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Ultimate Chiller
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Posted 12/15/08
Ok sorry for the wait...I don't live in America so I am allowed to laugh at this and see it from an outsiders views but if you live in America (megaspork) then you would be able to laugh at it and see the truth in a lot of it =a win-win situation

Proof of human stupidity


1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

. 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

11.Only in America.....Will you go to a restraunt in seaworld and ask for bandaids and get mayonnaise

EVER WONDER Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

------------------ In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Frito's:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) (Ok, It was supposed to be translated as " to be used for intended use only" basically what it means is don't use your food processor as a wood chipper people. lol)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Super Chiller
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Posted 12/16/08
lol I don't think I'd try to stop any moving object with my genitals! lol
Ultimate Chiller
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26 / F / Australia
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Posted 12/16/08
ahaha well that might be a good idea it could get messy lol
Super Chiller
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Posted 12/16/08
And painful! lol
Ultimate Chiller
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Posted 12/17/08
yup only i wouldnt know XD anyway the next few...



<<<---- that would so be me XD



<<<---- good idea, at every mcDonalds u see that creepy statue of that creepy person doing that creepy pose. Someone finally made sense of that pose XD

Super Chiller
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Posted 12/17/08










Super Chiller
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Posted 12/20/08

Tsuyaki wrote:

yup only i wouldnt know XD anyway the next few...



<<<---- that would so be me XD



<<<---- good idea, at every mcDonalds u see that creepy statue of that creepy person doing that creepy pose. Someone finally made sense of that pose XD




Hey, have you completly abandoned this group? I was havin fun. lol
Ultimate Chiller
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Posted 12/20/08
no sorry ive just been busy with other things >.< plus ive been looking 4 stuff 2 post here and they're saved on my comp so i will try to upload asap sorry
Ultimate Chiller
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26 / F / Australia
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Posted 12/20/08
okay im bak i have some time now
here we go...
<<<---- i'd love this, if u wanna get your money, you'd better be good at your math XD

WTF?!?!?! Okay~~~ "are you sure you want to lock that in for a million dollars?"
ummmm how???
so ah, i guess its best to obey the rules on this road then...
<<<---- you'd better hope your not busting
Super Chiller
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30 / M / With Jesus
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Posted 12/21/08
















Posted 1/4/09
potato
Super Chiller
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30 / M / With Jesus
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Posted 1/5/09
If you step on a potato, it will squish between your toes, then we must call you potatoe! :P
An original poem by Jeremy Smith.
Ultimate Chiller
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26 / F / Australia
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Posted 1/6/09
haha lovely start rolling out the photocopies to the publishing district lol
Super Chiller
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Posted 1/6/09
Publish them with a picture of myself. That'll really make em sell or scare the people away, I don't know which. lol
Ultimate Chiller
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Posted 1/7/09
haha maybe both lol
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