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Post Reply The Tragic Affair of Just Jay and Angela
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Continued...

I broke out of my thoughts and realized that it had been only ten minutes since Simon left the classroom. I let out a stream of ugly words and leaned forward, burying my face into my arms on the desk.
After the long and shocked silence, Simon had stood up, stared at me with a stony expression on his face, and silently left. I didn't know if I should have told him - but that would have blown off against on my own words, thus making me hypocritical, so I tried to tell myself that it was the right decision, even though my mind was burning with the mental image of Simon's shocked and disgusted (although that might have been my imagination) face. I cared about Simon and I valued our friendship, so I didn't want this to come between our relationship. We were best friends since middle school, and he had always been like my big brother, protecting me against all the bullies and the general 'nasties' at school. He had always been the one to encourage me to keep going when I admitted defeat, to beat up the kids who beat me up, to humiliate himself on purpose if I got humiliated, to stand up for me when teachers picked on me, to buy me that pair of roller skates in the store that I stared at for a long time when I was hanging out with him - even if it cost him all his pocket money, and I would naturally try to do the same back, even though I was smaller and younger than he was, not to mention weaker. The point is, he and I were brothers. We were more than brothers.
This is what bothered me the most. Not because Simon couldn't accept me for who I was - a bisexual. No. It was because of the fact that he couldn't accept me. We were extremely close, so something as trivial as this shouldn't have gotten between us - not even for a split second. A normal 'Simon' thing to do was to laugh off his surprise and say something like, "I knew it!" But instead a giant icy rift shattered through the air between us as soon as I said the goddamn word.
My cell started ringing ("Rondo") and I lifted up my head for a second, bringing my hand up so I could see the screen. Blinking blearily, I read the fuzzy words that flashed on the tiny white screen.
09-908-976.
I frowned. I didn't know anyone who had that number, but I answered the persistent caller anyway.
"Hello?"
Hey, it's me.
"Who?"
You still owe me ice-cream, Just Jay.
My heart skipped a beat and I straightened up in my chair, swallowing the hard lump that suddenly formed in my throat.
"A-Angela. Hi." I frowned. "How did you get this number?"
I heard soft laughter and I flinched when it tickled my ear.
Funny story really.
"Care to share it?"
Actually, yes I will. This story will blow your fucking mind.
"I'm listening," I smiled and leaned back in my seat, gazing out of the window at the stretch of rich blue sky.
Well, I was at my friend's house late last night and we were talking and hanging out in general, when she had to go and get the phone - it was her parents I think. Anyway, I decided to go for a little snoop, because her house is fucking enormous and I had never been upstairs before. So up I went and I heard someone snore so I decided to go investigate because I didn't know anyone was home except for me and my friend, you see.
"Oh yeah," I murmured, wondering where this was going.
Yeah and so I notice this door and it's like half open. I think it might have been pushed open by the wind because the windows were all open. Anyway, I poke my neck around the door and I see this huge ass room with all these posters everywhere, right, of everything from rock bands to advertisements for concerts-
Wait. I had posters of rock bands and advertisements.
-and then I notice this bed that has someone sleeping in it and since I felt like being the creepy little person I am, I went over to the bed and pulled back the cover. Guess who I saw sleeping like a baby and drooling?

Oh.My.Fucking.God.
You!
I knew it. My mouth dropped open and I let out a strangled sound.
"You didn't!"
I did.
Her laughter tickled my ear again and I buried my face in my arms again, cursing my sister for leaving Angela by herself with her curiosity and 'creepiness'. I couldn't believe that Fate could do this me. Leading Angela right to my room! It was Fate. It had to be. But I wished that Fate could have put me under a more favorable light so that Angela wouldn't have the everlasting impression of me being a drooler.
Anyway, Dhi gave me your number.
"Yeah," I replied, my face burning from the shame.
It has to be Fate, right?
I started and sat up straight, staring at the phone in surprise.
"Yeah...that's exactly what I was thinking."
Then Fate must be telling us to do something extremely important.
"Like what?" I asked, feeling my face burn hotter.
Not like that you perv. I meant, Fate must be telling us to go to the park again this afternoon to eat ice-cream.
"Oh...yeah, I was just thinking that," I said, hastily.
Yeah right, she laughed, now give me a text when you get to the park, okay?
"Sure thing." My heart leapt at meeting Angela again. I missed her already.
Oki doki then. Talk to you later, Just Jay!
"You too."
Don't go around drooling now, she said and hung up.
I stared at the phone for a while, my chest on fire and a small smile tugging at my lips. Finally, I broke out of my trance long enough to put the phone into my jacket pocket and propped my head onto my arms, staring out of the window at that endless stretch of rich blue, just as the shrill bell sounded - marking the end of lunch.


To be Continued...

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Posted 11/19/08 , edited 11/19/08

elanra_moonlight wrote:

I saw what you wrote and it kinda kept going... I can see Just Jay and Angela when I close my eyes... (well I have an extremely wild and vivid imagination)

and also, dont revise and edit...I really dont think it can be any better than this... I mean it man, I read thousand of books and......the way you write............*just nods and sighs*......excellent...

if I could be 10 % as good as you are I wouldnt have to worry about anything...anything at all!!


Aw, thank you!

There's more to it - I accidentally pressed the "Post" button when I wanted to preview.

I'm curious...how do Jay and Angela look to you?

Anyway, sorry about the short postings...It's all meant to be more like one big chapter...but I guess as long as it flows it doesn't matter? (Does it flow?! )

Tell me what you think, and also what you want to see in the future! ^--^


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Posted 11/19/08
you are going soo great I am almost afraid about making comments about it, its soo amazing...

i see them just like u described them ...and i also loved your description about Simon as well...u know what kills me with your writing?

Actually, yes I will. This story will blow your fucking mind.
"I'm listening," I smiled and leaned back in my seat, gazing out of the window at the stretch of rich blue sky.


that!! those kinda little scenes u write!! they turn the entire story into a movie!! yet much more beautiful than movies cus u probably know how they mess up book based movies usually...

i gotta go and sleep now but I'll come back to bore you to death with my amazement and already well settled commitment to the ur story... and please! please dont even doubt if it flows...it flows like a river in summer time with calm yet warm weather...
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Posted 11/19/08

elanra_moonlight wrote:

you are going soo great I am almost afraid about making comments about it, its soo amazing...

i see them just like u described them ...and i also loved your description about Simon as well...u know what kills me with your writing?

Actually, yes I will. This story will blow your fucking mind.
"I'm listening," I smiled and leaned back in my seat, gazing out of the window at the stretch of rich blue sky.


that!! those kinda little scenes u write!! they turn the entire story into a movie!! yet much more beautiful than movies cus u probably know how they mess up book based movies usually...

i gotta go and sleep now but I'll come back to bore you to death with my amazement and already well settled commitment to the ur story... and please! please dont even doubt if it flows...it flows like a river in summer time with calm yet warm weather...


Thanks~! :D
But you can't say much you know - your story, Blue Light is amazingly good. ;OO
Is English your first language or not? You've got the whole story visualized so well. It's thoughtful and well planned, and the character study of Melody and her school mates are great - it's pure and really refreshingly honest. ^^
I see that you got the idea from a game you played with your sister? That made me smile because me and my little sister used to play RP games like that too (with her Barbie dolls and an array of random furry dolls).
You really do build up great stories from doing that. When you are lost in the RP-ing, you can really use your imagination well and it gets the creativeness going too. I think also, the fact that my sister is young and she has that innocence and honest creativity, it drives my mind into "story" mode.

Anyway, hope you have a good night. I will post up another installment tomorrow. ^_^
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Posted 11/20/08
english is my secondary language... I know I am a little lacking like I said the original of the blue light is turkish and I am translating from the original...

we played those games with my sister for years, it was always so fun and we both always felt like we were free to be whoever we are (though I always had to play the guy ) and even though we stopped doing it a long time ago, one of the games we always played stayed with me... Blue Light was our favourite (although it was a little different before, much less romance ) I felt this irresistable urge to write it and when I started, it didnt stop... I am still writing it.

I agree with you on that "RP games increase your creativity and unleashes your imagination" believe me no one can understand you better... most of the time my room had vanished before my eyes and I was in that school with Melody


I'm looking forward to your next post on the story... take care!!
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Posted 11/21/08
wow!! english is ur 2nd lang and u writes exetremely well!!!! better than alot of writers i know!! :O
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Posted 11/21/08
lolz stop praising each other awesome authors u 2 r both good!! X3 nd if both of ur books were 2 come out at da same time, i wouldnt no whose i should go 2 1st!! XP wells anyways, great plot nd details!!! also, funny part about her seeing him drool!! XD an interesting story too!! dis iz da 1st story i ever read dat talked about bisexualness XDD cant wait till wat will happen!!^-^
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lilpurplepanda wrote:

lolz stop praising each other awesome authors u 2 r both good!! X3 nd if both of ur books were 2 come out at da same time, i wouldnt no whose i should go 2 1st!! XP wells anyways, great plot nd details!!! also, funny part about her seeing him drool!! XD an interesting story too!! dis iz da 1st story i ever read dat talked about bisexualness XDD cant wait till wat will happen!!^-^


lmao really?? wow...well then, i think this bisexual is going to need to step up his game then.

And here is the next installment...+_+
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Continued...





Johnny Giovanni was unlike any other boy I had known.
He was quirky and laid back, loud enough to be heard but also quiet enough to remain thoughtful and sincere. He had a great sense of humor, and it was that rare type where you didn't know whether he was serious or not, but it was extremely funny all the same. He delivered his jokes with such deadpan expressions, that he would've made a great actor. He was a crackup that Johnny.
As well as being a funny guy, Johnny was the type of person you'd go to for help. Johnny could help you in many, many ways - even if you didn't ask for it. He had this sixth sense or something for it. Like, he would know - right away - if someone was in need of help, and he would deliver it to them in some form or another.
I remember there was this little guy who was two years younger than us - he was fifteen but he had the physique of a twelve-year-old - you know, scrawny and short; looked small enough to break if you bumped into him.
Anyway, me and Johnny were in the locker room one day after lunch - horsing around and basically having a laugh, when the little guy walked in, sniffing angrily and sporting a huge purple eye. I felt pity for the guy - but I stood my ground, feeling awkward and unsure of myself. What should I do? Hug him and tell him it's all going to be okay? Because it wasn't. And it never will be.
Anyway, it was Johnny who stepped forward. I looked at his face and was surprised to see him pale with anger and pity. His eyes were glinting with hot rage and he went up to the little guy with a grimace. The little guy noticed how angry Johnny looked and stepped back, afraid.
"Hey," Johnny said, wiping off the grimace and giving the little guy a warm smile.
The little guy looked at his feet. "What?"
"You okay?"
"Yeah, why shouldn't I be?" The little guy replied with an angry murmur.
"Oh, I don't know," Johnny said and he leaned against the locker, flicking his gorgeous black hair out of his eyes which twinkled now of friendliness and warmth. Only I noticed that menacing glare that hid deep inside those silver pools - the little guy will get his justice. And soon.
"You're leaning on my locker," the little guy said lamely.
"What's your name, buddy?" Johnny flashed his beautiful smile and I felt my knees wobble. I gave myself a pinch and leant against the lockers.
"Richard," the little guy answered.
Johnny leaned forward and studied Richard's purple eye with a frown. I smirked when Richard flushed and stepped back.
"Jay Jay," Johnny called, "I think someone's been messing with little Richard."
"I think so too Johnny," I called back, nodding.
He straightened up and pushed a hand through his hair. "Who did this to you?"
Richard shrugged and lamely attempted to pull his locker door open. Johnny stepped back and let him get to his school books.
"I know who," I confessed.
Johnny turned to me, raising his fine eyebrows. "You do?"
I coughed and nodded.
We both jumped when we heard a locker door slam shut. Richard locked his locker and turned to us, face red.
"Look, I appreciate your concern and all, but I'd rather not get you involved in this. It's got nothing to do with you and if you intervene it's just going to make it worse for me. These guys won't give up. No-one can talk to them and no-one can do anything at all to help. I'm nearly done with this school anyway since I'm moving at the end of the year, so even if you did try to help - your help won't go very far." He stared at us for a second before shuffling out of the locker room, muttering under his breath.
Johnny looked at me with a menacing grin.
Suddenly, I knew Richard would get his justice.
Two days later Richard's bullies were expelled.
To this day, no-one knows how they got expelled, including me. All I know is that it was Johnny's doing and whatever he did worked because after the bullies were expelled, little Richard could be seen walking the school halls, grinning and bruise-free.

Angela never turned up.
I waited at the park until the moon was fully risen in the night sky and the workers who went into the bar across the street at sundown, staggered out singing off-key and leaning on each other's shoulders, waving bottles around. I sat there on the park bench for three hours, sending her text messages and feeling my heart twinge when I realized I was being stood up. Finally, when the first drops of rain fell, I accepted my fate and stood up, stretching and zipping up my parker. I glanced around at the shadow ridden park one more time before setting out for home. I wasn't particularly angry. If anything, I was just disappointed and ridden with worry. What if she was kidnapped or hurt by a mugger on her way to meet me? What if she in a car accident? What if...I stopped myself before terror gripped me. She was fine. And anyway, if anything had happened to her I would have known. My number was in her cellphone after all.
The night air was cold and thin. The drops of rain had evolved into splashes which in turn evolved into an icy torrent. I shuddered as the rain seeped through my parker and dampened my uniform. My hair was soaking wet and was hanging off me in inky black strands. I quickened my pace as the rain grew heavier and people in the streets also followed my lead, running and trying to find some sort of shelter.
By the time I arrived home, I was drenched right down to my socks. It was Dhi who opened the door and her face split into a grin when she saw me. I grumbled and she closed the door behind me, laughing at my predicament.
"She never turned up?" She guessed, handing me a towel with a sympathetic smile.
I nodded glumly and coughed.

The next day I was gripped by the flu.
Dhi just tutted and told me it was my fault for not taking an umbrella when she told me to. I just grumbled and rolled over in my bed. The morning was spent throwing up until there was nothing left to throw up apart from stomach acid, having delusions of Angela nibbling on my neck (which wasn't all that bad, if I say so myself), twisting and turning in bed until I ended up nearly strangling to death on my sweaty bed sheets, and having bouts of nausea which made it feel like I was stuck in a ship that was being battered by an everlasting storm.
It was after I had thrown up the little water that Dhi had given me long before(she was taking the day off school to look after me) when my cellphone rang.
"Dhi?" I called out weakly. No answer. Then I remembered she had gone out to get some groceries and medicine.
Cursing, I slowly got up from bed and shakily went downstairs to where I left my cellphone. I leant heavily on the banister and by the time I reached the end of the stairs I was gasping for air like a dying fish. I quickly made my way to the lounge and grabbed my cell phone from the coffee table. I fell onto the couch and wiped my damp face.
"Hello?" I croaked into the phone.
Jay? Oh my god, Jay! It was Angela.
I suddenly felt a knife twist in my heart and I didn't bother answering her.
Jay, I am so sorry! Did you wait for a long time? You should've just gone home... She trailed off when she realized I wasn't answering her. Jay, I really am sorry. You don't have to talk to me. I understand why you're angry. I'm so stupid.
A long silence stretched through the air and I decided not to leave her hanging.
"Why didn't you come?" I asked her, hoarsely.
Some dude stole my fucking handbag - which had my cell and my wallet in it - and I had to go to the police station to fill out all these goddamn forms and they wouldn't let me go until I was done, because apparently the guy who stole my bag was the same guy who was doing all those bank robberies up north and...I'm so sorry Jay. By the time I was able to go, I ran all the way to park and you weren't there. I feel so bad..."
But I was glad. I was extremely glad. I knew she had a good reason to why she wasn't able to make it. I was glad that she wasn't seeing some other guy or that she hadn't forgotten about me. I was extremely glad.
"Are you alright?" I asked her, my tone warmer this time.
Yeah, I'm just a little shaken. But that son of a bitch didn't get my purse without a good bruise on his gofers, I can promise you that, she said, sounding relieved that I wasn't angry at her.
I laughed but not without being attacked by a coughing fit which made me tear up.
Jay, you're sick! Please don't tell me it was because you were waiting for me last night.
I shook my head until I realized that she couldn't see me. "No, it wasn't because of that," I lied. "Some guy in my class came to school with a cold and he fucking sneezed on me."
That's not cool, Angela said, sounding disgusted. That's not cool at all.
I smiled and, despite my body gripped by an icy coldness, by heart remained fiery warm.
And it was then when I felt something hit my back - right between my shoulder blades. Hard. And Painfully.
Oh shit.










To be continued...
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Posted 11/22/08 , edited 11/22/08

xxuseless-bulletsxx wrote:


lilpurplepanda wrote:

lolz stop praising each other awesome authors u 2 r both good!! X3 nd if both of ur books were 2 come out at da same time, i wouldnt no whose i should go 2 1st!! XP wells anyways, great plot nd details!!! also, funny part about her seeing him drool!! XD an interesting story too!! dis iz da 1st story i ever read dat talked about bisexualness XDD cant wait till wat will happen!!^-^


lmao really?? wow...well then, i think this bisexual is going to need to step up his game then.

And here is the next installment...+_+



lolz yeps! XD yays! next chapter!! X3

wows...i wonder wats dat pain... poor jay!! TT^TT
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Posted 11/22/08
ah he's getting his attack again....
:)) great chapter that was so awesome.....

i agree with elenra moonlight your story flows like a river... and you have awesome descriptions... and i'm the same with lilpurpleanda it's my first time reading a story about a bisexual person...

and i also agree with her stop praising each other you both are so good... i also read her stories..... and both of you have different writing styles but both are great... really awesome..!!!!!!!!!

:))
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Posted 11/23/08
nmm nmm nmmmm!!!


this is sooo amazing yet also painful!! waiting and reading tiny pieces from it when all I want is to take the entire story out of your head and just read it to the end at once!! I am sooo curious and excited about your story... AGAIN u had used amazing descriptions, AGAIN you had made it seem like its soo easy, AGAIN you impressed me with your words and AGAIN.............YOU ARE GREAT!!

please post another part soon!!


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Wish granted sweetheart. ^--^
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Continued...







I was dreaming.
Dreaming? No...more like having a flashback. A flashback of Johnny Giovanni. My dearest, gorgeous Johnny.
I remember the first time I told someone that I loved them. That I truly, honestly loved them.
It was such a long time ago...But now...Now I could see it as clear as daylight.

"So Jay Jay," Johnny swung his locker door shut and he turned to me, "are you going to Mike's party?"
I slowly shut my locker and clicked it shut. I leant on it, resting my forehead on the cool metal and turned my head a little to look at him.
"I...I don't know," I replied, softly.
Johnny frowned and he leaned forwards until his nose nearly touched mine. I leaned back a little, blushing like a madman.
"What's up, Jay Jay? You've been quiet all day," he said, raising his cool hand to touch my burning forehead.
I pushed myself off my locker and pushed his hand away, grimacing.
"Jay? What's wrong?" Johnny straightened up and stared at me with huge silver eyes, concerned and taken aback at my coldness.
I turned my head away and mumbled: "What did you do with him?"
Johnny fell silent behind me and I tightened my fists as rage fired up inside me.
"Who are you talking about, Jay Jay?"
I spun on my heels with fire in my eyes and turned to him.
"You know what I'm talking about!' I bellowed. The hallway - which was bustling with students - suddenly fell silent. "Don't try to deny it, Johnny," I continued angrily, "I know what you did with Harry at Shawna's double date yesterday! It was the reason why Shawna and Harry split up! Does Sarah know? Does she know what you've been doing, Johnny? Does she know that you've been fuck-"
Before I could say anything else, Johnny grabbed me and slammed me into the lockers, breathing hard; anger and fear shooting through in his eyes. I glared up at him, tears streaming down my face, and I felt myself tremble under his agonizingly tight grip. I glared at him like that for a while, breathing hard and weeping - why I was weeping, even I don't know - until Johnny lowered his head and loosened his grip on my shoulders. I slid down to the ground and buried my face in my knees, trying to block out the sudden burst of murmurs and catcalls from the spectators. I dimly heard Johnny yell at them to "Piss off", before kneeling down before me.
I hugged my knees tighter to my body and I flinched away when I felt his hand on my arm.
"Jay Jay," he said in a hoarse whisper.
I stayed silent and made him suffer.
"Jay, please..." Both of his hands were on my shoulders and I couldn't help but raise my head.
I saw his glistening eyes and all I could see was regret and pain.
"Did he force you?" I asked quietly.
Johnny nodded and he bit his lip, looking down. "He said...he said he wanted to talk. So I followed him. He took me to the men's room and..." He shuddered and I laid a reassuring hand on his arm. "He made me do so many things...all at once...I can't remember what happened...but the next thing I know, Shawna was in the doorway, screaming and screaming and she ran off, and Harry was running after her, and all I could do was try to stand up..." He took a deep breath. "Sarah had run after Shawna, but Shawna never told her what happened. She just told her that Harry was kissing another girl in the bathroom and that I was in a cubicle, unaware that a girl had walked in to start making out with him. I'm grateful in that sense, but whenever I see Shawna...she looks disgusted." He lowered his head and took several deep breaths. Then he stood up and held out a hand for me.
I looked up at him, my heart aching for him, and my throat stinging from trying to control that ache. I wiped my face and grabbed his hand, pulling myself up to my feet.
"You'll be glad to know that the whole time that was happening," he flushed and smiled softly, "I was thinking of you."

I was a dead man.
I had only ten minutes to find suitable clothing for Mike's party before Johnny came to pick me up in his dad's car. I straightened my hair with my mum's stolen hair straightener, and it took longer than expected. After some frantic wardrobe burrowing, I decided to go plain: Black skinnies, band shirt, belt and chains, and of course the must-have, my dad's necklace - a small silver cross that hung delicately on a fine black string. I fingered it now gently and smiled sadly. My dad died a year ago in a car accident and the car blew up in flames. The only thing that survived the accident was this silver necklace. I wanted to bury dad in it, but mum persuaded me to keep it - and I'm glad I did. It's the only thing I have that reminds me the most of him.
I heard honking outside the house and I jumped.
"Jay! Johnny's here!" Mum called. She knew Johnny quite well now - especially since I brought Johnny home from school nearly everyday to have dinner with us and play video games all night instead of doing homework. I did this partly in favor to him - his dad was an alcoholic who got abusive every night and his mum had run off with his younger sister, Marigold. Johnny's life was cold and dark, despite his beautiful face and his warm, caring nature. It was the least I could do for Johnny. Johnny, whom I loved so much without even realizing it.
"Coming!" I jumped down the stairs and grabbed my mum. She whooped and laughed as I kissed her on the cheek and hugged her tightly.
"I love you, mum," I grinned and I let her go.
She laughed and grabbed her purse. "How much?"
"Ten, please," I held out my hand and gave her another kiss as she handed me the money.
"Alright, alright. This old lady has some cleaning to do. Go have a nice time, dear, and take care of Johnny." She gave me a sad smile and I nodded. Mum knew all about Johnny and she loved him like another son.
I bounded out of the house and I waved at Johnny who was grinning like a maniac at the wheel.
"Yo," he greeted me as I got in the front passenger's seat and slammed the door shut.
"Hey," I smiled and fastened my belt.
I looked him over approvingly. He was wearing skinnies as well - but they were deep blue - a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a loosened black and white tie. He looked amazing in such simple attire. How does he do it?
"You..." I trailed off and blushed as I felt his eyes flicker over me. "You look great," I managed.
He grinned and put the car into gear. "You look uber cute, Jay Jay."
I growled and threw him mock punch which soon ensued into a battle in the car as we made our way to the most memorable night of our lives.

The party was in full swing when I saw Johnny with him.
I just stood there, my drink spilling to the ground, and my breath catching in my throat painfully.
Johnny was all over Harry, kissing him on his neck and face and Harry, in turn, was kissing him back and feeling him up, his hands sliding over Johnny' thighs and up his shirt. It was enough to make someone sick.
I felt something snap inside of me. It was like an elastic band that was being pulled tightly had snapped and was backlashing me several times deep in the pits of my stomach, leaving raw bleeding wounds.
The drink fell out of my trembling hands and I stepped back, my head spinning. I bumped into someone and I fell backwards, knocking my head hard on the wooden floor. The room spun out of control and it took me a while to stand back up. I tore myself away from Johnny and Harry and pushed my way through the crowd, feeling my stomach churn and the taste of bile thick in my burning throat.
How could he be doing this to me? How could he?
By the time I reached the door, I was already throwing up. I staggered into the front yard and I heaved into a rose bush, throwing up until there was nothing left in my stomach. I knelt there, shaking and dry retching for a good ten minutes until I was able to control myself. Trembling, I fell back onto the icy grass and I wiped my mouth. I couldn't feel anything except for numbing coldness and all I wanted to do was to go back home, curl up into a little ball, and die.
I felt angry, betrayed, humiliated, and above all, I felt heart broken.
Fuck you Johnny. Fuck you and Harry.
I heard the door slam open and the rustle of footsteps running towards me. I turned away from the footsteps and curled up into a ball.
I heard someone kneel next to me and a soft warm hand fell onto my shoulder.
"Piss off," I growled, shrugging off the hand.
"Please...I can explain..."
I sat up so quickly, Johnny fell back onto his back, his eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears.
"Damn right you can, you bastard!" I roared, tears spilling down my face. "When Harry hurts you that deeply...when I see you so fucking broken...when you lose your self confidence and self esteem...what do you fucking do? You go around fucking the same person who hurt you!" I stood up, swaying and trembling with unspeakable rage.
Johnny scrambled up and grabbed me. "Jay, please, just hear me out!"
"Why the hell would I do that?" I yelled into his face, flushed and angry. "Why the fuck would I want to do that? Huh? Whatever you say will probably be a fucking lie anyway! What are you going to do after this, huh, Johnny? Go fuck some random stranger again? Go fuck Harry? Go fuck your fucking dad?"
And that was when Johnny punched me.
I held my aching jaw and stared at him angrily. He just stood there, pale and shaking with rage.
"Do it again," I hissed, "do it again you whore."
He drew back his fist and slammed it into my stomach this time, his face contorted into an ugly crazed look of a wild animal, trapped and cornered.
The pain of the punch didn't hurt as much as the pain in my heart, but it felt like I was dying. The world turned black for one scary moment, and I couldn't draw a breath no matter how hard I tried - I was drowning.
Just when I thought I was going to faint, I felt Johnny's hands hold me steady and I managed to draw a wheezy breath. I felt my knees go weak and I fell to the ground, kneeling and gasping.
After a while I looked up at Johnny who was silently crying and he gave me a watery smile.
"Stupid fuck," he said thickly. "You made me do it."
I nodded and smiled weakly, "I deserved it."
He lowered his hands off my shoulders and wiped his face. I followed his suit and we sat in silence for a while, avoiding each other's eyes. The party was slowly spinning out of control inside the house and all you could hear was the steady drum beat of the hip hop shit they played in there and the screams and laughter of drunken teens.
"I felt dirty," Johnny said in a low voice, still avoiding my eyes. "I felt like I did something wrong and that i needed to be punished. I felt...I felt like I was nothing and that I wasn't real...that if I died, no-one would miss me at all." He looked up at me, his large eyes pleading for understanding. "Jay, the only reason why I was doing that shit with Harry tonight was to punish myself...and to-to make me feel like I was a real person."
I felt a flare of anger - not aimed at Johnny, but at Harry. I suddenly felt blind with rage and I wanted to kill that little shit. I had the urge to run in there and cut his throat with a broken bottle - but I pushed that urge down and I held Johnny's right hand in both of mine.
"Johnny, you're not dirty. You are the most purest, most beautiful person I have ever known. What happened at the date yesterday...it wasn't your fault. It was Harry's fault. You understand? It's not your fault."
Johnny laughed sourly and looked away. I raised a hand to his head and turned it softly so that his eyes were on mine.
"Johnny, you are the most amazing person I know. And if you were to die..." I swallowed a hard lump in my throat. "If you were to die Johnny Giovanni, I would miss you. I would miss you so much, I would die."
He looked at me, startled. "But, why?"
I smiled and said quietly: "Because I love you, Johnny Giovanni. I love you so goddamn much, it fucking hurts."









When I came to I was on my back on the floor. My head ached from where it hit the coffee table when I fell off the couch and my shoulders hurt like a bitch. I glanced at the clock on the table: 12:30pm. It had only been fifteen minutes since the attack, which means I had been out for fifteen whole minutes. I stood up gingerly, my shoulders burning and sending waves of agony down my back - it made me want to throw up. I raised a hand to my shoulders and felt something damp between the shoulder blades. I brought my hand away covered in blood. My heart flew into my mouth and I carefully maneuvered my way to the bathroom. I pulled off my shirt and flicked on the light switch. The bathroom lit up in a harsh white light and I turned to the cracked mirror above the sink.
I looked like shit. That was all I could say.
I turned around, heart thudding painfully in my chest. I took several deep breaths and turned my head to look into the mirror.
I threw up. I heaved and retched into the toilet and when I managed to control the bile, I returned to the mirror, shaking in horror and shock. I took another deep breath and turned my head to look again.
This time I managed not to throw up or faint - although I was damn about to.
Unbelievably, impossibly, there between my shoulder blades, were two thin bones sticking out from my bloody back, crimson from the flowing blood. It looked like two horns sticking out of my back like I was some sort of fucking dinosaur. I was glaring at them, trying to figure out what the fuck they were - when they fucking moved.





..........And that was when Dhi came home.










To be continued...
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Posted 11/23/08
I'm not sure about the first part - when Johnny tells Jay about the rape...Like, I didn't like how it didn't flow and how it seemed too fast...But I don't know how else to fix it up...so please forgive me. ~_~"

Anyway, this was a filler chapter to show you who Johnny actually was, and how much he had meant to Jay.

I hope you enjoyed! If not, please leave criticism so I can improve.



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