First  Prev  1  2  Next  Last
poem tell me what you think plz
5354 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
29 / F / beaverditch
Posted 12/9/08

Drkcloud wrote:

ichbinfroh wrote:

Drkcloud wrote:

in my honest opinion, your poem sucks, first off its MUCH too dark, second of all, honestly, you're talking about pain, blood, its definitely gonna be a popular or even good topic. third of all, 2 of those paragraphs are the same which seems to me like a waste. and finally, theres nothing about it that makes it catchy, no rhyming, etc

poems don't have to rhyme... there are loads of good poems that don't rhyme.

well, its just one of the few reasons, its definitely not the main one, but theres nothing catchy or entertaining about it, ofc, there are many poems like this format but there's nothing about that poem that makes it symbolic or significant

oh no, i know what you mean. i didn't mean to say that *this* poem was good in particular XD
Posted 12/9/08
i hate poetry, but thts pretty good
11343 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / The ocean of my D...
Posted 12/9/08
>_> i wonder should i post one of my old poem? Its kind of emo though.....
10513 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / In your room stea...
Posted 12/9/08

aytchmadden wrote:

pain my beautiful mistress
how i have missed the
as the wound sprouts forth
the hounds lap at the lifeblood
you come back to me
how well i know your face
how well i know your touch
i do not fear thee,
nor do i turn away,
i embrace thee as my kin and welcome you
for when i do not feel pain anylonger
then i shall cower in fear for i have lost
ihave lost that which make

That sounds like something you found in a book from a long time ago. And it sounds retarded, it doesn't really sound like a poem at all, but rather a bunch stupid old saying all grouped together.
Posted 12/30/08
Post in here instead

No personal threads allowed.

First  Prev  1  2  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.