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Twilight movie was a bit overrated don't you think?
Posted 11/28/08
I was deciding whether or not to write a satire for this, but due to previous problems of people being unable to distinguish between sarcasm from sincerity, I figured that a more direct approach would express my disdain more effectively.

Trivia: The script of Twilight was finished within 6 weeks.

So I was able to obtain the script. I challenge any one of you to try to read this to each other seriously without cracking up.

.The Mocking of the Script.

B: You've got to give me some answers.
E: I'd rather hear your theories.
B: I have considered radioactive spiders and kryptonite.
E: That's all superhero stuff, right? What if I'm not the hero? What if I'm... the bad guy?
B: You're not.

.They used this in the trailer. Unfortunately, the first time I heard it was when I was working out. I almost dropped the barbell that time...



E: This is why we don’t show ourselves in sunlight…
[As the sun hits him..Edward’s skin literally sparkles as if embedded with thousands of tiny diamonds.]
E: This.. .is what I am.
B: You're...beautiful...
E: Beautiful? I'm a killer, Bella. This is the skin of a killer.
B: I don't believe that.
E: Because you believe the lie. The camouflage. I’m the world's most dangerous predator. Everything about me invites you in- my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that...As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off. I'm designed to kill.
B: I don't care.
E: I’ve killed people
B: It doesn't matter
E: I wanted to kill you. I’ve never wanted a human's blood so much in my life. I’m dangerous to you.
B: I trust you.
E: Don't.
B: I trust you, Edward. I'm here.

.Yes. Most girls are usually drawn to shiny sparkly things, most of which pertain to jewelry. It’s ingenious that Meyers noticed that and added that characteristic to Edward. I don’t think he’d market as well without it.



E: But your scent, it's like a drug to me...my own personal brand of heroin.
B: oh...I thought you hated me when we met.
E: I did. For making me want you so badly. I'm still not sure I can control myself.
B: I know you can.
E: I wish i could understand this thing you see in me. You look at me with those eyes...I can't read your mind. Tell me what you're thinking.
B: I'm afraid
[stricken, he sinks gracefully to his knees in the grass.]
E: [devastated] Good.
B: Not of that. I'm afraid...you'll disappear. That I'll lose you.
E: You don't know how long I’ve waited for you.


B: How’d you get in here?
E: The window.
B: Do you do that a lot?
E: Just the past couple of months
E: I like watching you sleep…it’s kind of fascinating to me.

......................................................................................


I do believe that one line for each of them is sufficient enough to cover the entire dialogue shown above.

E: I want to make hot, wild love with you Bella, but I can't because I might kill you.
B: I don't care, you‘re hot. Fuck me Edward.

But then there’d be no movie now, would there?

What kind of girl wants a man to stalk her and watch her sleep at night. They probably wish the boy that they like would fall in love with them because he can't read their minds and because they smell like strawberries. Imagine this, the ladies could find a borderline abusive boyfriend that would constantly threaten them with his immense strength. I’d like him to be able to leap from tree to tree with me on his back like an overgrown magic monkey with invincible powers. I hate Stephanie Meyers for introducing this fictional character to me, for now I realize that girls will never find a man twice the man that Edward Cullen is. I think..my heart is melting. For Edward. Oh Edward darling, is the only way we can be together is in death? lol

Seriously, what kind of a message is this sending out to girls out there? In my opinion, the only redeeming quality of Edward Cullen is that he plays the piano.

Twilight to the literary world is like High School Musical to the Disney world. An abomination.
Frankly, I'm surprised that all the radical feminists out there didn’t rally up their troops and protest against the production of this.

I watched this with low expectations, but apparently, they weren't low enough. Twilight boasts some of the worst writing and editing I've ever seen. They blurred the vampires when they moved fast, and that was about it. As for the dialogue, it probably would have been a better movie without it. If you want to laugh, I encourage you to haul your ass to the nearest theater and watch Twilight. I’m glad they made a movie so that people can see just how ridiculous it all is when it's being acted.

Catherine Hardwicke did an absolutely wonderful job on the movie. It was a spot on adaptation of the book. The writers did pretty well considering the material they had to work with, though I can’t say the same for the actors and actresses. There was absolutely no substance at all, which is perfect for their target audience-- young, impressionable, teenage girls. The degeneration of American youth is depressing.

So why is this horribly derivative book so successful? How did it render girls into salivating fools-- rabid fan girls ready to break every nail and rip the hair off your head in defense of Twilight and Stephanie Meyer?
Simple. It gave life to every outcast indie girl’s fantasy:

-To have all the boys in your school vie for your attention
-To win the love of an older, more mature, rich man capable of great things
-To be able to have your sorry ass rescued every second of the day, not that you need it
-To be together with your true love forever and ever.

The poor plot resulted in such a desultory film. It was an absolutely ludicrous portrayal of love and vampires. I don’t believe that the true conflict of the story was that of which was presented by the villains. The villains were laughable, not at all sadistic or perverse like they were meant to be.

Oh Edward’s face is so full of pain and his eyebrows so narrowed that they appear to be one!
I believe that a good symbolism of Bella and Edward’s difficult relationship are his distinct eyebrows. See, his left eyebrow represents Bella and his right eyebrow represents himself. He has to constantly narrow them down intensely in order for them to meet. That’s the conflict of the story. My heart breaks.

The most frightening thing about this movie is that the vampires have to repeat high school over and over again.

They tried to use an actress with a strong demeanor to try to counter Bella Swan's nature, a futile attempt to make Bella appear not as weak and pathetic as she is in the book. Kristen Stewart, who played the part of Isabella Swan, was strangely prosaic and indifferent in her role. It almost seemed as if she lacked a soul at some parts of the movie. It was such a disappointment since she showed much promise in her previous films. I’m sure she only took this part to kiss Robert Pattinson, which frankly speaking, isn’t even at all that attractive. When Robert Pattinson appeared on the screen, no, I did not find him amazing. I will, however, say that he did look a lot better here than in Harry Potter. I understand that the vampires are supposed to be broody and have a look of perpetual agony on their faces but well…Edward looks like he’s about to cry half the time he‘s on camera, especially during the more ‘powerful’ scenes. Speaking of comical expressions, one of the fellow vampires, Jasper, constantly looks as if he's trying to keep himself from vomiting throughout the movie. I can feel his pain. Though the chemistry between Edward and Bella was intense, their acting was undeniably, quite shabby. They really should marry each other in real life and have melodramatic children together.

What piqued my interest was that apparently, according to Stephanie Meyer, vampires don’t disintegrate into ashes in the sun. Instead, they become sparkly, like diamonds. Even better, they don’t have fangs either. Yes, the vampires don’t have fangs. If you happen to be someone with a predilection for traditional vampire-themed books and movies, stay away from this one. If you want a vampire and werewolf story, watch Underworld [the first one, not the second].

Stephanie Meyer acknowledges other authors that partially inspired her-- Jane Austen, Orson Scott Card, Shakespeare, and Charlotte Bronte. Jane Austen is well known for her novel, Pride and Prejudice. Edward Cullen is obviously based off of Mr. Darcy, though he pales in the comparison, figuratively as well as literally speaking. The element of the trademark pledge of undying love and sacrifice for each other was influenced by Romeo and Juliet from Shakespeare. I don’t see how Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre inspired Twilight at all. Bella Swan needs to learn a thing or two from Jane‘s strong character. Now on the other hand, ORSON SCOTT CARD??! How the FUCK does the influence of the author of the well known science fiction series Ender’s Game tie into this? That is insulting. I suspect she threw in his name to heighten her severely lacking intellect to the public.

There was something that really bothered me in the end of the excruciatingly long, slow paced movie. For prom, Bella wore a granny sweater over her rather distasteful prom dress. I don’t understand how they could have let that happen. Someone tell me when Stephanie Meyer’s next book signing is. I assure you that I will be the first in line to slap her.

If you want to watch crap, you can just go to the bathroom, stir your turd around in the toilet, and give them voices. It would be just as equally entertaining.
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Posted 11/28/08
rawr.
oh well i sitil love the movie and the books .
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Posted 11/28/08
*gasp* Another Twilight thread...

"The script of Twilight was finished within 6 weeks."
^ So thats why people say the movie was kinda rushed through
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Posted 11/28/08
omg!!i hate the movie..they skip a lot
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Posted 11/28/08
I gagged throughout the whole movie. James was hot though.
Posted 11/28/08

amethyst014 wrote:

omg!!i hate the movie..they skip a lot


Skip a lot from the book? Of course they would after all they can't fit everything into the movie. It would be even longer and much more boring.
Posted 11/28/08

SuperPoo wrote:

I gagged throughout the whole movie. James was hot though.


I just had a dull expression on my face the whole time. The second asian near the end was pretty hot though lol jk
Posted 11/28/08

angelinax3 wrote:

rawr.
oh well i sitil love the movie and the books . :D


Kelly that's because you're TOO obsessed with the book/movie/Edward Cullen to ever change your view on Twilight lol.
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Posted 11/28/08 , edited 11/28/08
-__-;
I'm putting this here because some mods don't lock up threads even when reported unless you show the actual link, which I find is lazy.


Kippu wrote:

Behold! The power of searching.

Original twilight thread:

Twilight Movie
http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-149305

Locked threads:
Twilight Movie This DEC
http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-249509
Twilight
http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-300659
Twilight Movie
http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-149303
TwLigh MOVIE
http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-386518
How was the twilight movie
http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-389275
TWILIGHT THE MOVIE
http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-387875
TWILIGHT BOOK VS TWILIGHT MOVIE
http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-388812
Twilight Movie Reviews
http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-388400
comments about twilight the movie
http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-393139
New Movie Coming Soon Twilight
http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-267462
did you like the twilight movie
http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-395231
HEY did u like TWILIGHT MOVIE
http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-392605
Twilight movie was a bit overrated dont you think
http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-394971
What do u guy think of the twilight movie that just came out
http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-391341

There's more. But I'm too lazy.














---------------------------


Dim_Sum_King wrote:


E: I want to make hot, wild love with you Bella, but I can't because I might kill you.
B: I don't care, you‘re hot. Fuck me Edward.



I was totally skipping everything you said and was just imitating all the lines out loud until I got to the lines above. I cracked up after realizing what I was repeating.
" I don't care, you're hot. Fuck me Edw--wait a second--was that in the movie?!"


Annyywaaayy..um. Yeah the movie wasn't perfect, and it sucked a zillion times more than the book. But of course I expected that. But I didn't expect them to ruin the characters. The characters looked perfect. But their acting was a bit off.
The bad guys nailed it of course. The bad guys always does a great job. =__=;
Posted 11/28/08 , edited 11/28/08

Kippu wrote:


Dim_Sum_King wrote:


E: I want to make hot, wild love with you Bella, but I can't because I might kill you.
B: I don't care, you‘re hot. Fuck me Edward.



I was totally skipping everything you said and was just imitating all the lines out loud until I got to the lines above. I cracked up after realizing what I was repeating.
" I don't care, you're hot. Fuck me Edw--wait a second--was that in the movie?!"


Annyywaaayy..um. Yeah the movie wasn't perfect, and it sucked a zillion times more than the book. But of course I expected that. But I didn't expect them to ruin the characters. The characters looked perfect. But their acting was a bit off.
The bad guys nailed it of course. The bad guys always does a great job. =__=;


No it wasn't I got bored so I decided to screw around and yeah it was a bit too long so I expected that most people would skim through it and see if that would catch their eye lol

Bad guys were okay. But when were first shown I cracked up. White girl, white guy...black guy that looked liked Whoopi Goldberg LOL. Well I thought the fighting with James and Edward was really bad.
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Posted 11/28/08




Twilight High School Musical:

B: I know what you are.
E: Say it! Say it out loud!
B: Republican.
E: No.
B: A Morman.
E: No.
B: Gay?
E: I get that a lot.
Posted 11/28/08

SuperPoo wrote:

I gagged throughout the whole movie. James was hot though.


lol i agree (:
Posted 11/28/08 , edited 11/28/08

mikomiko123 wrote:





Twilight High School Musical:

B: I know what you are.
E: Say it! Say it out loud!
B: Republican.
E: No.
B: A Morman.
E: No.
B: Gay?
E: I get that a lot.


LOL thanks for sharing the video! =D
Posted 11/28/08
i still loved it!!
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Posted 11/28/08 , edited 11/28/08

Dim_Sum_King wrote:

hahaha no it wasn't I got bored so I decided to screw around.

Bad guys were okay. But when were first shown I cracked up. White girl, white guy...black guy that looked liked Whoopi Goldberg LOL. Well I thought the fighting with James and Edward was really bad.


Yeah actually I think lureant was a bit off too. Umm..aren't vampires suppose to have pale white skin? He was dark coloured. Not to be racist or anything, but I think they just stuck him in there so they wouldn't have to deal with racism in movies. =__=;
His accent was terrible. For a 300 year old vampire he didn't sound his age either, I caught him using slang. I forgot which line it was.

And the fight scene with edward..oh god. Don't get me started. First of all edward was completely losing, and then all of a sudden when the others show up, james goes down automatically and lets alice snap his head off so easily. He didn't even fight, he just pumbled edward a bit and then BAM! he's dead.

And what the heck was with the crouching and growling? They looked like monkeys -_____-;
Shouldn't they have been more..elegant? Ugh, I don't know. I think I expected too much out of the movie. It seemed too rush to me. They missed out on a lot of key points, my favourite scene was the baseball scene which only lasted exactly 1:48 seconds.
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