First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  Next  Last
[FanFic] And you were here..
Member
19698 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 11/28/08 , edited 12/9/08
caused by boredom and too much studying, i decided to make my 1st fanfic~

spare me and tell me what u think bout this fanfic

happy reading~


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


Have you ever experienced falling into a dungeon and trapped there with the most annoying person you ever met? Well not exactly a dungeon. A tunnel, yeah a tunnel is a better way for saying it.


Or have you ever met an unknown girl with faded feet before and she, unexpectedly, kept on bugging you in a way?


Well, here's my experience. It all started when...


CHAPTER 1 - The Homework Date



"...and so Hinamori-san, will you accompany me to finish up our History homework?"


Tadase's voice echoed through my ear. History homework? Together? This is a dream come true!!


" O-of course Tadase-kun! Where do you want us to meet?" I replied excitedly. No way no way no way!! My first time to go out with Tadase alone after this whole entire seventh grade year!! I had been dreaming about this kind of thing to happen once in a while to spicin' up my junior school year. And the moment did come finally!! First, we will go to the cafe and we will be sitting up, facing each other while having a parfait with two spoons. Or we could go to the park nearby and both of us will play the swing together. Or even...


" Hinamori-san? Did you hear me?" Tadase-kun's voice from the other side of the phone woke me up from my own imagination. I pinch my own cheek hardly, punishing myself for making Tadase waiting.


" O-oh it-it's okay Tadase-kun. I-I mean what did you said just now?" I replied nervously. Focus, Amu. Focus!!


I heard some vibrating sound of giggling of Tadase's on the corner of the phone. Shame on you Amu! You
made yourself a joke infront of your charming prince! This is so embarassing...


" Hmphh you're always funny Hinamori-san" Tadase's soft voice made me all blushing. I feel like digging a hole and put myself in it and never goes out from that hole. EVER again. " I was saying that maybe we could meet up in the park near the new constructed mansion."


Wait, did he says park? Awesome!! I could use the playing the swing together scenario for this!!


" So.. is it okay for you? I mean.. Maybe it's too childish for us to go there so..."


" NO! nonononono! It's okay. Definitely okay!" I answered before Tadase changed his mind. This rare opportunity shall not be dismissed! I, Hinamori Amu, will bet my life for this kind of rare situation to happen again! " So what time do we meet then Tadase-kun?" I looked up at the pink clock in my house. Now is already 4.32 pm. If i can organize the time well i will be able to take a bath and change my clothes and...


" How about now? I'm at the park already," Tadase's sweet voice ruined all my plan to enchant him with my new outfit.


" N-n-now?" I asked unwillingly. This is not good. This is not good. I can't look like this later on infront of Tadase. I took a glance at my appearance on the mirror beside me. There stand a girl with her super messy untie pink hair, with the loose red bear pictured T-shirt she's wearing and an over-sized short pants almost drop down to the wooden floor. She also stinks since she haven't take a bath since morning. And she... she... She's just awful!! I mean, I'm awful!! I couldn't meet Tadase with this kind of look!


" Hinamori?"


" T-Tadase-kun will you wait for me for another fifteen... NO! I mean ten. Ten more minutes before i go to your place?" I over him a time extention while picking clothes to wear later on.


" Uh, sure. Why not?" I could see Tadase's smiling behind his phone. Tadase, your kindness is the best of all the best. I could melt by just imagining his mesmerizing smile on the edge of the speaker.


" Thank you so much Tadase-kun! I'm sorry to make you have to wait," I thanked him while testing the cold and hot water to be just right in the middle for my shower.


" Ehehe. No worries. If it's for Hinamori I'll wait even though it will be another more hours."


I was flattered when I heard him saying that. If it's for Hinamori he said. No! There's no more time for blushing and smiling ear to ear Amu! Get a grip of yourself! Tadase is waiting right there in the park. Alone. Waiting for you. Alone.


I can't waste another Tadase's precious minute anymore. Don't be flattered now! " Thanks Tadase-kun. I'll be calling you soon". I pressed the red button of my cellphone and put it on top of my bathtub. I opened my clothes and in a split second, I finished my shower.


" That was fast," Miki commented while drawing some clothes for me.


" That's why Suu already told you to take your bath first desuu~" Suu handed me my towel as I was drying up my wet hair.


" 3 more minutes to go!! Go! Go! A.mu.chi!" Ran happily cheer on me while pointing one of her pom pom to the clock. The clock!! Oh god! Three more minutes??


" This can't be happening! I'll be late!! " I screamed while putting up my clothes, tying my hair, and running outside the house at the same time.


" Wait~ Amu-chan~ Your bag! desuu~" Suu and the others were chasing after me while bringing my bag with my homeworks along.


I can't let this precious moment gone caused by my mistake!! I just can't!! This will be the best day of my life



.................................isn't it?


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

done for chapter 1~ and oh plz 4give me w/ all my grammatical errors. I suxx at grammar :P


edit: i added some sentences and give some changes in the format >_<~


Member
19698 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 11/28/08
o ya ppel i will include ikuto in next chap and for they who oledi read this plz comment >_<~
Member
2541 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / In a house
Offline
Posted 11/28/08
pretty good
Member
19698 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 11/28/08
thx xD!! finally sum1 said something >_<~
Posted 11/28/08 , edited 11/28/08
Pretty good pretty good.. It would pay to make it a bit more longer though =P,
and don't leave people with too many cliffies Dx (oh noez xD)
Member
19698 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 11/28/08

StarlIight wrote:

Pretty good pretty good.. It would pay to make it a bit more longer though =P,
and don't leave people with too many cliffies Dx (oh noez xD)


eh so sorry then

okay next chap i'll try not 2 put cliffhangers
Member
68 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31
Offline
Posted 11/28/08
that was nice. i wanna read the next chapter
Posted 11/28/08

trumpace wrote:


StarlIight wrote:

Pretty good pretty good.. It would pay to make it a bit more longer though =P,
and don't leave people with too many cliffies Dx (oh noez xD)


eh so sorry then

okay next chap i'll try not 2 put cliffhangers



there wasn't any cliffies in ur 1st chap.. At least I think so
No need to be sorry ,
just remember when typing ur next few chapters... - Not too many cliffies..A few r fine but if
in every chapta theres a cliffie, we readers are gonna go crazy xD

Member
19698 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 11/28/08

StarlIight wrote:


trumpace wrote:


StarlIight wrote:

Pretty good pretty good.. It would pay to make it a bit more longer though =P,
and don't leave people with too many cliffies Dx (oh noez xD)


eh so sorry then

okay next chap i'll try not 2 put cliffhangers



there wasn't any cliffies in ur 1st chap.. At least I think so
No need to be sorry ,
just remember when typing ur next few chapters... - Not too many cliffies..A few r fine but if
in every chapta theres a cliffie, we readers are gonna go crazy xD



lol okay then imma put cliffies when i can update the chappies soon >_<~
Member
19698 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 11/28/08 , edited 12/9/08
okay chapter 2 is coming

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

" I can remember some things upon that evening most distinctly, and others are like some vague, broken dreams," Arthur Conan Doyle, How It Happened

CHAPTER 2 - The Start Of The Story

How many steps and breath had I took to run? How many time did I made Suu and Miki pants and stopped just to follow mine's and Ran's pace? Furthermore, how many meters left to Tadase's place?


"Hinamori-san, where are you going?"


Surprised by the voice I've been waiting for, I stopped my dashes in a sudden which almost made me fall to the muddy ground of the park.


"Hinamori-san, you sure are energized to do this homework," Tadase helped me gaining my balance back by holding to my left hand and right shoulder gently.


The touch of Tadase's soft and white hand summoned the colour of rosy pink to the surface of my cheeks. " I..I.. I don't really need your help you know!" I said while pissing Tadase's hands and gaining my own balance back.


"There goes Amu's cool n' spicy character," Ran sighted behind Suu's laughter


I realized I accidentally drawn out my outter character when I saw Tadase's shocked face. Gahh!! What am I doing?? You stupid Amu!! Hinamori Amu you deserve to die!!


Unexpectedly, Tadase smiled and gave me small giggling, beaming me with that warm, sunflower-like eyes. " You haven't changed Amu. I remembered you had been having that character since we're in primary."


I didn't expect such words to came out from Tadase's own mouth. Does that mean he had been observing me this past few years? Does that mean he has that feeling towards me? Well, he did confess to me a year before but...


" Hinamori-san? Your mind sure wanders around alot today," Tadase waved his feather-like left hand infront of my face.


"Huh? What?" I gasped. Sheesh Amu. You sure wander alot today.


"HInamori-san, how about we take that sit over there?" Tadase pointed out an empty wooden garden chair with golds and glittery decorations attached to it. Kiseki much?


"Uh, okay," I lowered my head, not able to control myself for the excitement of sitting on a same chair as Tadase's. I couldn't let Tadase see my tomato-like face. It'll be so much embarassing.


"Let's go then," Tadase grabs my hand which gave made me scream a little but I made sure he didn't hear it. But I'm sure that Miki heard it. I could see her whispering it to Kiseki about my stupidity.


----------------------

"Where should we go now nyaa~"


"Somewhere nice," the boy gave a short reply while jumping from roof to roof. His deep blue sea hair were blown softly by the summer's breeze, while his sapphire eyes shimmers as it was reflected by the light of the intense sun. His smooth gesture of a cat would have ease him to walk on the tallest building of Japan. The silver sweat slightly pouring over him made his long eyelashes half-wet. And such boy who would be living in this world was named...


"Ikuto! I saw something interesting nyaa~" Yoru happily jumped to Ikuto's wide shoulder, "take a look at that place nyaa~" Yoru pointed to the south


"A park?" Ikuto leaps over trees to take a better view when he saw two little couple with a head of blonde and soft pink sitting side by side confusedly.


The cat-boy smirked, " This is going to be fun," as he leaps to the nearest tree to both of them.


----------------------


"...And so we did had some bomb tragedy in Hiroshima on that time," Tadase explained while his hair touches my nose. It tickles alot that made me almost sneeze. No, it's taboo to sneeze to a prince's hair. Hold it Amu, hold it.


Time passes so fast for both me and Tadase. I don't dare to look at my watch, not wanting to face the truth this majestic day has to end. But the faded appearance of the moon in the night sky did reminds me that my time with Tadase isn't going to be any longer.


I have to admit it, I haven't been concentrating to my own assignment. I just can't let my eyes go from Tadase's beautiful eyes and his small, sweet face. I feel like treasuring those eyes, those clear yellow eyes.


"Hinamori-san could you tell me the answer to number 4? It was pretty hard," Tadase's question woke me up from my day-dreaming session.


"Huh? Oh right, number 4..."


Our hands accidentally touched. We were surprised and pulled back our hands behind our back. Oh god. I touched Tadase's hand! I touched his hand! Wait, this isn't the time to be happy. I have to apologize.


"Tadase-ku..." then I saw his face was all red as he lowered his face down. Huh? Did Tadase blushed? Over me?


There was silence between us for awhile when finally Tadase straightened his sitting position and open up his mouth with his face still all painted red.


"Hi-Hinamori-san. It sure has been awhile since we sit like this together," Tadase suddenly brought up the reunion talk with his shivering voice.


Realized that I had been a blank-minded girl for all this day, I decide to answer this one fast, "Uh.. yeah. I think the last time we talk one on one like this was when we were in the guardian?"


Tadase smiled weakly, as if he remembered those days and misses them so much, realizing we could never go back to those times anymore. His face looked so sad that it gave me the guilty feeling.


"I'm sorry," I mumbled


"Oh that's okay," Tadase quickly reply and forces himself a small smile," It's just that we all are not in the same class anymore, and the Guardians haven't been active for months so..."


"But deep down I think we're all still Guardians' members!" I cut down Tadase's sentence to stop his fake smile getting even wider anymore, "I think..." I added.


Then, Tadase's eyes were locked on mine as mine was locked on his.


"Hinamori-san, the reason why I asked you to go out with me is because,...."


"Yes?"


"Because..."


What's this atmosphere? Is he going to ask me to go out with him? Is this true? Tadase...


"Stop right there nyaaa~" Suddenly a small cat figure jumps in between me and Tadase. What the...??


"Kids should have been on their bed right now nyaa~. No more time for dating nyaa~" Yoru flew around us that really pisses me off.


"What are you doing here you thief cat??" Tadase suddenly shouted with anger looking at Ikuto leaning on the body of the old tree behind us.


"Not much," he said while jumping down lightly from the branches, "I was just watching little kids' romantic drama. It was cheesy though," he said while giggling


"You!!"


"Tadase look!" Kiseki's sudden approach broke the intense atmosphere, "It's the embryo up there!"


The three of us raised our head on the same time. The glistering shining egg with its warm and passionate
aura immersing through it. It's... It's....


"Catch the embryo!" Kiseki ordered me and Tadase with the panic tone.


"Chara change with me Amu-chii!" Ran offer herself which I replied with a nod.


Just as my X-hairclip turned to heart-shaped hairclip, Ikuto flew over me as Tadase was chasing him, racing for the embryo.


"Get off this thing you thief cat! It's ours," Tadase shouted at Ikuto's face


"Well, well, Kiddy king is still as emotional as ever," Ikuto laughed with his husky voice, "But i don't see your
name on it, so I may still able to have it."


As both of their hands were reaching to the embryo, the white egg leaps and made it's retreat, panic with the sudden attack.


"Amu-chii! Let's catch up!" Ran ordered me.


"Okay! Hop, Step, JUMP!" I jumped to the thin air, following both of them.


The embryo was fast. It kept on running away from the grabs of Ikuto's and Tadase's.


"Amu! It went that way!" Miki called me as she pointed where the embryo was about to go, "It went to the tunnel below the constructed mansion dessuu~"


"Got it!" I sprinted myself to catch that egg. Despite of it's gorgeous look, the embryo sure is a hard-to-get egg!


The embryo quickly went into the tunnel as I also follows it. To my luck, the white egg was stucked inside the corner of the tunnel. Sweat drops were overflowing that egg as I straighten my hand to reach out the egg.


"Gotcha!"


In a split second, the earth went bumpy and the ground went chaos. The rocks made its way to the tunnel where me and the embryo's standing now.


"An earthquake!" Tadase screamed. "Hinamori-san!!"


"Ta-Tadase-kun!!" I screamed as the tunnel was almost closed by the big boulders which were rolling and dropping from places.


"Amu-chii!"


"Amu-chan!"


"Amu desuuu~!!"


The tunnel went darker and darker. Oxygen became harder to reach my nose to inhale.


"The embryo!!"


I looked at my hand. It's gone! The embryo was gone!!


My head started to spin, my sights became blurry, my legs were trembling as I fall to the ground.


"AMU!!" I heard a husky voice calling for me in terror.


"Ikuto nya~!! Don't!!"


And the last thing I heard is the sounds of the big rocks clustering themselves together as I blackout...



=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

i think this one is too long --a, oh well. more comments plzz >_<~


edit: changed the format >_<~
Member
19698 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 11/28/08
umh is it that bad that nobody's readin it?
Posted 11/28/08

trumpace wrote:

umh is it that bad that nobody's readin it?


no its great
Member
6898 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / U.S.A
Offline
Posted 11/28/08
I like it, continue, please!
Member
19698 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 11/29/08
for mariah10 and paigegotkisses:

thx xD~~ finally someone put up their comments T^T im touched T^T
okay imma continue the story soon >_<~
Posted 11/29/08 , edited 11/29/08
Wow, Amu trapped inside a cave...
Funny =P, Awwww, you HAD to put the cliffie-like-ending =(...
Ahh well..
First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.