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Post Reply Does Age Matter in Friendship?
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Posted 4/14/14 , edited 4/14/14
Personally, I don't find age to be an influence in choosing friends.
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20 / M / Chicago, IL
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Posted 4/14/14
Not at all. Anybody can be friends with anyone. No matter how old they are.
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21 / M / Outer Space
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Posted 4/14/14
of course not. my 11 year old sister is best friends with this guy she met named jake who is 49. shes over at his house aaaaaaall the time and they have a lot of fun together
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18 / F / London
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Posted 4/15/14 , edited 4/15/14

lilaznmidgetdude wrote:

I don't think it does at all, I just think its harder to make friends that are older/younger and might be harder to stay in touch.


No way, friends are there to guide you or for you to guide them. I love having older and younger friends, you learn so much about behaviour! I don't know, I count certain adults as friends even though I'm a teenager and I love it.
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33 / M / Midwestern United...
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Posted 4/15/14
Of course age matters... but it doesn't have to prevent or even define a friendship. It usually will influence it, because "age" is one of those things that influences you as a person. Even separate from maturity - and you'll notice this as you get older - having the same chronological background is a part of having the same (or similar) backgrounds. Having different backgrounds is often enriching, but it does remove an area of common experience that is often useful for communication.

I don't have many close friends; of them one is a mentor figure and nearly twice my age. Another online acquaintance veering into "friend" territory is about half my age. There are things the elder friend experienced that I wasn't even alive for (or old enough to be aware of) while the younger friend hasn't experienced (or was too young to appreciate) many things for which I was front and center. These differences can be as significant as those between a friend and I who lived in the same state, but only for five or so years before events once again made us part, with him having lived in other countries as well.

It doesn't keep us from being friends, but it certainly is something to recognize and for which to adjust.
Posted 4/16/14 , edited 4/16/14
I have a friend who is 40 years older than me. He's like family to me. He has *cough* maids *cough* at his house 'cause he's a pimp .

But I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who's a lot younger than me because they might get judged negatively and I don't like people making skarky remarks about people I more or less care about. I wouldn't mind If I'm the only one being judged but that would never be the case as people see things in collectives.
Posted 4/16/14
Age doesn't matter. While growing up and spending 3 days/nights a week at a comic book store and the rest of my time in a MMORPG - all my friends were people older than me. The reason I don't befriend kids isn't because I am against it - I just find it weird being in the other shoes. I'd rather continue having friends +5-10 years older than me because, you know, their stories are far more interesting.
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M / New york
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Posted 4/16/14
Age Should Never Matter.
IMOO
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22 / M / Las Vegas
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Posted 4/16/14
Not really...
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Posted 4/16/14
In regards to a platonic relationship, I wouldn't think so. I guess it would depend on morals of the characters involved.
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M / Europe
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Posted 4/17/14 , edited 4/17/14
Right now I'm in a group of about 7-8 people hanging out quite a lot but it just seems to me the younger '' friends '' of mine are very often trying to prove themselves worth to be funny or '' cooler '' than they have to be to hang around with us which makes it so awkward to talk with them.
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Posted 4/17/14
yes if you're a 543 year old skeleton i will not talk to you
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22 / F / Virginia, US
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Posted 4/17/14 , edited 4/17/14
There is nothing particularly wrong with having friends of different ages, but there are some concerns.

First, if the person you're hanging out with is older than you, why are they hanging out with someone younger? Is it because they're immature or unable to make friends their own age? I notice, very often, that when older people hang out with younger people they have deep seeded issue about age acceptance, social responsibility, or general emotional unbalances. There are plenty of exceptions to this rule but it's important to notice red flags of these from older friends. Last things you want to do is enable their problems.

Second, if the person you're hanging out with is younger, you also need to think of why. Are they hanging out with you because they find you cool only because you're older? That doesn't make a very solid friendship. Are they looking at you as a replacement brother/sister/father/mother figure? Although some may be okay accepting that role in a friendship it can be a lot of pressure being a role model and supporter for someone you weren't prepared to be. Are they looking to get something out of you (such as feed off your financial or social success)? It's common for people to want to be close to someone successful so they can absorb the externalizes of their hard work. Although that is normally subconscious, not everyone is a mooching jerk, it builds a false foundation for the friendship.

Putting these two together, you might be the one of concern. You may be subconsciously trying to adsorb someone's success, you may be trying to mature yourself too quickly, you may not be maturing fast enough, you may not be accepting your social responsibilities as an adult, so on and so on.

There are other problems, but being part of a relationship where you're two very different ages you need to accept that these problems may be there. There are problems in almost every relationships; even ones that are cultural, racial, gender, age, health normative.


Edit: All that being said, I like to stay friends with people in my own age bracket.
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20 / M / United Federation...
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Posted 4/17/14
Nope.
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Posted 4/17/14 , edited 4/17/14
I guess it really depends on the person. Many people act differently when around older and younger people. Whether you're open to that or not is completely down to the two people and their relationship.
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