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Fear of sex
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24 / F / Missouri, USA
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Posted 12/17/08
[I checked and I don't think this topic has been started yet...]

In less than two months I will be seventeen.And I'm afraid of sex already.

I was in a relationship that took us to a point in less than a month and we had sex very quickly. [Within the first week.] We spent the rest of the day together and it was amazing. He dumped me two weeks later for a band.

He swore up til a month later that he really did love me but I have embedded in my mind that he was just using me for sex and because I wouldn't do oral, dumped me.


This has caused me not to want to have sex in relationships.


Has this happened to anyone else?
16324 cr points
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27 / M / Bangalore,India
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Posted 12/17/08
Nah, I'm on the wait till marriage bandwagon.
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26 / F / ಠ_ಠ
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Posted 12/17/08 , edited 12/17/08
fear of condom out of stock. fear of aids


KakashisLover26 wrote:

[I checked and I don't think this topic has been started yet...]

In less than two months I will be seventeen.And I'm afraid of sex already.

I was in a relationship that took us to a point in less than a month and we had sex very quickly. [Within the first week.] We spent the rest of the day together and it was amazing. He dumped me two weeks later for a band.

He swore up til a month later that he really did love me but I have embedded in my mind that he was just using me for sex and because I wouldn't do oral, dumped me.


This has caused me not to want to have sex in relationships.


Has this happened to anyone else?

ouch. sucks for him. he lost somebody really cute.

Please use the edit button and do not double post! - zen03y
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22 / M / The Netherlands
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Posted 12/17/08 , edited 12/17/08
fear of aids


KakashisLover26 wrote:

[I checked and I don't think this topic has been started yet...]

In less than two months I will be seventeen.And I'm afraid of sex already.

I was in a relationship that took us to a point in less than a month and we had sex very quickly. [Within the first week.] We spent the rest of the day together and it was amazing. He dumped me two weeks later for a band.

He swore up til a month later that he really did love me but I have embedded in my mind that he was just using me for sex and because I wouldn't do oral, dumped me.


This has caused me not to want to have sex in relationships.


Has this happened to anyone else?

You are stupid to do it so fast. IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT =.=

Please use the edit button and do not double post! - zen03y
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24 / F / Missouri, USA
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Posted 12/17/08 , edited 10/26/09

phame wrote:


KakashisLover26 wrote:

[I checked and I don't think this topic has been started yet...]

In less than two months I will be seventeen.And I'm afraid of sex already.

I was in a relationship that took us to a point in less than a month and we had sex very quickly. [Within the first week.] We spent the rest of the day together and it was amazing. He dumped me two weeks later for a band.

He swore up til a month later that he really did love me but I have embedded in my mind that he was just using me for sex and because I wouldn't do oral, dumped me.


This has caused me not to want to have sex in relationships.


Has this happened to anyone else?


You are stupid to do it so fast. IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT =.=


Yeah yeah... I know its my fault.


akosiedda wrote:


KakashisLover26 wrote:

[I checked and I don't think this topic has been started yet...]

In less than two months I will be seventeen.And I'm afraid of sex already.

I was in a relationship that took us to a point in less than a month and we had sex very quickly. [Within the first week.] We spent the rest of the day together and it was amazing. He dumped me two weeks later for a band.

He swore up til a month later that he really did love me but I have embedded in my mind that he was just using me for sex and because I wouldn't do oral, dumped me.


This has caused me not to want to have sex in relationships.


Has this happened to anyone else?



ouch. sucks for him. he lost somebody really cute.


And thank you sweetie.

Posted 12/17/08
I am on the "wait for the right guy" badwagon..... it doesn't have to be after marriage for me but, I need to really know he is the right one.... As to what to be afraid of I am not sure fear is the right word but........... There are lots of sexually transmitted diseases out there that even a condom will not help you with.... There is also the chance of pregnancy .... not to mention the emotional toll a sexual relationship can have on you.

Happy to be a 23yr old virgin......... at least for now.....

~Echo
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28 / F
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Posted 12/17/08
For me... No sex b4 marriage... Tt's for sure... 20 years old virgin now and I'm happy and proud about it... hahaz... No fear no nth..... Just waiting for the rite one....
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M / UK
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Posted 12/17/08 , edited 12/17/08

KakashisLover26 wrote:

[I checked and I don't think this topic has been started yet...]

In less than two months I will be seventeen.And I'm afraid of sex already.

I was in a relationship that took us to a point in less than a month and we had sex very quickly. [Within the first week.] We spent the rest of the day together and it was amazing. He dumped me two weeks later for a band.

He swore up til a month later that he really did love me but I have embedded in my mind that he was just using me for sex and because I wouldn't do oral, dumped me.


This has caused me not to want to have sex in relationships.


Has this happened to anyone else?

You should take your time!


Yikiwa wrote:

For me... No sex b4 marriage... Tt's for sure... 20 years old virgin now and I'm happy and proud about it... hahaz... No fear no nth..... Just waiting for the rite one....

heheeh me too!

Please use the edit button and do not double post! - zen03y
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29 / M / SINGAPORE
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Posted 12/17/08
well the only fear i get from sex is that i dont climax ...even after 2hr.....
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24 / F / Missouri, USA
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Posted 12/17/08

animecrazy86 wrote:


KakashisLover26 wrote:

[I checked and I don't think this topic has been started yet...]

In less than two months I will be seventeen.And I'm afraid of sex already.

I was in a relationship that took us to a point in less than a month and we had sex very quickly. [Within the first week.] We spent the rest of the day together and it was amazing. He dumped me two weeks later for a band.

He swore up til a month later that he really did love me but I have embedded in my mind that he was just using me for sex and because I wouldn't do oral, dumped me.


This has caused me not to want to have sex in relationships.


Has this happened to anyone else?



You should take your time!


Eh... At this point I don't want to have sex.

I believe once they reach puberty, you shouldn't be allowed to see anyone fully naked.

Posted 12/17/08 , edited 12/17/08
?

become sex buddies ;D


Razen wrote:

well the only fear i get from sex is that i dont climax ...even after 2hr.....


that's okay if she's not a virgin. lol

maybe it's not enough sexually intense for you and that might be the reason of why you're orgasm takes its time. >.>
Posted 12/17/08 , edited 10/26/09
Relax, it takes too much energy to fight with yourself about whether or not it was a mistake. It happened, end of story. I don't think this thread should be for us to tell the OP she made a mistake, because that's for her to decide later on when she has some perspective.

I think there is a lot of latent wisdom in the thread title. Sex is a powerful beast, and it should be respected if not feared, regardless. Maybe you feel a lot of fear now because you wished you'd felt it before, wishing you could change the way things played out.

I was afraid of sex for about a year after my first time. I had sex because I ran out of reasons to not have sex, and my partner made a convincing, non PG-13 argument for having sex. And it was one of the loneliest things I have done with someone. But it came with good things along with the bad; sex was no longer a faceless monster looming on the horizon, it became something very concrete. It also taught me how vulnerable you can feel with someone, and what it's like to have someone make themselves vulnerable for you.

Sex isn't something you should be afraid of; since then I have learned that it can be really awesome. You'll see that you've learned a lot about yourself and your own needs, and that you can bring this knowledge with you to fuel the success of future relationships.

And someone who breaks up with you for not performing a specific sex act isn't worth your time. Don't give yourself baggage by thinking you have to compromise yourself in the first month of a relationship, because you don't.


Razen wrote:

well the only fear i get from sex is that i dont climax ...even after 2hr.....


I used to have this problem too. You just gotta learn to relax and not think about it. Sure, you'll always be way behind your partners, but you can shoot for 1 you : 3 her or 2 you : 6 her and share it eventually. You'll find your partners will have no problem running extra laps.
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24 / F / Missouri, USA
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Posted 12/17/08

gopherthegold wrote:

Relax, it takes too much energy to fight with yourself about whether or not it was a mistake. It happened, end of story. I don't think this thread should be for us to tell the OP she made a mistake, because that's for her to decide later on when she has some perspective.

I think there is a lot of latent wisdom in the thread title. Sex is a powerful beast, and it should be respected if not feared, regardless. Maybe you feel a lot of fear now because you wished you'd felt it before, wishing you could change the way things played out.

I was afraid of sex for about a year after my first time. I had sex because I ran out of reasons to not have sex, and my partner made a convincing, non PG-13 argument for having sex. And it was one of the loneliest things I have done with someone. But it came with good things along with the bad; sex was no longer a faceless monster looming on the horizon, it became something very concrete. It also taught me how vulnerable you can feel with someone, and what it's like to have someone make themselves vulnerable for you.

Sex isn't something you should be afraid of; since then I have learned that it can be really awesome. You'll see that you've learned a lot about yourself and your own needs, and that you can bring this knowledge with you to fuel the success of future relationships.

And someone who breaks up with you for not performing a specific sex act isn't worth your time. Don't give yourself baggage by thinking you have to compromise yourself in the first month of a relationship, because you don't.


Well its not just all of that, during the time I was having sex, I couldn't bring myself to relax and my body just kind of went numb.

Masturbation is much better.

Posted 12/17/08

KakashisLover26 wrote:
Masturbation is much better.



"I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline of good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state... I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly."
-Neil Gaiman, American Gods

Patience. You will look back at your words and laugh someday. Women don't hit their sexual peak till 40, remember!
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27 / M / Sweden
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Posted 12/17/08
if you use condom theres nothing to be afraid of.

Just find a new guy.
Why not oral? It feels good for both of you
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