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Fear of sex
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26 / M / Seattle, WA
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Posted 12/18/08
afraid of sex..? what?..
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26 / M / Seattle, WA
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Posted 12/18/08

fadedsilver wrote:

Sex before marriage is kinda illegal... Though, who cares?
Just move on...


what? illegal?.. what country is this?..
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27 / M / Illinois
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Posted 12/18/08 , edited 12/18/08

KakashisLover26 wrote:

[I checked and I don't think this topic has been started yet...]

In less than two months I will be seventeen.And I'm afraid of sex already.

I was in a relationship that took us to a point in less than a month and we had sex very quickly. [Within the first week.] We spent the rest of the day together and it was amazing. He dumped me two weeks later for a band.

He swore up til a month later that he really did love me but I have embedded in my mind that he was just using me for sex and because I wouldn't do oral, dumped me.


This has caused me not to want to have sex in relationships.


Has this happened to anyone else?


Welcome to life. Been in bed with one women, and then she decided to basically run me over with a truck in a very non-literal sense, but that's what it felt like. She wanted a taste of other kool-aid, and decided to jump on that train. Year and half of a relationship down the shitter.

[I say woman because if I say girl it makes me sound like a pedophile even though this was like three weeks ago. I also know that, that almost seemed like a "I HAD IT WORSE!" but it wasn't meant that way.]
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24 / F / Missouri, USA
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Posted 12/18/08

KILLglamour wrote:

the guy havin a small dick ...


Actually... He was pretty small...
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24 / F / Missouri, USA
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Posted 12/18/08

angelseraphim wrote:


KakashisLover26 wrote:

[I checked and I don't think this topic has been started yet...]

In less than two months I will be seventeen.And I'm afraid of sex already.

I was in a relationship that took us to a point in less than a month and we had sex very quickly. [Within the first week.] We spent the rest of the day together and it was amazing. He dumped me two weeks later for a band.

He swore up til a month later that he really did love me but I have embedded in my mind that he was just using me for sex and because I wouldn't do oral, dumped me.


This has caused me not to want to have sex in relationships.


Has this happened to anyone else?


You're what boys call a practice girl or a naive girl that is easily taken advantage of. I know I'm being mean here but thats what happens when you put out too soon. Even if you didn't put out, the guy you were with would have cheated on you just to vent his sexual needs. So either way you were screwed to begin with. But look that the bright side. Look at all the knowledge you have gained. Now you know which guys are douche-bags and which guys are genuine. Now you know what sex is as a stimulant. I hope that douche-bag didn't get you pregnant or give you an STD. Hey life is a learning experience. Its too bad you had to learn the hard way. If you don't want sex then don't expect anyone to want you either. Sex is one of Meslof's Hierarchy of needs. So basically people (expect the celibate) need sex. If you don't need sex then become a nun or something.


Eh, I'm at the stage now where I think all men suck. They can be gentlemen but I mean in the end, they all want the same thing. Its one of the things I hate about being human. Sex is vile. I do have needs still but I can manage that on my own.

He didn't get me pregnant or anything or give my a STD but no more sex for me. [For the time being anyway]
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26 / M / Finland
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Posted 12/18/08
Nothing much to fear apart from HIV, and that's really rare where I live so I can relax
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26 / F / Arizona, USA
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Posted 12/18/08
Listen,sex is just sex. There's no love involved...it's just sex. Now you may PREFER to have sex with the one you love...but sex is nothing to regret since it's just...you know,sex.It's biological,not emotional. To confuse sex for love.

Physical pain-wise...It doesn't hurt and your not going bleed everywhere. He'll be gentle with you and you'll get used to it easily.
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22 / M / The Netherlands
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Posted 12/18/08

KakashisLover26 wrote:


gopherthegold wrote:

Relax, it takes too much energy to fight with yourself about whether or not it was a mistake. It happened, end of story. I don't think this thread should be for us to tell the OP she made a mistake, because that's for her to decide later on when she has some perspective.

I think there is a lot of latent wisdom in the thread title. Sex is a powerful beast, and it should be respected if not feared, regardless. Maybe you feel a lot of fear now because you wished you'd felt it before, wishing you could change the way things played out.

I was afraid of sex for about a year after my first time. I had sex because I ran out of reasons to not have sex, and my partner made a convincing, non PG-13 argument for having sex. And it was one of the loneliest things I have done with someone. But it came with good things along with the bad; sex was no longer a faceless monster looming on the horizon, it became something very concrete. It also taught me how vulnerable you can feel with someone, and what it's like to have someone make themselves vulnerable for you.

Sex isn't something you should be afraid of; since then I have learned that it can be really awesome. You'll see that you've learned a lot about yourself and your own needs, and that you can bring this knowledge with you to fuel the success of future relationships.

And someone who breaks up with you for not performing a specific sex act isn't worth your time. Don't give yourself baggage by thinking you have to compromise yourself in the first month of a relationship, because you don't.


Well its not just all of that, during the time I was having sex, I couldn't bring myself to relax and my body just kind of went numb.

Masturbation is much better.



that's true let's masturbate together
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26 / F
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Posted 12/18/08
TS just admitted she's a slut .
Posted 12/18/08
Nope. never had it, and not planning to until marriage.
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Posted 12/18/08

KakashisLover26 wrote:


angelseraphim wrote:


KakashisLover26 wrote:

[I checked and I don't think this topic has been started yet...]

In less than two months I will be seventeen.And I'm afraid of sex already.

I was in a relationship that took us to a point in less than a month and we had sex very quickly. [Within the first week.] We spent the rest of the day together and it was amazing. He dumped me two weeks later for a band.

He swore up til a month later that he really did love me but I have embedded in my mind that he was just using me for sex and because I wouldn't do oral, dumped me.


This has caused me not to want to have sex in relationships.


Has this happened to anyone else?


You're what boys call a practice girl or a naive girl that is easily taken advantage of. I know I'm being mean here but thats what happens when you put out too soon. Even if you didn't put out, the guy you were with would have cheated on you just to vent his sexual needs. So either way you were screwed to begin with. But look that the bright side. Look at all the knowledge you have gained. Now you know which guys are douche-bags and which guys are genuine. Now you know what sex is as a stimulant. I hope that douche-bag didn't get you pregnant or give you an STD. Hey life is a learning experience. Its too bad you had to learn the hard way. If you don't want sex then don't expect anyone to want you either. Sex is one of Meslof's Hierarchy of needs. So basically people (expect the celibate) need sex. If you don't need sex then become a nun or something.


Eh, I'm at the stage now where I think all men suck. They can be gentlemen but I mean in the end, they all want the same thing. Its one of the things I hate about being human. Sex is vile. I do have needs still but I can manage that on my own.

He didn't get me pregnant or anything or give my a STD but no more sex for me. [For the time being anyway]


Yeah so. I can say the same thing about women regarding how they rejected, treated and publicly humiliated me. Sex is vile only if it is mistreated. You really don't have the right to feel vindicated since women behave in a similar manner like men. I'm pretty sure you've heard of the term "slut". There are a lot of sluts out there proud of their mistreatment towards man and their promiscuous attitude. You're basically saying that you're better then men by saying men suck. When in fact women are no better. You're feelings of justification are totally diluted since you can easily become the idea you hate the most. A whore. (Men can be whores; Man-whores). All you need is a little motivation. A little coaxing. And of course a little manipulation. No one is free from manipulation becuase everyone has a heart.
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Posted 12/18/08

fadedsilver wrote:

Sex before marriage is kinda illegal... Though, who cares?
Just move on...


Yeah. If you live in Saudi Arabia or some other very hardcore Islamic place. Then yeah you'll get killed for that. Its a pretty trivial thing to get killed over. I wonder who is more immoral: the people that have premarital sex or those executioners and those that dare to pass righteous judgment. Those "holier than thou" fools.
Posted 12/18/08
i want macdonalds. oh
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24 / M / Chillin damn it
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Posted 12/18/08
im afraid of gettin and STD. makin her pregnant, umm and what i might do wrong. or not do. that bout that .
Posted 12/18/08

Hedbrant wrote:

if you use condom theres nothing to be afraid of.

Just find a new guy.
Why not oral? It feels good for both of you


That is just not correct information. I don't want to scare anyone.... I think sex is a wonderful at the right time...... but I also wish that more teens were better informed about the risks involved...... I counsel so many young girls who come in with an unplanned pregnancy or an STD who are very shocked to learn that condoms, even when used perfectly which is hard for someone who is new at sex to achieve... do not have a 100 percent success rate even at protecting against pregnancy. You may also want to consider that it is relatively easy for condoms to have a hole put in them either as a defect or because of poor handling by the user and it may also interest you to know that sperm is many many times larger than the virus that cause aids and other nasty little diseases....... so the size hole you would need to get an STD is much smaller than the hole you would need to allow a sperm to pass through. Condoms do not protect from every STD. They only cover the males penis and STD's like HPV, herpes, and many other unpleasant things can be contracted by skin to skin touch not involving the penis only. Also oral sex is on the rise and with it comes another surprising detail that folks are sometimes tragically too slow to understand...... Any STD that you can get "down there" you can also get in your mouth, on your face, and in your eyes. We have seen a very fast increase in the number of girls who are coming in with herpes in their mouths on their faces or even in their eyes. When herpes infects your eyes it can lead to blindness. So instead of having these diseases "down there" where they are basically invisible many young girls are becoming permanently scarred on their faces from STD's.


I hate to be the bearer of bad news but ........THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SAFE SEX!!

Condoms are safer sex not safe sex......
Oral sex is even riskier than Condoms in some cases.....
The safest alternative is one virgin guy + one virgin girl and even then, if one of you was exposed to an STD by birth or blood transfusion or other means it is still risky.

~Echo
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