Post Reply Help with Hope
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27 / F / In my room studyi...
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Posted 12/6/08
If there is a problem you feel unable to deal with by yourself and you wish for your fellow CR brethrens help, you can post it here and we won't turn you away...^^
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1500 cr points
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27 / F / In my room studyi...
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Posted 1/11/09 , edited 1/11/09
Alright, well I'll go first...in my younger years 13-17, I had given up totally on life. My family were (and still are) a bunch of losers. They did absolutely nothing for my mother and I, but they were quick to criticize the decisions we made. My father, I never knew the loser and despite how much I smiled and tried to shrug off my feelings, his absence impacted me greatly. I was always a fabulous student. I got eight awards in elementrary school and was almost school valedictorian (that didn't work out because my math skills were still weak). I got to junior high and excelled but once I turned 12, everything went downhill. I began hanging out with the wrong crowd (loud ghetto girls who didn't do their school work but were quick to open their legs...), i flunked out and focused my attention solely on boys, I never went out with any of them but I became too distracted...when I reached high school, I was in shock. I had gotten into one of the best schools in NY (how, I had no clue) and I didn't feel that I deserved to be there. The same pattern happened, flunked out, focused on boys, blamed my mom for my turmoil, got depressed, ditched school, tried cutting myself, had crying fits over my absentee father, became a reclusive person, kept thinking about all the people that have died in my family (another occurence that impacted me as well). In my short lifetime, I feel as though I've aged by 100 years every year...I've never even been to a wedding...so I only have the image that tv shows me of what a wedding looks like...but I can tell you exactly what a funeral looks like. I can easily describe a dead body...at 18, it finally dawned on me that moping around wasn't going to achieve anything. I got my GED, I focused my attention of God instead of boys, I became Afrocentric (if you don't know what that is, look it up), I increased my knowledge of this world and other cultures, I thanked God for my friends and my mom everyday because they keep me going (them and anime that is) and I counted all my blessings very carefully to see that my life ain't so bad after all...thats my short summary of the kinds of stuff I had to go through. If I told you everything...I'd have to give you proceeds of my book (that I may write later on in life, hee!) Tell me your story, maybe I can help...
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