Post Reply Post your Funny Scrubs Quotes here!
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23 / M / England
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Posted 11/11/08
Just post your quotes from Any scrubs season and if its good enought it will get put on the description!
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24 / M / Anywhere I am rig...
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Posted 2/3/09
Here's the first of many I'll add...Not sure if they'll be there so bear with me?xD
[to an annoying patient]
Dr. Cox: Okay, think of what little patience I have as... oh, I don't know... your virginity. You always thought it would be there, until that night Junior Year when you were feeling a little down about yourself and your pal Kevin, who just wanted to be friends... well, he dropped by, and he brought a copy of "About Last Night" and a four-pack of Bartles & Jaymes and woo hoo hoo, it was gone forever - just like my patience is now.
Jill Tracy: So you do scary little speeches. How adorable!

J.D.: Go ahead, insult me like you always do.
Janitor: Too easy. When you least expect it...

[to JD]
Janitor: You seem unhappy. I like that.

Janitor: Some hooligan keeps disconnecting the alarm. I told Security to look into it. But no, no, they'd rather catch the guy who's stealing organs from the transplant ward.

J.D.: This, this isn't like being a janitor, okay! It's not just like something everybody can do.
Janitor: Oh. So you can do my stuff, but I can't do yours?
J.D.: Yes!
Janitor: Okay, hotshot, what would you use to get a coffee stain up off a tile floor?
J.D.: I don't know... the... rough side of a sponge?
[silence]
Janitor: Dammit.

Elliot: My life is a mess!
J.D.: At least you're pretty.
Elliot: Yeah, well, pretty don't pay the rent!
Carla: It does for my sister.
Elliot: Oh, my God, your sister's a prostitute?
Carla: She's a model. Come on, Elliot, we talked about thinking before we speak.

Dr. Cox: Carla you devil I can't help but notice you love telling jokes. What was it you were saying about your coffee?
Carla: I said 'It's so good it's like crack'.
[nurses stare]
Dr. Cox: Normally you would hear crickets but they were uncomfortable about just how unfunny that was.
Carla: So what I'm not funny?
Dr. Cox: I think your very funny when your up on your high horse, you know when you stay right in your wheelhouse. Everyone is funny for something. Barbie is an emotional trainwreck, your husband sells with a cocky attitude...
Turk: Well you know I do what I do when I do what I do
Dr. Cox: Alice here sells it with a lost stare, and now that I've said Alice your picturing me as the maid from the Brady Bunch.
[flash to Cox as the maid]
Dr. Cox: Am I right?
[cut back]
Dr. Cox: Then there are people with funny names... Dr. Beardface, Dr. Mickhead, Col. Doctor, Snoop Dogg Intern...
Snoop Dogg Intern: Yo!
Dr. Cox: Sorry Snoop Dogg Resident. Laverne believes in God which is hilarious to me and Ted is the hospital sad sack.
Ted: I am?
Dr. Cox: Yes
Ted: Awwwww!
Dr. Cox: And me well, I'm funny cause I commit. C-O-M-M-I-T-T-T-T-T-T-T... T
[points pinky and makes sipping motion]
Dr. Cox: . To tell you the truth there is only one person here who is funny no matter what he says.
Dr. Kelso: Are my new boxers made of wool? Cause my weasel's gettin heat stroke.
Dr. Cox: The point is *PLEASE* don't tell anymore jokes.
Ted: I'm not really a sad sack?
Carla: Ted your pen exploded.
Ted: [looks at shirt] Awww!
[realizes ink got on his hand and now is wiped on his head]
Ted: AWWWW MAN!


That's all I'll put in now....I'll find more later.
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