Post Reply The Chains of a Great Story
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28 / M / California, US
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Posted 10/10/08
The gentle oval morning whittles,
and creeps into the silhouette of the breeze,
As the breeze was warm and unrequited,
with a item that stands in the middle of the moment,
waiting for the gesture of understanding to pass by,
while walking on the rugged surface of the floor,
to and reach the item of the moment,
time slips and walls smear off,
leaving a sign of solitude,
yet a melodramatic music plays,
creating a play within a play,
As a shadowy figure walks your way,
and holds your hand,
yet a chain cripples your soul,
entrap in the moment.

Another shadow that is rather eloquent,
dazzles and stands beside you,
and lifts you up on the other hand,
breaking the chain of time,
guiding you into the puddle of unknown,
where the willow wisp,
and the wasp sleeps.

As you go deeper into the dark,
you begin to see a light,
while feeling the shadows dancing into delight,
When you closed your eyes,
you see the warmth of a great essence,
that grows into a whole,
while asking "hows love?",
"wheres love?",
"what's love?",
Then you open your eyes,
and find the item right in front of you,
As you proceed to open it,
you stop and throw the item into the abyss,
Simply put you did not need it all,
Only the two shadowy figures,
one standing and the other dazzling,
called "Hope" and "Harmony".

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Comments and criticism much appreciated. If your going to give out whats wrong, can you get into more detail. want to know where I need to tweak my writing.
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Posted 10/10/08
wow........that was.....that was amazing... I could see everything you were talking about...it was striking and beautiful yet gloomy... I loved it..
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Posted 10/10/08

elanra_moonlight wrote:

wow........that was.....that was amazing... I could see everything you were talking about...it was striking and beautiful yet gloomy... I loved it..


Thank you for the comment, much appreciated.

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Posted 10/18/08

psyopslayerx wrote:


elanra_moonlight wrote:

wow........that was.....that was amazing... I could see everything you were talking about...it was striking and beautiful yet gloomy... I loved it..


Thank you for the comment, much appreciated.




your welcome, it was beautiful, it actually made the hair on my neck rose...it was touching
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