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Anti-Jokes
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27 / M / Totse
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Posted 10/21/06
Wow. that was sad.

-NS
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28 / Philippines
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Posted 4/27/07
Q. How many emos does it take to change a light bulb?

A. None, Emos cry in the dark.
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19 / SOUTHEAST ASIA
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Posted 8/1/08
what do ya mean by anti-jokes?
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31 / F / Philippines
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Posted 8/11/08
Q: Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?

A: When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
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28 / F / I'm in my happy p...
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Posted 8/11/08

xentile wrote:

Q. How many emos does it take to change a light bulb?

A. None, Emos cry in the dark.


Lmao. Though I think not all emos cry in the dark.
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Posted 8/11/08 , edited 8/11/08
A very rich man had a son. He was very proud of his son. The son was smart and diligent and did well in school.

On the son's 16th birthday, the father went to his son and said "son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you for your 16th birthday."

The son, without hesitation, asked his father for 1,000 green golf balls.

The father was taken aback. "But son, that's such a strange request! Might I remind you that I'm VERY rich, and I could buy you ANYTHING your heart desires?!"

But the son was adamant, and his father, though confused, honored his son's request.

Some years later the son graduated from college at the top of his class. His father, once again beaming with pride, came to his son.

"Son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you for your college graduation."

The son, without hesitation, asked his father for 2,000 green golf balls.

The father once again was confused, and a bit angry.

"Son, that's a ridiculous request! I'm offering to buy you ANYTHING you want! I'm a very rich man, and almost NOTHING is beyond my requisition! So please, reconsider, and tell me what you REALLY want!"

But the son was adamant, and his father, though bewildered and frustrated, honored his son's request.

Years later, the son, following in his father's footsteps, was a very successful businessman. He'd married a beautiful wife and borne his father many wonderful grandchildren.

One night as they ate dinner in an expensive restaurant, his father said to his son, "son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you in honor of your fantastic success and wonderful family."

Once again without blinking his son asked for 3,000 green golf balls.

Enraged, his father slammed his hands on the table and yelled, "WHY MUST YOU MOCK MY GENEROSITY SO?! FINE; YOU'LL HAVE YOUR STUPID GOLF BALLS, BUT YOU HAVE LOST YOURSELF A FATHER!"

And so the trade was made; the son's strange request for the animosity of his once-doting father.

Several years later, the father and the son not having spoken once since, the father got a call from a hospital informing him that his son had gotten into a terrible car accident and was dying. Forgetting all about his grudge against his son, the father flew down to his son's side in a flash. His son was conscious for the first time in days as his father arrived.

"Son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I'm so sorry for disowning you! I know I never should have! I'm so sorry for the years we've lost! But I must know, son, why did you want all those green golfballs; those wretched orbs that drove us apart?! Surely you had a grand design for them; you're the perfect son and I could not have asked for anything more in the world than you!"

His son, on death's door, looked into his father's eyes and said weakly, "well, father, I-"

And then he died.
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23 / F / Birmingham
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Posted 8/11/08

Hana-Lala-Chan wrote:

A very rich man had a son. He was very proud of his son. The son was smart and diligent and did well in school.

On the son's 16th birthday, the father went to his son and said "son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you for your 16th birthday."

The son, without hesitation, asked his father for 1,000 green golf balls.

The father was taken aback. "But son, that's such a strange request! Might I remind you that I'm VERY rich, and I could buy you ANYTHING your heart desires?!"

But the son was adamant, and his father, though confused, honored his son's request.

Some years later the son graduated from college at the top of his class. His father, once again beaming with pride, came to his son.

"Son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you for your college graduation."

The son, without hesitation, asked his father for 2,000 green golf balls.

The father once again was confused, and a bit angry.

"Son, that's a ridiculous request! I'm offering to buy you ANYTHING you want! I'm a very rich man, and almost NOTHING is beyond my requisition! So please, reconsider, and tell me what you REALLY want!"

But the son was adamant, and his father, though bewildered and frustrated, honored his son's request.

Years later, the son, following in his father's footsteps, was a very successful businessman. He'd married a beautiful wife and borne his father many wonderful grandchildren.

One night as they ate dinner in an expensive restaurant, his father said to his son, "son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you in honor of your fantastic success and wonderful family."

Once again without blinking his son asked for 3,000 green golf balls.

Enraged, his father slammed his hands on the table and yelled, "WHY MUST YOU MOCK MY GENEROSITY SO?! FINE; YOU'LL HAVE YOUR STUPID GOLF BALLS, BUT YOU HAVE LOST YOURSELF A FATHER!"

And so the trade was made; the son's strange request for the animosity of his once-doting father.

Several years later, the father and the son not having spoken once since, the father got a call from a hospital informing him that his son had gotten into a terrible car accident and was dying. Forgetting all about his grudge against his son, the father flew down to his son's side in a flash. His son was conscious for the first time in days as his father arrived.

"Son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I'm so sorry for disowning you! I know I never should have! I'm so sorry for the years we've lost! But I must know, son, why did you want all those green golfballs; those wretched orbs that drove us apart?! Surely you had a grand design for them; you're the perfect son and I could not have asked for anything more in the world than you!"

His son, on death's door, looked into his father's eyes and said weakly, "well, father, I-"

And then he died.


I found this hilarious. seriously.

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27 / M / Bangalore,India
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Posted 8/23/08
Knock Knock
Who's there?
John
John Who?
John Woolet
Oh, come in.


What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?"

Three jews walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks, pay their tab and couldn't possibly have been any more polite.

Why did the man abduct, bind and then rape the child?

He was a pedophile.

A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Cuz he was dead.

what do you call a nigger flying a plane??
A pilot

What happened to the boy who's mom came home early?
nothing he was doing his homework.

Who did Obama pick for his running mate?
Joe Biden.

3 guys walk into a bar.
their religious affiliation is not immediately apparent.

Q. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

A. The fact that millions of jews were rounded up, shipped off to camps and put to death in nazi Germany between the years 1939 and 1945.
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22 / F / Texas
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Posted 8/24/08

Hana-Lala-Chan wrote:





aww darn it.
i wanted to know why he wanted those golf balls.
Posted 8/24/08

KuRRopT wrote:

Q. How many feminits does it take to change a light bulb?

A. None, feminism can't change anything.



im sorry, my friend told me that one b4... can't think of nethin else



but you're supposed to not be funny
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30 / F / With the one I lo...
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Posted 8/24/08
an egg was frying in a a pan , the guy added another one then the second egg said :good it's hot in here:
the first egg said "ZOMG AN TALKING EGG"


-_-
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27 / F / Somewhere where I...
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Posted 8/25/08
some of the examples here failed to be called Anti-Jokes.. Coz they are actually very funny..
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22 / F / Under your bed ;P
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Posted 8/25/08
What do you call a wingless fly?
A walk

lol sorry if it was bad. I made it up
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22 / F / Under your bed ;P
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Posted 8/25/08
And some others

What did the blind, deaf, paraplegic boy get for Christmas?

Cancer
-
Why did the little girl fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.
-
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
The police. Your entire family was killed in a car wreck.
-
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: He didn't. He got hit by a bus.
-
Johnny comes back from school crying and says, "Mommy all the kids in the school say I have a big head."

His mother replies, "No you don't Johnny. You have a hideously deformed head. The other children are merely hiding the truth to protect your feelings."
-
What did the horse say when the guy started spanking his ass?

Nothing...Horses dont talk.
-
How do you kill a fox?

Beat it with a stick until its heart stops beating from all the trauma. Death will soon follow.
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23 / F / Asia
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Posted 8/25/08
"Do you wanna hear a joke?"
"Yeah, sure"
"Me too"

-----------------
"Hey, wanna see something funny?"
"Sure"
"Then look in the mirror"

-----------------
"How many flights of stairs can a man walk?"
"A man can't walk on flying stairs!"

-----------------
"So, a drunk man enterred a bar. . ."
"Impossible. How can one who is already drunk enter a bar when he already has his fill of alcohol. Unless, that person is stupid enough to drink at home and drive to a bar by himself. Insolent and Foolish, I say."
". . ."

----------------
"How do you kill killer whales?"
"Remove the 'er' "
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