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Post Reply What do you think of Long Distance Relationships?
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26 / M / Upstate NY
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Posted 10/28/12
will it work, will it not work?

I like to think that i can work but only if one is truly committed in actually meeting that person, If you been "seeing" some for a year and never had a face to face or ever set a goal to work at closing the gap then i would say your done. If your in HS and your LDR is with someone who is in the same boat as you then no, common sense can tell anyone that.

what do you think makes people wants to commit in long distance relationships?

Main things that come to mind are Loneliness and Acceptance.

what are the positive and negative about it?

Everyone's Pro's and Con's are different so it depends on the individual(s)

would you do it?

After saying all that (mostly negative) stuff. I would say that we could try a LDR after getting to know them face to face and no that skype and facetime garbage doesn't count as face to face.
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16 / F / Guangzhou (but im...
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Posted 10/28/12
i've been in one for almost 1 year now.. we were physically together for a year too. i even ignored him for 3 months when i came to china as i was in aa bad place mentally, but he never failed to still call me everyday and message me.. send me letters and to this day still treats me like his queen.. i love my hubby dearly >.<
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26 / M / Israel
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Posted 10/28/12
Never worked for me, tried it twice and it didn't last longer then a month but that might just be my bad luck.
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23 / M / Ireland
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Posted 10/28/12
worked for me a couple years back. Dunno how it would turn out if i ever tried it again.
Banned
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18 / M / Stoke, England
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Posted 10/28/12
If it's meant to be, of course it'll work. If it doesn't, that's because you're probably a stupid fucking brat.
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18 / F / Finland
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Posted 10/28/12
I think long distance relationships can work very well if there really is love in it I`m am happily at the moment in one and haven´t regret nothing! He is most likely coming to my country after x-mas for a about a week and then we will see each other face to face <3
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Posted 10/28/12
There's a reason why everyone says, "Long Distance relationships never work out."
It's because of how difficult the relationship becomes when you can't see eachother,
and you're constrained to phone calls, trying to work those phone calls into your
schedule, keeping a balance of not talking ALL THE TIME (which gets extremely boring,
especially when you just plain run out of things to talk about.) Then there's the lack
of a physicality aspect. Let's face it, whether you're a guy or a girl, sometimes you just
want to sit down and have someone sitting next to you.. or maybe it's to hold your hand,
maybe it's the horizontal happy dance.. But lacking that aspect of a relationship could
easily be seen as missing 50%, if not more.
Plus it just sucks.
If you can make it work, (and if you do, kudos to the freakin' moon) then it's great.

But I've always compared it to trying to play nintendo without a controller.. without something to touch and hold on to, it just doesn't work out in your favor.
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24 / F / SEA
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Posted 10/28/12 , edited 10/28/12

isisprince wrote:


meowtaku wrote:

I'm having one currently..
It's tiring, and I'm the one who being possesive and such..
Very Not Recommended kind of relationship~
PM if you in a same state as me ;w;


My recommendation is, find something to do in between. For all those times you are sitting at home missing the one you love, go find something to do. Keep your relationship going, but keep your own life going also, and it will really keep things in perspective for you.

Best of luck to you both!


thankies..
Yes.. It's better not to do this kind of relationship..
I'm in 4th years actually.. It's tiring, but the feelings can't be just got faded that easy
It's my fault in the first time to receive his love :)) but now I don't mind waiting for him, I only hope he's worth the wait.

Cheat on me~ I'LL STAB STAB STAB YOU!
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23 / M / Australia
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Posted 10/28/12
It's relentlessly difficult and didn't work for me.
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24 / F / SEA
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Posted 10/28/12

dazedandconfuzed wrote:


meowtaku wrote:

I'm having one currently..
It's tiring, and I'm the one who being possesive and such..
Very Not Recommended kind of relationship~
PM if you in a same state as me ;w;


*waves from state below u* :)

and long distancd relationships are indeed tiring and take commitment on both sides...the longer time spent apart the harder it gets :(





netdisorder wrote:

I fuck on the first date


@dazedandconfuzed
*waves* it is.. but looks like I'm getting more and more ignorant about not meeting each other.. even online is enough.. /flail << lies lies lies lies half lies

@netdisorder
good for you :))
Kiune 
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23 / M / UK
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Posted 10/28/12
I have alot of experience in this.

My first relationship was with a girl in Spain which lasted a year and a half. I was younger then though, but i managed to see her once every two months thanks to be parents being understanding. It went fine, we spoke for hours and hours online, enjoyed each others company very much when we got to see each other, i got to know her friends and she got to know mine. It was great. We called it "love" back then, although i'm beginning to doubt what that word means after my last relationship. In the end i finished it because... well. In short, i was an immature prick and essentially got bored. I had just moved to a new country (Netherlands) and wanted a fresh start.

My second and most recent, albeit a year and half ago now, was with a girl i met in Holland in the 6th Form i went to just before i moved back to England for University. Now i'm going to have to try and be objective here, because she ended up cheating on me and it's still unpleasant to think about. The relationship was the best one i have been in in my life, i can without a doubt say that i loved her with everything i had and i did everything and anything i could for her. It was a bit of a fairy tail, the way we met, how we confesed. We went camping shortly after we met, and ended up going on a bit of a wander at night. We stopped on a bridge over a river, and we just stood there looking at the moon (no i'm seriously not making this up). She turned to me and looking at the floor started tearing up and started saying "I...I...I" I grabbed her shoulders, and said "I know, and... i think i love you too."

Corny right? But it actually happened. How can a relationship like that go wrong right?

Ok, tangent over. Basically, the relationship started to go wrong after our first summer we spent together. We had a long talk about where the relationship was, and where it's going and what it was going to be like when she was at Uni in England. And this is where mistake number one happened. I said i would change myself completely.

Wrong answer.

It started to go downhill for the next 6 months, and this is where the difference started in LDR vs normal relationship. You have to make a choice between friends and socialising, and staying in and talking to your partner to maintain healthy communication. She chose friends, i... well. I didn't have any friends. Problems arose, we couldn't talk about the problems due to poor communication, which then led to more.
This also ment that any time we DID talk was about problems in the relationship. <<< This is not good.

Eventually she cheated on me. That was it basically, i wanted to keep going due to aforementioned head over heals love, she did too. For a while. She broke up with me shortly after that.

Basically. From my experience. They can work, but they need very very specific types of people. They are much much more difficult, open to trust abuse, much more expensive and sacrifices have to be made on BOTH sides. But. It can be worth it, this relationship was a massive learning experience and a crucial part of me becoming me. Just be aware of what you are getting yourself into. unless you're lucky enough to eventually move in together and get married or something similar, to me, the sheer amount of time effort and money required to make an LDR work is only worthit in a few cases.

Sorry, that was long winded. I'm sure someone will appreciate reading this though.
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33 / F / North Pole
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Posted 10/28/12

Kiune wrote:

I have alot of experience in this.

My first relationship was with a girl in Spain which lasted a year and a half. I was younger then though, but i managed to see her once every two months thanks to be parents being understanding. It went fine, we spoke for hours and hours online, enjoyed each others company very much when we got to see each other, i got to know her friends and she got to know mine. It was great. We called it "love" back then, although i'm beginning to doubt what that word means after my last relationship. In the end i finished it because... well. In short, i was an immature prick and essentially got bored. I had just moved to a new country (Netherlands) and wanted a fresh start.

My second and most recent, albeit a year and half ago now, was with a girl i met in Holland in the 6th Form i went to just before i moved back to England for University. Now i'm going to have to try and be objective here, because she ended up cheating on me and it's still unpleasant to think about. The relationship was the best one i have been in in my life, i can without a doubt say that i loved her with everything i had and i did everything and anything i could for her. It was a bit of a fairy tail, the way we met, how we confesed. We went camping shortly after we met, and ended up going on a bit of a wander at night. We stopped on a bridge over a river, and we just stood there looking at the moon (no i'm seriously not making this up). She turned to me and looking at the floor started tearing up and started saying "I...I...I" I grabbed her shoulders, and said "I know, and... i think i love you too."

Corny right? But it actually happened. How can a relationship like that go wrong right?

Ok, tangent over. Basically, the relationship started to go wrong after our first summer we spent together. We had a long talk about where the relationship was, and where it's going and what it was going to be like when she was at Uni in England. And this is where mistake number one happened. I said i would change myself completely.

Wrong answer.

It started to go downhill for the next 6 months, and this is where the difference started in LDR vs normal relationship. You have to make a choice between friends and socialising, and staying in and talking to your partner to maintain healthy communication. She chose friends, i... well. I didn't have any friends. Problems arose, we couldn't talk about the problems due to poor communication, which then led to more.
This also ment that any time we DID talk was about problems in the relationship. <<< This is not good.

Eventually she cheated on me. That was it basically, i wanted to keep going due to aforementioned head over heals love, she did too. For a while. She broke up with me shortly after that.

Basically. From my experience. They can work, but they need very very specific types of people. They are much much more difficult, open to trust abuse, much more expensive and sacrifices have to be made on BOTH sides. But. It can be worth it, this relationship was a massive learning experience and a crucial part of me becoming me. Just be aware of what you are getting yourself into. unless you're lucky enough to eventually move in together and get married or something similar, to me, the sheer amount of time effort and money required to make an LDR work is only worthit in a few cases.

Sorry, that was long winded. I'm sure someone will appreciate reading this though.


I appreciated.
Nice to get a guy's input who have been in a LDR that isn't completely negative.
I'm in a LDR at the moment, rough as hell but I believe we will make it : )

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20 / F
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Posted 10/28/12
It's difficult because you can't see each other when you'd like to meet again..
It's a harder relationship and you have to put more effort in it.
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25 / M / California
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Posted 10/28/12
I'm the sort of person who'd probably tell you that it's horrible and try it anyway and hurt myself.
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M / Northeast
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Posted 10/28/12

Kiune wrote:

I have alot of experience in this.

My first relationship was with a girl in Spain which lasted a year and a half. I was younger then though, but i managed to see her once every two months thanks to be parents being understanding. It went fine, we spoke for hours and hours online, enjoyed each others company very much when we got to see each other, i got to know her friends and she got to know mine. It was great. We called it "love" back then, although i'm beginning to doubt what that word means after my last relationship. In the end i finished it because... well. In short, i was an immature prick and essentially got bored. I had just moved to a new country (Netherlands) and wanted a fresh start.

My second and most recent, albeit a year and half ago now, was with a girl i met in Holland in the 6th Form i went to just before i moved back to England for University. Now i'm going to have to try and be objective here, because she ended up cheating on me and it's still unpleasant to think about. The relationship was the best one i have been in in my life, i can without a doubt say that i loved her with everything i had and i did everything and anything i could for her. It was a bit of a fairy tail, the way we met, how we confesed. We went camping shortly after we met, and ended up going on a bit of a wander at night. We stopped on a bridge over a river, and we just stood there looking at the moon (no i'm seriously not making this up). She turned to me and looking at the floor started tearing up and started saying "I...I...I" I grabbed her shoulders, and said "I know, and... i think i love you too."

Corny right? But it actually happened. How can a relationship like that go wrong right?

Ok, tangent over. Basically, the relationship started to go wrong after our first summer we spent together. We had a long talk about where the relationship was, and where it's going and what it was going to be like when she was at Uni in England. And this is where mistake number one happened. I said i would change myself completely.

Wrong answer.

It started to go downhill for the next 6 months, and this is where the difference started in LDR vs normal relationship. You have to make a choice between friends and socialising, and staying in and talking to your partner to maintain healthy communication. She chose friends, i... well. I didn't have any friends. Problems arose, we couldn't talk about the problems due to poor communication, which then led to more.
This also ment that any time we DID talk was about problems in the relationship. <<< This is not good.

Eventually she cheated on me. That was it basically, i wanted to keep going due to aforementioned head over heals love, she did too. For a while. She broke up with me shortly after that.

Basically. From my experience. They can work, but they need very very specific types of people. They are much much more difficult, open to trust abuse, much more expensive and sacrifices have to be made on BOTH sides. But. It can be worth it, this relationship was a massive learning experience and a crucial part of me becoming me. Just be aware of what you are getting yourself into. unless you're lucky enough to eventually move in together and get married or something similar, to me, the sheer amount of time effort and money required to make an LDR work is only worthit in a few cases.

Sorry, that was long winded. I'm sure someone will appreciate reading this though.


This is all true. I'm sorry to hear how it turned out for you. How very accurate, though! It takes a real commitment and real special people to do this. I would say most people can't.
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