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Help Revise Essay plz? ;D im 14 years old be nice :O
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Posted 12/17/08 , edited 12/17/08
The Effects of Industrialization


The industrial Revolution was a time where many great things were invented. The effects

of industrialization helped defined the Victorian Period as a time of great change, by improving

the economy and transportation through the addition of new jobs, inventions, and advancement

of transportation.


The industrial revolution helped defined the Victorian Period, by changing a farming

lifestyle to a factory lifestyle. “By 1870, there were over 100,000 steam engines at work

throughout Britain.” (Industrial 3) Because of the invention of the steam engine there were many

new ideas to improve daily life of the people. These steam engines were huge, and were

powerful enough to run whole factories. (Industrial 3) Steam engines caused the rise of factories,

which led to the necessities of workers, causing people to move from a farming lifestyle to an

urban lifestyle. “In 1837, 80% of Britain’s population lived in the countryside, but in a matter of

years, machines were invented that could do jobs way faster than a human, thus causing the rise

of new factories. Because of this people were left jobless, therefore they flocked to the cities to

find jobs in factories.” (Industrial 2) Although this left people jobless, it provided jobs for more

people because more factories were built, increasing the production of goods. “Children and

young women were employed in terrible conditions in factories and dangerous places, such as

textile mills and mines.” (Industrial 17) Women and children weren’t physically capable to do

such work, they had to do it to support their families. Although the factories provided jobs for

people, it had also killed off many children and women who worked in unsafe or unsanitary

environments


New inventions improved the economy by increasing the productions of goods, which

means the increase of industrialization, causing the economy to grow, prospering the Victorian

Period. With the invention of the cotton gin, cotton production accelerated. Cotton production

was now fast and highly profitable. (Industrial Revolution 4) With the production of cotton, the

need for more factories was mandatory, affecting the economy with its large productions. The

Spinning Jenny could spin up to 8 threads at once, soon improved up to 120. (Inventions 2)

This invention helped the economy by lowering the prices of clothing made from wool, since it

could now be made much faster, and more efficiently. “The Water frame was a large wheel that

was turned using running water.” This wheel was then used to turn the cogs inside a factory to

operate the machinery. (Inventions 3) The Water Frame was able to work faster than people,

therefore more work was being done. The inventions of the Industrial Revolution were crucial

to the economy because if there were no inventions, factories wouldn't have been popular, and if

they weren't popular the economy wouldn't have improved.



With the inventions of the steam engine, much more machinery could be made, and

powered by a steam-engine. The steamboat was a fast, and cheap new method of transportation

compared to overland transportation though horse-drawn wagons. (Corrick 50) Steamboats

helped speed up the transportation of goods. increasing the economy. Steam-powered trains were much

cheaper and faster than horse-drawn wagon transportation, and was twice as fast as steamboats

(Corrick 57-58). Steam-powered trains were fast and cheap, therefore it benefited the economy

by its fast services. The inventions of the Industrial Revolution was crucial to the economy,

helping it grow to what it is today.


Industrialization defined the Victorian Period, by improving it with the new methods of

transportation, and the improvement of the economy. The inventions of the Industrial

Revolution is how we have most of our inventions that we have today. If it weren't for the

inventions we wouldn't have improved on it and made it better. For instance if trains were never

invented, then subways would never have existed. Although the Industrial Revolution had a lot

of negativities, the outcome was astonishing, comparing how the life was in the 1800s, to our

life today. We children seem to take life for granted, but think of the children back then.

YAY! finished ;D 4PM-11:35 PM
Posted 12/17/08 , edited 12/17/08


You did this? O.o
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26 / F / ಠ_ಠ
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Posted 12/17/08 , edited 12/17/08
i'm 13. be nicer xD
Posted 12/17/08
I'm 12, be nicer <__<"
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Posted 12/17/08

lamluong wrote:



you wrote this ??
wow ..
good job for a 14 years old ^_^
lolz..
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26 / M / ORANGE COUNTY Cal...
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Posted 12/17/08

EuphoricMoon wrote:



You did this? O.o



yes O_o took me approximately 7 hours to get all info and write all that so far :O ill edit this and put up the new one after i finish.
i had to do everything all over again because i left my binder in my 6th period with all research and source cards and note cards and everything in there O_O so i had to start over again
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Posted 12/17/08

-MiSa- wrote:


lamluong wrote:



you wrote this ??
wow ..
good job for a 14 years old ^_^
lolz..


yay thnx ;D took me about 7 hours to do everything cuz its due tomorrow and i left binder at school.. (7 hours to get what i got so far) dam research paper >:O

Posted 12/17/08

lamluong wrote:


EuphoricMoon wrote:



You did this? O.o



yes O_o took me approximately 7 hours to get all info and write all that so far :O ill edit this and put up the new one after i finish.
i had to do everything all over again because i left my binder in my 6th period with all research and source cards and note cards and everything in there O_O so i had to start over again


I don't understand. Why do you want to revise it?
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Posted 12/17/08

EuphoricMoon wrote:


lamluong wrote:


EuphoricMoon wrote:



You did this? O.o



yes O_o took me approximately 7 hours to get all info and write all that so far :O ill edit this and put up the new one after i finish.
i had to do everything all over again because i left my binder in my 6th period with all research and source cards and note cards and everything in there O_O so i had to start over again


I don't understand. Why do you want to revise it?



to make it better? to get a better grade? why else
Posted 12/17/08 , edited 12/17/08


LOOL.Why revise it? It's your work and you researched all of that, right? Unless, you got your essay from a book, you really need to revise it. >...>
Posted 12/17/08
im a 13-look a like be way nicer :]
Posted 12/17/08 , edited 12/17/08


there's it, happy? :)

anyways, that's doing your homework :S, but since im bored....
im 12 n_n, treat me much nicer.

PS
forgot something, you should add a concluding sentence... it would be nice to add about how it affected the beginning of the global warming... since the topic is about the effect of the industrialization...
what're those "industrial, corrick, and inventions and a number nezt to it? dont tell me those are part of the bibliography of a book =__=
have a nice day
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Posted 12/17/08
um... you need to revise your introduction, its not that its bad, but always your intruduction gotta be catchy and powerful. well thats if you want to survive in my 11th grade teacher. honestly you would get a B+ grade to A-, but since your in 9th grade or atleast i presume you are, u guys grade on format alot. anyway gud luck
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25 / F / Philippines
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Posted 12/17/08
whoa. great essay! XD
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26 / M / ORANGE COUNTY Cal...
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Posted 12/17/08

checkmate25 wrote:

um... you need to revise your introduction, its not that its bad, but always your intruduction gotta be catchy and powerful. well thats if you want to survive in my 11th grade teacher. honestly you would get a B+ grade to A-, but since your in 9th grade or atleast i presume you are, u guys grade on format alot. anyway gud luck



thnx that helped i know its a weak intro but i dont have time :O and im tired good enough for a 7 hour essay -_- Lols
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