 8/28/06
Back ten centuries ago, the Pope decided that all the Muslims had to leave Jerusalem. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Muslim community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Muslim community. If the Muslim won the debate, all the Muslims could stay. If the Pope won, all the Muslims would have to leave.

The Muslims realised that they had no choice. They looked around for a champion who could defend their faith, but no one wanted to volunteer. It was too risky. But they finally picked their representative, an old Mullah who unknowingly agreed without knowing what he was getting himself into. He agreed only on the condition that neither side be allowed to talk but communicate by miming. The pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came. The Mullah and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. The Mullah looked back at him and raised his middle finger..

The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Mullah Nasruddin pointed to the ground and stamped his foot.

The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Mullah pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, 'I give up. This man is too good. The Muslims can stay.'

An hour later, the cardials were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said: "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and stamping on it, showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the water to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple, reminding me of the first sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Muslim community had crowded around the Mullah in total astonishmen. "What happened?" they asked. "Well,"said the Mullah, "First he said to me that we Muslims had three days to leave Jerusalem. I told him up yours. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Muslims. I said none of us leaving this land!"

"And then?" asked a woman.

"He took out his lunch and I took out mine," said the Mullah.
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27 / M / Chicago, USA
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Posted 8/28/06
So, one of my teachers told me about her son's senior prank. Pretty much we go to a school with about 3,000 students, and another few thousand faculty and staff. Anyway, this kid was working at Chuck E' Cheese and he slowly stole those little pit balls and took the ones they were going to throw out (appearntly they chronically buy new ones). So he was working there since his freshman year or before hand, I think he knew someone that worked there which is how he got the job. So, by the time his senior year runs around he decides to pull which is what I think one of the best pranks. Late at night he went into the school (our schools open pretty much 24/7) and closed all the doors leading into the main stairwell. Then him and his friends (who brought in backpacks and bags full of these balls) proceeded to fill up the stairwell with these balls. It took them several trips, considering the stairwell is 3 stories tall. All in all, no one could go through the main stairwell for a long time. No one dared to open any of the doors because the balls would just poor out. Fortunately there were glass windows on the doors so you could see, or else some unsuspecting soul would die a death of play pit balls.
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31 / M / Philippines
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Posted 8/28/06
A boy wanted to skip kindergarten so he could join the third graders. His teacher, shocked, took him to the principal’s office. The teacher and the principal decided to ask the boy a couple of questions as a test. “What is 3 x 3?” the principal asks. “9,” the boy answers. “What is 6 x 6?” the principal asks again. “36,” the boy answers.” The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, “I think he can go to the third-grade.” “Wait, let me ask him some more questions,” the teacher insists. The principal agrees. “What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?” the teacher asks. The principal’s eyes opened wide in horror. “Coconut,” the boy answers. “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?” the teacher continues. The principal can’t believe his ears. “Bubblegum,” the boy replies. “You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do,” the teacher goes on. “Tent,” the boy answers. “I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.” “Arrow,” the boy answers. “Damn it, put him in the sixth grade,” the principal interrupts. “I got all your questions wrong myself!”
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28 / Philippines
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Posted 8/28/06
The priest in a small Irish village loved the and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. But one Saturday night the went missing!

The priest knew that fights happened in the village so he started to question his parishioners in church the next morning.

During Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a ?"

All the men stood up.

"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a ?

All the women stood up.

"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a that doesn't belong to them?"

Half the women stood up.

"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY ?"

All the nuns, three altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up
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28 / Philippines
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Posted 8/28/06
Good day, everyone!

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam was having trouble with one of her students the teacher asked,"Boy, what is your problem?"

Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms. Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the principal's office.

While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.

Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms. Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the third-grade."

Ms. Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agree.

Ms. Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy, after a moment "Legs."

Ms. Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy: "Pockets."

Ms. Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut

Ms. Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum

Ms. Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy: Shake hands

Ms. Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.

Ms. Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent

Ms. Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring

Ms. Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose

Ms. Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow

Ms. Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck

Ms. Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it u have to use ur hand.
Boy: Fork

Ms. Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME

Ms. Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for ?
Boy: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this Boy to the University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!
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27 / M / Texas
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Posted 8/28/06
Try this sometime... when you go to the airport find someone who is reading a magazine or newspaper and stand next to them till they notice you then look them in the eyes (acting very serious ) and say dont get on the plane then walk away without saying another word or responding to anything they say

or this 1 get a pair of gloves and walk into a bank nudge the person in front of you till they look at you then start putting on the gloves and say "now would be a good time to leave"
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25 / M / Minnesota
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Posted 8/28/06
NUMO!!!
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27 / M / Chicago, USA
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Posted 8/28/06

Xspades wrote:

Try this sometime... when you go to the airport find someone who is reading a magazine or newspaper and stand next to them till they notice you then look them in the eyes (acting very serious ) and say dont get on the plane then walk away without saying another word or responding to anything they say

or this 1 get a pair of gloves and walk into a bank nudge the person in front of you till they look at you then start putting on the gloves and say "now would be a good time to leave"


That wouldn't fall under "pranks" in my opinion. That'd be: "Things that could get you arrested, thrown in jail, or shot for."
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27 / M / Texas
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Posted 8/28/06
still funny as shit lol
cmon can you honestly tell me that next time you are in either 1 of those situations a small part of your subconscious will tell you that you should do it
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