~GAME~ Post your jokes~~~~
activity organizer
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22 / M / Singapore
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Posted 12/9/08
Hey guys! whats a group without some laughter? post your jokes here and make us laugh!

please rate the person's joke above you: example:

first person:(joke).........................(joke)

second person: i rate his/her joke 9!
(joke.......................(joke)


third person: i rate his/her joke 10!!!!
(joke)................(joke)


and so on.

rating is out of 10 :D

NOTE: all jokes should be strictly pg-13

thanks, and start posting everyone~~
gfx shopper
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20 / F / On a fantastical...
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Posted 12/10/08
What do u call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick!!! hhahahahahahaha (im such a loser laughing at my own jokes,xP)
gfx shopper
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27 / M / Charlotte, NC
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Posted 12/10/08
I rate that joke a 5.

A child psychologist, working for the local elementary school, was asked to see a pupil who drew all his pictures with black and brown crayons. She talked to him, but saw nothing obvious in his responses. She gave him projective tests, but saw nothing conclusive in his results.
Finally, in desperation, she gave him some paper and a new box of crayons.
“Oh, goody!” said the boy. “I got an old box in school and only the black and brown ones are left.” (Expect me to post in this forum often)
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F
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Posted 12/11/08
Lol but I'll rate it a 6.

My joke may be offending to blonde-haired people so I do apolgise before hand.

SORRY! SORRY! SORRY!

Now here's my joke:

There was a man who was working at a club as a person that manipulates his voice to make it appear as if it was coming out of the puppet. One night while doing a show in the club, he was telling his dumb blonde jokes with the puppet on his lap. Suddenly a blonde woman gets up and stands on her chair. She then starts shouting "I've had enough of your dumb blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?" What does hair colour have to do with anything? You know, it's people like you that women can't be respected at work and in the community. It's because you and your type of people always discriminate against, not only blondes but women everywhere... and what for? Just for fun!

At that moment the man was embarrassed and started apologising, but then the blonde yells out "You there stay out of this! I'm not talking to you but the little jerk that's sitting on your lap!"
gfx shopper
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27 / M / Charlotte, NC
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Posted 12/14/08
(This thread needs bumping)
I rate that joke a 3 due to the obvious punchline.
Hope this qualifies as PG-13.

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled.
"Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I'm sorry....we can't hire you."
"But wait," he said. "If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!"
"Really? Great! Show me!"
So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.
"Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanizing all over, the country!"
"Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!"
"Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?"
"Oh, that," he sighed. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"
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F
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Posted 12/15/08
Ummm... let's see I don't really get it but lols it's alrite so I rate it a 6...

This joke is kinda lame but I tell u anyways...

There was a man went in to a bar with an ostrich right behind him. He sits down and then the bartender asks what do they want.

The man says "I'll have a beer" and then he asks the ostrich "What about you?". The ostrich then says "I'll have the same"

Later on the bartender pours their drinks and says "That'll be $4.70". The man reaches in to his pocket and pays the exact amount needed.

So the next day, the man and the ostrich went in to the bar again. The man says "I'll have a beer" and the ostrich says "I'll have the same" Again the man reached into his pocket and paid the exact amount needed.

Soon it became a normal routine for the man and ostrich. Then one evening when the two went in to the bar again, the bartender asked "The usua?l". However the man said "No thanks I think it's time for a change so I'll have a Scotch". The ostrich again said "I'll have the same as him". The bartender gave them the drinks and said "That'll be $8.40". The man reached into his pocket and handed over the exact amount again.

The bartender was so curious and then asked the man "Ah... Sir. How do you always manage to hand me the exact amount of money every single time?"

The man said "Well... I was cleaning in my attic and found an old lamp. I rubbed it and a Genie came out saying he would grant me 2 wishes. First i wished that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the exact amount will be there."

"That's so smart" said the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars but it won't last long however your wish will last you for a life time"

Then the bartender asks "Well... then what's with the ostrich?

Then the man says "Oh... Well you see... My second wish was for a chick with long legs"
gfx shopper
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21 / F / >.< guess where ^.^
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Posted 12/20/08
=o lols ill rate it 7

My Joke ^.^

There was 3 people that was brought to an island and was given a challenge. If they didn't complete it, they would be shot dead.
Their challenge was to get 10 fruits that are the same and stuff it up their bum without laughing.

The first guy arrived with 10 oranges and started stuffing it up his bum. When he got to his 6th, he couldn't help it but laugh and was shot dead.

The second guy arrived with 10 grapes. When he got up to his 9th, he looked around and couldn't help but laugh and he too was shot dead.

In heaven, the first guy asked the second guy.
First Guy: "why did you laugh? you were so close to be on your way home.
Second Guy: "I couldn't help it.......when i looked around.....i saw the 3rd guy arriving with pineapples.
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F
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Posted 1/2/09 , edited 1/2/09
Lols I rate that a 7!!!

Here another joke...

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.

“What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room. “Why are you down here at this time of night?” The husband looks up, “Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?” he asks solemnly. The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. “Yes, I do,” she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. “Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?”

“Yes, I remember,” says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues... “Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years”. “I remember that too”, she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... “I would have gotten out today!”
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20 / F / Pluto
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Posted 1/10/09
lol i heard that one already so i'll give it a 6

my awesomely boring joke :D
A little boy goes to a store and asks if there are coloured cigarettes but then man says no to him.
It happened a lot of times and one day the sales man got bored and on the night he too a box of cigarettes and started painting them, at the next day when the little boy came the salesman smiled and said, "yes, we do have coloured cigarettes, what colour do you want? and then the boys answered" white pleas ^_^"
i noe it's weird and stuff..but i have jokes-writer-block >_<
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